What You See

by Ann Mullen

  Mom stopped what she was doing and walked over to the pie safe where she kept her purse. Grabbing it, she quietly said, “Let’s go.”

  I couldn’t believe how calm she was. She must’ve been in shock.

  Cole put his arm around Mom and we walked out the door. Athena was sitting on the porch. Her whine was heart-wrenching.

  Stifling a tear, Mom reached down and rubbed Athena’s head. “You stay here and take care of everything. Grandpa and I’ll be back soon.”

  I broke down. The agony was too much for me to handle. I cried all the way to the hospital, while Mom sat in the back seat of Cole’s Jeep, not saying a word. Her silence was eerie.

  The hospital ER was a madhouse. Nurses were running here and there, while doctors screamed orders to everyone in sight. Aides, assistants, and interns were busy helping other patients. Cole led us to the emergency room desk. The receptionist had her hands full.

  “Hello, Deputy James. May I help you?” the lady asked.

  It struck me odd that she knew Cole’s name. I thought it over for a second and figured they probably knew all the police officers. I was sure they’d seen every one of them at some point in time.

  “Yes,” he answered. “Do you have a listing for Mackenzie Aaron Watson, age 65? He was just brought into ER. His wife is here.”

  “Mackenzie Aaron Watson,” she repeated as she clicked on her computer. “Yes, he’s still in OR.” She motioned to one of the women behind the counter. “Miss Olson will take you to the OR waiting room. Dr. Bryant and his team are with him now. The doctor will be with you as soon as possible. We’re real busy.”

  This did not sound good. Dad was already in surgery and none of his family was here to sign papers. You always have to sign papers, don’t you?

  It seemed like an eternity, sitting around, waiting to hear about Dad. I cried as Mom paced the floor. She was too calm about all of this. What was wrong with her?

  As I was trying to figure this out, Billy walked into the room.

  “Oh, Billy,” I cried. “My dad had a heart attack!”

  “I know, I know.” He tried to comfort me. “Cole called me.”

  “He did?” I asked, looking at Cole.

  “Yes, he did. I’m here for you,” Billy said. He looked over at Mom and took her hands in his. “What can I do for you, Mrs. Watson?”

  “Please find out if my husband’s all right,” she cried.

  “I’ll see what I can do,” he said, and then left the room.

  When Billy walked back into the room with the doctor, I knew Dad had died. The look on his face said it all. Mack was gone.

  “Mrs. Watson,” Dr. Bryant said as he walked up to Mom, “I’m sorry, but we did everything we could. Mr. Watson had a heart condition, and his heart just gave out. I’m so sorry. We lost him.”

  “That’s not true!” I screamed. “My dad didn’t have a heart condition. He was healthy as a horse! Tell him, Mom.”

  She turned to me and calmly said, “Yes, he did, Jesse. Your dad had a family history of heart disease. We’ve known for a long time this could happen. He started having trouble about a year ago. Why do you think we left Newport News? Your dad needed some peace and quiet in his life. That’s why.”

  “No, this can’t be true. I would’ve known if something was wrong with Dad. There would’ve been signs.”

  While I was trying to come to terms with this startling discovery, Mom tried to comfort me. “Your dad decided a long time ago that this was something you kids didn’t need to know. Anyway, what could you all do about it, except worry? It was the way your dad wanted it.”

  My dad was sick, and I didn’t know a thing about it. I wished I had known. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have been such a worry to him. I could’ve tried to be better. I could’ve made him proud of me... if I just had a little more time.

  It was too late now. I had been to my father, all that I was ever going to be. All I had left were our memories, and the hope that one day I would do something to make him proud.

  Chapter 14

  Mom’s tears streamed down her face as she cried, “I want to see my husband. I want a chance to say good-bye.”

  I wanted to tell her I didn’t think that was such a good idea, but when I looked at her and saw the determination in her eyes, I knew this was something she had to do. And if she was going to do it, so was I. As much as I loved my father, I didn’t want my last memory of him to be on his deathbed in a hospital, but I couldn’t let Mom do this alone.

  Cole walked over to where we were standing. He edged in between us and put his arms around our shoulders. He kissed Mom on the cheek and said to the doctor, “I think that can be arranged, right doctor?”

  Dr. Bryant looked at Mom and me, searching for signs of stability. I’d seen that look a few times. He was wondering if we could handle the sight of death.

  “I’ll need to sign some papers first,” he replied. “Have a seat and I’ll have the nurse come take you in when I’m finished. It should only take about ten minutes.” The expression on his face turned from one of dread—having to tell someone the person they love had died—to one of comfort. “I’d like for you to talk with our trauma counselor while you’re waiting,” he suggested, looking from one of us to the other. “If it’s okay, I’ll send in Dr. Joyce Vince.” He quietly turned and left. As soon as Dr. Bryant walked out of the room, Dr. Vince walked in. They must do this so much; they had their procedure down pat. If a person dies, the doctor comes in and tells the family, while the counselor stands outside the room, ready to come in and pick up the pieces. This gives him enough time to go back and clean up the smell of death.

  The talk with Dr. Vince helped us gain a little more strength than we had when we first got the news. An hour later, Mom and I walked into a small alcove where Dad lay. He looked peaceful. He had been a big man in his day, but now the years had made him look smaller. Is that what death does to you?

  Billy missed his family gathering. He stayed at the hospital and took care of Dad. He handled everything, right down to the details of the funeral. He even made sure there was an obituary run in the local paper, as well as the newspaper in Newport News.

  Cole had the chore of taking us home from the hospital. I’m sure that must’ve been a nightmare for him. I cried all the way, and Mom sat in the back seat mumbling to herself. When we reached the house, both of us had gotten worse. Mom walked around in circles, talking to no one in particular. At first she was calm, and then she became this other person. She started talking loud and fast, her words running together. I sat on the couch crying. Athena lay in front of the fireplace, stretched out with her front paws over her eyes, howling a sad cry.

  This went on for most of the night. Mom ranted and raved, while I cried my face into a limp, two-month old, dried-up pumpkin. Claire would be here in a couple of hours, and Jack was flying in from Fairfax. He had been in court when Billy tried to reach him. He would arrive at the Charlottesville Airport at 3:45 A.M. Robert Blackhawk was going to meet him, and bring him home to us.

  For the next few days everything was kind of a blur. Claire and her jerk husband, Carl, had arrived safely, and Jack was here when I woke up the next day. By the time of the funeral, we’d all been exhausted by the grief we shared. Cole and Billy kept us all together... kept us from falling apart... a difficult task for anybody to handle.

  Dad had a proper military burial in Arlington Cemetery. I wanted him buried in the Stanardsville Cemetery on the other side of town, so he would be close to us, but Mom insisted he be laid to rest in a place of honor. He had earned it.

  The trip to the cemetery was long and exhausting. The funeral was overwhelming. When they played Taps, it brought tears to my eyes, but when they handed Mom the folded flag, it broke my heart. I was surprised we all managed to endure the pain, but we did.

  Several days after Dad’s funeral, once everybody had gone home, Mom and I tried to put our lives back together. I silently swore to my father that I would take care of Mo
m, but the truth is, she was taking care of me. She talked about Dad and all the wonderful times we had shared. She said we should hold onto those thoughts, and put aside the unpleasant ones.

  I don’t think I’ll ever look at Memorial Day in the same light again. It would hold only sad memories for me... for a long time to come.

  Dad had been buried a week. During that time, Mom and I spent hours upon hours, crying and reminiscing. We got out every bit of pain, agony, and energy we had in us. Cole and Billy came by with food, and give us as much support as possible. They helped when they could, and stayed away when they thought they should.

  Wednesday morning around ten o’clock, Billy stopped by. Even though Dad had been dead for ten days, Mom and I still couldn’t get our act together. I was beginning to wonder if we ever would.

  I’m sure Billy knew we were having a hard time, so that’s why he came over and insisted I go back to work.

  “I don’t know, Billy,” I said. “I’m scared to leave Mom alone so soon. What will she do all day by herself? It’s ten o’clock, and she’s still in bed. That’s not like her.”

  “Of course, it’s not. Her husband died,” he replied. “It’s going to be a long time before she’ll even want to go out of the house.” He looked around the living room. “This place is a mess.” He walked into the kitchen and started going through the cabinets. “Where’s the can of coffee? You look like you could use some. Show me where it is, and I’ll fix a pot.”

  I searched the cabinets until I found the coffee. I didn’t tell Billy that I’d just gotten out of bed, when he rang the doorbell. Here I was worried about Mom still being in bed, yet I’d just gotten up myself.

  “I know you’re not going to forget that your father just died, or get over the pain anytime soon, but you need to start taking a little time to do something different. You can’t think about this for twenty-four hours a day, or you’ll go nuts.” His voice was soothing. “I’m going to make some coffee and I want you to go wake up your mom. Then, I want you to go upstairs, take a shower, and put on some clean clothes. I want to talk to both of you. I’ll tell you why, when you get finished.”

  “But...” I started to say.

  “Just trust me.”

  “How many times have I heard that?” I asked as I walked away from the kitchen. I could see a lecture was on the way.

  The door to Mom’s room was open, so I peeked inside. She was lying on top of the bedspread, still dressed in the same clothes she’d been wearing yesterday. This is bad, I thought to myself. Billy’s right. We have to go on with our lives. Dad wouldn’t want us to spend the rest of ours lives like this. I could hear him now, “Snap out of it! Get a grip!” That get a grip was a phrase he’d picked up from me. He got a big kick out of it the first time I’d said it to him. He thought it was cool.

  I went into Mom’s bedroom, gently shook her and said, “It’s time to get up. Billy’s making coffee, and he wants to talk to us. I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be back down in a few minutes.”

  “What time is it?”

  “It’s a little past ten,” I replied as I walked out of the room. I wanted to give her time to wake up, and realize it was another day. I resisted the urge to sit on her bed and talk. I didn’t want us to start our day crying and feeling depressed.

  By the time I got back downstairs, Billy and Mom were in the kitchen... laughing. That lifted my spirits. I had not heard Mom laugh since before Dad died. It was good to have her back.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “Billy was telling me about some of his cases,” she answered. She still had the pain in her eyes, but she seemed relieved to be able to laugh again. “I can’t believe how dumb some people can be.” She hesitated for a moment. “Billy was also telling me that you and I should try to start living again... without Mack. I know that sounds harsh, honey, but it’s true. Mack wouldn’t want us to sit around all day and turn into vegetables. He would want us to go on with our lives.”

  “Turn into vegetables... where did you learn that?” I asked, looking in Billy’s direction. “You’ve been around him too long.”

  We weren’t going to get over this overnight, but I think the two of us realized that we had to go on without Dad. We were still alive, and it was up to us to make the best of it. This was a start. We laughed, and for just a minute, I didn’t think about the sadness I felt from Dad’s death. For just a minute, I didn’t see grief in Mom’s eyes.

  Billy had made coffee and between the three of us, we managed to throw together a pretty good breakfast.

  “I didn’t realize how starved I was until now,” Mom said as we sat down at the table. “Poor Athena, when was the last time somebody fed her? Look, she’s famished.”

  “She seems to be pretty happy to me,” I said as Billy placed a plate of eggs and bacon down in front of her.

  We ate breakfast in silence, trying to come to grips with reality. Mom seemed to be doing a little better now that Billy was here. He had a way of doing that—making the best of a bad situation, and getting you to do the same. I guess there was still a lot I had to learn about him.

  As we cleared the table, Mom faced Billy and said, “Why don’t you tell Jesse what you’ve asked me to do?”

  “What?” I looked at him.

  “I know it’s a bad time, but I need you Jesse,” Billy assured me. “I’ve been making background checks on all the people involved in the Carrolton case, and you were correct. There might be more we need to investigate. The police report doesn’t have zilch on any of them, other than their prior statements.”

  I’d forgotten all about work. My mind had been on trying to get through the funeral, and looking after Mom. Besides, what did work have to do with Mom?

  Billy must have sensed my concern. “I’ve asked your Mom to help us for a couple of days. I want to go talk to the waitress and the gas station attendant. We can check out where they live, and who their friends are. I’m going to need your help, and I need someone to run the office while we’re working. It’ll only be until we get caught up. I have a backlog of phone messages to go through and someone needs to man, or should I say, woman the phone.” Billy said, smiling that silly smile of his.

  “What do you think about this, Mom?” I asked.

  Hesitating a minute, Mom turned to me and said, “Billy has been here for us since your father died, and now he needs our help.” She glanced at Billy and smiled, “There’s no way I could turn him down.”

  Oh, boy, what a load of crap. Billy’s such a persuasive person. He actually had Mom believing he needed her help. But not me, I could see right through him. Billy doesn’t need anybody... we’re the ones who need him. He knew it, and so did I.

  “Give me a few minutes to get myself together and I’ll be ready to go,” she said to Billy, and then glanced in my direction. “I think it’d be best if I drove my own vehicle, since Athena will be coming.” Then she hurried out of the room, not giving me a chance to say anything.

  Still not being able to call my mom by her first name, Billy replied, “I think that is a good idea, Mrs. Watson.”

  “Are you nuts?” I asked, pouncing on him the minute she got out of sight. “She’s not ready. It’s too soon.”

  “You don’t give her enough credit. She’s stronger than you think. She’s a very brave woman. You might be surprised.”

  “I know what you are doing.”

  Billy’s attempt at distracting us from our misery was working. Within an hour’s time, he’d brought the color back into Mom’s cheeks. After watching her turn into a shell of a person, in a span of less than two weeks, it was good to see her come back to life, however short lived. I’d take what I could get.

  “I almost forgot Athena’s bowl,” Mom said. “I think we should stop at Wal-Mart and get her one of those dog beds. You don’t want her stretched out all over the place. This is a place of business.” She scurried around, looking for anything she might’ve missed.

  I ran upstairs to
get my handbag. I found my briefcase and shoved the scattered paperwork off the computer table into it. My head was spinning, and I had the feeling I’d slipped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. It’s funny how things flash through your mind. Something was constantly happening, and information was bombarding me from everywhere. I couldn’t seem to process it all at one time. I’ve had more stuff going on in the past month than I’ve had in my whole thirty-one years. I wasn’t surprised that I felt so confused.

  After making sure the alarm had been set and the house was locked, Billy ushered us out to our cars. He was ready to get moving, and did his best to make sure we were safely packed and ready to go, before we pulled out of the driveway. Mom and Athena were in the minivan behind Billy, and I followed her in my Jeep. I could’ve gone with either one of them, but I liked driving my new car.

  Athena got her new dog bed, and Mom got comfortably set in her new role as office manager. She fell for Billy’s charm just as I had. He seemed to have a special way of making you feel right at home, and at the same time, he’s trying to guide you in the direction he thinks you need to go. He’s always babbling about something in his native tongue, which Mom finds delightful.

  A few days later, Mom had found her niche. She loved answering the phone, making coffee, and at the same time, taking care of Athena, Billy and me. She had her freedom to run things as she saw fit. To her, it was like taking care of her household, which was something she knew how to do pretty well. Most importantly, I think it helped to ease some of the pain she was trying so desperately to deal with. It was going to be a long road to recovery, for all of us.

  At the end of each day, we’d have dinner together at Billy’s apartment, or at our house. We were soon becoming a family of another sort—me... my orphaned dog... my mother... and an Indian private detective. What a life! I guess stranger things have happened.

  During the several days that my mother was being indoctrinated into the private eye business, Billy and I were out running down every piece of information that we had. We went to the Piney Mountain Grill and talked to Rose Hudgins, but she didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know. However, we got a chance to observe her reactions to certain questions. To me, she seemed a little bit uncomfortable at times, especially when we asked questions about her family. This was obviously a subject the police had not explored aggressively.