by Miria Masdan
“A bunch of young adults with heightened emotions for the first time will prove to be interesting.” His voice is a matter of fact and dull. He is the perfect citizen. “Please promise me you’ll be able to control yourself, and stay away from anyone you don’t know. Keep with the interns.”
“I think I can manage,” I say. “You’re so strange.”
“I’m serious,” he looks at me and I feel uncomfortable. He’s never looked me in the eyes before. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I sense a touch of jealousy in his voice. I never thought of him, as anything other than a friend before, but evidently he has considered it. “I promise.”
“Good,” he seems satisfied with my answer and he looks away from me.
There are only a few more people in line in front of me, and I straighten myself up. I glide my hands over my hair, and I wrench as I hit a spot that hurts. I feel a bump, but I have no idea what happened. I ignore it and turn to face the girl’s hair in front of me. She’s next.
I hear them call her name, and I stand only feet from the stage. I hear them call out Education. She smiles. My mind is wandering. I’m thinking about Pam and her warnings this morning, then I think about Sean and then about Adam. Could they somehow be related or is it a coincidence?
I don’t hear them call my name, but I feel the nudge from Sean. He touched me. I walk out onto the stage and stand next to Adam. He smiles at me and winks.
“That’s odd? Why is he winking at me, in public? God I hope no one saw.”
I hear the first Proctor call out...Political and then the next call out Defense: Labor, Information, Technology, Medical, Agriculture, Community, Science, Business Transportation, and Education.
I feel the relief in my gut. I wanted Education last, and I got it but is it because of Adam or because I deserve it? My chances to end up with Education as an occupation were good. I’ve worked hard my whole life, which means it is considered my strong attribute. I’m happy but conflicted. I have more than enough education points to have scored into Education, Political or even Science or Technology, but I’ll never know if I deserve it.
I step off the stage and take my seat next to the girl. I hear them call out Sean. He takes the chance to look over at me. He has a confused look on his face.
The Proctors's voice calls out Labor. All the next components muddle together, but I do hear the last one called for him; it’s Science. He got what he wanted. I smile because he is looking at me. Adam is looking at me too. I look away. He must have seen me and Sean exchanging glances.
I look around the room. I am now considered an adult. I have passed out of the pre-occupation stage and have entered the internship stage. We are allowed to look at one another now. There are still restrictions, but we no longer have to walk around with our heads down.
Visitors fill the room: family, friends, and representatives from each component. I look around; I don’t see my family. It’s odd. There is a balcony filled with representatives for each component. I look up at them. I will be spending the next year with them. Maybe I will get to travel outside the territory. I smile, and then I realize my first two components are Political and Defense…two of the four components that allow for travel outside the territory.
Sean sits next to me. “We have Defense and Community together.”
I smile. “See, it won’t be so bad.” It feels nice to be able to hold my head high.
I bring my eyes towards him but am distracted by a man standing in the back corner of the forum. It’s a defense officer, and he is looking at me. A sinking feeling settles over me; I squirm in my chair. I look away, but I can still feel him looking at me. I look back. He glares at me. I wonder if he saw Adam, but surely no one would find it offensive. Soon, he and I will most likely be married.
I decide to stare back. He’s too far away for me to get a good look at him, but there’s something about him. A quick, but hard jab to my side draws my attention back to Sean.
“No,” he whispers.
He’s right. I look down at my lap and concentrate on my folded hands. I need to make it to the banquet and the heightening ceremony. Then I will finally be free, even if it’s only for one night.
I smile, and a muffled laugh escapes my lips.
Another jab in my side, but this time it’s harder.
I meet up with my friend Grace. She is smiling at me; she is always pleasant.
“Who were you looking at during the ceremony?”
“What?” I can feel my cheeks blush, “no one.”
“Liar,” She hugs me. It’s the first time that she has ever touched me. I’m not sure how I feel. “I saw him, that officer at the back of the forum. He was looking at you too.”
“I don’t know who he is,” I say, “but have you ever had that feeling that you know someone? Like you’ve met them before?”
“Maybe its fate,” she laughs. “Like one of those old stories we found in my grandmothers attic.”
“You promised never to mention those again,” I say, looking around. “They are not appropriate.”
“I know, but we have the chance tonight to live like that,” she says, “to find love.”
“In one night?” I laugh. “It’s more important to build a sound partnership.”
“And what about your plans with Adam?” she asks. “Isn’t that love?”
“No,” I say. “It’ll be a good partnership.”
“You need sex,” she says. “We need to find that officer. I bet he can take care of your issues.”
“That’s disgusting,” I say. “You have a problem.”
“Sex is a problem?” she smirks. “I think he might have a different view about that.”
“He wants to meet me,” I say.
“The officer?”
“No, Sean,” I say, “during the banquet.”
“He must have some feelings for you,” she says. “Are you going to go through with it? Maybe he’ll apply to be your partner. You two would be perfect.””
“I don’t know,” I say. “We’re friends, and I just don’t think…”
“But then you saw - him,” she says. “See it is meant to be. We have to find out who he is and then hunt him down. You’re going to kiss him tonight, maybe more.”
“He’s an officer,” I say. “He wouldn’t be interested in me. I’m nobody.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Emma
He’s sitting at the checkpoint at the entry of the banquet. I can see him, and faintly hear him instruct each intern to place their hand on the receptor and then he looks at the screen and waves them on. It’s the same thing over and over again.
He looks up, I don’t know why, but he does. Our eyes meet. I know him. A thousand images and thoughts rush into my mind. I gasp and stumble. I can’t control the memories. I feel nauseous. I close my eyes trying to slow down the images. I reach my hand out and find the desk. I grab a hold. The entire room feels like it is spinning out of control. It all ends just as fast as it came. I open my eyes. He is looking at me.
I stare at him. I don’t say anything. He is breathtaking. I think about the last few hours. I made it through the ceremony, and I saw him in the forum. But I didn’t remember him, or anything that happened to us. But now, it is all clear again. Adam’s device had reset me, and that terrifies me.
“Place your hand on the receptor.”
“What?” I stumble for words. “Oh, well…yes, I’m sorry.”
I reach down and attempt to move the receptor closer but instead I touch his hand. It’s warm and soft. I pull it away too quickly, knocking over a stack of papers.
“I’m so sorry.” I look around to see if anyone else saw it but I’m the last in line for now, and the intern before me is already in the banquet hall.
I kneel down on my hands and knees. I’m met with a pair of black boots, as I reach for a piece of paper. I hesitate but grab the sheet despite my better judgment. He’s standing on it.
“Excuse me,�
� I say.
He moves his foot. I want to look up, but I’ve already made a scene, and I don’t want to draw any attention to myself. I raise my eyes enough to see his pants. He’s wearing the Federation issued officer uniform: black boots, black pants, black shirt, and vest. But my gaze stops at his knee; he has a small tear, not enough to see skin and only noticeable by someone on their hands and knees.
I laugh. I can’t help myself. He seems so perfect, and yet he has this one tiny flaw.
“Is something funny?”
“I’m sorry,” I cover my mouth and muffle a snicker. I sit back on my heels and look up at him. He does not seem impressed. My hand is still over my mouth, covering my smile. I am losing my mind.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Excuse me?” He could turn me in. I'm foolish, but I don’t care. He doesn’t remember anything that happened to us this morning; which means he doesn’t remember our kiss, or the fact that I’m broken, or Adam. “Nothing, I just…it’s nothing.”
“Get up,” he says. He extends his hand to help me.
I look at it, but I don’t touch him. I may be foolish, but I am not willing to get banished. After this morning I know he’s loyal to the laws, and he’s not afraid to turn me in. I stand up and take a few steps back.
“You look worried.” He says. He is calm and emotionless.
“I saw you looking at me in the forum,” I say. “Do you know me?”
“No, but you couldn’t take your eyes off me during the ceremony,” he frowns. “Are you alright? Are you complacent?”
“What?” My head spins; it’s that fuzzy feeling that you get when you feel like you’ve already done something before. “I am.”
“You sound unsure,” he says.
“I’m sorry,” I can’t believe how stupid, I’m acting. He is memorizing. I consider taking him up on his offer, but then my better judgment takes over. If he thinks there’s something wrong with me, I won’t be able to go out for the heightening tonight. And I need to go and find him. I need to understand what is going on with me and him.
“Are you sure?” he says. “I can check your systems.”
“No,” I say too quickly. “I’m fine. It’s a big day and night.”
“Well then,” he sits back down, “have a good evening.”
I walk away, but before I enter the banquet hall, I turn around and look at him. Our eyes meet again. I stop. My lungs feel like they were slammed into my chest. I try to inhale, but I’m too weak.
Another officer enters the hallway. He is tall and broad, with dark hair, cut close and neat.
“Quinn,” the new officer says.
But he doesn’t respond. He is still staring at me. Our eyes lock again.
My entire body is weak: I can’t feel my knees. I reach for the door frame to steady myself. I can see him in my mind; memories flood my thoughts. I close my eyes and shake my head. I turn around and walk into the banquet hall. I look around the room. I find Sean and Grace. They are sitting at a table across the dance floor. I lean against the wall, right next to the door. I can’t move. I can hear him out in the hall.
“Calder?” The new officers voice, “bored?”
“No sir,” I hear his chair scrape across the floor. “I’m just waiting for the next intern.”
“Have you noticed anything unusual? There have been more unscheduled downloads and a couple of low energy spikes, nothing substantial but still worthy of investigation.”
I start to panic. What if he remembers and tells him all about me, or Adam? They could question me. I’ve heard rumors about what happens in investigations. They are brutal and most of the time, people don’t return. My breaths quicken, and I can feel the sweat start to trickle down my back. Then I think about Adam. If Quinn remembers, Adam will make sure he disappears. I need to calm myself down and gather all my strength to maintain protocol. I have to keep Quinn safe.
“Go to the surveillance room and help Smith; he’s going through the feeds, and I don’t trust him to catch anything.” The new officer’s voice is rough and cold. “We can’t leave anything to chance, not after the breach.”
I make my way through the crowded banquet hall, and out the back doors. They lead to the kitchen and mechanical areas. I’m about to turn the corner when I hear voices ahead. I stop and listen.
“Where are you going to tell her to meet you? The first voice was deep and firm.
“The balcony,” the second voice was higher pitched and unsteady.
“Good, I need to finish this,” the first man says. “We don’t have a lot of time and when we transfer, it needs to be perfect.”
Their voices fade, and I look around the corner. They’re gone. I head to the end of the hall, and there is a set of stairs. I look over the rail, and I see two shadows, but I can’t see anyone.
I continue to the surveillance room. The door is open. I walk with my back against the wall, and I move slow and quietly. I stop right before the door, and I listen.
“Smith,” he says. “You’re an ass.”
“You piss him off too?” A voice I haven’t heard before. He called him Smith.
“I guess so,” he says. “I fell asleep at the monitors.”
“Ouch,” Smith says. “I’m exhausted too.”
“I can’t even think straight,” he says. “I keep feeling like I forget something, and I can’t focus. Can you scan me?”
“Yeah,” Smith says. “It’ll take a minute.
“Max has been on edge since the breaches and the attacks,” he says. “His new unofficial policy is to punish first and maybe, just maybe ask questions later.
“That’s the second time they have mentioned breaches,” I think. “What are they talking about? I knew about last night, but others?”
“Yeah, well I woke up late for drill yesterday,” Smith says. “I’m surprised he didn’t throw me in the brig.”
“This is so messed up. It’s what we live for, but I never thought it would happen in our time,” he says, “but on a positive note, I did meet this girl.”
“Really,” Smith asks? “Is she an intern?”
“Yeah,” he says. “She’s odd.”
“Odd…who the Hell does he think he is?”
“She’s acting strange,” he says. “I think she might have something to do with the breaches and the energy spikes.”
“Your scan is normal,” Smith says.
“I couldn’t access my video, audio, or data log earlier,” he says.
“It could be the energy spikes,” Smith says. “They can interfere. So tell me about this girl?”
“She was not protocol during the ceremony,” he says.
“Hell, they’re all odd,” Smith says. “So calm and easy going; give me an Under girl any day. Now that’s what I like…no filter, just pure emotion.”
“Nice,” he says.
“What the Hell is an Under girl?”
“Can you bring up the cameras from earlier,” Smith says. “I want to check out what she’s been doing all day long.”
It’s quiet. I decide to peek inside the room. They are both looking at monitors, against the opposite wall. I try to squint and get a better look, but the monitors are too far away.
I lean back against the wall. I strain to think of how I could stop him from finding the images from earlier. I don’t have much time. I look around the corner again.
“Whatcha looking for,” Smith asks? “You keep looking at the same footage?”
“I, umm…do not want to miss anything.” His voice is strained, almost choked up “no need to piss him off anymore, right?”
“No doubt,” Smith laughs. “Hey, look at this.”
“That’s her,” he says.
“You touched her,” Smith says. “Did you tell him?”
“No, it was an accident and it was quick.” He says. “Besides, she didn’t mind.”
“Really, she liked it? Fuck man you could get into so much trouble.”
“No, I just thin
k she recognized it as an accident.” Now I sense annoyance in his voice. “It’s no big deal.”
“Is she anyone important?” Smith says. “She’s hot. Maybe you can show her the ropes tonight.”
“No,” His answer is quick and short. “She’s nothing special at all and she’s not my type.”
“Not his type?” I’m so confused. Adam reset him, but he’s acting differently than he did earlier. I remember the kiss, the way he touched me, and I’m certain I was his type as he had me pushed against the wall and his tongue in my mouth.
“That’s right,” Smith says. “She is gorgeous and pure and you like…what do you like?”
“Not her,” he says.
“Can I have her then?” Smith laughs. “Interns are always so eager, and willing on their first Heightening.”
“No,” he says. “Hey, when we join Defense they go through our memories and adjust them, right?”
“Yup,” Smith says, “why?”
“Do you ever wonder what they took away?” He asks. “What if it was something that you didn’t want to forget…like somebody?”
“I’ve never thought about it before,” Smith says. “I don’t feel any different. I don’t miss anything.”
“Sometimes I feel like something is missing,” He says, “like I forgot something important.”
I duck back into the hallway. I lean against the wall and close my eyes. He does remember something. I just have to get him alone, and I know I can jar his memories.
“Don’t live in the past,” I hear someone, smack, someone, “there’s too much happening to get distracted.”
“Ouch…you’re right,” he says. “I’m going to go check in with Max.”
“Okay,” Smith says, “I’ll see ya in a bit.”
He’s coming. I run down the hall and turn the corner away from the direction of the banquet hall. I decide to head back to the banquet by way of the back halls. I need to get back before he does, which means I need to run, without him hearing me.
I walk into the banquet; the same way that I left. I find Sean, Grace, and Mandy sitting at the same table that I saw them at earlier. I inhale slowly to calm my breathing and wipe my brow before I walk over to them. I sit down, and all eyes are on me.
