House Divided

by Peel, Jennifer

  “Yes.”

  My stomach picked another inopportune moment to growl loudly. It really needed to quit doing that.

  “When is the last time you ate, young lady?”

  “Don’t worry about me.”

  “Ella Lu, go home, get something to eat, and rest. I’ll be more awake tomorrow.”

  Then to prove her point, she closed her eyes. I reluctantly rose. I kissed her cheek. “Don’t think for one second you’re fooling me.”

  She tried not to smile. “I love you more than air, Ella Lu.”

  I walked out to the nurses’ station and made sure they had my cell phone number. I told them to call me at any time. I also got their number so I could call and check on her frequently.

  As I walked back to the waiting room, I still felt like I was in that parallel universe. Or maybe I was the one that had surgery and I was in some bizarre dream in my sleep induced coma. I stopped by the ladies room one more time and said a silent prayer of thanks. Then I looked in the mirror and asked myself silently what I was going to do about the man in the waiting room. This rodeo was becoming more challenging. I took several deep breaths and then I reapplied my lipstick and saddled up. I walked back out into the arena.

  Brady sat there waiting for me. The way his eyes lit up when he saw me wasn’t helping me stay securely in the saddle. I forced myself not to smile. He stood up and walked straight to me, looking determined to unseat me. But I was determined too.

  “Is everything ok with your aunt?”

  “Yes, other than she keeps dismissing me.”

  “So, are you ready to go?”

  “Yes, thanks again for everything today. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  I turned to walk toward the elevator. Brady wasn’t having it. I knew he wouldn’t, but I had to try.

  He kept pace with me nicely and reached for my hand. There were too many people around for me to pull away from him. I wouldn’t embarrass him like that. He grinned at me. He knew me too well. On the elevator, I refused to look at him, but I knew he was looking at me. I could feel it. Before we reached the ground floor, he leaned over. “Ellie, you’re so pretty when you try to ignore me.”

  I was ready to turn and look up at him with my icy glare, but he had the sweetest, sappiest smile on his face and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t help but smile back at the fool, but I did shake my head at him. As we walked off the elevator, he leaned in again. “You’re even prettier when you smile at me.”

  I lightly elbowed him.

  He chuckled.

  As soon as we made it to the parking lot and were alone, I tried to let go, but he anticipated. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me.

  “Let go of me, Brady Jackson.”

  “Ellie Eaton, I have no intention of ever letting you go again, and I’ll pick you up and throw you over my shoulder if I have to.”

  “You would do no such thing.”

  “That sounds like a challenge, darlin’.”

  “Don’t you dare, Brady! I’ll scream.”

  “Even better,” he said as he scooped me up without any effort and threw me over his shoulder. He apparently still worked out like an athlete. I could feel his muscles, which kind of made me forget that I was completely furious with him for taking such liberties with me.

  “Brady Jackson, put me down! I’m not seventeen anymore and I’m not your girlfriend!”

  “No, you’re definitely not seventeen anymore,” he responded salaciously. “The last ten years have done your body good. You filled out quite nicely. And as far as you being my girlfriend, that’s just a technicality I plan on fixing.”

  “I can’t believe you just said that. Does your momma know you talk like that?”

  Thankfully, we had gotten to his truck by this point. He opened the passenger side door and placed me inside. I sat there, only because I didn’t want him to pick me up again, but I had no intention of staying there.

  He leaned into the truck to where our faces were inches apart. I felt extremely warm all of a sudden, even though it was quite nippy out. “By the way, maybe you noticed that I’m not seventeen anymore either …”

  Boy did I ever, especially this close up.

  “And I don’t care if my momma knows that I think you’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

  I rolled my eyes. His country boy charm and flattery were getting him nowhere.

  He reached up and ran the back of his hand along my cheek. I used to love it when he did that. Ok, I still did.

  “Ellie, I mean it. You’re more than beautiful.”

  “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” I pushed him back. This was way too cozy, and I didn’t care what he said, this wasn’t just a technicality.

  He held my hand to his chest as I tried to push him away. He gave me the ‘what am I going to do with you?’ look.

  “Brady, I need to go.”

  He didn’t budge. “I know you must be starving, let’s go to dinner.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, and honestly, I need to get some more clothing. I hadn’t planned on being here this long.”

  He smirked. “I heard you were staying through the holidays.”

  “Kendra apparently has a big mouth.”

  He took my hand that he was holding against his chest, pulled it up and kissed my palm. I just shook my head at him. He wasn’t making this easy on me.

  “How about this, I’ll let you pretend as much as you want that you don’t want me back while we eat dinner and shop together,” he said sweetly.

  I looked at him with sincerity. “Brady …” I didn’t know what to say. Just because you wanted something, didn’t mean it should happen. Yes, I wanted him, but I knew it would only bring a world of trouble. And how could I ever fully trust him again?

  He kissed my hand one more time. “Great, now that that’s settled.” He quickly shut the door and ran around to the driver’s side.

  I just sat there, not sure what I should do. There was a war going on inside my head and my heart. My inaction, and his baby blues and warm lips were a lethal combination. As soon as he climbed in, my brain started functioning somewhat. “Brady, I can’t just leave my car here.”

  “Don’t worry, darlin’, we’ll come back for it.”

  Well I was worried. Not about the car. I couldn’t care less about it at the moment, other than it was a means to get away from Brady. I just sighed heavily and ran my fingers through my hair and turned toward the window. I felt very out of control.

  It was already dark outside. I aimlessly stared at the bright lights surrounding us on the highway. It looked like he was heading back toward the Summit. In my attempt to ignore him and figure out my emotions silently, I felt my hand being gently held. I didn’t turn.

  “Ellie, I’m sorry for coming on so strong. I just never thought I would get another chance with you. Will you please just talk to me? You used to be able to tell me anything, and I know you have something going on in that pretty head of yours.”

  I still didn’t respond. I really didn’t know what to say. That’s not true, I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t sure I should say it. What good was it going to do to bring up the pain and betrayal I’d felt all these years? We still couldn’t be together. Jacksons and Eatons were never meant to be. The look on his parents’ faces yesterday reinforced that.

  “Heck, girl, you used to even tell me about your periods.”

  Ok that worked. I turned toward him, and though he was paying attention to the road, I could see the stupid grin on his face.

  “So, you want to talk about my menstrual cycle?”

  He quickly glanced my way and raised his eyebrow at me. “Sure, if you really want to.” He squeezed my hand. “Ellie, I just want you to talk to me and tell me what’s wrong and what I can do to fix it.”

  “What if you can’t fix it?” My voice cracked when I replied. I turned back toward the win
dow and wiped away the tears that came.

  He didn’t reply, but he kept hold of my hand. I could feel his thumb lightly caressing the back of it. I was glad he didn’t respond. I needed to get a hold of my emotions, but I felt guilty too. I knew Brady was a great guy, probably even the best, but sometimes the past just can’t be undone or forgotten, and because of our birthrights, any future for us seemed very unrealistic. I hated the silence with our emotions hanging so heavily in the air.

  I decided to a least lighten the moment as we were stopped at a stop light. “Just for your information, if you see me around the middle of the month, I suggest copious amounts of dark chocolate and compliments.”

  I looked over to him, and he smiled that smile I loved so much. He picked up my hand and kissed it. He winked at me too. “I think I can handle that.”

  I was grateful to get to the Summit. I didn’t want to be in the truck with Brady by myself anymore. As soon as he parked, I reached for my door. He gently tugged on my hand. “At least let me be a gentleman.”

  Why did I have to have the one ex-boyfriend that was practically perfect? I waited for him to walk around. He opened my door and held his hand out for me to take. I hesitated reaching for it. He looked both sad and frustrated. I felt bad about that, but I didn’t know what else to do. Believe me, I wanted to jump into his arms. Heck, I would love to pull him back in his truck and kiss him until I could no longer remember all the reasons we couldn’t and shouldn’t be together.

  “Come on, Ellie, no strings attached.”

  I reached for his hand, and he helped me out and kept a hold of it. My hand that I knew was meant for his hand.

  “Shopping or food first?” he asked.

  “Definitely food.”

  “I always loved that you were never one of those girls who was afraid to eat.”

  “Good, because I plan on eating dessert too.”

  He tapped my nose and smiled. It was so easy to be myself with him. I didn’t tell him, but he was the only guy I’d ever been able to eat normally around. I don’t know why, maybe because he had always made me feel so good about myself. He really had been my best friend, in every sense of the word. I think that’s what hurt the most when he broke up with me and pretended like I didn’t exist.

  We decided on the Cheesecake Factory. It was pretty crowded, so we had to wait. At least we were with other people and Brady couldn’t harass me about why I just wasn’t willing to jump back in his arms like nothing had ever happened. I did let him continue to hold my hand. He said no strings attached, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean it. As we sat there waiting, he was recognized by two businessmen who were huge Alabama fans. Of course, they wanted to replay Brady’s accident with him. He seemed to take it in stride. I was still surprised it wasn’t that upsetting to him. Maybe it was when it first happened, but even Kendra said he was more relieved than anything. It didn’t make sense to me.

  Brady introduced me to his new-found friends.

  “So I suppose you went to Alabama too?” the gentleman closest to us asked.

  “No. I’m an Auburn graduate,” I said proudly. Of course I had to throw in a “War Eagle.”

  “All three men in unison said, “Roll Tide.”

  I think they were surprised Brady was with an Auburn girl, but unfortunately, the gentleman furthest from us, who was a definite good ole’ boy had a theory. “I guess since Miss Alabama burned you, you decided to give an Auburn woman a go,” he said it tongue and cheek of course, but it was no laughing matter to me.

  When the guy started talking about Amber, I automatically released my fingers from Brady’s. He, on the other hand, gripped tighter and looked my way worriedly. My saving grace came in the form of my phone ringing. Normally I wouldn’t be so rude as to pick it up, but I was worried it was the hospital. Thankfully, it was my agent, Olivia. I decided to answer.

  I turned towards the men. “Excuse me, gentlemen, it’s my agent. I need to take this.”

  Brady released me as I stood up and walked away. I went and stood across the waiting area in a little cove. I could still see Brady and he frequently glanced my way. I could tell he and his new friends were discussing me. I tried not to let it bother me, so I turned my back to them. They probably were commiserating that he didn’t get his Alabama beauty queen.

  “Olivia, your timing is impeccable. Thank you!”

  “Is everything ok? Please tell me everything is ok, you’re my biggest client and I just put down a huge down payment on a new home,” she teased.

  “Everything is fine, relax. I’m just out with my ex-boyfriend who thinks we should get back together.”

  “Are we talking about ‘The’ ex-boyfriend?”

  “The one and only.”

  “So are you going to?”

  “Absolutely not.” At least I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to.

  “I thought you still loved him. Isn’t that the excuse you always give me when I set you up with the most gorgeous men on the planet and you only go out with them a couple of times and then never return their phone calls?”

  I chose to ignore her little comment. “How are sales coming?”

  She started to laugh. “You’re using your divert and delay tactic. My dear Elle, you must still have it pretty bad for him.”

  She had no idea.

  “By the way, sales are way up. The publisher is already begging for your new book, so hurry up and come home.”

  That was music to my ears.

  “Olivia, I promised my aunt I would be here through New Year’s. And after today’s little scare, I need to be here with her until she’s back on her feet.”

  “Are you sure it’s just her?”

  “Yes.” I’ll keep telling myself that lie until I believe it. “The sooner I can return to Atlanta, the better, but …”

  “I would have to disagree with that,” was whispered in my ear. I almost dropped my phone.

  “Brady!” I turned around and right into Brady’s arms. “Olivia, I’ll call you later.”

  I could hear her laughing in the background before I hung up.

  Brady had an impassioned look on his face. I couldn’t help but just stare into his eyes. I could no longer see the boy Brady in them. All I could see in them was a man, and a deep longing. I knew what, or should I say who, he longed for.

  Yeah, well, I knew all about longing too. “Um, Brady, should we sit down again?”

  He continued to stare at me. My body heat rose several degrees, and I held my breath. The restaurant pager went off in Brady’s suit coat pocket. Thank goodness. He released me, except for my hand. It was like he had to touch me to remind himself that I truly existed. It would have been sweet if it wasn’t wreaking havoc on my emotions.

  Brady’s new found friends yelled out, “Roll Tide!” one more time as we walked by. I shook my head and Brady returned the sentiment. Only in Alabama, I thought.

  “Is everything ok with your agent?” he asked once we were seated.

  “Actually, it’s better than ok. My new book is doing fabulous and my publisher wants another.”

  “Congratulations, Ellie.” He didn’t sound very enthusiastic about it.

  I was starving, so I didn’t ask what was up with the lack of enthusiasm. As I perused the menu, Brady told me his new friends asked if I was an actress. They assumed because of my agent comment.

  I laughed. “Is that why you were all staring my way?”

  “No, Ellie.”

  I looked up from my menu.

  He reached across the table and tugged on my hair. “No, we were staring at you because you made us all wish that we had gone to Auburn.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I know your blood bleeds crimson, Brady Jackson. And if I remember correctly, you wanted nothing to do with me when we were in college.” Why did I say that? Why couldn’t I just let well enough alone? I knew rehashing the past wasn’t a good idea. This whole arrangement wasn’t a good idea.

  Brady’s face reddened. “Is that what
you really think?”

  “That’s what I know.” I went back to looking at my menu. This conversation was going to make me lose my appetite, which was saying a lot since I hadn’t eaten since early this morning.

  “Ellie, we really need to talk,” I heard him say as I was trying to ignore him.

  I kept my head down and focused on the menu. “What good would it do?”

  He reached across the table and tipped my chin up. I lifted my head to find him looking at me more seriously than I had ever seen him. “I think you may find you don’t know as much as you think you do.”

  If we weren’t in a public place, I think I probably would have let him have it. I wanted to say, “You’re right, I don’t know why you didn’t keep your promises to me after everything we had to go through just to be together. And I don’t know why you chose Amber over me and why, after all these years, I still love you and it still hurts.” But instead I just said, “I’m sure you’re right.”

  Chapter Ten

  His face faltered again. I knew my responses were bothering him, but what did he expect after all these years? I really think he expected me to fall right back into his arms and for us to pick back up where we left off ten years ago, but too much had happened. I’m sure he thought I would be easy to persuade, but I wasn’t seventeen anymore and his powers of persuasion didn’t have the same effect as they used to. Don’t get me wrong, he still had skills, but there was too much hurt in the way for them to be as effective as they were when we were younger.

  Our waiter came and took our order. Brady was ever the country boy and ordered steak. I ordered the chicken teriyaki. I tried to steer the conversation away from us. I asked about anything I could think of, from Caroline to if he really liked working at the bank, all in an effort to keep him at arm’s length. I could see the continued frustration as he answered, but he humored me all through dinner and dessert. When the check came, I offered to pay as a way to say thank you for him giving up his day. Once again, I disappointed him. He looked at me like he didn’t know who I was. He flat out refused my offer, and was even a little defensive about it. I knew Brady was very traditional about dating; I never once paid for anything when we were together, but this wasn’t a date. At least in my mind it wasn’t.