Something about rolling down your windows, turning up the music, and taking the back roads around this town was soothing to my soul. I sang Miranda Lambert so loud I couldn’t even think about how much I missed Graham. For a second, with the wind blowing through my hair, it almost seemed like the weight of missing him all these years was gone too.
Going into the salon, I knew if I couldn’t get my mind right Kinsley would pick up on something being wrong. I still wasn’t ready to tell her about seeing him, even if I knew sooner or later it was going to happen.
Driving down the alley behind the salon, I pull into my parking spot and put it into park. I run my fingers through my messy strands. I should be thankful the messy, beachy waves is the style now. My windblown hair almost looks like this was intentional.
Sliding my purse over my shoulder, I swipe my lip gloss over my lips. On a normal day, I would run home and take a quick shower after working out in the yard but it’s a short day and I plan on having a night in tonight, so I didn’t bother.
“Hals, that you?” The door chimes as I enter through the side door, alerting her of my arrival.
“Yeah, Kins. It’s me.”
I make a beeline for the back room to drop off my purse, but I don’t even make it through the doorway when her head pops in behind me.
“You alright?”
I swear, there is no one on this earth who knows me better than Kinsley Hudson. She’s like my soul sister and I love her deeply, but today is one of those days I wish she couldn’t read me like a book.
“Of course,” I say, putting extra emphasis on my chipper tone hoping to throw her off.
I glance at her over my shoulder. Her hand is perched on the side of the door and her eyes narrow, looking at me. Her laser like stare burns holes into me, and I want to tell her to knock it off.
“You’re not fooling me. Try again. What happened?”
“Can we talk about it later? I’m not sure I am ready to talk about it yet.”
She pauses, as if she’s not sure if this is one of those moments where she should press further hoping she can get it out of me knowing talking about it will help make me feel better or if I truly need her to give me the time.
I don’t know one way or another myself because I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to talk about Graham being back in town and how I’m going to force myself to live my life like he’s not.
“I’ll give you some time because I think it’s what you need, but not too much. We’re going to talk before we leave tonight, alright? So, whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours, I’ll help you with it here in a bit.”
She doesn’t give me a chance to reply, as she spins on her heel and walks right back out. Who am I kidding though? If she wants to talk about it, we’re gonna talk about it. There’s no way around it.
Over the next couple of hours, I busy myself with my clients. I was happy because one of my friends from a few towns over, Ryan, stopped by. She’s the girlfriend of Graham’s friend, Maverick. I always love catching up with her. Her sassy and spunky personality is just what I needed to pull me out of my earlier mood.
We spent a couple of hours together, dying her hair and trimming it. While I hadn’t expected it, she asked me if I had a chance to see Graham recently, and I could once again feel Kinsley’s eyes staring at me as I nodded my head at Ryan in the mirror. She knew about the first time, seeing as she helped orchestrate it, but by how she’s looking at me now it’s obvious she knows it’s not the only time.
Ryan picks up on it being a subject I’d rather not talk about and doesn’t ask anything more, instead moves on to share how Mav has been working with Graham. I wasn’t the least bit surprised.
Maverick and Graham were as thick as thieves growing up. He lived a few towns over where Gage, Graham’s cousin, lived. Although they didn’t see each other often, I know how much their friendship meant to Graham. It’s how he met Dean, so I guess it only makes sense Maverick would be helping them get their company up and running.
By the time Ryan took off, I was worn down and ready to shower, put on my pj’s and watch a movie with a glass of wine. I was hoping Kinsley would see it and give me a break, but when she walked out of the back room a few minutes later I knew there was no chance.
“Sit, you look tired as hell.”
Well, at least she can still read me even if she isn’t going to cut me some slack.
“You saw Graham again? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s part of the reason why I didn’t want to talk earlier. I knew he was back, but I still don’t think I was ready to be around him. Just like I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it right now. It’s not like I can avoid him though. Arbor Creek is a small town, I’m bound to run into him at some point. I guess I just need to rip off the Band-Aid already.”
She nods her head and I can sense the sympathy. Walking toward me, she wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me into a hug.
“You know it’s going to get better, right?” she mumbles into my ear. “It’s not always going to feel like this. You’re so strong, Hals. You’ll be happy again.”
Tears prick my eyes as I blink through them, not wanting to let my emotions get to me. I don’t try to speak though, so I simply respond with a nod.
We stand like this for a minute and when I let out a heavy sigh, she finally releases me enough to step back to make sure I’m okay.
“I know I will. I just felt like seeing him was like reopening an old scar. I just need to stop thinking about the past, the what could’ve been. I need to stop touching the wound because there’s no way I’m going to heal if I don’t.”
Six
Graham – One Month Later
Shuffling through a stack of papers, I search for the one I need. I knew I should’ve hired an assistant when Dean brought up the question, but we didn’t need the extra expense right now.
Getting Compass Security up off the ground after returning home has not been easy, especially when my business partner, Dean, is working seven hours away in Chicago. Having an assistant would really come in handy right now.
I was up late last night with my mom. Her blood sugar dropped, I was worried to leave her unattended. I opted to sleep on my old twin mattress. It was my only option if I had any hope of getting a wink of sleep at all.
Two knocks sound on the door and I glance up to see Maverick, my best friend and associate, standing in front of me.
“Dude, you alright?” he asks.
I watch as he adjusts his position where he stands, leaning against the door frame, eyeing me as I shuffle through the papers strewn all over my desk.
I’m a mess. This office is a mess. Everything is a fucking mess.
“Yeah, if I could only find the fucking paper with the—ah! Here it is,” I sigh, falling back into my seat in relief.
Maverick and I have been friends since we were young. I grew up living in Arbor Creek, which is where I went to high school. When I wasn’t staying at home with my mom, I was likely in Everton staying with my aunt Samantha. Most of our time was spent down at the local skatepark with my cousin, Gage. It’s where I met Dean and Maverick.
“How is your mom doing?” Mav asks, crossing his arms in front of him.
“She didn’t get much sleep last night. I ran home to shower and change this morning, so I stopped by on my way into the office and she had fallen back asleep. I’m going to stop over again on lunch to check on her.”
“Well, if you need anything man, just let me know. You’ve been there for me a lot this past month,” Maverick says. “You tend to focus on everyone else around you, but you know I got your six.”
Maverick has had enough of his own shit to worry about without me burdening him with my problems. Serving his second tour in Afghanistan, he got a call his father had passed. He returned home early to take care of everything. Nothing could’ve prepared him for the shit he was leaving behind him. What they thought was the end of their tour ended with him
receiving a call informing him his team had been hit by a roadside bomb. He lost half his platoon.
The two of us combined have lost our fair share of people close to us. It’s a constant reminder to never take life for granted.
The sound of my phone rings and immediately thinking of my mom, I swipe it from where it sits on my desk. When I see the name, I know it’s important too.
“I’m gonna take this,” I say, motioning to Maverick.
Looking up at Maverick, he nods his head as I answer the call.
“G, I got some news for you.”
“What do ya know?”
“I got a call a few minutes ago. Krate was spotted outside of Brodie’s last weekend. I don’t know what it was about, my informant couldn’t say, but I know he was meeting with one of Hendrich’s guys.”
“Fuck!” I grunt. Hendrich is known for his sketchy past. Just last month he was in jail for drug related charges.
“I know, man. It’s only a matter of time though. He’ll fuck up and we’ll catch him.”
“Yeah, but how many other lives are at risk having that son of a bitch out on the streets. He deserves to be locked behind bars and to know he’s fucking around with Hendrich further proves so.”
“I hear ya, man. I’ll stay in touch with my contact and keep you in the loop if I hear anything else.”
Hanging up the phone, I yell for Maverick to come back in my office.
“What was that about?”
“Turns out Krate is back into some bullshit.”
I know Maverick understands the weight of what I’m saying. I was the one who put Gage there that night, but Krate is still responsible for his own actions.
“We will get him, G. It’ll happen.”
“I want you to keep on him for me. If you hear anything, let me know. I have to check on my mom, make sure she’s alright,” I say, picking up my baseball cap off the coat rack behind me.
“Oh, and do me a favor, do something about those papers on my fucking desk. Will ya?”
With the sound of his laugh behind me, I duck my head from the sun as I head out the door.
It’s after seven o’clock when I finally make it out of the office and home for the night. Running on six hours of sleep, the smart decision would be for me to go home and call it a night. Then, there’s the other side of me, the one thinking about the text about going to Brodie’s tonight that’s winning out. A group of my friends are going out tonight to celebrate Callum and Ellie’s engagement. Knowing Halle will be there and the thought of seeing Halle again is the reason why I head home to change out of my work clothes instead of putting on some gym shorts and a movie.
It’s been weeks since I’ve seen her, but the thought of her walking down the hall in nothing but her towel is not something that’s been far from my mind. It’s made it hard to fall asleep every night.
She’s done a good job of evading me around town, for the most part. I know she’s been by to see my mom a couple of times. I’ve noticed the yellow daisies sitting on the table, her favorite flower. When I went back last week, there were two cupcakes on a plate in the kitchen. My mom insisted she brought one by for the two of us.
It’s a quarter to nine when I pull up to Brodie’s. Parking out back, I walk in through the side door. I spot Mason and Callum standing near the bar, along with our friends, Brannon and Wes.
“Look who decided to finally come hang out with his friends!” Callum shouts over the loud music. His broad grin takes over his face. Happiness looks good on him.
I’m surprised when I don’t see any of the girls standing around them. I knew coming out tonight was going to put me right back to where we were in high school. My eyes survey the crowd at the bar tonight. It doesn’t take long before my eyes fall on the beautiful long blonde hair and sun-kissed skin I know belong to Halle. She’s standing next to Kinsley and Ellie, who I had a chance of meeting when I had to stop out at Callum’s place earlier this week to help install a security system.
It takes work, but I force my eyes away from her and back to Callum.
“What’s up, man? I guess I should officially congratulate you now.” I smile. It’s the first genuine smile I’ve felt in a while and I feel the weight of the bullshit going on ease a little bit.
“Thanks, brother. Who would’ve thought I’d be the first one to officially tie the knot?”
He’s right though, even if it’s hard to hear. I’m reminded again Halle’s not too far from me. Remorse is written all over Callum’s face, showing he hadn’t intended for it to come across like it had sounded.
Reaching out, I clap my hand on Callum’s back and congratulate him again. Even if the past keeps getting thrown back in front of me, I genuinely am happy for my friend.
“Well, look who it is!” Her loud cheerful voice booms from behind me. Stepping back from Callum, I turn to see Kinsley with her chocolate brown hair curled over her shoulder holding a shot of what appears to be whiskey in her hand.
I can feel Halle’s eyes on me. Our bodies have always been so in tune with one another. I do my best to not turn my head and look at her. The fear of not knowing what look I’ll find staring at me is what has me resisting.
Reaching my arms out, I pull Kinsley into a close hug.
“It’s good to see you again,” she murmurs in my ear, low enough for only me to hear over the crowd of people and music blaring through the speakers.
“It’s good to see you too. Oh, and just so you know, I’m getting you back for that little run-in you planned,” I quip. Outside of sending her a text message calling her a “little shit” I never did mention to her what her little surprise led to.
She barks out a loud laugh. “Yeah, I heard all about it. Consider myself punished.” She giggles.
“How’s she doing?” I ask. If there’s anyone who knows and understands the depth of what Halle meant to me, it’s Kinsley.
“Better now. She won’t say it, but I know she’s glad you’re home.”
“I missed you, Kins.”
“I missed you, too, you big lug. Don’t you think about leaving again either or I’ll be hauling ass out of this town and will drag you back here with me.”
She laughs. It’s light and joking, but I don’t doubt for a second if I were to try and leave again, she really would come after me.
Despite how hard it has been for me to be back, the desire to leave again isn’t there. I know Gage would’ve wanted me home.
“Alright, everyone,” Kinsley announces, with her hands cupped around her mouth. “I have an announcement to make.”
Stepping back, I let my eyes fall around the group again, but it doesn’t take long before they fall on Halle. The moment I look at her, I’m surprised when I find hers looking back at me as if she’s been waiting for the moment I give in and look at her.
The small smile that curves the edge of her lip draws my attention down to it, making it difficult to not interrupt the announcement and pull her close to me. I don’t though, because as much as I want her, I know I don’t deserve her after all the hurt I’ve caused.
Flashing her a wink, I turn my attention to Kinsley and the tray of shot glasses on the table.
“We are all here tonight to celebrate our good friends, Callum and Ellie, on their engagement. Ellie, we are all so happy you found your way to Arbor Creek, but there is no one here more thankful than Callum. We are so happy for you both and to be a part of the big day. When we decided to get together to plan your bachelor and bachelorette parties, we knew there was no way Callum would let you go far without him being close behind.” Kinsley laughs, looking over to where Callum stands, his arm wrapped around his fiancée’s waist as his nods his head in agreement.
He leans down, whispering something in her ear. Whatever he said must’ve been only for them to hear, earning him a playful smack on his chest.
“We figured why not plan a joint party, right where it all happened. Get ready to pack your bags, people. Wes is renting us an RV and we’ll
be hitting the road to Chicago.”
“Really?” Ellie smiles as tears fill her eyes, as she stares up at Callum. Everyone knows what Ellie went through before she ended up boarding a bus to move here to Arbor Creek. Something tells me with the emotion on Callum’s face, he’s thinking about their road trip here that changed everything for him.
Kinsley rushes over to her, passing between where my eyes remain locked on Halle. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her wrap her arms around Ellie’s shoulders. For the first time since I’ve returned home, I see the hurt in Halle’s eyes.
It takes me a second before I connect the dots, but not only are we going back to where Callum and Ellie first met, but we’re going to the place I took off to when I left Halle five years ago.
With her eyes on mine, she leans forward and snatches a shot of whiskey off the tray, as she raises it to me in cheers. Her eyebrow raises as the edge of her mouth covers up a sarcastic smile.
I hate the twist in my stomach, thinking about how much pain I caused her after I left. She tosses the shot back, slamming the glass down on the table. The burn stings her eyes, as the liquid lingers on her lips. Her tongue darts out, running along her lower lip, before she presses the back of her hand against her mouth.
The music surges through the speakers, drowning out everyone around us. The urge to close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her is strong. She must read my body language and the restraint I’m barely containing because she shakes her head no and it’s like a splash of ice water over my head.
Halle has never pushed me away, not when she’s hurting. Not even when there were times we were so heated from an argument, she’d never deny letting me hold her or touch her.
I can’t blame her. I don’t deserve her. I’ve pushed her away, left her here without any care to how ending us and taking off would hurt her. Watching her, she turns on her heel and takes off toward the bar. She makes it two steps before she disappears into the crowd.
Until I Found You: A Second Chance Standalone Romance (Heart's Compass Book 3) Page 4
