Distorted Love

by T. L Smith

  He picks up his shoes, hanging them in his hand as he looks to me. “My head... is fucked. I can’t, and shouldn’t be here.” My head hangs down. “I’m surrounded by dangerous people, Barbie. You should stay far away from me if you know what’s good for you. Livia is safer. She’s the safer option. Plus, she’s good to me.” I nod my head. “I shouldn’t have... I’m sorry.”

  “You’re sorry.” A manic laugh bubbles up from my throat. “Fuck off, Ryken.” My eyes are hard as I look up at him, tears threatening to leak out, but anger takes over. He stands there watching me. “Fuck off.”

  Ryken steps away and looks back once as he makes his way to where his car is out front of my trailer. I stand in the same spot waiting to hear the engine I know will rev and speed off before I make my way back.

  Stepping onto my steps, I turn to see his red car not far down the road. Stopped. Flipping him the bird, I walk inside, slamming the door shut and trying to breathe. Because as he ripped his lips from mine, he also took my breath with him.

  Fucking bastard.

  ROBERT’S BEEN TRYING to get me to go to a party all day. I managed to get out of it last night. Tonight, though, he’s at my door with his car keys in hand and a smile on his face. Shutting the door on him, he tries to push it back.

  “Nope, not happening.”

  “Come on, don’t be a bitch.”

  Letting the door go, he comes in despite my protests. All day Friday, after the kiss, I stayed in my bed unable to move. This is the first time I’ve moved from bed today. Trying to work out what happened on Friday, and why it happened, still confuses me and caused my depression to hit me head on. When I get overwhelmed or guilty, I get irrational and withdraw from everything. Unable to concentrate, I find staying in bed soothes my mind until I’m able to come back to real life again.

  “You look like shit.”

  Sitting on the couch with the sheet from my bed wrapped around me, he sits down next to me. “Livia asked me to come collect you.”

  Rolling my eyes, I pull the sheet up over my face, biting on it.

  “What did Livia do? Love herself a bit too much.”

  “Ryken kissed me.”

  Robert doesn’t say anything, making me pull the sheet away from my eyes so I can see his expression. His face is in shock, his mouth is hanging open, and there’s definitely wrinkles on his forehead. It’s the first time I’ve seen him speechless.

  “Speak Robert, you’re making me nervous.”

  He shakes his head, closing his mouth. “Um... he was with her last night. Aren’t they a thing?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “He came here from his mother’s funeral on Friday. It kind of just happened.”

  “So he left here after kissing you, got shit faced, and is now with your cousin Livia. Did I get that right?”

  “I’m a shitty person, go on, just say it.”

  “You love her, yet you like him. Which you should have damn-well told her.”

  “Do you think that would have stopped her?” I ask him, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

  He laughs. “No. Nothing stops Livia. That’s why she’ll be the best damn lawyer this town has ever seen.”

  He’s right. When she wants something she goes for it. That’s part of the reason I love her. She’s the most determined woman I know, and I adore that quality in her. But I’m also jealous of the way she is with guys.

  I get it now, I really do. That high. Do you get that from all the guys? Or was it just Ryken that made me lose my breath and train of thought, so he was the only person I thought about.

  “I’m an awful, awful girl.” As I pull the sheet back over my head, Robert laughs.

  “Okay awful girl, we won’t do the party, but can we please go out and get some food.”

  Nodding my head but not moving, Robert pulls the blanket away from my head. “I’ve heard things about him. I don’t think it’s a smart idea for you to get involved with him anyway.”

  Closing my eyes, I can still smell him, that intoxicating scent he left all over me.

  “Find someone who isn’t dangerous, Sass. Find someone who isn’t him.”

  Opening my eyes, I can see the seriousness in his eyes, feel it in his words.

  “If it were only that easy.” Pushing up, I stand, turning to go to my room to change. The clothes I wore from Friday are still on the floor from the lake.

  “It is. Ignore him. Maybe say yes to Stiles when he asks you again.”

  Stiles is popular, even Robert has a crush on him. He’s gorgeous and smart. But he doesn’t make my heart lose a beat the way Ryken does.

  “No more boy talk tonight.” Pulling on my skirt, Robert salutes me then offers me his hand. I pocket my cell, and he takes me out.

  But it doesn’t work.

  Because the minute I walk into the restaurant with Robert...

  He’s there, with her.

  Chapter 9

  Ryken

  Quinn is sitting opposite me, smirking as my father reads out the rules and obligations of the clubs for when I take over. His spiel is strong as he tells me to take charge, to not let anyone fuck me around and to be basically like him.

  Ruthless.

  Uncaring.

  A bastard.

  Because that’s who he is.

  Do I want to be like him? No.

  I want to have a heart. Not be like him and his lifeless heart that doesn’t even fucking beat.

  “Eventually you’ll take over what I do as well.”

  Quinn’s smirk drops. His forehead creases and his eyes squint together.

  “No.”

  My father doesn’t like that word. No one uses that word on him. He steps out of the room. I hear the click of a door then wait for him to reappear. Looking over to Quinn, his hands are in fists as they scrunch together hard.

  “He didn’t mean it. Anyway, I don’t want it.”

  Quinn knows better. He shakes his head telling me no. My father never changes his mind. Before I can say anything else, the door reopens and my father walks in with a girl attached to his side. She has her hands tied together and a look of absolute fear plastered on her face.

  “This is my work, this is my merchandise.” He pulls at her cuffs making her yelp. Not looking at her, I try only to look at him, while he waits for me to say something. To fight him on it. I’m too tired. I don’t want to. I buried my mother on Friday. The last thing I want to do is argue about trafficking women.

  “Quinn, take her to the basement. Ready for the buyers.” He pushes her forward like she is nothing more than a doll. Quinn catches her as he stands. Waiting as they walk out, I stand from my seat slamming my hands on his desk.

  “The clubs, that’s all I signed up for. You keep your dirty shit to yourself and Quinn... keep me the fuck out of it.”

  He laughs at me. “You’re already in it. Some of the girls I’ve sold were ones you introduced me to. You remember Rebecca, don’t you?”

  Rebecca went missing. She was in the same grade as me at my old school before I moved to come here to live with my father.

  “You took her?” I ask him. Shit! He must have done it when he came to offer me the club deal. I took it. It was the perfect opportunity.

  “Of course I did, and I’ll take whoever else I want. You’ll soon learn the ways, boy. You’ll soon learn what you have to do to become as rich and powerful as I am. You’ll crave it, son. Others want it. Look at Quinn... if I told him to kill you to have it, he’d do it without blinking. It’s power... power that you can hold in your hands.” He pushes his hand out making a fist then drops it. “I’m going to give you three years. Then you’ll be introduced. By that time you’ll understand the clubs and business in general. Then you’ll learn how a real business operates. Not the cover-ups I’ve developed to mask our trafficking business. That’s the business that will make you a man, give you the power and control you deserve, and you can take your rightful place by my side and eventually head it up.” He takes a seat behind his desk oppos
ite me, flicking his pen on his desk as he waits for me to speak.

  “Like father like son.”

  He nods his head. “Then your first born child, and so on. Don’t make emotional connections to others. It will ruin you. Marry. Have kids. By all means. Just don’t love them.”

  “You don’t love me?”

  “You...” Dad’s eyes skirt downward then back to me, “... I do.”

  “You didn’t love her?” I ask referring to my mother.

  “Once, I may have. At the beginning.”

  “You’re an asshole, you know that, right?”

  He nods his head at my words, and the first real smirk appears on his face. “Oh, I know. Soon you’ll be the same asshole I am.”

  Shaking my head, I stand from the seat. “I’ll never be like you.”

  He laughs, it’s fake. “You already are. You just don’t see it, yet.”

  Pushing the door open, I slam it behind me as Quinn stands outside watching me.

  “You going to start calling me boss now?”

  His lip curls in disgust. “Fuck no.”

  I shake my head, pushing past. Looking down toward the cellar, I notice the girl. She’s tied to the stairs with tape over her mouth, and a look of absolute terror in her eyes.

  I keep walking.

  Not turning back.

  Not doing anything to save the girl.

  Maybe I am as bad as him?

  And maybe he can see that in me.

  CANE’S DRIVING, I’VE been drinking not wanting to go anywhere.

  “You need to fucking eat, you haven’t eaten all fucking day. All you’ve done is hold onto that fucking bottle after being at your dad’s place. What happened, man?”

  Shaking my head, I drink some water that he’s just offered me and he takes away my bottle of bourbon. Fucker.

  “Honestly, you don’t want to fucking know.”

  “Cunt trap...” Cane whisper yells as he comes to a stop at the restaurant.

  It’s a fifties-style burger joint, and they make the best burgers in town. Looking up, I notice what he’s talking about, and before I can tell him to drive away, she’s knocking on the window and smiling brightly.

  “Too late to back out now. Cunt trap’s seen you.”

  I haven’t told him, Cane doesn’t know I fell into it. That I chose to be with Livia that night. She isn’t as bad as he thinks she is. Livia’s actually a decent human being when you take away people and her popularity.

  “Livia...” I push the door open and she smiles brightly at me.

  “I was wondering whether I would run into you. You coming later?”

  Shaking my head, I really look at her. Would she be someone Quinn would take? He met her, never mentioned it. Or was he hoping for something else?

  “No parties tonight?”

  Cane coughs loudly covering his mouth saying “cunt” as he walks past us. Her eyebrows scrunch together as she tries to work out what he’s saying, but it doesn’t faze her as she looks back to me.

  “What would you say if I was evil, Livia. If my family was evil.”

  She looks at me skeptically. “I would say, ‘what does it matter to me?’”

  Her response bothers me for some reason. More than it should. Was my mother the same way with my father?

  “What if it involved you in some way?”

  She puts a hand on her hip. “Well, I’m going to be a lawyer. So as long as you don’t mass murder people and leave behind evidence, I’m pretty sure I could make you a free man regardless. I’m going to be the best in my field.”

  “A lawyer?” I ask her. That surprises me. “I can actually see you doing that.”

  Livia’s shiny pink lips smile brighter. “I know, right.” She flicks her hair to the back of her neck, and I look to the restaurant. Cane’s already standing outside the restaurant waiting along with everyone else, including Stiles and Nate. They’re all waiting for us so they can go inside.

  “Shall we eat?” Livia asks.

  Nodding my head, I can still feel the alcohol running through my veins. I feel it in my stance, but I follow her inside anyway. Cane watches me, raising his eyebrows at Livia holding onto my hand. Nate looks then instantly looks the other way. Sitting down, she takes a seat, pushing it so she’s flush next to me.

  “You two a thing now?” Stiles asks. I’ve always liked him. Respected him. He’s one of the best football players we have. His games are interesting and usually well thought out making him one of the most stand-out players the coach has ever seen.

  Livia answers for me, not giving me any opportunity to. “Yes. Well, we’re sorting it out.” Her hand comes to lay on my shoulder.

  The doors of the restaurant open and we all turn around to look. Saskia walks in, laughing at something Robert says as he follows behind her. But the smile stops the instant she sees us. Her eyes skim over me to Livia who’s still holding onto me. Then around the table stopping on... I turn to see Stiles standing smiling at her. Robert nudges her then pulls her over to the counter.

  “Do it! Just go up and offer to buy her a fucking drink,” says Nate to Stiles.

  Everything in me wants to growl at him to sit his fucking ass back down and don’t listen to his mate. Instead, I don’t. I look to Cane who’s now watching me intently. He doesn’t know that I practically molested her and found it was near impossible to say no.

  “You have a thing for Tyler?” Cane asks, looking away from me to Stiles. He’s asking about Saskia. Her last name is Tyler, and most the guys call her that. To me, she’s Barbie. The best fucking kind of Barbie ever made—like one of those limited edition perfect dolls that come in a box never to be opened.

  “Have a thing?” Nate laughs. “He’s been in love with her for over a year now,” Nate says as Stiles walks away from the table in her direction.

  “Awww... I hope she likes him, too. I was worried about her,” Livia states.

  “Why?” I ask turning to face her.

  “She’s never really been interested in guys. I want her to be. I want her to find someone nice.” Livia’s eyes move to mine, her smile wide, and her eyes twinkle with mischief.

  Glancing over, my line of sight moves to Saskia, wanting to know what she does. She’s interested in guys, in particular, me. I could feel the way she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. It was pure fucking passion. Lust. Almost an addiction.

  “Invite her over to sit with us,” Cane suggests to Livia, who smiles, turning around and yelling across to Saskia.

  Saskia turns to look at us. So does Stiles and Robert who are with her. She picks up her shake, and Robert pulls her our way.

  Then I can smell her—she’s right fucking next to me.

  No one stands between us, she’s directly by my side, her cousin on my other. What a fucking sandwich to be in.

  Stiles walks over carrying a tray of food and pushes Cane to the side, so there’s room for her. I watch as she smiles at him then she sits next to Cane and takes her food but doesn’t eat. Robert stands watching her, guarding her like a brother.

  “Sass... Stiles wants a date.”

  My fists squeeze tight, so tight my nails dig into the skin of my palms. Those few words and all of a sudden the alcohol has completely worn off and disappeared from my system.

  Saskia’s face blushes bright red.

  “Stiles can ask her himself if he wants to date Saskia. He doesn’t need you to do it for him, Livia. You have your own dating issues to worry about, don’t you?” Robert fires back with a snarl looking between Livia and me. “You were only dating Nate just last week, right? Now it’s Ryken? Have I gotten lost along the way?”

  “Shut up, Robert.”

  That’s the best comeback she has. She can’t deny it. Because it’s true. Instead, she leans into me more as if I might be able to protect her. I won’t.

  “Usually, you have such big words. Today you fail.” Robert slides in pushing Saskia over, so she’s no longer next to me. Stiles leans in and whisper
s in her ear, making her smile.

  Cane kicks me under the table. Looking up, he shakes his head and nods to the door. Pulling up away from Livia, I stand. She drops her bottom lip into a pout then lets go of me.

  The minute we’re out of hearing distance and in a quiet corner Cane speaks. “You did something with her! Even when you know you shouldn’t have. Didn’t you?”

  At first, I think he’s talking about Livia. But he’s not, he’s speaking of Saskia.

  “I kissed her. She kissed me.”

  Cane shakes his head. “What the fuck are you doing? Quinn warned you. Do you want to be so stupid to put her in their path? That’s what you’ll do. You know that. You know if you get involved what will happen.”

  Looking over at her, her head is down, and she’s talking to Stiles, or listening, which one I can’t tell.

  “It’s impossible to stay away from something you want more than your next breath.”

  “You’ve only tasted her once. Don’t taste it again.” Pushing away, he walks back to our table. Turning around, I see them all sitting around, and I know I should leave.

  And I should do it now.

  Chapter 10

  Saskia

  I agreed to go out with him. I’m not sure how it happened, but I did. I’m officially going out with Stiles this weekend. And Livia hasn’t shut up about it. At. All.

  As school finishes, I ran out the doors to catch the first bus. It takes me into town with some of the money I’ve saved to buy myself a new outfit. Livia offered to take me so she could shop for an outfit for Ryken, but I shut that down the minute she said it, deciding to go on my own so I could choose what I wanted to wear.

  “The things I would do...”