House Divided

by Peel, Jennifer

  I walked toward the music room. I missed playing my grand piano. I didn’t have room for it in my townhome in Atlanta, plus it just fit in this room. I perused through my old sheet music; it brought back lots of memories of recitals and hours and hours of practice. I remembered my relentless complaints about the amount of time I was made to practice, but my aunt always said someday I would thank her and, as always, she was right. One particular piece brought back more memories than I needed at the moment.

  I was taken back to a clear, warm, early spring night my junior year. Brady asked me to meet him by the river at our favorite spot. When I got there, he had the back of his truck decked out with a blow up couch, and he had one of those portable DVD players with a screen that you could watch in your car on a trip. To top it off, he had popcorn and drinks. I remembered how proud he looked about his idea. We could never watch a movie at each other’s home, but this was better in my opinion. We snuggled close, and Brady put on an old movie (at least old for us). It was called ‘The Man from Snowy River’. I had never even heard of it, but Brady loved horses, and this movie was made for Brady. Actually, it fit our own situation somewhat too. It was about a man and woman that loved each other, but there was strong parental objections. The female lead, Jessica, played the piano too. During a poignant scene, she played ‘Fur Elise’. Brady and I both loved that scene so much, I decided to learn how to play it. My piano teacher had told me it had been way over done, but I didn’t care. I practiced that piece until I could play it perfectly and from memory.

  And it wasn’t just the music from that movie that hit me so strongly. At the end of the movie, Jessica’s love interest, Jim, tells her father, who objected to them being together, that he’d be back for her. I remember crying during that scene, and Brady wiping my tears away and then kissing me. He promised me, no matter what, he would always come back for me; that nothing could keep us apart, not even our parents. I was dumb enough to believe him with all of my heart.

  Since I was already crying, I sat down on the bench and lightly ran my fingers across the keys. Then I began. I still didn’t need the sheet music. That piece had become a part of me, the way good music is supposed to. I also played “Jessica’s Theme” from the movie. While I played, I cried and cried. It was a world class pity party for one. At the end of “Jessica’s Theme” I realized it wasn’t a party for one. I had an audience.

  I was startled by clapping. I turned to find Brady standing at the door, looking fabulous in jeans and a collared shirt with a blue sweater over it. I didn’t know what to say to him. I just sat there, wiping away my tears, feeling foolish.

  “I’m sorry to startle you. I knocked and knocked and no one answered, but your door was unlocked.”

  “So you thought you should just let yourself in?”

  He gave me a crooked smile. “Well, how else was I going to see you?”

  I stood up and closed the lid to the piano.

  Brady braved entering and came toward me. “Do you remember the first time you played those songs for me?”

  Apparently he’d been standing there quite a long time.

  “You may be surprised what I remember too.”

  I had to play them for him in the school’s choir room since I couldn’t invite him home and my aunt would have had a fit if he came to one of my recitals. I remembered after I finished playing he hugged me tight and told me he loved me.

  The tears started to escape again. Brady edged closer to me and drew me to him. I didn’t have it in me to fight him. He pulled me close, and I rested my head against his chest and cried. He stroked my hair with one hand and held me with the other. “I’m so sorry, Ellie.”

  “You promised me you would always come back for me, but you didn’t,” I said through sobbing.

  “I know, Ellie. I should have. But, I’m here now. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  “Brady, how could we ever make it work? Too much has happened and not enough has changed.”

  He reached up, placed both of his hands on my face and pulled just enough away from me, so he could look into my eyes. I’m sure I looked like a mess. As he wiped away my tears with his thumbs, he smiled. “One thing that has never changed is that I love you and have loved only you.”

  I wanted to ask if that was true, then why did he get engaged to Amber, but his lips found mine before I could say anything. For a moment, all was right with the world. His kiss started off gentle and tentative, like he wasn’t sure it was ok, but when I responded, he deepened the kiss and his hands found their way through my hair and then down my back where he could pull me closer. I don’t know how long the kiss lasted, but it was longer than I had ever remembered kissing anyone, including him. When we were both breathy, he abruptly stopped and he sweetly kissed my forehead. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you, Ellie.”

  I lightly laughed. “I might have an idea.”

  He lifted me up off my feet. He looked so happy. Like the Brady I remembered, but the more attractive, grown-up version. “Will you come with me somewhere?”

  “It’s kind of late.”

  “I know, but we need to talk, and I want to show you something.”

  How could I refuse him? “Ok.”

  He kissed me briefly again, before setting me down.

  “You should probably change first.”

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “It’s a surprise, just go put on some jeans and a warm shirt.”

  I began to walk away and up to my room to change, but he pulled me back and dipped me back and kissed me again. I couldn’t help but grin.

  “Sorry, darlin’,” he said. “I’m just making up for lost time.” He pulled me back up. “I do love you, Ellie.”

  I didn’t say it back. I wasn’t quite ready for that. He was right, we needed to talk. It didn’t upset him, in fact I think he knew I wouldn’t say it back. “I love you enough for the both of us,” he said.

  I walked away feeling better than I had felt in forever. I walked up the back hidden staircase to my room, not sure what was going to happen, but I found I didn’t really care at the moment. I changed into some of the new jeans I’d purchased the previous day, but I threw on one of my old Auburn sweatshirts. It kind of seemed fitting.

  I came down the front staircase to find him waiting for me in the foyer. When he saw me, his eyes lit up. I loved that. He met me at the last step. Even with me being on higher ground, I was still shorter than him.

  He wrapped me up. “Are you ready to go, darlin’?”

  “Yep.”

  “Do you have a warm coat you can wear?”

  “No, I left it in Atlanta, but I can go see what my aunt has.”

  “That’s ok, you can borrow mine again.” He winked. “I loved that it smelled like you when I got it back today.”

  “Yeah … well, I kind of slept in it last night.”

  He kissed me once. “I like the sound of that.”

  He led me out to his truck, but he didn’t take me to the passenger side, he took me around to the driver’s side, like he used to when we were younger. I would just slide in and sit right next to him. He gave me that country boy smile when he opened the door. I was so on to him, but I slid in and sat in the middle.

  After he climbed in, he grabbed me again and kissed me hard. I had a feeling he would be doing that a lot tonight. He tugged on my hair. “You look good there, Ellie.” Then he took off like we were on fire.

  “So are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?”

  He reached down and held my hand. “All in good time.”

  We made small talk on the way to our destination. “How’s your aunt today?”

  “She’s a little better, but still weak. By the way, the flowers are absolutely beautiful. Are you hoping to butter her up?”

  He laughed deeply. “Well, I’m just hoping someday she’ll call me by my name.”

  “You have your work cut out for you there.”

  He shook his head in ack
nowledgement.

  I noticed we were heading out toward the lake. As we neared the Jackson mansion, I tensed a little. Surely he wouldn’t do that to me. I was relieved when we sailed by the turn to his parents’ house. I noticed Brady looked at me briefly as we drove by. Then we drove by his brother’s place. We wound around the lake and turned on a little road that was almost covered by pine trees. I probably would have missed it if I was driving myself. The road wasn’t paved, but it looked well-traveled and maintained. It was also lined by trees. After about a quarter of a mile, I could make out a clearing and a home. I could also see the lake and a fire burning. Brady looked over at me and his face was engulfed in a huge grin.

  “Is this your place?”

  He shook his head yes. As we neared it, I could see the house was a log cabin. I couldn’t help but smile. Brady had always said he wanted to live in a log cabin, and this was a beautiful cabin made with cedar logs. There was a large front porch made of stone and wood, I even noticed rocking chairs on it. It looked newly built.

  As soon as he stopped the truck, he looked at me. “What do you think?”

  “I think it’s very you.”

  “I’m still working on it, but at least it’s livable now.”

  “How long have you been working on it?”

  “A couple of years.”

  He opened his door and helped me out. He reached back in and grabbed his long gray wool coat. He wrapped it around me. It kind of swallowed me up. He grabbed a hold of my hand and led me to his backyard that edged the lake. Even at night, it was beautiful. The moon reflected off the still lake. There was a large stone fire pit near the water’s edge with a fire already blazing inside.

  I looked up to Brady. It didn’t seem like something he would do, leaving an unattended fire for so long.

  “Benjamin,” was all he said.

  “So this was a coordinated plan.”

  He just winked and walked me over to the fire pit that I bet he built himself. “I’ll be right back. You stay here and keep warm.” He kissed me briefly before he left me.

  I turned and watched him walk back toward his house. He walked up the steps to his porch, which was quite large. It looked like a porch made for parties. Boy did he look good. He was definitely blessed in the physical department. He came back down quickly, carrying blankets and a basket. I wondered if that was Benjamin or Kendra’s doing. When he returned, he laid out a large colorful patchwork quilt and set out the contents of the basket. It looked like a thermos of what I would guess was hot chocolate, then there were my favorite, chocolate covered strawberries. He also pulled out an iPhone speaker and he hooked his phone up and put on some George Strait. He walked back to me, looking more than pleased with himself. He led me to the blanket and invited me to sit down as he joined me.

  “It looks like Kendra’s been busy too.”

  He laughed and grabbed the extra checkered quilt, which was quite large. He wrapped it around both of us, and I leaned against his shoulder. He kept his arms around me. I was more than warm on this chilly December night.

  “Are you trying to seduce me, Brady Jackson? Because I’m still not that kind of girl.”

  He pulled me tighter. “I’m happy to hear that, Ellie, because I’m still not that kind of guy.” He pulled me onto his lap, and he kissed me until I forgot I was an Eaton. He grinned wickedly once his lips left mine. “But I do plan on convincing you that this is where you belong.”

  I reached up with both of my hands and held his face and stared into those beautiful blue eyes of his. “Then this could be a long night, cowboy.”

  He kissed me again. “I sure hope so, Ellie.”

  I leaned back against him, and he pulled me close.

  “So, Miss Ellie, I think I owe you an explanation.” He paused. “No, I owe you more than an explanation, and I promise I’ll get there, but tonight we’ll start with that.” He took a deep breath. “Ellie, first you need to know I only ended our relationship because of my family. I promise it had nothing to do with Amber. I know it didn’t look like that, and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t believe me, but it’s the truth. Ellie, there is and was no comparison between the two of you. Dating her was the biggest mistake I ever made, besides leaving you. But at the time, I was just trying to keep the peace during my dad’s first months of chemo.”

  He pulled me even closer and whispered in my ear. I’m not sure why, because we were very alone, but maybe he thought it would be better said quietly. “Ellie, I had to ignore you. If I didn’t, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you. You don’t know how many times I wanted to throw in the towel and just beg you to take me back. Then prom came and I couldn’t help but notice you. You looked so beautiful that night, and I wanted to hold you in my arms, and I thought for a moment there I was going to get to. I decided then I was done pretending that I didn’t love you, and that I would do whatever it took to win you back. Heck, I even thought about begging you to elope when you turned eighteen.”

  I turned back toward him and looked at him. “Are you serious?”

  He put his hand on my cheek. “Dead serious. Ellie, you were and are my dream. My football career and awards and life meant nothing to me because I didn’t have you to share them with.”

  “Why didn’t you?” I’m not sure I would have eloped, but I at least wanted to know what stopped him.

  “The look you gave me after your name was announced that night killed me. I could see the hate and hurt in your eyes, and what was worse, I knew I caused it. I knew you wouldn’t take me back. Then school ended, and it was like you disappeared.”

  A tear escaped. Brady lovingly wiped it away. “I thought running away would help me forget about you, but I never could.”

  He pulled my face toward his and kissed me gently. “I could never forget about you either, and I didn’t want to. You’re part of me, Ellie. The best part of me,” he whispered against my mouth.

  I hated to ruin the moment and the sentiment, but I needed to know. “What about Amber?”

  “What about her?” I could hear the derision in his voice.

  “I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t marry someone unless you loved them. So you had to have loved her.”

  He leaned his forehead against mine and sighed. “I didn’t love her.”

  I was confused, but I didn’t say anything. I had a feeling I needed to be still and let him elaborate in his own time. And to be honest, I didn’t mind the nearness or the stillness. I had waited years for answers, so I could be patient. The silence went on for several minutes, but it wasn’t uncomfortable like it had been the night before. It reminded me of when we were younger and I would lie in his arms for hours; we didn’t have to say anything. We were just soaking each other in.

  In the midst of his contemplation, I ran my fingers through his thick hair that had darkened over the years. It was now closer to my shade of dark brown. I loved the feel of it. He must have too.

  He reached up with both of his hands and laced them through mine and brought them back toward our bodies. “Ellie, I’ve missed you doing that. I’ve missed everything about you. I could never love anyone else when my heart had been claimed by you when I was barely old enough to even know what love was.” He kissed me sweetly and softly. “Ellie, I didn’t love her and I didn’t ask her to marry me.”

  I wanted to say something contradictory, but he did know me well. He placed his finger on my mouth before I could get a word out, and he grinned. “She and my momma decided that it was a good idea for us to announce an engagement. They thought it would redirect the media frenzy surrounding her mishap at the Miss America pageant. And they were right. I didn’t even buy the ring.”

  He sounded so beaten up.

  “Why would you go along with that?”

  “Because that’s what I had been doing for years. I felt like my life wasn’t even my own then. I lived to make my parents happy. I figured someone ought to be happy because I sure wasn’t. Amber was like my momma
’s pet. Sometimes, I felt like she loved her more than me. But then my leg broke and Amber knew what that meant. She didn’t really love me either. She loved the glory and the fame, and after the accident I could no longer give her that. I broke it off with her, but told her she was free to tell whatever story she wanted. I didn’t care, I was just so happy to be done with her.”

  “Brady, I’m so sorry.”

  “Darlin’, what do you have to be sorry about?”

  “I’m sorry you were miserable.”

  He cradled my face in his hands and just searched my eyes. “I’m sorry I made you question, for even a second, how I felt about you. If I could go back, I would have married you when I had the chance.”

  “You really think I would have married you when we were eighteen?”

  He kissed me silly. When we came back up for air, he had that wicked grin of his on. “I have no doubt, darlin’, I could’ve convinced you to.”

  “You’re so full of yourself, Brady Jackson.”

  “But I’m right.”

  I rolled my eyes at him, but he probably was right.

  “So where do we go from here? I know some things have changed, but Brady, your parents still hate me. I don’t want to cause problems in your family again.”

  “I say we go straight to the courthouse.”

  I smacked him gently. “Be serious, Brady, we can’t get married. We don’t even live in the same state anymore, and we’ve been apart for ten years.”

  He pulled me closer. “I’ve never been more serious.”

  “Brady.”

  “What, Ellie? You know we belong together. Why waste any more time?”

  “I can give you a dozen good reasons, starting with, my aunt would kill you if we got married at the courthouse, and your parents would probably kill me if they knew we were having this conversation. And ten years is a long time to be apart, what if we don’t like each other anymore?”

  In response, he kind of growled and turned me over so I was lying flat on the blanket and he hovered above me, looking way too sexy by the glow of the firelight.