My Safe Place

by Steph Poe

  Tom sets up a meeting on Thursday with Anna Foster, his assistant, for an interview. I learn that the magazine is doing a feature on women business owners in the city and he wants my business to be featured on the cover.

  The. Cover. I'm in shock.

  I was enthralled with being featured, but the cover? What an unbelievable opportunity. I could not be more flattered—and nervous. Is he going to want my picture on the cover? A lifetime's worth of insecurities about my appearance fill my mind.

  I make a note to go see my hair stylist and to get a facial. I always feel better about myself with a fresh haircut and exfoliated face.

  I open up my schedule on my laptop so I can get to work. My phone buzzes on my desk. I pick it up to check the alert.

  It's a text message from Cal:

  I miss you.

  A smile spreads on my face. Those three little words make me feel so special and I love it. So much for just being friends I guess.

  You just saw me like an hour ago ;)

  His response is quick:

  Longest hour of my life

  My heart melts. Oh, what am I getting myself into? I feel myself falling hard for this man. He makes me feel incredible.

  I miss you too

  Might as well admit it. Then I add on:

  I have exciting news. Indy Mag is featuring my business in their Dec issue!

  That's great! Celebrate tonight? Dinner at my place?

  Sounds good. Txt me your address and I'll meet you there

  K. See you at 7?

  7 is good. I'll look forward to it all day ;)

  Me too, baby.

  I really, really love it when he calls me baby.

  Chapter 10

  At seven o'clock sharp, I knock on Cal's door, which is shiny, black metal. Very unusual for a door, but his building is more modern than anything I'm used to. He lives in a fourth floor loft about five minutes from my office.

  Cal opens the door looking his normal, sexy self. He's wearing a green tee shirt that fits over his body perfectly to show off his defined, muscular chest. His pants are baggy sweats that hang low on his hips. His arm is gripping the top of the door and his shirt rises up slightly to show a sliver of his abdomen.

  "Hey you. Come on in." He gestures for me to come inside.

  His apartment is an open floor plan with high ceilings that boast exposed pipes and beams. There's a brick wall with three large windows overlooking the city. We walk down a step into a sitting area that has a large, brown sectional couch and a big flat screen TV mounted on the wall over a marble fireplace. I can see the kitchen, which is to the right of living room. It smells wonderful in here, like roasted garlic.

  "Here, let me take your coat." He reaches his hand inside of my collar and helps me out of my jacket. His fingers brush my neck, which elicits a shiver down my back. He walks over to the coat rack in the corner to hang it up. "Have a seat. Can I get you a glass of wine? I have red or white."

  "I would love some red, please." I choose the end of the sectional, closest to the kitchen and sit down. "This place is really great. I've never been in an industrial loft before. How long have you lived here?" My eyes follow him into the kitchen and I watch him pour two glasses of wine.

  "Almost two years." He walks over to me and hands me a glass of wine before setting his down on the wooden coffee table in front of us. He takes a seat by me and crosses his ankle over his knee and casually drapes his arm on the couch behind me. He doesn't offer me anything more so I change the subject.

  "It smells great in here. What's on the menu, Chef Cal?" I flash him a bright smile before taking a sip of the wine. It's not as sweet as I normally like, but it warms my throat and has a pleasant after taste.

  He returns my smile. "I made my specialty, homemade pizza with a garlic butter crust. Probably the best pizza you'll ever eat," he says confidently.

  "Oh, the best I'll ever eat, huh? We'll see about that, Mr. Cocky. I'm pretty picky when it comes to pizza." I like teasing him. Truth is, I've never met a pizza I didn't like.

  He brushes a lock of my hair that has fallen over my eyes behind my ear. "I'm really glad you're here." He's looking at me with that intense stare that makes me feel like he can see right into my soul.

  "I like being with you." I turn my body towards him and pull my leg onto the couch and face him. He's let his beard grow out a little and it's a perfect mix of dark brown hair with scattered flecks of gray. Against his tan skin, it looks so distinguished. I have the sudden urge to feel it, so I reach my hand up and rub my fingers along his jaw. He leans in to my touch and closes his eyes briefly before opening them and finding mine again. His eyes are full of need and I'm sure mine are reflecting the same.

  He leans over, takes my glass, and sets it on the table before, pushing me into the couch and kissing me fiercely. He grabs both of my hands in his and intertwines our fingers before bringing my arms over my head. He releases our grip and runs his fingers down my palms, then lightly caresses the inside of my arms. The sensation is otherworldly. I feel so special and wanted with this light, heated touch. Abruptly, the loud buzzing of the oven timer interrupts us.

  He grunts at the disruption and releases me before going into the kitchen to tend to our dinner. I stand up, ready to walk into the kitchen with him.

  "Can I help with anything?"

  "I've got it, babe. Just gotta toss the salad."

  I giggle at his remark. "Sure I can't help with that?" I tease him.

  I hear his roaring laughter echo in the kitchen. "Maybe later."

  I ask him where the bathroom is. I figure I need to freshen up a bit if I plan on sitting through dinner and actually eat without pouncing on him. He tells me it's the last door at the end of the hallway, so I grab my purse and head that way.

  There are two doors at the end of the hallway and both are closed, so I guess and open the door on the right and find that it's Cal's office. Curiosity gets the best of me and I wander in to take a quick peek. He has a small black lamp on the desk and it's on, lighting up the small room. He has two large bookshelves behind his desk and I noticed some framed pictures. I walk around the desk to take a look. I love looking at pictures when you're in someone's personal space. I feel like it gives you an insight to the important people or things in their lives.

  The first one I see is a picture of what I assume are his parents, dressed in evening wear and standing in front of a sunset. They look so happy. I smile at the thought of being married for so long and being as happy as they appear in the picture. My smile fades when I think of his mom, left alone now that her husband has passed.

  There's a picture of Cal and another man who must be his brother. They look alike, but his brother has blond hair and is a few inches shorter than him. They're both standing in front of one of the art sculptures I recognize from the canal walkway.

  The next picture I see is of about fifteen college aged guys grouped together and it looks like they're all covered in a white foam. Maybe from some sort of fraternity party or something? I don't know a ton about what happens on college campuses, aside from the popular college movies that I've seen. I finished my degree online and never had the full college experience. I was too busy working a full time job while going to school.

  I take a moment to look at all the faces searching for Cal when my eyes fall on a man that I never wanted to see again. He's smiling and has his arm around another guy and when I look closer, that guy is Cal. My mind is confused. My eyes go from Cal to him, from him back to Cal. What the hell? Cal was friends with him? I can't even comprehend what this means. My heart is racing and my chest is tightening with anxiety. I quickly turn around and walk out of the office, pulling the door closed quietly behind me. I step across the hall to open the other door that must be the bathroom, but first I take a quick peek down the hall to make sure Cal isn't watching me. When I don't see him, I duck into the bathroom. I quickly fix my hair and wash my hands. I take a deep breath before opening the door to head back to Cal
.

  He's standing at the doorway of the bathroom waiting for me. "Everything okay?" He flashes a worried look at me.

  "Yea, I'm fine. Sorry I took so long, I was, um checking my messages quick." I glide past his tall frame and walk towards the kitchen. I can't say anything to him about this or he'll know I went snooping in his things, but I don't think I can ignore the sudden sickness I feel in my stomach.

  So Cal knows Chris. Maybe they're even still friends. When Chris and I were together, he only introduced me to one or two of his friends once and that was when we ran into them at a restaurant. We never hung out with them. Chris said he liked to have me to himself. Come to think of it, we never hung out with my friends either. He talked to me about being in a fraternity, but he never divulged any details.

  I walk up to the dining room table and Cal is right behind me. He pulls out a chair and gestures for me to sit. He takes the seat across from me and begins serving up our dinner. I try to relax and force a small smile at him.

  "I wasn't sure what pizza toppings you like, so I made it half pepperoni and half sausage. Hopefully you aren't one of those girls that only eats plain cheese or something weird, like pineapple." He smirks at me.

  I grin at him. "I'm a meat girl, for sure. Fruit on a pizza is just wrong. I'll take a slice of the sausage." I need to stay positive. I have no idea what Cal's relationship with Chris is. I could be blowing it way out of proportion. Maybe Cal has that picture up because of some of the other friends in the picture. I need to at least let him give me an explanation. Only, how do I bring it up without him knowing I was snooping?

  Cal slides a piece of sausage pizza on my plate and it looks amazing. "Can I refill your wine, Lake?" He grabs the bottle of red and fills my glass after I nod to him.

  "This looks great. Thanks for making dinner for us." I use my fork to cut off a piece of the pizza and place the first bite in my mouth, hoping that sick feeling in my stomach will go away. Thankfully, I'm able to eat it despite the unease I still feel at my discovery.

  "You're welcome. I love to cook. My mom taught me and my brother. I was always more into it than he was." Cal is using his fork to eat the pizza as well. I wonder if he always does that or if he's trying to be polite for my benefit.

  I look down at my plate, readying my fork to cut another piece. I freeze up. I can't play it off. I've never been someone who can put on a front when something is bothering me. I need to know if Cal is friends with the bastard that raped me. I come up with a way to bring it up subtly.

  "Where did you go to college?" I ask casually as I take a sip of my wine.

  He tells me about the local state college he attended. Of course I already know this because that's where Chris went, too.

  "Were you one of those crazy frat guys?" I ask innocently.

  He chuckles a little. "I don't know about crazy, but yes, I was in a fraternity." He takes another bite of his pizza.

  "Are you still friends with the guys from your fraternity?" I stab my fork into an innocent piece of lettuce before bringing it to my lips.

  He narrows his eyebrows at me a little, perhaps unsure of where my questions are headed. "A few of them, yes. Most of them moved out of state when we graduated though. Why do you ask, Lake?" He sets his fork down and focuses on me.

  Shoot, now I really don't know what to say. "I was just curious. Was Matt in your fraternity?" I already know the answer to this because Matt is six years younger than Cal.

  "No, Matt is younger than me. I met him through my brother. Is there something you want to know, Lake? I mean, I'm fine answering these questions, but it seems like you want to know something specific." He reaches over to grab my hand and brushes his thumb over my knuckles. "You can ask me anything."

  I feel a flush creep across my chest and neck and I don't know what to say. I'm filled with anxiety, but also the need to know the truth. He may not tell me what I want to hear, but I need to know.

  "I'm sorry, Cal. I walked into your office when I was looking for the bathroom, and I may have looked around a bit." I stare down at my plate, not wanting to meet his eyes.

  "Look at me." His eyes are kind and his lips are pulled up at one side. "It's okay, I don't mind you checking out my stuff."

  I take a deep breath before I speak again. "I saw a picture of you with your frat brothers." I keep my eyes on his and he doesn't flinch at my comment. Of course he still has no idea because I never told him the name of the man that raped me. "I was looking for you in the picture and I saw..." My voice catches in my throat and I feel like I'm going to start sobbing.

  "You saw what, baby?" He's looking at me, clearly worried by the situation.

  "I saw...the man who raped me. And he had his arm around you." Cal's thumb stops rubbing my knuckle. His eyes fall to his plate.

  My heart pounds as I ask the question I'm afraid I already know the answer to.

  "Are you friends with Chris Edwards?"

  He still doesn't look at me. His answer comes out in a low whisper. "Yes."

  Chapter 11

  My heart drops right down into my stomach in that instant.

  He brings his eyes to mine and they're full of pain. "We were friends, but I haven't seen him in ten years."

  I feel a bit of relief at that information, but I still have this uneasy feeling. My mind is filled with a dozen questions and I can't even filter out what to say to him. I need to get away. I need time to process this. I need to get away, now.

  I stand up from my chair and drop my napkin on the table.

  "What are you doing?" Cal looks at me with a frightened expression on his face.

  "I need to leave. I...I...I'm not even sure what to say right now." I walk away from the table and head towards the door. Cal follows me and gently grabs my arm to turn me around to face him.

  "Please, Lake. Don't leave. We need to talk about this." His voice is pleading with me.

  I tear my arm from his grip. "No. I don't want to talk about this now." I turn to reach for my coat and purse. "I need time to think." I grab the doorknob and pull it open, taking one last look at a man who looks desolate. I don't look back, even when I hear him following behind me, calling my name. I make it all the way to my car before bursting into tears.

  Why is this happening to me? I thought I had finally found a man who I could trust and he turns out to be a friend of the asshole that ruined me. They were friends, they had to have things in common. What if one of those things was taking advantage of the woman they claim to love? Get a woman to trust you and love you before transforming into the evil person you really are?

  I realize I'm being unfair. Just because they were friends in college doesn't mean they are anything alike. Add the fact that Cal said they hadn't seen each other in ten years. I am being ridiculously unfair. I didn't even let Cal talk to me about it.

  It may be unfair, but the thought of him being friends with Chris just makes me feel sick inside. I spent a lot of time trying to forget what Chris did to me. A lot of time trying to block out that terrible memory, and now it's back all over again, fresh in my mind. Only now I'm thinking about other things Chris may have done. What if I wasn't the first woman he raped? What if he did it to a girl in college? What if Cal... No, I can't even consider that. I haven't known Cal long, but I know that he would never rape a woman.

  I start my car and drive away without looking behind me, even though I know he's standing there, watching me as I go.

  *****

  When Thursday arrives, I'm feeling a bit better. Mostly because I'm excited about my interview for Indy Magazine. I'm proud to show off my business. I asked Anna Foster to meet me at the office so I can show her around and give her an idea of how the business is run. Then I plan on taking her with me to meet one of my clients at a cake tasting so she can see some of what we do out of the office.

  I'm in my office preparing for my meeting when Brynna knocks on the open door and walks in with a bouquet of stargazer lilies mixed with white roses and baby's breath. "Ano
ther delivery, Lake." She looks a little irritated, and perhaps a little jealous? She wouldn't be jealous if she knew why he was sending me flowers.

  I received a similar bouquet the day before with a note simply saying, 'I'm sorry'. I haven't called him since I left his place Tuesday night. I still don't know what to say to him.

  "Thanks Brynna. Has Anna arrived yet?" I take the flowers from her and set them on the side of my desk.

  "Not yet. Should I send her in when she arrives?"

  "Yes, thank you."

  Brynna turns and walks out as I'm grabbing for the card in the flowers:

  Lake,

  Please talk to me. I'm going crazy waiting

  to hear from you. I miss you.

  C xo

  I drop the card down on my desk. I still have that sick feeling in my stomach when I think about him and Chris hanging out, drinking and partying at their frat house. Were they each other's wingmen for picking up chicks? Did Cal help Chris get a chick and take advantage of her? And if he did, did Cal know what was happening? Too many questions flood my mind lately. I am always thinking the absolute worst. I know I need to talk to him. I'm never going to feel better about the situation until I can get some answers.

  I muster up some courage and pick up my phone to type a quick text.

  Meet me tomorrow morning @8? Starbucks next to your studio?

  His response is immediate, like his phone was in his hand, waiting for me.

  I look forward to it.

  I figure meeting him in a public place will make it easier to ask the questions I need answers to without getting distracted by him. My body would betray me if I gave it the chance.

  A well-dressed woman with wavy, jet black hair that falls down almost to her stomach walks through my door. She's wearing a tight-fitting jacket over a black pencil skirt with black stilettos. She has beautiful tan skin without a blemish anywhere on her face. Her full lips are wearing blood red lipstick, and her obviously fake lashes are coated with thick, black mascara.