At Her Own Risk

by Rachael Duncan

  But I can’t.

  She’s under my skin, constantly crawling through my body and I can’t shake it. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I don’t want to. Charlotte’s baby shower proved Paige isn’t as unaffected as she leads on. I found a crack in her façade once, and I’ll do it again.

  I got a call from Sanchez this morning saying he wanted to offer the position to Paige. Despite my obvious bias, I wasn’t surprised. Judging by her résumé and numbers as a financial advisor, I knew she’d be a good fit for the company. I wanted to be the one to give her the good news, but thought better of it. It’s a bad idea to blur the lines between professional and personal. And what I want to do to her is definitely personal.

  Her hazel eyes hide the one thing I need to keep pursuing her.

  Hope.

  What started as curiosity and a challenge to make her submit to my desires quickly morphed into something else. Every time she tells me no, I want her that much more. And not just for her body either. I’ve had that and it’s still not enough. Maybe I’m a goddamn fool for chasing the same girl for so long, but I can’t stop. My father always told Marcus and me growing up that nothing worthwhile comes easy. I think that’s why the both of us are persistent and go after the ones who put up the most fight.

  And that’s why I’m making my move today.

  Paige’s wall was faltering during the interview. I caught her by surprise, and now I need to capitalize on it before she gets her defenses firmly up again.

  Instead of being my usual cocky self, I’m going for a different approach. One that might throw her off balance again. With flowers in one hand and takeout in the other, I walk up toward her townhouse to surprise her. Her possible reaction has me a little on edge, but it’s too late to turn back now.

  I glance down at the bouquet I’m holding as my foot hits the first step leading up to her porch and pause.

  Flowers? Who the hell am I?

  I back up to put them in my car as I shake my head, muttering about how lame I’m being. She’ll take one look at me and think I’ve officially lost my balls. I’m about to shut the door when I hesitate again.

  Wait, girls love flowers, dumbass. What are you doing?

  Reaching back into the car, I pull them out with more force than necessary and stare at them as my mind goes back and forth on if this is stupid or not. It’s official; the girl is making me lose my damn mind. My head leans against the hood of my car as I let out a groan. Never in my life have I second-guessed myself as much as I am in this moment, especially over something so trivial.

  Fuck it. She’s getting the flowers.

  Turning back around with renewed purpose, I stride up the steps leading to her front door like I wasn’t acting like a major vag and have my shit together.

  An energy I can’t explain runs through my body after I knock on the door. The anticipation of seeing her sends a strange feeling throughout that I try to ignore. If I examine it too closely, I’ll freak myself out and bail. I hear the locks turn before it swings open. An amused grin is impossible to suppress when I take in her wide eyes and gaping mouth. She definitely wasn’t expecting me to be the one knocking.

  Mission accomplished.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks, her wide eyes narrowing as she glares at me.

  I hold up the food and flowers in my hands and say, “I heard you got the job, so I thought we should celebrate. These are for you.” I extend my arm for her to take the flowers. She studies them suspiciously before accepting, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Are we going to eat on the porch or are you going to invite me in?”

  Her focus comes back up to mine before rolling her eyes and standing to the side to let me in.

  “I know manners are a foreign concept to you, but it’s normally considered rude to show up at someone’s place unannounced.” Her words hit my back as I take in my surroundings. Shock has given way to her usual feistiness I know and admire so much.

  A sexual reply is on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow it, choosing to ignore her instead. Paige puts off this bad-ass, I don’t give a shit about anything attitude that is totally at odds with the furnishings of her home. I expected it to be more . . . cold. Between the warm colors, inviting lighting, and soft furnishings, it’s anything but. It’s welcoming, which is the complete opposite of the way she is with me.

  Except for that one night.

  Continuing on through the living room, I head toward the kitchen to set our food down.

  “Make yourself at home,” she mutters loud enough for me to hear. I pause and look straight ahead at the wall facing me. My head tilts from side to side to stretch my neck and release some of the building tension with every snarky comment she makes. She’s looking for a reaction and she’s close to getting one.

  “Plates?” I ask as I look over my shoulder.

  An audible sigh rushes past her full lips. “They’re in the cabinet on your left.” Her tone is monotone and annoyed. Damn, you’d think the girl would show a little appreciation that I brought her food.

  I dump a few spoonfuls of chicken lo mein, fried rice, and a couple pieces of crab Rangoon on our plates before walking over to the kitchen table nestled in the corner of the room. When she doesn’t join me, I look at her expectantly with my eyebrows raised. Her shoulders slump forward as she relents and has a seat.

  “I got your favorites.”

  She looks down at her plate before her attention comes back up to me. Her eyes squint in confusion as she studies me. “How’d you know what I like?”

  I shrug, a little embarrassed. “I overheard you talking to Scarlett when we were all hanging out once.”

  There it is. The slip. I’ve disarmed her. The tough exterior from moments ago has melted and before me is the soft, approachable woman I’ve had the privilege of seeing one other time. If only I could keep her here.

  She clears her throat and looks down at her plate and I know the moment is gone.

  “When’s your first day?”

  “You found out where I live. I thought you’d be smart enough to figure that out too.”

  My fork makes a loud clanking noise when I drop it on my plate. “Look, can you drop the attitude for thirty minutes and enjoy dinner with me? Shit.” I say the last part under my breath, my exasperation coming through loud and clear. A guy can only take so much bullshit before he snaps. Well, I’m at my snapping point.

  She pulls her head back like I’ve slapped her. Surprise is clear in her wide eyes as she blinks a few times. I see her throat move as she swallows hard. “Sorry.” The tinge of embarrassment in her tone is enough for me to nod my acknowledgment and let it go.

  “I start on Monday,” she offers up after a few moments, and that’s the start of an easy conversation. It only takes a few minutes to get her to laugh, and it’s music to my ears that sends a zap straight to my chest.

  We’ve finished eating and I’m helping her clean up. There’s not much to do, so while she’s rinsing our plates, I make quick work of wiping off the table. Sneaking up behind her, I place my lips behind her ear and say in a low tone, “As much as your feistiness turns me on, I’m enjoying this new side of you.”

  I watch her as a wildfire of goose bumps spreads over her neck. She doesn’t move, her hands suspended in midair with a dish attached. In one smooth motion, she turns to face me. There’s hesitation as she stares up into my eyes, but also something else. Something more primal and hungry.

  Need.

  The plate falls from her hands and shatters on the floor as her arms wrap around my neck. Her lips crash against mine in a way that has me going over the edge and throwing caution to the wind as I lose control.

  A man’s restraint is only so strong.

  Paige

  DEEP INSIDE, I hate myself for being so weak. But as soon as my lips collide with his, all of my self-loathing is engulfed in a flame as all rational thought vacates my body.

  A ravenous need I’ve never experienced b
efore consumes me and I don’t care about the consequences. The only thing that matters is the ache in my center and Sean is the only one who can soothe it.

  While our tongues engage in a battle of wills, I feel the exact moment his restraint snaps.

  “I need you,” he growls. His grip on my waist is rough and hard, leaving no doubt as to what he wants. A gasp leaves my mouth the moment he pulls me flush against his body, the bulge in his pants impossible to miss. A slight groan vibrates in his throat at the contact.

  My chest rises and falls quickly while his mouth trails kisses down my neck. I lean my head back to give him better access. This is too much, but not enough, the contradiction sending my mind into a spin.

  What the hell are you doing?

  My eyes squeeze shut, hoping to drown out the voice in the back of my head. To quiet my inner thoughts, I grab the sides of his face, pull his head up, and attack his lips again.

  In an instant, I’m weightless, suspended in midair before my back hits the wall behind me with a thud. Instinctively, my legs wrap around his body as he uses his hips to pin me.

  Sean douses the small fire burning between us with kerosene when his large palm glides up my shirt and reaches my breast. I’m unable to contain the moan that escapes me when he pinches my bra-covered nipple. I’m desperate for more as I grind against him unabashedly.

  “Fuck, Paige.” It comes out like a plea, the rawness of his voice making my core clench. “I need you now.”

  I nod frantically, unable to find words that won’t make me sound as desperate as I am.

  He spins us around quickly and walks a few steps before placing me on the dining room table. As soon as he puts an inch of distance between us, his hands go to my pants and unbutton them. While he works on my pants, I attack his shirt, hating each button as I go.

  “Lift up,” he says against my lips. With my hands behind me on the table, I raise my hips. In one rough motion, he pulls off my jeans and panties. Immediately after, my shirt and bra are next to go, leaving me completely bare to him.

  His eyes rake me from head to toe as he licks his lips. The last time we had sex, we were in such a hurry to keep from getting caught there was no opportunity to stare at each other. Having him look at me like this makes me want to hide. It’s not the predatory gleam in his eye that has me feeling vulnerable, it’s the way he sees me. No matter how bitchy or indifferent I am, I know he sees right through it.

  And it’s terrifying.

  Sensing my growing unease, his hands travel up my arms before cupping my face and sealing my mouth with his.

  “Stay with me,” he whispers against my lips.

  I should be freaked out by how well he reads me, but I focus on his words and put a lock on my worries. My hands travel up his rippled abs and over his pecs until they’re pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. I don’t pull back to admire the perfectly sculpted body standing in front of me for fear my brain will start working again. With his lips on mine, I’m able to focus on the task at hand: get Sean naked and inside of me.

  My fingers fumble with the button on his pants before getting them undone. They fall to the floor and he pulls back to study me again. With hearts racing and breaths panting, I don’t know what he’s waiting for.

  “I don’t have any condoms on me,” he says after a minute.

  Who cares? Just do me already!

  The rational side of my brain fights its way through the lust-filled cloud in my head and tells me this is a problem. My stomach drops. “I don’t have any either.”

  Shit. Why don’t I have any here?

  Because you weren’t expecting Mr. Sex on Legs to show up unannounced.

  “I’m on the pill,” I blurt out. His eyes search mine, making me apprehensive. Then it dawns on me that he’s probably looking for other assurances. “I’m clean too.” I feel the heat travel from my core to my cheeks. This is so awkward as he stares at me in silence, completely nude.

  “I haven’t been with—” He stops abruptly, his jaw clenching. “I’m clean too if you’re sure.”

  I nod, not sure how to continue since the mood has kind of been killed.

  He closes the small distance between us slowly. His eyes travel over my face before he tucks a stray hair behind my ear. The tender gesture sends butterflies straight to my stomach. I’m not used to this, especially between us. It’s a single moment, but so at odds with everything that defines us. We’re jabs and jokes and intense sexual tension. We’re not sweet and caring and affectionate.

  Like before, he kisses the inner turmoil out of me, making me forget about everything we should and shouldn’t be. Soon, we’re right where we were before being responsible slowed us down.

  His hands skim the inside of my thighs and I tremble in anticipation. I can tell he’s taking his time on purpose, knowing how badly I need the friction. It seems like an eternity before he gives me what I want and connects with my clit. I let out a gasp in response. I’m beyond ready for him as he circles and teases me. As good as this feels, I don’t want foreplay.

  I want him.

  Hooking my heels behind his bare ass, I pull him into me, hoping he gets the point. The grin that I feel spread across his lips confirms that he does.

  He lines himself up and sinks into me in one slow push. My head falls back as my eyes slam shut.

  “Eyes on me,” he demands, stilling his movements.

  My focus snaps back to him before he continues in a punishing rhythm. With jaw set, he stares deep into me and it’s more than I can handle. It’s too intimate, too . . . close.

  Going back to my safe place, I kiss him and push my worries to the back of my mind. With my attention solely on my impending orgasm, it doesn’t take long for me to explode. A myriad of words I’m not even sure are in the English dictionary fly out of my mouth as I ride the wave Sean has me on. With my body relaxed and exhausted, Sean stills inside of me as his grip on my hips tightens to an almost painful point as he finds his release.

  His head slumps forward and rests on my shoulder, a large exhale hitting my bare chest.

  My whole body goes tense the instant I start coming down from this high. Need and desire has disappeared, leaving panic in its wake.

  “Stop.” His tone is firm, surprising me. He stands back up and says, “You’re overthinking this again.”

  I glance away even though I feel his eyes on me. He’s trying to get me to stay in the bubble we were both cocooned in a minute ago, but I can’t.

  I swallow. “I’m not overthinking anything.” It sounds like a lie even to my own ears.

  He backs up, giving me some much needed space. “No? So are you going to ignore me for a couple of weeks again and pretend like we didn’t just fuck?”

  I scoff at his crassness and accusation. “I didn’t ignore you. I was . . . busy.”

  He laughs. “Whatever you say, princess. You and I both know you can’t hide from this.”

  He’s right, which only pisses me off. After our encounter at Charlotte’s baby shower, he was all I could think about, but I know how this will end. He’ll eventually walk away and leave me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. Sorry, but that doesn’t sound appealing to me.

  I hop off the table and grab my clothes off the floor before taking them to my bedroom. I make quick work of putting them back on. If Sean wants to have this conversation, I can’t do it while I’m naked.

  “What are you afraid of?” His voice low in my ear makes me jump out of my skin.

  I spin around quickly to see him flashing me his lopsided grin. At least his pants are on. “Jesus, you scared the hell out of me,” I say with a hand on my chest.

  “I gathered. Now answer my question. Why are you fighting this? And no more bullshit.” He pins me with a pointed look, and it’s obvious I can’t avoid him any longer.

  “Look, I’m not the relationship type. I’m fine on my own.” I pause. “I’m happy this way.” While not a lie, it’s not really the truth either. I don’t do rela
tionships, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of what my friends, Lydia and Charlotte, have. They both have great guys that worship the ground they walk on. Men they’d do anything for. Some days, I imagine that could happen to me, but with each failed relationship, the realization it wasn’t in the cards for me has settled in.

  “You’re getting a little ahead of yourself, don’t you think?” He casually leans against the doorframe of my room, crossing his left ankle across the other and folding his arms over his chest.

  I arch my eyebrow and mimic his stance with my arms. “How so?”

  “I never said anything about a relationship, and you’re over here acting like I’m about to propose.”

  Coming from anyone else, I’d be embarrassed. But one look at the playful, cocky glint in his eye, and it’s game on. “Proposing? No, but you have been chasing after me like a lost puppy since I shot you down in Myrtle Beach.”

  He clutches his chest. “You wound me, princess.” His grin is still in place, letting me know he’s full of shit. “You don’t seem to mind me when I’m making you come,” he shoots back.

  That causes my face to redden and my thighs to clench. I attempt to respond, but nothing comes out.

  “Why does this have to be serious? We can keep things casual and the way they are, but you need to stop acting like I have the plague after I fuck you.” His tone is lighthearted, but I still cringe.

  “Casual? Like friends with benefits?”

  His head rocks from side to side as if to toss the title around in his mind. “Listen, let’s not put labels on it, okay? We just take it easy, have some fun, and see where it goes.”

  I study his face, looking for any sign to indicate he’s full of shit. At first, I assumed he was just trying to get into my pants. I wasn’t interested in being a notch on some guy’s belt, least of all a guy who’s as cocky and self-assured as Sean. He needed to be knocked off his high horse, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy doing it. But now that we have had sex, he’s still pursuing more with me, which makes me question the sincerity of his suggestion. Is this a ruse for something more?