The Last First Time

by Andrea Bramhall

  Stella nodded. “Have you heard the update?”

  “Not heard anything since he was evacuated from the scene.”

  “The second eye had to be removed. The metal fragments were embedded so deep, they couldn’t extract them safely. The eye was beyond saving.”

  “Poor bastard. How’s he taken it?”

  “Not come around yet. His dad’s up there. I heard you ordered Chief Inspector Green to call him. Ballsy.”

  “Clare and I go back a long way.”

  “I heard that too. You okay?”

  Kate shrugged. “I’ve had better weeks. Same as you.”

  Stella perched on the edge of Kate’s bed. “You know where I am if you wanna talk.”

  Kate nodded.

  “And when your head’s right, we’re going out and getting well and truly rat-arsed.”

  Kate let her head rest back against the pillows. “Good plan.” She hoisted herself into a sitting position and swung her legs off the bed. “Gina’ll be here with Sammy in a minute. I want to get out of these bloodstained clothes so I don’t scare her.”

  “That kid saw a dead body with its face blown off. A few bloodstains aren’t going to scare her.”

  Kate inclined her head. “It’s a fair point you make, but still. I’d rather not add to the traumatisation of a minor if I can help it.” She waved her hand at Stella. “Pull me up.”

  “What did your last slave die of?” Stella asked as she gripped her hand and tugged Kate to her feet.

  “Insubordination.”

  Stella barked out a laugh. “At least the concussion’s improved your sense of humour.”

  “It was classic to begin with.” Kate pulled her jumper over her head, quickly followed by her T-shirt and jeans. Her underwear had survived stains, and her socks and boots…well, they were a necessity to getting home. The scrubs were clean, comfortable, and surprisingly warm for how thin they felt.

  “I’ve got a spare jumper you can use.” Stella handed one over. “It’ll be a bit big on you, but it’ll keep you warm till you get home at least.”

  “Are you escaping today?”

  “Yup. Thought I’d try and cadge a lift with you since you’re on a catch-and-release program.”

  “Funny.” She tugged the woollen jumper over her head. Stella was right, it was too big. Stella’s impressive bust required at least an extra two dress sizes to Kate’s more modest bosom. But warm was warm, and fashion was just a state of mind. Or some shit like that. “I think we could convince Gina to drive us both. You can always try a guilt trip on her if she looks like complaining. She dragged you to the sex shop explosion after all.”

  Stella grinned wickedly. “So she did.” She stroked her chin, looking like some kind of deranged Bond villain. “So she did.”

  The curtain was yanked back, and Timmons stared at them both. He frowned at Stella, shook his head, and gave Kate the up-and-down look of someone inspecting a specimen.

  “Glad you’re both here. Saves me an extra trip, or repeating myself.”

  “Sir? Wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Stella crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I told Miss Temple I’d be over shortly to check up on everyone.” He looked at Stella. “Glad you’re all right, Goodwin. I’ve been worried about you.”

  Stella raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

  He cleared his throat. “Right, I’ve had a word with your doctor, Brannon, and he’s told me you need a good week to recover from this.”

  “A week! Sir, he’s sending me home—” The look on Timmons’s face shut her up.

  “That’s right. A week. Head injuries in the line of duty are nothing to be messed with.” He leant forwards and spoke quietly. So quietly that Kate had to strain to hear him “Three days. That’s what he said. You need three days to recover. So take the three days, then I need you and Goodwin chasing something for me. Something major fucking important.”

  “Sir, I can’t…” He pushed a piece of paper and a mobile phone into her hand.

  “Play along,” he whispered. “I don’t know who’s listening.” He straightened up.

  She squinted at him, then nodded. “I can’t lie around for thre—for a week doing nothing while there a fucking terrorist out there blowing the world up!”

  “You will follow doctor’s orders, Brannon, or you’ll ride out this investigation behind a desk. Am I clear?”

  “Crystal,” she spat out through ground teeth.

  He grinned and gave her a thumbs up. “That was good work out there today. Your warning gave those boys a few seconds to move back, and saved lives.”

  “Not enough lives.”

  “It never is. But if you hadn’t thought it, hadn’t said it…well, I’ve little doubt the whole CTU team would be dead now.”

  “What’s the count?”

  “Five dead. Six still critical, and three of those in surgery. Fifteen injured, including Brown, Collier, and you. Jackson was the lucky bastard out there today. Just a few bumps and scrapes.”

  “What about Mallam?”

  “Unaccounted for.”

  “What?” Kate and Stella both said at the same time.

  “Missing. The site is being searched. Do you remember where he was before the explosion?”

  Kate tried to recall the scene. She remembered stepping back to the far wall so she could see the front of the street as well as get a view of the lock-up. She remembered the car and the officer running out with the optics kit bag. Vinny, Mel, and Gareth had been peering around the wall opposite her, watching the garages, watching the tactical team. Mallam had been behind them, leaning against the wall. Right in the spot that should have been out of the blast path, protected by the houses.

  “He was about ten feet along the wall from where Jackson, Brown, and Collier were stood, but he had his back flat to the wall. He wasn’t even looking at the CTU team. He was…” She closed her eyes and tried to picture exactly what he’d been doing. She’d only had a peripheral view of him, but he was doing something, looking at something in his hands. What was it…? Her eyes snapped open, and her jaw slackened.

  Timmons’s gaze bore into hers, silently begging her not to say what she now realised she’d seen. He tapped the phone he’d put in her hand and mouthed “later” to her. She nodded.

  “He was what?” Timmons then prompted.

  She licked her lips. “I’m not sure, sir. Everything’s a bit blurry.”

  “The doctor said to expect that. Concussion can be like that, Brannon. Not to worry. We’ll find him.”

  And then he was gone.

  Stella stared at her, hands held out in question, her face asking what the fuck?

  Kate didn’t know where to begin. One thing was for sure, things were not what they seemed, and she was definitely going to need these three days to get her head straight and figure out what was going on.

  She unfolded the piece of paper and held it out for Stella to read.

  My number’s programmed in the phone. Call me—and only me—when you get home.

  “The plot thickens,” Stella said.

  “You can say that again.”

  Stella opened her mouth.

  “Don’t.”

  “Well, don’t you two look cosy?” Gina stepped up to Kate and kissed her on the lips. Sammy grabbed hold of the railing at the side of the bed and rested her chin on top of it. She didn’t say a word. Stella ruffled Sammy’s hair.

  “You keeping your mum out of trouble?”

  Sammy shrugged. Her eyes hadn’t left Kate’s face.

  Kate did what came naturally to her. She took hold of Sammy’s hand and tugged her close, hoisted her onto the bed, and tucked her against her body, arms wrapped tight around her. She kissed the top of her head and whispered, “I’m okay, kiddo.” She held her hand out, little finger extended. “Pinky swear.”

  Sammy wrapped her little finger around Kate’s, then turned in her embrace, tucking her face into Kate’s neck and wrapping her arms ar
ound her as far as she could reach.

  Gina clasped her hands in front of her mouth as she watched them, her brow furrowed as she visibly fought to keep her own emotion in check.

  “I’m not crying.” Sammy’s voice was muffled against Kate’s neck, but she could feel how wet her skin was.

  “I know.” She stroked Sammy’s back, rubbing soothing circles until she was almost ready to fall asleep; the motion was hypnotic. Eventually Sammy pulled back and wiped her hands over her face and hair.

  “Can we go home yet?”

  “I’ve been ready for ages, kiddo. I was just waiting for you.”

  “I was waiting for you!” Sammy jumped off the bed. “Can we get something to eat? I’m starving.”

  Gina rolled her eyes. “What’s new?”

  “We’re near my favourite pizza place.” She wiggled her eyebrows comically.

  “No.”

  “But I need food, Mum. I’m wasting away!” She grabbed Kate’s hand as they made their way out of the hospital, waving at the nurse as they passed her.

  “Not pizza again. You’re going to end up looking like a pizza.”

  Sammy frowned as if she was trying to decide if that was a bad thing or not. Then she shrugged. “Okay, what about some nice, healthy chicken instead? KFC’s only—”

  “No junk food.”

  Sammy stopped mid-stride, tugging on Kate’s hand. “That’s abuse.”

  Kate urged her back into motion and across the road.

  “Tell her, Kate.”

  “No can do.” She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m just her girlfriend. She’s your mum…and you’re the kid.” She shrugged. “That makes her the boss.”

  Sammy scowled. “Bumholes.”

  “Sammy!” Gina squawked.

  Kate and Stella laughed loudly.

  Chapter 22

  Kate sat on the deep leather sofa, her feet tucked under her bottom, glass of water resting on the thick padded arm beside her, fingers wrapped loosely around it as she watched a tiny air bubble escape the bottom and rise to the top. She kept playing the last few seconds before the explosion over and over in her head.

  Stella was sipping her coffee and flicking through her phone while Gina put Sammy to bed.

  At least Kate’s headache had begun to subside. The phone Timmons had given her stared accusingly at her from next to her water glass. Was there any way she could have warned the team sooner? Could she have saved their lives? Would Gareth still be able to see?

  “Stop it.” Stella didn’t even look up from her phone.

  “What?”

  “I can hear the self-recrimination from here.”

  Kate laid her head back against the leather with a heavy sigh. “I can’t help it. I should have thought about it sooner. I should have said something to the team sooner.”

  “Kate, you’re a good detective, but you’re not a counterterrorism officer. They were. They spent months, years even, training as firearms officers, counterterrorism officers, specialists. They were the ones who should have thought about it sooner. Not you. They were trained to think like terrorists to try and stop the bastards.”

  “But—”

  “No, no buts.” She shut off her phone and gave Kate her full attention. “As soon as you thought of the possibility that those bombs could be detonated remotely, what did you do?”

  “Called it in.”

  “Did you think about it for a minute first? Worry you might look a dick if you were wrong before pulling your thumb out of your arse and doing the right thing?”

  “No.”

  “Then you did everything you could. More than anyone else there, and whether you realise it or not, you saved lives today, Kate.” She shook her head. “Trust me when I tell you that, right there, saving lives, is the very best you can hope for in a situation like this.” She leant forward, elbows braced on her knees. “Because you sure as shit can’t stop it.” She hung her head. “For the last couple of days, literally all I’ve thought about was whether or not I could have done something or said something that would have saved even one person before they pushed those buttons. But I didn’t. I didn’t shout at them to stop, I didn’t warn people who hadn’t seen it. I didn’t even try to talk to them. I just turned my back and tried to survive.”

  “That’s not true,” Gina said from the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. “You tried to get me out. You told me to go.”

  Stella laughed sardonically. “Didn’t even manage to get you out safely, did I?”

  “You still kept me safe.” Gina crossed the room and sat next to her, taking her hand in her own. “You saved my life.” She kissed her cheek and wrapped her arms around Stella’s shoulders. “You did everything you could.”

  Stella pulled away, waving her hand in the air like she was swatting a fly. “Ah, don’t listen to me waffling on. I don’t know anything.”

  “Bullshit.” Kate’s voice was quiet, tired, but steady. “You’re right, we both did everything we could in fucking awful situations. It was the best we could do, the most anyone would expect of us, but we both know it will never be enough. We can’t bring back those men and women who died. We can’t give those kids the lives they’ll never have. We can’t make Gareth see again. So you know what we’re going to do instead?”

  Stella and Gina both looked at her in silence.

  “We’re going to catch the fuckers who did it. And we’re going to show them that they will never, ever fucking win. They want to make us too scared to live the lives we have. Not going to happen. They want us to question everything, ourselves, what we believe in, who we love, absolutely everything. Well, I’m not going to let them. They’ve taken enough, Stella. I will not give them my fear or my self-confidence. And you better not either.” She pointed her finger at her. “Or you will have me to deal with.”

  A grin spread slowly over Stella’s lips, and she clapped her hands together in a steady beat of applause, gradually increasing it. “You should think about politics when you’ve wiped terrorism off the map.”

  Kate screwed up her nose. “No, ta. There’s enough politics in policing. I don’t think I could take any more.”

  The knock at the door made Kate jump. She looked at Gina and asked, “Expecting any one?”

  Gina shook her head. “I’ll go see who it is.” She pulled the door to the kitchen closed behind her.

  Kate knew it was to make sure their voices didn’t awaken Sammy or keep her awake. Not that much would wake her once she was asleep. Except maybe a bomb.

  I shouldn’t use that as a joke anymore. It’s loses all the humour when it’s a distinct possibility.

  “So, what do you think that was all about with the DI?” Stella asked quietly.

  “I wish I could say I don’t know, but I think it might have to do with our so-called ‘friendly’ spook Zain Mallam.”

  Stella rolled her hand for Kate to continue.

  “Timmons said he was unaccounted for, right?”

  Stella nodded.

  “Meaning?”

  “Probably dead, given there was an explosion.”

  Kate shook her head. “Mallam was stood in the most sheltered spot possible, given where the blast came from. He had the wall of the terraced houses at his back between him and the garage. He was too far away for shrapnel to have caught him, unless it can go around corners, and the wall was still standing, so no chance of him being buried underneath it.”

  “So unaccounted for means what?”

  Kate didn’t want to say it, because she didn’t want it to be true.

  “Missing? But why?”

  “Good question, Goodwin,” Timmons said from the doorway.

  “Sir?” Kate started to stand, but he waved her back down and sat down heavily next to Stella. “I thought you were going to call.”

  “Yeah, decided it was best discussed face-to-face. Didn’t expect you to start without me.”

  Stella smirked. “Don’t worry. We didn’t g
et very far. So, what’s the story with this guy?”

  Timmons scrubbed his hand over his face and raked his fingers through his hair. “Okay, so my gut was all hinky about this dude. His attitude in those meetings was just wrong. I get that there’s a lot of arse covering going on, but he was giving us nothing. Literally nothing. Then he walks out in front of you all and gives you the entire life story of Ishman Ayeshydi. The only other person who might have known that info was Porter, but if he did, he wasn’t giving us anything before that either.”

  Kate frowned. “Has the information been corroborated by any other source?”

  “You mean other than the diary leading us to a lock-up that then exploded?”

  “Fair point,” she conceded.

  He sighed. “So is yours, and to answer the question, no. Supposedly Porter’s trying to ‘find out more about Ayeshydi’, but I’m not holding my breath that he’s going to find us anything.”

  “Why?”

  “I think they’ve got a problem with their intelligence network and they don’t want anyone to know that.”

  “You think Mallam got lucky in what he gave us being borne out by the diary?”

  He shook his head. “Too coincidental.”

  “Then what are you saying, sir?”

  “Something that I can’t make sense of right now. Just…I don’t know…just keep an open mind, and look at everything with fresh eyes.”

  “We always do, sir.”

  “I know. Just… Grimshaw’s going to be sending you some stuff when he can. The rest of the diary and some other things he’s looking into. He wasn’t happy with Mallam either. Apparently, he’s finding sources I don’t want to know about or else I’d have to kill myself, never mind him.”

  Kate furrowed her brow. “Surely even Grimshaw isn’t mad enough to try and hack the security services.”

  “I’m sure he isn’t.” Timmons looked far from convinced.

  What was the saying? Plausible deniability? Yeah, they didn’t have that. “What do you suspect, sir?”

  He looked Kate in the eye. “Tell me what you saw. What was he doing before the explosion?”

  She swallowed. “He was standing in a safe area, not looking at the garage, or any of the team. He was looking at his phone. When I wondered about the remote detonation, he gave me this look.” She tried to mimic the look of grudging respect Mallam had directed at her. “Then he looked back at his phone again, and it exploded.”