Elf Killers

by Phipps, Carol Marrs

  Olloo opened his eyes to find a fiery-eyed old woman tramping forth, planting arrow after arrow into his troll as she came. The troll sat down in the dirt for a moment before Baase returned in a fury to break his neck. Baase paused to study Olloo with one eye before wheeling aside and springing onto another troll-brute.

  Vorona rushed to Olloo's side. Kieran was there in the next moment, helping her to get Olloo back into the mews with Baase and Yeearree guarding them. When they had gotten Olloo laid out in front of Baase's pen, Vorona sent Kieran in search of Doona.

  "You don't have to stay here with me," said Olloo as he squirmed to reposition himself. "But I sure am grateful you saved my life."

  "You just hush!" she said with red wrinkly eyes as she patted him on the cheek. "Nobody's going to hurt my young men if I have any say. Besides, you need someone to watch over you with a better attitude than that bird. Where'd it come from?"

  "Yea. We do need to stay out of there. It's Baase's new hen and she's fresh out of the wild. Anyway, thanks for staying..."

  "Would you quit thanking me? If I'm in here with you, I get to have a break from using up my arrows."

  "I reckon it's the only way we can keep our Queen from risking her life in battle."

  "Now look 'ee here," she said, throwing her head back with a laugh. "Don't you dare accuse me of fighting. I'm just a-keeping the trash out of my yard."

  "Well," said Doona, squinting at Olloo as she stepped through the straw. "It looks like Kieran stretched things a bit."

  "I'd allow he did not, dear," said Vorona, looking up with a squint of her own. "Your brother's a valiant young man. You need to be proud of him."

  "But with all respect, my Queen, no one in this world is prouder of him than I. He's the only reason why we shall survive these beasts."

  "Then it's time to get to healing him, dear," she said with a fierce forehead of wrinkles. "I can't do without him." She gave Doona a sound hug and a pat on the back and picked up her bow before nodding at Olloo and stepping out into the night.

  "Well, I've got my orders so I'd best get you put back together," said Doona. "What happened to you, anyway?"

  "Is Roseen all right?"

  "She's fine. Caggey's really been tearing up trolls. Now what happened to you?"

  Olloo told his tale, wincing at this and that as Doona began her healing magic. Impatient with being ignored, Baase hopped over the gate of his pen to settle down between Olloo and his hen with a smug snap of each wing. The sounds of battle were finally dying away, and by the time Doona had done everything she could for Olloo and had set out to find Oisin, the trolls were gone, leaving the Elves to care for the injured and mourn the dead.

  Olloo carefully found a better position in the straw as he reached through the gate to Baase's stall. "She's a beautiful bird, Baase," he said, running his fingers through his feathers. "What's her name?"

  Baase replied with a blank look.

  "Oh, of course. You have no way under the sun of giving me pictures of that. Well then, I think Smorigagh fits. What do you say?"

  Smorigagh bristled her feathers and leant toward him with a pop of her beak. Baase turned to her at once and began preening her, as if gradually coaxing her feathers to lie flat.

  Olloo closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, thinking about Roseen.

  Chapter 21

  "Nyrrey-i!" barked Fnanar, pointing at the ground where the big bluestem grass was particularly tall. "Ad-pyr-fnnyr-nirr-fnyr. Nyr, nyr du-yuy nyr! Nt-nrof nyr-di-nyrr-darr snyr-fu-ynip-ry-oy-ay-i." Three trolls began at once tramping the dewy grass flat in time for Martyn, Donachan and poor little Lulach to be thrown down sprawling upon it. Lulach sat up, shuddering with sobs.

  "They'll save us sweetheart," said Donachan, unable to reach out to her with his bound hands. "You'll see..."

  "Ya-fn fynf!" roared a brute, bowling him onto his side with a vicious kick.

  Fnanar glared at his captives with his fists planted on his hips and turned aside to wave his arms and berate his brutes in his completely unintelligible speech. "Stiff-wobble and stiff-wobble and little sow-kid!" he shouted. "Some juicy-champ! No-be more grab-up-squeakers?" He folded his arms as he looked from brute to brute.

  There was no answer. They knew well his rages and tirades.

  "Well, what sow jump-grabbed these grab-up-squeakers?"

  Still no answer. He looked from face to face, making them look at their feet. "No-brute jump-grab? Then no-be any-brute juicy-champ these-squeakers. I will juicy-champ grab-up-squeaker, grab-up-squeaker, grab-up-squeaker."

  There were hints of mutters scattered about in the grass.

  "You diggy-finger your noses at Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne. You no jump-grab and you want juicy-champ? If this be your chest-thump head-nod, then you can humpy-doodle off and crawl-back to the Sow-clan. I juicy-champ only-with Dyrney-brutes."

  "Uh..." said Gnydy-af, shifting from side to side as he looked at his feet, "if-be little-bit jump-bite, then little-bit juicy-champ?"

  "You little-bit jump-bite? Maybe you no humpy-doodle-back to Sow-clan, but you no get juicy-champ! You no juicy-champ grab-up-squeaker for moon-go-round, moon-go-round. You stay-here with grab-up-squeakers, or we juicy-champ you. We easy-sneak back to grab-up-squeaker grass-holes and bloody-rip jump-bite head-smash. They no head-nod we come-back. They no-be ready with far-eye and fly-out-bites. Now Dyrney-brutes jump-bite grab-up-squeakers, grab-up-squeakers, grab-up-squeakers, grab-up-squeakers. We-go now!"

  "But Thunder-man,” said Phnyr-phaf, “how will we see in the sun all eye-burn? And the gut-rip-birds..."

  "I-see you-be sow, Phnyr-phaf!" said Fnanar as he grabbed Phnyr-phaf by the cheeks and squeezed. "You want head-smash?"

  Phnyr-phaf shook his bushy head.

  "Then you-be here with Gnydy-af when we get-back."

  "There you are," said Oisin, standing up with the teapot at the sight of Doona stepping inside. "I guessed right. Here's a nice hot cup o' blue tea."

  "Just set it down," she said, trading kisses with him. "I'll be right there. Just let me put away these things."

  "What's wrong? Olloo's all right, isn't he?"

  "Oh, he's just Olloo..." she said as she stepped out the door with a dish of barley for the geese. She came back in and took a seat at her cup. "He took a good blow behind the ear and his shoulder is unbelievably bruised, but I don't think anything's broken. He'll be good as new if he takes it easy for a few days."

  "Olloo taking it easy for a few days?"

  "I've got Kieran watching him. If Olloo lifts one finger beyond taking care of Baase and his new hen, he'll come and tell me. But Oisin, Olloo's not the problem. I can't find Onner anywhere at all. She guarded me all through the fight, right up to when I tended to Olloo, but I haven't seen her since. Surely nothing's happened to her. Nobody's found her dead. I had her penned up before the trolls came and everything. I never dreamed that she'd use this as a chance to run off."

  Oisin reached across the board and took up her hand. "Did you get a peek at Baase's new hen?"

  "She's beautiful."

  "Well? Onner will probably bring back a splendid mate, too, wouldn't you say?"

  "But I miss her, already..." she said, suddenly looking up at the trumpeting of her geese.

  "Sorry I didn't knock!" cried Kieran, throwing open the door. "The trolls are on their way back!"

  "You're not serious!" said Oisin.

  "Oh yes I am!" he said as he caught his breath between his words. "Alister went out to the rock. No one was even going to send him. He didn't even get up to the top before he saw them. And guess what. No one can find Martyn, Donachan or Lulach." And with that, he dashed out.

  "No!" said Doona, springing to her feet.

  "Get your bow and take my quiver so you'll have enough," said Oisin as he grabbed her for a fleeting hug. "Let's get to the mews. If Onner's not there, go find Vorona. You and she can watch each other's back." They stepped outside and ran, hand in hand.

  They found Olloo, looking
very pale, already in charge of everything. He was darting about the mews, shouting orders and encouragements as if the previous battle had merely been a drill. Oisin let Marroo out of his pen and was the first austringa to be outside with his bird. When the first three trolls came hooting and running between the houses, Oisin stepped into their path and cleaved a head while Marroo slashed open the fronts of the other two.

  Baase was there at once, taking down the very next troll to arrive. Olloo looked pained and perilously slow with the first few swings of his claymore, but Baase was keenly alert and quick to finish his kills. Baase flashed him a picture of Brenden cornered against a wall without his sword. Olloo was racing to his aid the moment Yeearree landed on the front of the troll as Kieran took off the beast's arm with a loud metallic ping.

  "Whee-oo!" crowed Vorona as she and Doona toppled their sixth troll from her garden gate. "Got the bastard!" She nocked another arrow as Doona sent yet another brute to staggering about with an arrow in his neck.

  Fnanar bounced his club off the top of Jamys's head with a pop and drummed his chest, hooting, "Ooot-ooot! Ooot-ooot! Ooot-ooot!" as he dashed after his next Elf.

  "I've got to go see!" cried Doona.

  "You be careful, honey!" called Vorona as Doona sprinted away to where Jamys lay, beyond the well.

  Soon the pandemonium was falling silent. Oisin could see that the trolls had been escaping for some time, but that most of them lay slain throughout Baile Tuath. He began searching for injured Elves. "There's all kinds of room for both Elves and trolls," he said as he squatted to look at Jamys. "Why can't they be satisfied with that? Stinking Marfora Siofra!"

  "He's just plain dead, isn't he?" said Sigurd with a quaver to his voice as he jogged up and knelt.

  "I'm sorry, Sigurd," said Oisin as he stood up to see Vorona urgently hurrying over.

  She looked frail and wide-eyed in a way that went through him like a white-hot fire. "Oisin, have you seen Doona?"

  "No," he whispered.

  "She came this way some time ago and I lost track of her."

  "Oh no!" he murmured as he struggled to keep his legs from going out from under him. "No!" he cried as he ran hither and yon through Baile Tuath. "Doona! Doona!" He ran to the stables and saddled his Dulish unicorn with such frantic fingers that the poor beast was dancing with fright by the time he threw his leg over. Marroo saw him leave the houses at a pounding gallop and dashed after.

  "Everyone to the stables!" cried Olloo as Baase planted picture after picture in his head of Oisin's departure. After a brief eternity of banging gates, slapping leather and rattling buckles, the Elves raced across the common with hammering hooves, vanishing into the tall grass with their host of great white birds. At first they tried following the confusion of wallowed paths in the grass heading west, but it quickly became clear that the shawkyn spooghey knew exactly where to go. They fell to silence at once, standing in their saddles as their little unicorns thundered and jingled along with everything they had trying to keep up with the steely-eyed birds who were floating along with determined springy strides like giant white dusters.

  An elk sprang to its feet with a snort to race away and vanish. Grass whipped their cheeks and arms. The sun rose hot above the mountains which loomed ever closer. Had the trolls made it all the way there? Or had they overtaken the brutes without knowing it? There was nothing for it but to put their faith in the strike falcons.

  Fnanar tramped along quite winded from towing Doona as he led his surviving brutes through the thick grass, for even though she was in a state of shock from her ordeal and her wrists were mercilessly bound, she made quite a tiring load after some leagues. At last he stumbled across the spot where Gnydy-af and Phnyr-phaf held Martyn, Donachan and Lulach.

  "Doona!" shrieked Lulach as Phnyr-phaf clamped his meaty hand over her face. He held onto her until she lay still, snickering at his own cleverness.

  As Fnanar paused to catch his breath, Doona saw her moment and bolted.

  "Nyr-vyr-nirr-trad!" he roared, grabbing her by the hair with a vicious yank to throw her onto her back and pin her down by sitting on her and slapping her face from side to side.

  Gnydy-af strained to peer out over the Strah through the tops of the grass while Fnanar was busy with this. He stepped to one side and put his ear to the ground. His eyes went wide, and he trotted away further from Fnanar's hateful noise and planted his ear again. "Thunder-man!" he cried, pointing east as he sprang to his feet. "Spear-head-snort-whinnie-clops cloppety, cloppety, cloppety, cloppety!"

  "Run!" cried Fnanar as he picked up Doona and set her on her feet.

  "Grab-up-squeakers wobble-slow!" cried Gnydy-af.

  "Then hup, hup, hup humpy-doodle!"

  "Look!" cried Kieran, pointing ahead. "There's Oisin! Hoy! Oisin!"

  "Oisin!" cried Alister.

  If Oisin heard, he was too intent on reaching Doona to respond. He stayed far ahead, standing in his saddle, scarcely visible through the grass.

  "Look yonder, Olloo!" cried Alister "Coming from 'way to the north, a strike falcon!"

  "Could that be Onner?" cried Kieran.

  Fnanar gave Doona a cruel shake and heaved her over his shoulder. She immediately smashed his mouth with her knee, setting him down hard as she fled into the grass.

  "Doona!" cried Oisin at the sight of her beautiful red hair bounding in the sunlight.

  Fnanar grabbed up his club and ran after her in furious pursuit.

  "Doona! Doona!" cried Oisin at the sight of Fnanar's club coming down, over and over. "No! Fates! No!"

  With stinging fury, Onner ripped open Fnanar's face. Fnanar swung out with his club in blind panic. Onner ripped open his front.

  "Doona! Doona!" wailed Oisin, scooping her up to find her gone. He laid her down gently. "You filth!" he screamed as he sprang to his feet with his claymore. "You son of a bitch! You Marooderyn Imshee!" With a ping, Fnanar's head rolled away into the grass. Marroo hit Gnydy-af, knocking him onto his hands and knees.

  Onner ripped out a length of intestine as Fnanar's corpse hit the ground. She wheeled aside and sprang, knocking down Phnyr-phaf who cried out and let Lulach tumble away into the grass.

  Oisin ploughed into the wide-eyed trolls with sobs of rage and despair as he cleaved and slashed.

  "No! No! Doona!" cried Olloo as the austringas thundered into the trolls with their slashing shawkyn spooghey to spring from their mounts, swinging their blades.

  Martyn and Donachan soon found themselves swinging troll clubs.

  Fnana-fnyr stood on a rock in a thicket of fringed maidenhairs and crab apples, staring out over the Strah from under his hand. Chats and towhees called.

  "It be big big head-nod, Thunder-man," said Ni-oow-fn. "Runaway grab-up-squeakers do-do have gut-rip-birds, gut-rip-birds."

  "Yea?"

  "Should-we help Fnanar?"

  "Bite your flabber-tongue, mudful hollow-head!" snapped Fnana-fnyr. "If hollow-head cluck-meats can bloody-rip head-smash Fnanar, then we no-have to."

  Ni-oow-fn hung his head and stepped off the rock to hide in the shade with the other brutes. Jays scolded overhead. Dyr-jiny stroked the hairs of his chinless jaw, knitted his beetle-brow and climbed up onto the rock to amble over to Fnana-fnyr as if he were testing his weight on new ice. "Aye Thunder-man?" he said quietly, shading his eyes as he looked out over the grass. "Red-facing him might be tumble-down, head-nod? Ni-oow-fn be your big big tag-behind nod-nod. Too-much thunder could-might be big big tumble-down."

  "Yea? 'Help Fnanar' be-same as-be rotten butt in my-face..."

  "Thunder-man! Looky-look!" cried Dyr-jiny at the sight of a host of strike falcons coming straight for them.

  Fnana-fnyr leaped from the rock and ran crashing into the brush. Dyr-jiny broke free of his paralysis and followed. As the brutes scattered, stumbling and dashing away, the white birds arrived to run them down, leaping and slashing.

  Oisin was on his feet, thrusting and swinging, felling troll after troll until the woods grew
silent. "Doona!" he sobbed as he ran and leaped astride his little Dulish and pounded away through the leaves, out into the sunlight. "Doona!"

  Martyn and Donachan stood up with Lulach from their vigil at her side as he came. When the others arrived they found him lying with her in his arms, murmuring her name as Onner and Marroo sat on their keels on each side of him hissing and popping their beaks to keep them away. After a respectful time of silence, as the meadowlarks sang in the waving grass, Olloo threw his leg over his unicorn and they all rode home.

  One evening, nearly a millennium later on the longest day of the year, Olloo rode out across the Strah with Baase. Near the woods, he looked down to see a bunch of flowers nodding their heads in the breeze. "Doona's rose," he said. When he dismounted, he realized that this was the very spot where she fell. As a tear streaked to the bristles of his chin, he looked up to see Doona and Oisin traipsing hand in hand along the edge of the woods followed by two great white birds.

  GLOSSARY

  adpyrfn (trollish) - meat

  Adpyrfn nyrnirrfnyr! (trollish) - Watch the meat!

  aooifn-ntnruyuyfyuyuy - see baby-out root

  arrdsey (trollish) - first

  Arrdseyphnyrpheyfne (trollish) - First-father

  baase (Gwaelic Elven) - death

  biskee (Manx) (Gwaelic Elven) - biscuit

  bodhran (Jutish Elven and Old Gwaelic Elven) - an open backed, shallow drum with a

  16"-18" head, played with a short double-headed stick

  brat (Jutish Elven and Old Gwaelic Elven) - cloak or mantle

  bruchtadh (Jutish Elven and Old Gwaelic Elven) - eruption

  cac (Jutish Elven and Old Gwaelic Elven) - shit

  Caith aon... caith dha...

  Caith tri... ceithre...

  Ursula aici buachaill...

  Duine i ndiaidh an duine eile. (Jutish Elven) -

  Toss one... toss two

  Toss three... four

  Ursula has a boyfriend...

  One after the other.