Rebellious: A Best Friends-To-Lovers Romance

by Kristy Marie

  His anger is palpable.

  “I’m sorry—”

  His gaze locks onto mine. “Don’t.”

  I put my hands up in a placating gesture. Our tempers are hot right now. The last thing I need to do is piss Fenn off. Unlike Aspen, I have to go home with him.

  Home.

  Is that what I’ll call it now that she’s leaving?

  “When we get to the airport,” Fenn grits, his jaw working, “I’m talking to her first.”

  I nod. I can make that concession.

  “Did Drew text you back?” he says, seeming to calm down a little.

  “No.”

  Fenn seethes. “That fucker.”

  Brother or not, I agree. He owed it to Fenn and me to tell us she was leaving. Aspen owed us a goodbye, or at least an argument. But then again, she knew I wouldn’t have listened. She wasn’t leaving without me.

  “There,” Fenn says, pointing to the onboard screen where I’m tracking Aspen’s phone. “She’s gotta be here somewhere.” He drives through several parking lots before we finally spot her. “There’s the traitor.”

  He points to Drew, clutching a sobbing Aspen to his chest.

  “I’ll kill them,” I grit.

  Fenn whips into an empty spot, throwing the car in park. “Get in line.”

  Don’t come for me

  Aspen

  “I oughta kick your ass!”

  Fenn spits, rushing Drew and me.

  Quickly, I put a hand to his chest. “Whoa, calm down, crazy.”

  He rears back. “Crazy?”

  I nod, wiping under my eyes and avoiding Bennett’s seething stare. “Me? Crazy?” He straightens, knocking my hand off his chest. “I wasn’t the one who packed up and left without saying shit to anyone.”

  My head drops in shame. “I was going to.”

  Fenn laughs sardonically. “Oh, sure.”

  “Okay,” I agree. “You’re right. I wasn’t going to say goodbye.”

  I would have, had my brother been home, but he wasn’t, and I couldn’t risk waiting around and Bennett waking.

  “I’m sorry.” I take a step closer to my brother. He huffs, but he doesn’t shrug me off when I loop my arms around his shoulders.

  “The summer wasn’t over,” he mumbles.

  But it was.

  It had to be.

  Every day I stayed with Bennett would only prevent us from saying goodbye. We are habitual exception makers. I couldn’t let Bennett give up one more thing in his life. He deserved more. His life is worth more than sacrifices and it is time someone made one for him.

  “Be good, Fennius,” I say, fighting through tears. “Don’t get suspended.”

  Fenn pulls back and levels me with a flat look. “Liam is a cocksucker. Why didn’t you want to stay and work for Thad?”

  I sigh. This is the hard part.

  “I needed a change.”

  A clean break from the boys I’d always go back to.

  “Aspen,” Bennett says, his voice a hard edge.

  I give Fenn one last squeeze before stepping back and finding Bennett’s outstretched hand. “Walk with me?”

  He sounds resigned and not like the angry Bennett I dealt with this morning.

  I nod, taking his hand and letting him lead me past several rows of cars before pulling us to a stop.

  “Is this about earlier?”

  Be strong, Aspen.

  “No.”

  It’s the truth. This isn’t about earlier. This is about him and his damn honor.

  “No?” His brows arch. “Then what made you flee to the airport two weeks early?”

  I sigh. I can’t leave without him knowing the truth. Spending even another week with Bennett would have been torture for the both of us. “I—”

  “Is this about marriage? Kids?” He’s confused, his voice pitching.

  “What? No.”

  He takes my hands, gripping them in his. “I—If that’s what you need, we can make it happen. I—”

  Can sacrifice for me.

  Inhaling, I meet Bennett’s agonizing stare, an emptiness settling in my stomach. “This summer was the best of my entire life.”

  Bennett stands there, stock still, the only movement is a lone blood vessel pulsing in his neck. “I don’t want to live without you.”

  A single tear of mine falls between us and Bennett closes his eyes.

  “We can’t do this to each other anymore.”

  Opening his eyes, Bennett grabs me. “I don’t care—”

  I shake my head, sniffling. “I care.” Straightening, I clear my throat and pull away. Bennett tracks me with his eyes as I reach into my purse and pull out a marker. It’s the last rule I’ll ever write.

  “Give me your arm,” I tell him, a faint trembling in my voice.

  “Aspen, I can—” His brow furrows as I take his arm. “Don’t do this,” he pleads.

  The sound of his plea breaks the dam of tears as they stream down my face. I clutch his hand one last time before bringing it to my lips, saying my goodbye with one last kiss.

  “Aspen, please. I can’t—”

  I look up, flashing him a sad smile. “You can live without me, BJ, and unfortunately, I can live without you, too.” I just don’t want to.

  I smooth the inside of his arm and place the cap of the marker between my teeth, popping it off and watching it fall to the ground. My mother was right. Sometimes we have to let go of the ones we love and find who we are without them. It might feel like I’m ripping out a piece of myself to do it, but we both deserve all of each other, not just the exceptions.

  Placing the tip of the marker to his skin, I write, the tears endless as they smear the ink.

  “Aspen,” he pleads, his voice full of gravel and pain.

  He knows this is it. “I love you, Bennett Jameson.” I swallow, finishing the first word. “And I will always love you, but we can’t do this anymore.” The second word is finished. “This summer taught me the most valuable lesson of them all.” The third word completes. “Loving you is all-consuming, and without it, I’m empty. I can’t go back to the rules. Our love can’t be a sacrifice.” As I finish the fourth and final word of the last rule, I look up and meet his eyes. They are haunted and glassy, which crushes my heart. “If I’m always going to love you, I need to learn how to fill the void you’re leaving. I deserve all of you, and I can’t ask you to choose me over your father. I can’t ask you to risk your family by loving me, and I refuse to derail your career. But what I can do, is decide for both of us. We need to move on.”

  A tear falls and this time it’s not mine. “Don’t do this.”

  My insides feel like broken glass, cutting and nicking the pit of my stomach as Bennett brings his arm forward and reads the rule.

  Don’t come for me.

  It’s a rule meant to protect us both.

  “I can’t honor this,” he says, clearing his throat.

  I drop the marker on the ground and encase his face with my hands. “Yes, you can, and you will,” I tell him. “Because you’re a good man, Bennett Jameson. And an honorable man knows when it’s time to let go. I love you and maybe one day, I’ll be able to come to dinner on Sundays and sit across from you and not feel pain. But for now…” I shake my head and sniffle, my heart breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. “But for now, I need to grieve. Take care of yourself, BJ.” I kiss his lips. “I’ll be watching you and no matter what, I’ll always be your biggest fan.”

  With that, I pick up what’s left of my heart, and leave my childhood love standing frozen and doing what I knew he would, obeying the rule. He won’t come after me because that’s not who he is. Strong men, loyal men, do what’s best for their people. His family is everything to him. And I am included in that family.

  Bennett will never put himself first, so I did. He deserves for someone to look out for his best interest, even if that sacrifice comes with the destruction of my heart. I’m lucky enough not to worry about my father leaving my mother
or my father losing the battle with his own demons.

  But Bennett does, and I refuse to make him choose and be someone he isn’t. If I have to take the brunt of the pain to ensure he and his father live a happy life, then I will. Because I love them both beyond measure.

  Except, I can’t be here to do it. I can’t look at Bennett, still loving him, and not have him. I’m not that strong. So, I’m removing myself from the equation. I might not want this Boston job, but it ensures I won’t get in the car on an awful night and crawl through Bennett’s window.

  I’m tough, but not that tough. My heart bleeds for this man and I know unless distance separates us, I’ll never quit him.

  I attempt to suck up the tears when I get back to my brother, but when his eyes are glassy too as he snatches me to his chest, wrapping me in a tight hug, I just sob into his chest. “You’re gonna be fine,” he tells me, trying to sound annoyed.

  “I know,” I mumble into his chest. “You stay out of trouble, okay? I won’t be there to give you an alibi.”

  Fenn’s head rests on mine. “I’ll look out for them,” he promises.

  I nod. “Who’s going to look out for you?”

  He scoffs, pulling up and rubbing my head. “I don’t need anyone. I’m a Von Bremen.”

  I squeeze him hard at his deflection. He is a Von Bremen, and like a Von Bremen, he has skeletons he’s buried so deep, I’m afraid no one will hear his pleas through the asshole mask he wears.

  “Call me once a week?” I beg.

  “No.” He laughs. “You’re gonna be fine. You don’t need to hear from your little brother. And I refuse to be your inside source to Jameson.”

  He pushes me back, so he can look at me. “Start over, Asp. Find what makes you happy. I’ll be here when you need me.”

  He’s right. I would use him as a source of information, but how am I supposed to pick up and start over with none of my boys?

  “Go,” he says, nuzzling me. “I promise, we’ll be fine.”

  I nod and take a hesitant step away. I have to force myself not to look back at Bennett. Did he leave? Is he still standing there, waiting?

  “Come here, girl.” Drew grabs me, wrapping me in a big hug. “We’re going to miss you.”

  “I’m going to miss you all too. Be good.”

  He jostles me in his arms. “No promises.”

  I nod, smothering a laugh. “Just don’t get expelled while I’m gone.”

  Drew points to my brother. “She’s talking to you.” Fenn flips him off, which he ignores. “Send us some pictures.” His eyebrows waggle. “Nudes are preferred.”

  “Ew,” Fenn growls. “That’s my sister.”

  “I’ll try,” I promise, but it’s a lie.

  “Love ya, Asp.” Drew gives me one last hug before I let them go, grabbing the handle of my suitcase and flashing Fenn a sad smile. “Bye, boys.”

  This time, I just nod, knowing the time has come. If I don’t walk away now, I won’t be able to leave this family of mine—a family built from love and not blood. A family Bennett and I sacrificed everything for.

  I don’t look back as my suitcase rolls behind me. I can’t bear to see Bennett still frozen with those glassy, emerald eyes as he begged me not to do this.

  I have to think what I’m doing is better for everyone. Bennett can’t transfer. He can’t lose his spot in the draft next year. And I can’t live by rules any longer. My leaving is for the best. It has to be.

  I get through security and find my flight, which isn’t until midnight, but I knew I couldn’t stay at the house any longer. Bennett would have convinced me to stay.

  Taking a seat in the chairs waiting to board, I pull out my phone and video call my mom. She answers on the third ring. “Aspen? Where are you?”

  I sigh. “The airport.”

  She takes a seat. I can tell she’s in the kitchen. “Oh, baby.”

  She doesn’t need to ask if I’m okay. I’m not, and I’m sure the quiver in my voice tells her everything.

  “I’m proud of you,” she finally says. “I know this isn’t easy, but it’s what needs to happen.”

  It does, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like a ball of tears at the moment.

  “Will you tell Daddy I said goodbye?”

  My mom nods, tears in her eyes. “He’ll be pissed he missed you.” She wipes her cheeks, catching the few tears that fall. “I’m going to miss you so much, but you’re going to love Boston.”

  I don’t think so, but I won’t argue with her now. I just need to get through this and get on that plane.

  “Your father and I will fly out as soon as we can, and we can go apartment shopping.”

  Since I never intended to take the Boston job, I wasn’t prepared to need somewhere to live. So, I’m staying in a hotel for a few days until I can find something.

  My room, the foundation, everything would remind me of him. So, I did what I thought was best. Texted my boss, who is not Liam, and his secretary helped secure me a room until I can find a place.

  I haven’t texted Liam since the carnival. There’s no point. I’m not interested in Liam and even though I’m traveling to a place where I will know no one but him, I still couldn’t bring myself to reach out. Liam inadvertently set off a string of events that led to the best summer of my life. The summer that changed everything.

  “Take care of yourself,” my mom says, her voice suddenly scratchy.

  “I promise.”

  “And will you…” I don’t even have to tell her. She knows what I want.

  “We’ll take care of him, baby.”

  I hear her sniffle. “But you will come home for the holidays or I will pack up the entire foundation, Marines included, and bring them to your doorstep.”

  I laugh into the phone. “I promise, I’ll come home.”

  I don’t discount her threat at all. My mother is serious about family time.

  “Good,” she says. “Now go, before I can’t hang up.”

  Smiling, I meet her eyes full of unshed tears. “I’ll call you when I land.”

  She presses a kiss to her fingers and touches the screen. “And when you’re checked in?”

  She’s ridiculous, but it makes me laugh. “And when I check in.”

  “Good.” She lifts her gaze. “Be careful, Angel.”

  Without telling her goodbye, I hang up, closing my eyes, exhausted. This day did not go how I planned. I would have loved to spend the last two weeks with Bennett and the boys, but I knew it would be worse. It’s better this way—just rip off the bandage.

  I lean back in my seat, thinking of the last time Bennett smiled. The guys ribbing him around the fire and me feeling so loved, sitting between his legs as he made excuses. There’s no doubt he loved me. It’s just circumstances never played in our favor.

  “Why do I always feel like I need a Tetanus shot every time I come to an airport?”

  My eyes fly open as I take a quick look around. I must have fallen asleep. “Daddy?”

  He frowns and drops into the chair next to me. “Were you asleep?”

  I ignore him. “How did you get in here? I thought you had to have a ticket?”

  He fishes out a boarding pass and lays it on my bag. “There’s a game next week in Boston. A kid I want Atlanta to look at will be pitching. I thought maybe you and I could go look at him.”

  My brows arch. “What?”

  Leaning back, Dad crosses his legs. “Currently, he isn’t represented.”

  “How is he playing in Boston?”

  He shrugs, a slow grin tugging on his face. “He’s a steel worker and plays in a Saturday game with all the wannabe daddies and their beer guts.”

  “And you think he wants to be a pro baseball player?”

  He holds out his hands as if they were a scale. “Make forty thousand a year or forty thousand a game, you tell me?”

  “I think that’s awfully presumptuous of you.”

  He shrugs, his smile never fading. “Possibly, but I
have a shark in my back pocket who could talk him into it.”

  I shake my head. “I took the Boston job, I’m not an agent anymore.”

  My father throws his head back. “That’s not what Cooper Lexington told me.”

  I open my mouth and close it. “Well, I promised his brother a favor.”

  “And Madsen?”

  He’s referring to Jake. “I’d already promised him I would find him a deal. How do you know about Jake, anyway?”

  He rolls his eyes. “Believe it or not, Thad and I do talk occasionally.”

  Uncle Thad. “What a traitor.”

  “That he is. However, it got me thinking.”

  “Thinking about what?” I ask.

  He pulls something from his pocket—a set of keys. “What on earth am I supposed to do with this empty office building I just bought?”

  My chest locks up as I see the keys dangling from his fingers. “You bought me an office?”

  “I did. No daughter of mine is going to throw away talent by being a sideline reporter.” He pushes the keys into my palm. “You are an agent, Aspen Von Bremen. And no man is going to drive you away from that dream.”

  I cry. I don’t mean to. Honestly, I think hearing the truth just brought it all forward. I was giving up my dream to get away from Bennett. “I—I can’t be near him.”

  My father shrugs. “Then don’t, but you aren’t running. Von Bremens don’t run away from our problems. We ignore them.”

  I laugh, snuggling into his chest.

  “So, can we leave now? Your mother is texting me. She can’t wait to spend money on apartment and office shit.”

  Bonding is only fun naked

  Bennett

  My skin is on fire.

  Whether that fire be from the eight times I’ve traced the rule she left on my skin or I’m allergic to this pen; regardless, I can’t bring myself to wash it off. All I can do is stare at the rounded letters she left me as a reminder.

  Our time together has ended.

  She wasn’t wrong to end it.