Rebellious: A Best Friends-To-Lovers Romance

by Kristy Marie

  She deserves someone better. Someone who can love her openly, as if every day was summer vacation. I couldn’t be that man. No matter how much I longed to be, our circumstances wouldn’t allow it.

  And now, after years of having her at my side, I’m alone. Her toothbrush still sits on her side of the vanity, her shampoo in my shower. I’m trapped in a nightmare with no way out.

  Everything I see reminds me of the last rule she inked. The only one that ever mattered. There’s no exception. Not this time.

  I scratch the inside of my forearm; the burning is, more than likely, a direct result of the anxiety coursing through my system.

  Don’t come for me.

  “Fuck!” I throw the pen and it bounces off the wall of my master bathroom. I couldn’t bring myself to stay at the lake house without her. So I tossed what I could find in a suitcase, and drove home, leaving Fenn and Drew to clean up.

  “You all right in there?” Drew’s voice is hesitant.

  When he and Fenn arrived back home earlier, I had been sitting on the sofa, three beers down, the rule on the inside of my forearm glaringly obvious. My new ink and mood said it all. Both guys made an excuse to leave, which I appreciated.

  I would rather simmer in my own failures alone since, apparently, solitude is in my future.

  I lie back on my bed, a hand over my forehead. “I’m fine,” I clip out.

  “Have you eaten?” Concern is woven throughout Drew’s question, which only serves to piss me off further.

  “Don’t talk to me like a fucking kid,” I bite out. “I can handle myself.”

  He better not think he needs to take over Aspen’s role now that she’s on a plane, heading to Boston and right into Liam’s arms.

  My jaw clenches, tension coiling through my entire body.

  “Perfect,” Drew returns, completely unaffected, “I was worried you might continue acting like a fucking brat.”

  I jump up, ready to pick a damn fight, and throw open the door, finding Drew casually leaning against the wall.

  “Evening, sugar,” he teases. “Can we help you pull your head out of your ass before we grab dinner?”

  I fist his shirt and haul him to my chest. “Leave me alone.” My voice has taken on this scary growl, which should warn my brother away from any further taunts. However, I forget he’s an idiot and subtlety is not his thing.

  “I take that as a no, then?”

  Fenn approaches, a reserved look in his eyes. “Come on, dude. Let’s get out of here for a while.”

  He says it like we’ve been here, at the townhouse, all summer, and not at the lake house with Aspen for the last six weeks.

  “I’m fine,” I tell him, sighing. I let go of Drew’s shirt. “Go without me.”

  We only have a few things in the pantry. I need to go to the store but that, too, conjures up memories of this summer.

  “Maybe a change of scenery will help?” Fenn tries again.

  His eyes are the same color as Aspen’s. I pinch my eyes shut, pressing my thumb in the corner as if a crazy headache is coming on.

  “Thanks for the offer,” I finally tell him, turning around and heading back into my bedroom.

  “We’re all going to miss her.”

  I spin around at Fenn’s confession.

  He shrugs. “The three of us need to learn how to function without her.”

  Easy for him to say. He gets to visit her when his parents fly to Boston in the next couple of days and help her move in. She’ll still talk to him. He didn’t ruin her life and choose his family over her.

  Without saying a word, I turn and slam the bedroom door closed behind me. I don’t need girlfriends or therapy chats. This day has been brewing since we were kids. I’ve prepared for it as best I could but that doesn’t mean I can’t be an angry asshole for a few days.

  An annoyed slapping sound rattles the door. “We’ll bring you something back. Don’t drown in your tears.”

  Like Aspen, my brother has had many years of learning how to ignite my rage. However, I’m not taking the bait. As much as I want to punch something, I refuse to hit him.

  I can deal with this.

  I just need to get through this first night.

  Going to the window, I pull the curtains back so I can stare at Aspen and Vee’s back door. Now it’s just Vee to watch over. Although, I highly doubt she’s in there. She’s probably next door with Sebastian, if she even came home yet. The window is still unlocked, a habit I’ve not been able to give up.

  I chuckle at the symbolism of it all. The writing on my arm, the unlocked window that Aspen used for three years to sneak in and out of my bedroom, and here I am, turning the lock and closing the book on a lifetime of memories.

  My window has no reason to open again.

  Nausea swirls in my stomach as the front door slams, leaving me and my shitty attitude all to ourselves. I should have gone with my brother and Fenn. I should have made it a point to look like the insanity hasn’t consumed me.

  But I couldn’t.

  Throwing open the door, I head into the kitchen and grab another beer from the fridge. This entire summer started with a drunken night at the pub where Aspen convinced me to dive off a bridge with nothing but a harness and her scream.

  Hitting the edge of the bottle against the counter, I slam off the lid and take a long pull. I just want to forget it all. Every ride on the jet ski. Every laugh. Every taunting smile. Every single challenge she threw at me.

  I want it all gone.

  Every. Last. Moment.

  I slide to the floor, my back against the refrigerator. The floor is good, it holds no memories. And the beer is already washing away the memories of her with every chug.

  I wake up thirsty.

  I look around the kitchen; my vision is blurry and my skin is hot.

  “Fuck.” I moan, pulling myself up into a standing position. I’ve only had this happen twice when I was younger and still figuring out the right balance of insulin, carbs, and exercise.

  Stumbling to the bathroom, I unzip the black bag and drop to the floor. While opening an alcohol pad in order to clean my finger, everything blurs together, but I hold the lancet steady enough to prick my finger, add a drop of blood to the test trip, and put it into the glucometer.

  Focusing, I close one eye and read off the number, 282. “Fuck.”

  I bang my head against the cabinets a couple of times, punishing myself for being reckless. I didn’t eat. I didn’t check my blood sugar, and I drank far too many beers loaded in carbs.

  Drawing up the insulin, I take a deep breath.

  It’s just a needle—a painless little needle that you could never stab yourself with.

  “Boys!”

  I exhale the breath I was holding at the sound of Theo’s voice.

  “Where are you little shits?”

  I could ignore him. I doubt he’d check our rooms, but then again, he might have heard from Aspen. And right now, even hyperglycemic, that matters the most to me.

  I pull myself from the floor and stand. “Back here!” I holler, heading into the bedroom and taking a seat on the edge of the bed just as Theo pops his head through the door.

  “Hey.” He tips his chin. “Are you the only one here?”

  I rake a hand through my hair. “Yeah. Fenn and Drew are out grabbing dinner.”

  Theo nods, pushing into my room like he’s looking for something. “You alone?”

  I bark out a laugh. “Yeah, I’m alone.” Surely he doesn’t think Aspen is here. “Aspen isn’t here.” I confirm, just in case.

  “Oh, I know.”

  Then… “Why are you looking around suspiciously?”

  He shrugs, striding into my bathroom and sliding open the shower doors. “Seems like you’re a little out of sorts.”

  Ah, hell. He thinks I have a girl in here. “I—”

  “Your sugar is high,” he clips, finding the needle on the counter. He walks into the bedroom with a hard jaw and narrow eyes. “How high
, Jameson?”

  I shake my head and lie. “I’m fine. I was about to give myself an injection when you came in.”

  “Perfect.” He hands the syringe over. “Don’t let me interrupt you.”

  I swallow, eyeing the fucking needle. “Nah, it’s fine. What brings you here?”

  Theo grins and it’s not one like his daughter’s, all sweet and mischievous. No, this smile knows something. It’s the same one he uses when he’s about to give my father a dose of harsh reality.

  “Alright, Jameson Number Two. Have it your way.” The uncle who’s been a second father to me pulls the desk chair out and sits.

  “Did we do something?” Referring to my brother and Fenn. I already know why he’s here, though. My uncle is a stubborn ass, and him twirling the insulin syringe through his fingers tells me everything. He knows.

  “What do you think about pizza?” he asks after a minute, pulling out his phone. “Pizza was always the best at soaking up the booze when I was in college.”

  “I—”

  “Have been drowning your sorrows in several beers, I’m guessing,” he adds, pointing, without looking, at my nightstand. “You like that veggie shit or everything, like my daughter?” He weighs his words and then cocks his head. “Everything it is.”

  “Sir—”

  “Bennett, if you attempt to lie to me one more time, the next call I’m making is to your father. I’d love nothing more than to interrupt his fuckfest with your mama on my property. He thinks I don’t know he fucks her in the pool…”

  Internally, I gag, my face scrunching up.

  “You have exactly twenty-five minutes to give yourself this shot, before I do it for you.” Without ever looking at me, he presses the button on his phone and lays it on his thigh. “I haven’t lost a Jameson yet. I don’t plan to now.”

  He stands and walks over, placing the needle next to me. “I’ll wait.”

  Burying my head in my hands, I sigh. “Can I ask you something?” I mutter between my palms.

  “No.”

  “Sir—” He’s on me before I can react. He shoves the capped needle into my chest.

  “Do it, Bennett. Then I’ll answer your question.”

  Admitting to my uncle that I can’t inject myself is much worse than admitting it to Aspen.

  “Uncap the needle, Jameson.” His voice is firm and exactly how he speaks to my father.

  I sigh and toss it down on the bed. “I can’t,” I tell him.

  He scoffs. “Well, today is your lucky day, boy.” He hands the needle back. “Aspen is gone, Bennett, and I’m not leaving here until I see you shove this thing into your abdomen.”

  I groan. “How did you know she did it for me?”

  He rolls his eyes. “You kids think you are so slick.” He goes into the bathroom, grabs another alcohol pad, and tosses it to me. “Aspen Von Bremen is just like her mother. There’s no way she wouldn’t jump at the chance to take care of a Jameson.” He nods to the pad. “Open it.”

  By his set jaw, I know without a doubt, he isn’t leaving here until he sees me give myself an insulin shot.

  “She sent you, didn’t she?” It all makes sense now.

  “Clean the area, Bennett. You have twenty-one minutes left.”

  This isn’t the ideal environment, but Theo won’t leave. His daughter is stubborn for a reason. Sucking in a breath, I pull my shirt over my head and toss it behind me.

  “Twenty minutes…”

  “I’m going,” I bark, my voice hardening. Ripping open the package, I take out the wipe and scrub it against my skin where I’ve seen Aspen do it. I barely have time to drop the wrapper before Theo is shoving the syringe in my hand.

  I swallow, just staring at it.

  “It can’t hurt any worse,” he says, taking a step back.

  I don’t need him to explain. He knows he walked into a shitstorm. I am in pain. I let his daughter leave. He might not know why or how deep our feelings ran, but he knows I lost my best friend.

  “Don’t think about it,” he tells me.

  My hand trembles and I don’t have the give a shit to hide it.

  “On the count of three,” he tells me.

  I nod, all this feeling a little ridiculous, but such is my life right now.

  “One.”

  I don’t wait for him to get further. Instead, I take a deep breath and pierce my skin, imagining her face—all smiles and enthusiastic yays as I inject the insulin. Aspen would have been impressed I finally gave myself a shot. Although, I always thought she’d be here but, I assume, that’s why she sent her father. To make sure I took care of myself, without her.

  My chest tightens. Even from afar, she’s still taking care of me.

  “All right then,” Theo says, holding his hand out for the needle.

  I cap the needle and hand it back. He retreats into the bathroom and opens and closes the cabinet doors until he finds the sharps container we discard the used needles in.

  “I don’t have a sucker,” he says, returning. “But I have a piece of gum.” He reaches in his back pocket. “Oh,” he snaps. “Not sugar free. Guess you get to live instead.”

  I shake my head, finding my shirt and slipping it on. Hopefully the blurry vision will settle down soon.

  “All right, ask me your question.” He takes his seat, his elbows resting on his knees.

  I sigh. I guess we’re doing this. A few minutes ago, I wanted to do anything to delay the insulin shot, but now that I’m calmer, I’m thinking this won’t end well.

  “Go on, Jameson, ask. I won’t sit here and stare at you all night until you’re ready to talk. Only the female Von Bremens have that level of patience.”

  I laugh, understanding why my father enjoys these chats with his best friend. Theo has a way of easing the tension, even if it’s at your own expense.

  Sitting up straighter, I level with him. “Did Aspen send you to check on me?”

  He doesn’t hesitate. “Yes. Next question.”

  “She told you I didn’t know how to give myself shots?”

  His brows arch. “No, she failed to share that information. I just happened to be a lucky asshole and walk in on this little disaster.”

  My head cocks to the side, digesting his words. If she didn’t tell him about the insulin, then what exactly was she checking on?

  “Believe it or not, Jameson Number Two, my wife and daughter care an insane amount about the men in our family. I don’t get the privilege of telling them no when they ask me to check on their boys.”

  Ah. “She was worried about all of us?”

  The doorbell rings, and Theo gets up. “I’m sure part of her wanted to make sure you were all okay.” He shrugs. “But I think you know the main person she wanted to make sure wasn’t drowning himself in cheap beer.”

  He walks out and a few seconds later, I hear him talking to someone before the door closes.

  “Get out here, Bennett! I’m not eating in your bedroom like some lovesick teenager.”

  I stand, fighting off a smile and make my way to the kitchen. My vision is clearing and I’m starting to feel normal.

  “I thought you ordered pizza?” I ask, looking at the spread of sushi and sashimi on the island.

  His lips flatten and he flashes me a bored look. “Like I was going to order carbs for the boy who was seconds away from going into a diabetic coma.”

  I pull out a stool and sit. “I wasn’t that hyperglycemic,” I argue.

  “And I’m not that much of an asshole.” He shrugs. “Ask me your real question, Bennett. Hurry, before your father gets here and ruins the fun.”

  I groan. “You called Dad?”

  He nods, shoving a whole California roll into his mouth. “Of course, I’m hoping he and Breck will be so worried that they’ll sleep here tonight, and I’ll have the entire foundation to fuck my wife out in the open.

  This time the groan is deeper. “How long do we have?”

  Theo shrugs. “I don’t know. Depends on ho
w fast he drives.”

  “Did you tell him I was dying?” I wouldn’t put it past him.

  He waves me off. “Of course not. I told him you were barricaded in the bathroom, crying for your mama.”

  I laugh. “Of course you did.”

  He nods, unaffected. “So, I repeat, ask me your question.”

  This is not the way I ever envisioned talking to Theo about Aspen and my father. I don’t know what I thought the best atmosphere would be, but not this. Not at my kitchen island, sushi between us, after he stood over me and ensured I gave myself a shot for the first time.

  “Aspen,” I start off, inhaling a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I love her, sir.”

  He doesn’t stop chewing. “Ask me something, Bennett. You loving her hasn’t been a secret since you were two days old.”

  Something like shock steals my breath. “You knew I loved her?”

  He nods. “The question has always been why you did nothing about it.”

  I rear back. “I thought you’d be angry,” I confess.

  He chews and swallows. “Definitely. Still not seeing why you didn’t make a move.”

  I’m confused. “I thought you would be mad at my father.” I swallow, my throat working as I finally confess why I can’t love his daughter like she deserves.

  “I’m always mad at your father about something.” He smirks. “It’s a game he likes to play. How much can he get on my nerves before I explode?”

  “I’m serious,” I tell him.

  “Me too.” He points to my food. “Eat.”

  I take a bite and swallow. “Sir, I love your daughter, but you’re my father’s lifeline.”

  Theo cuts me a look. “Bennett, your father has many lifelines. Just because I’m prettier than the others, does not make me his favorite.”

  I sigh. “Uncle Theo,” I try appealing to his familial side. “You know what I mean. He can’t lose you. My family can’t lose you.”

  Slamming his napkin down, he levels me with a stern look. “Let me tell you something, Bennett. I’ve known my daughter loved you when you were only thirty minutes old. Every day, I watched as she grew older and walked from my arms to yours.”

  He takes a breath, running his hands through his hair. “I’d love nothing more than to keep her my little girl the rest of her life, but that won’t happen. But one thing I want more than anything is for Aspen to be happy. And unfortunately, Jameson, you’re that happy.” He shrugs. “Or were that happy. You fucked up pretty good this time.”