To The Woman He Loves

by Theresa Hodge

  I took that chance to close my eyes and inhale the scent of my husband that I had come to know and love so well. Whenever I smelled the scent of Ronan’s masculine cologne, I would always think of it as Ronan’s scent and his alone.

  “Who’s going to be here with the kids, if I leave?” I finally found my weak voice to ask him, while silently praying away my impending tears.

  My God, I have to be here for my kids.

  I hoped to be around for my children many more years. The peace I found in Ronan’s robust arms comforted me as uncertainty shook me to the core.

  “My mother would love to come spend the week with the kids. All you have to do is say the word,” he said, watching me expectantly.

  I pretended to consider his proposition and then said, “No, you go ahead and handle business and I’ll take care of the home front. When you get home, we’ll make up for any time lost.”

  “Oh, the ways I love you, my sweet Ruby. You know what to say to make me feel like rushing back to you. Take care of home and I’ll surely be on the first thing smoking back to you babe,” Ronan said as his hands began to freely roam over my backside. He kissed me once again, releasing a drawn out groan into my mouth.

  “Umph, Ronan, I can’t wait until you get back,” I said.

  “What about giving me a parting gift?” he asked, as he methodically grinded his pelvis into mine. His warm hands slipped inside the groove on the back of my dress and settled atop my plush bottom before he began to unbutton my dress.

  “Roonaaaan, we can’t… You don’t have time,” I tried to convince him to leave on time. He had a flight to catch, and I had a very important appointment that I couldn’t miss.

  “Turn around.”

  “Baby, you have to get going.”

  He eased around to stand behind me and pressed his body against mine. “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll leave right now,” he said. His prominent erection pressed hard against my ass. “I’ll be a little bruised, but I’ll leave without another word. I promise.”

  My head fell back against his chest as I basked in the wonderful feel of my husband’s love next to mine. Would this be the last time I would feel, want, and desire him? Would the procedure I was about to undergo take away my ability to bond with Ronan in the most intimate way?

  Turning to face him, I felt so lost. I didn’t know what life held for me over the next weeks or months. Looking into his luminous eyes, I saw so much love. My mouth opened and I was ready to tell him everything I’d been going through.

  “Tell me, Ruby. Tell me you want me to go,” he said before I was able to say the words that were caught in my throat.

  “Ronan…” I began.

  My brief moment of confidence shrank back into the depths of my mind. Whatever made me think of telling him the dark secret that was eating me alive disappeared? The secret worried me so much that my hair had started to come out in chunks.

  No. On this one thing, I had to stand and fight with my own will. Therefore, I gave in to the moment before me. The only moment I would concern myself with.

  Fighting back my tears, I grabbed his tie and pulled him close to me. I kissed him long and sweet. “Is this what you want, Ronan?” I asked.

  “Oh yeah. This is what I need, Ruby,” Ronan said as I pulled him over to the bed by his tie. As he walked, he discarded his jacket and tie seemingly in one action. “Lose that dress and I’ll show you the ways that I need you,” he added, as he stepped out of his pants.

  I pulled the dress over my head and was about to toss it before he halted me by assaulting my lips. Moans escaped my mouth only to become trapped in his throat. He took the dress out of my hand and ridded us of any and all barriers.

  As he took a step back and admired my body that had gained a few extra pounds and visible stretch marks over the years, I could feel his eyes seduce every imperfection before he walked back over to me to kiss and caress my body.

  He guided us onto the bed, where he climbed on top of me and used his legs to nudge mine apart. His eyes glazed over with lust as he rubbed a finger up and down my slick heat. His nostrils flared when he brought his finger to his nose and inhaled deeply to take in the essence of my heated scent, before bringing the same finger to his mouth to taste me.

  “That’s right. Feed me before I go, sweet Ruby,” he said peppering kisses down my body to the juncture between my thighs.

  I moaned a pleasurable sigh as Ronan spread me wide before him. His eyes greedily ate up the sight of my glistening heat before his mouth attacked the object of his desire with ferocity.

  His mouth opened wide and sucked my plump lips in while his tongue found great satisfaction in attacking my clit with the precision of a seasoned connoisseur.

  “Ronan!” I screamed his name in the throes of passion erupting from my core in a thunderous explosion.

  He climbed atop of me, spread my legs far apart and entered me with no restraint. He groaned as he entered and exited, cherishing each stroke with his ritual call. “Ruby, baby… Oh Ruby. You feel so good,” he whispered sweetly against my ear as he made love to me as if it would be our last time together for a long while.

  My moans and his groans permeated the otherwise serene room.

  “Do you like that, Ruby?” he asked as his sculpted, tanned body moved in earnest to bring us both the ultimate pleasure.

  “I love it,” was all I could say before his lips devoured mine. His tongue coated with the flavor of my juices entered my mouth viciously. I moaned aloud as scorching heat burned between my thighs as he thrusted deeper into my slickness.

  Finally, his lips slid down my chest and caught a pointy hard nipple. I looked down at my husband’s chestnut head full of wavy hair and watched him feed off my breast. I gasped aloud as an electrical shock jolted deep inside my slick walls as he trembled savagely. His lips sought another kiss, and our kisses reached maximal intensity. His urgent rhythm meant the throbbing of his shaft had arrived at a climax. His hot seeds bathed my walls, and my nectar sprang forward with a satisfactory release lovingly merging our essence. We lay for a few seconds staring into each other’s eyes, having reached optimum pleasure in such a short time.

  Kissing my shoulders as he eased off me, he said, “Thank you, Ruby. I think I can make it on that plane now.”

  “Honey, I’m glad to be of service,” I said, holding a smile in place for his sake. A smile that faded when he entered the bathroom for a quick shower.

  Within minutes, Ronan would be gone to the retreat in Cincinnati, unknowingly leaving me to deal with the life-altering decision to have a total hysterectomy. I hid my need for surgery from him, just like I hid the fact that I had stage one squamous cell carcinoma.

  When my doctor called me back after a Pap smear and told me that I had some abnormal cells on my test, I was sent for an ultrasound, which also did not look good. Ultrasound-guided biopsy proved I had ovarian cancer, without a shadow of a doubt. I felt devastated, fallible and weak, when I found out. How was I, the rock of my family, going to tell my husband that I was in for the fight of my life?

  I shivered with fear when I thought of telling Ronan of my condition, especially after how dad treated mom when she was ill. It would break my sister, Emmy’s, heart to know that I too was afflicted with cancer, so my plan was to beat this thing, like I’d beat everything else in life, on my own.

  I rocked back and forth on the bed as I looked at the bathroom door and listened to the sound of the water running from Ronan’s shower.

  “It’s best that I don’t tell him. He already has so much on him,” I said aloud, not realizing Ronan had come out of the shower.

  “Who has too much on them? Ruby, what are you talking about and why are you shaking like that?” he asked.

  “Nothing. I was just thinking aloud about what I was going to tell Shauntay about her friend Serenity. She asked me earlier for some advice,” I lied. Yeah, I threw Serenity under the bus, but I had to come up with something to say.

  Rona
n sat down on the bed beside me with his towel wrapped around his waist. “You looked stressed when I came out the shower. Are you sure that’s all that’s on your mind? With the way you’re acting, I’m about to call and reschedule my flight.”

  “There’s no need to do that.” I played it cool. I had to keep a level head until he left. It was taking him forever to leave though. Any other morning, he would’ve grabbed his bags and been out of the house by now.

  “Baby, if you need anything while I’m gone, just give me a call. If you can’t get me, call Mark, or one of our assistants. You have all of our numbers. I can be back here with you in a matter of hours, for any reason. Do you hear me?”

  “I’m sure everything will be fine, Ronan.”

  “You and the kids are my top priority. You are my world, Ruby.” He smiled.

  “Thank you for always being here for me, Ronan. I love the way you take care of us. You are a wonderful husband and you deserve the best of everything. I want you to know that.”

  Ronan knelt down in front of me. He placed a kiss on my hand. “Baby, I do have the best of everything,” he said as he stood up and started getting dressed.

  As tough as it was going to be, I was going to kick cancer’s ass. I felt horrible for not telling him, but I had to do it that way. The news would crush him, as it had crushed me. I didn’t want the ghastly disease that had taken up residence in my body to also damage the love we shared. For that reason alone, this was a secret I was willing to bear.

  “Ruby, a lot of these guys can’t wait to get away from their wives for a full week of five-star arrangements, parties and guy fun, but I’m partial to spending time with only you,” Ronan said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  He had redressed in a nice suit and tie, looking like the strong father and businessman I loved and respected. He picked up his suitcase and walked toward the bedroom door. I wrapped the bed sheet around me and followed him to the front door, where he kissed me goodbye and then looked deeply into my dark brown, weary eyes.

  “I’ll see you Saturday,” he said, looking like he wanted to say more but decided against it.

  “I can’t wait,” I said.

  To be the subject of Ronan’s silver gaze was like being a bee drawn to honey. I breathed in his intoxicating scent once more before he tore his gaze from mine and walked to his car without saying another word.

  Left alone, a sudden loss of his demanding presence washed over me. I watched him walk down the driveway. I whispered prayer upon prayer that he would be safe and that I would live to see another day.

  God, please give me strength to carry this out, my inner spirit silently cried out.

  Chapter 6

  Ronan

  I looked outside the window of the airplane. The sky was a perfect shade of blue and the clouds looked like I could reach out and touch them. I wished my Ruby were there beside me. Although a lot of business had been accomplished at the retreat, I missed my wife and kids.

  My family was the life of me and I wouldn’t be the man I was without them. I thought about the sound of Ruby’s voice the last time we talked. Something seemed amiss with her and I couldn’t wait to get home and lay my eyes on her, to see that she was alright. Then, and only then, would all be right in the world.

  “Sir, would you like anything to drink?” asked the flight attendant drawing me away from my thoughts.

  I looked up into an attractive face that encased beautiful, brown slanted eyes. Her friendly smile immediately drew me in and rendered me speechless, which was a rare occurrence for me. “No, nothing for me at the moment,” I said.

  Her smile grew wider as she looked into my eyes with interest. “If you need anything at all please don’t hesitate to let me know. My name is Misty Crewe, by the way,” she said pointing a finger at her name tag.

  My eyes naturally slid to the cleavage of her full bosom, before returning to settle on her face. “My name is Ronan Michaels,” I reached out to enclose her hand in a firm handshake. Her hands lingered in mine a little longer than necessary, so I respectfully pulled it away.

  “Don’t hesitate if you need anything at all,” she reiterated with her tone suggesting her offering was more than what was on the airline’s menu. I nodded and she reluctantly moved on down the aisle.

  I peered out the window at the beautiful skyline as the airplane ate up the miles bringing me closer to my wife and kids. Then, I exhaled an exhausted breath, laid my head on the head rest, closed my eyes and waited for the airplane to land.

  It was late in the evening, when I entered through the front door. The house was quiet and in shadows of the setting sun.

  “Ruby?” I called out as I closed the door, making sure to lock it. I sat my luggage aside and walked up the stairs anticipating seeing my kids run from their rooms with open arms.

  I peeked in Yasmine’s room, but she wasn’t in there. Then, I opened Benedict’s door and his room was empty, as well. Each of their rooms was tidy without the usual toys, clothes and sneakers that littered the floor on any given day.

  I smiled at the thought of finding my three favorite people in our master bedroom together. The kids must’ve been sleeping with Ruby since I’d been out of town. I’d come home a day early and hoped to surprise them. I proceeded down the hallway to my bedroom and found the door was closed. I opened it and frowned. The curtains were pulled closed and the room was in total darkness.

  I flipped on the light switch and the room glowed in light. My eyes traveled to the bed and found Ruby bundled beneath the covers.

  I glanced at my watch. Our home was usually a vibrant place to be at this time of day. It was only a little after 6:00 p.m., much too early for Ruby to be asleep.

  I walked over to the bed to sit beside my wife’s still body. Her even breathing let me know she was deep in sleep. I softly brushed a flyaway wisp of her hair from her beautiful face. Her once full head of hair had become thinner lately. I made a note to get her an appointment scheduled with a hair loss specialist, and to schedule a vacation so she could relax.

  “Ruby,” I called out softly before I bent to brush her lips with mine.

  She slowly opened her eyes and rubbed her hand across them as if to clear her vision. Her eyes held an unfocused look as she stared at me. She gasped in surprise before easing herself up in bed.

  “Ronan,” she said softly. “I didn’t expect you home until tomorrow night.

  “I thought I would surprise you and the kids, since we finished up the workshops a day early. I hope you’re glad to see me.”

  “Of course I am, darling,” she reached out to give me a brief, weak hug.

  I frowned in confusion, when she didn’t give me her usual hearty hug, and she didn’t act as happy to see me as she said she was.

  “Where are the kids?” I asked instead of dwelling on her odd greeting.

  “They’re with Shauntay,” she said speaking of her best friend.

  “Well, I miss them and want to see them,” I said. “Give her a call and tell her I’m on my way over to pick them up.”

  “Okay,” Ruby said, before maneuvering herself out of bed using slow and steady movements. I stood watching her as I unknotted my tie and slang it on a nearby chair.

  “What’s wrong with you, sweetheart?” I asked, walking over to get her phone for her off the nightstand. I handed it to her. “You don’t seem like your normal self. Are you sick?”

  “I’m fine. I just have a slight headache.”

  “Are you sure that’s all?” I asked again feeling deeply concerned for my wife. I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on, and she was being secretive. The unsettling feeling in my heart before I left home was even stronger after seeing her like this. “You know you can tell me anything, and I’ll do everything I can to help you.”

  “Ronan. I’m fine,” she replied as she scrolled through her phone, looking for Shauntay’s number. “I’m going to call Shauntay and tell her to get the kids ready to come home.”

  “G
ood, and ask her if she and Mark would like for me to bring anything over as a gift for them watching the kids,” I said.

  “I will ask, but I will warn you that they may be disappointed that they have to come home. They really love being around little Contessa.”

  “Oh, so they’ve traded their ole dad in for the new baby, huh? Little rascals,” I said and Ruby and I laughed.

  “They just like being around babies. It makes them feel like they’re little helpers when they get to take care of the baby,” Ruby said, and I could see her perking up as she talked about our friend’s new baby.

  “Yassi and Benny are good kids, which is why I can’t wait to see them.”

  I watched as Ruby made the quick phone call to tell Shauntay. I couldn’t hear what Shauntay said on the other end, but Ruby sent a quick look in my direction before abruptly ending the call with a promise to talk to her tomorrow.

  “I wish I had known you were coming home, Ronan. I would’ve had dinner ready,” she said as she stood up and went over to her vanity. She picked up her brush and began brushing her hair back into place.

  “Well, you’d normally have one of your gourmet meals on the stove by now. I guess you were on hiatus since I was out of town. You deserve a break too, so don’t you worry about a thing, sweetheart. Let me grab a quick shower to rid me of the plane ride, and I’ll pick up the kids and get something for dinner on the way home,” I said to her as concern for my wife continued to nag me.

  “I don’t mind fixing something real quick. I love to cook for my family,” she replied in a shaky voice.

  I walked towards my wonderful wife and pulled her into my embrace. “Woman, give your husband a real kiss to show me how much you missed me. That’s what you can do for me.”

  A worried expression entered her eyes that I didn’t miss before she reached up to encircle my neck with her arms. Our mouths met as I kissed her deeply to show how much I missed and loved her. She sighed as I drew her closer to my hardening body.