12 Days of Forever

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “I’ll be right out. Go ahead and start on your warm-up.” Dana doesn’t respond, but takes a long look at me before walking away.

  “She likes you,” Yvie says from behind me. When I turn around, she’s back at her mp3 player, and it looks like she’s scrolling through her music.

  “I’m just her trainer. She works for Josie at the café.” I walk toward her needing to feel her against my skin, even if it’s just the palm of my hand.

  Yvie doesn’t make eye contact and doesn’t respond to my touch. “Nonetheless, she wasn’t very happy to find you in a compromising position with another woman.”

  I lift Yvie’s chin with my thumb and forefinger and make sure she’s looking at me. “It’s only compromising if we’re doing something wrong. We’re both adults, and the last time I checked we were both very consenting.” I lean forward and place a chaste kiss on her lips. “You practice. I’m going to go do what I do best,” I say as I slap her ass and walk away. She lets out a little yelp, but all I do is chuckle and leave the room.

  I like that Yvie is jealous; it means she cares. I can’t read into her reaction though. It could be as simple as another woman interrupting her time with me. Deep down, I want it to be jealousy. I want her to question the feelings that I’m developing for her, even if she’s not on the same page. She should know that I like her, more than like her actually.

  I help Yvie out of my car, appraising her short, sequined, red dress and heels that make her almost as tall as me. It’s a good thing her brother is here because I have a feeling I’ll be beating off guys with the tables and chairs. I feel a little underdressed compared to her. I’m only in a black button down and slacks. I started to change, but when she told me I looked hot, I didn’t want to disappoint her.

  We walk hand in hand into Ralph’s, tonight’s host for Liam and Josie’s anniversary party. It’s by invitation only, and the guest list is long. Liam uses this as a charity event and invites industry people. Tonight, Beaumont is the place to be. One would think that Liam would have a private party, but his marriage to Josie is a reason for him to celebrate from what I’ve been told.

  Ralph’s has been transformed into a Hollywood hotspot. Strobe lights, mixed with other colored lighting create the atmosphere for tonight. On stage is the hottest DJ on the charts right now and the dance floor is full. As I look around, I realize that Yvie is used to this scene and is dressed perfectly for it. Maybe Hollywood is her next calling because I really can’t see her fitting in Beaumont for an extended period of time.

  Yvie pulls me onto the dance floor, even though I told her that slow dancing was my forte. I’m a white boy with no rhythm and my date is a ballet dancer with a body that doesn’t stop. She’s going to get my ass kicked tonight, guaranteed. Heads turn and eyes follow as we weave through the dancing bodies. When we stop, she turns quickly and places my hands on her hips. I look around, checking to see what other guys are doing. They’re sort of bobbing up and down, and of course the band has all the moves to get the ladies’ attention.

  Yvie doesn’t want me to dance though as she rubs her ass hard against my groin. I groan, thankful that the loud music drowns out my weakness, and grip her hips a bit tighter. She moves, letting the music dictate what her body is doing. Her hands slide up and down my legs as she gyrates against me. She swivels her hips repeatedly until I have no choice but to follow her motions. It’s an erotic display of affection with clothes on and I finally understand why guys do this. It gets you in the mood. Not that I need any help with that lately.

  I’m afraid to let go for fear she’ll move away from me. I loosen my grip, giving her a bit more freedom to maneuver against me. I tear my eyes from her briefly to see others watching, and I’m not sure if I should be enjoying this or not. By the looks on the other guys’ faces, I should be. I’m starting to think each day with her is another fantasy come true, except this wasn’t a fantasy… until now.

  Her head falls back onto my shoulder and I press my mouth against the base of her neck, quickly working my way up to her ear. “You’re making me hard.”

  She chuckles, knowing damn well that she’s turning me on. Yvie continues what she’s doing until the song is over. When she starts to walk away, I grab her and pull her to me. There is no way I can let her leave me just yet, not without a cover.

  We stagger, meaning I walk awkwardly behind her thinking about everything from playing basketball to weight lifting. Except neither of those is doing me any good because I can picture Yvie in a cheerleading outfit, kicking her leg high up in the air and the weight bench… well I’ll never look at another one of those the same again. Yvie somehow finds our friends and family over the mass of people. They look at us, some of them skeptical, and I avoid their gazes. I don’t want to hear questions that I don’t have answers for. Not tonight at least.

  “You two look like you were having a good time out there,” Harrison says before lifting his half-filled glass to his lips, never breaking eye contact. I can’t tell if he’s being serious or what.

  “I knew you were tapping that arse,” Jimmy laughs, earning a slap from Jenna. I shake my head and sit down, opposite Yvie.

  “Where’s Liam?” I direct my question toward Josie, who is looking around. She finally shrugs.

  “He’s working, I guess.”

  I look at Harrison and Jimmy, who aren’t saying anything.

  “So, are you guys a couple?” Katelyn asks, her voice full of happiness.

  I open my mouth to answer, but Yvie beats me to it. “We’re just friends.”

  Ouch. Even though I’ve said it myself many times in my head, hearing her say it out loud hurts a lot worse than I imagined.

  As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I want to take them back. I don’t regret them because we’re not a couple, but I didn’t mean them the way it sounds. I’m somewhat thankful for the muted light drowning out what I’m sure are awkward looks in my direction. I can’t look at Xander because I’m afraid of what I might see. With the amount of time we’ve spent together I know more of his expressions. He’s either happy that I confirmed that we’re only friends, albeit with benefits at the moment, or he’s upset because he wants more. That’s the vibe I got from him when he picked me up at the airport. I ignored the feeling though because I don’t want to make everything awkward between us. I want to have fun and enjoy my self-imposed vacation. And as selfish as it sounds, I want to have fun with Xander. Adding unneeded pressure of what happens next will only dampen our time together. There has to be a time to discuss where each of us stands with what’s going on. For all I know he doesn’t want anything serious, and yes the obvious step is to ask, but I’m afraid of rejection. I also have to acknowledge that a part of me is hiding behind the fun we are having so that I don’t have to make a decision as to what we are right now.

  The waitress stops at our table and takes our orders. I look around the bar and marvel at all the people here to celebrate Liam and Josie’s anniversary. I glance at Josie and have a bit of sympathy for her. Everyone is at the table except for Liam. Her eyes are focused on the beer bottle in front of her and she’s not paying attention to anything going on around her. I turn back to the crowd and look for Liam. There are hundreds of people here, and while they’re industry professionals, his wife should be by his side.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say, before standing. I don’t wait to see if anyone offers to come with me. This isn’t a girls’ trip to the bathroom, although maybe it should be. I meander through the crowd. There are some people I know and we stop and chat. For the most part, I grew up around some of these folks. When my mom worked for Liam’s grandmother, she used to take us to parties at Betty’s house. That was the only time we were allowed to attend though. Betty never cared that Harrison and I were there. She made us feel like family. I’m saddened to think about how much she’s missed since she passed.

  When I spot Liam, I ignore the people near me and make my way over to him. I pull him away from two men th
at I’ve never seen and right now don’t care to meet.

  “Yvie, what the fuck, I was talking to them?” He looks pissed, and I don’t care. His wife, the one he vowed to spend the rest of his life with, is upset, and she should never sulk especially on their anniversary.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I accentuate my point my poking him in the chest.

  Liam looks at me as if he’s confused, but I know better. His dumb rocker persona doesn’t fly with me. Never has, never will.

  “It’s my anniversary; why are you being mean to me?” His tone is brotherly. He’s trying to smooth me over.

  I drop my mouth in surprise. “What’s the anniversary for?”

  “Right, you weren’t here, but I invited you. It’s mine and Josie’s anniversary. We were married on this day.” He flashes his patent Liam Page smile, but I’m not buying it.

  “It is?” I look at him with pure excitement and let him think I’m happy for him. Once he smiles, I scowl at him. “If it’s your anniversary, where the hell is your wife?”

  Liam’s brows furrow as he looks down on me. “What are you talking about? She’s sitting at our table.”

  I slap him across his chest and that earns a few gasps from the people near us. These people are probably calling TMZ right now and gossiping about Liam Page and Harrison James’ sister arguing in the corner, although they’ll likely turn it into a lover’s quarrel.

  “Your wife should be by your side, Liam. I know you’re new to the whole relationship thing, but don’t be dumb. She’s over at the table looking sad and lost. Show her off for fuck’s sake and stop being an ass.” I look behind me quickly and notice that Xander has the same look as Josie. I need to fix my blunder from earlier. I can’t leave him feeling like I don’t care because I do. I don’t know if Liam follows my eyes or not, but when I look back him, he’s glaring at me.

  “You sound like JD.”

  I throw my hands up in the air. “If that’s all you got out of my little rant, then I feel sorry for you.” I walk away, leaving him to figure out his own crap. I have my own to deal with and shouldn’t even meddle in his life, but it pisses me off to see him working the room while Josie sits at the table being a fifth wheel to their friends. She should be by his side, standing there proudly with her husband.

  Instead of going back to the table, I work my way through the crowd in search of the bathroom. Being my first time here, I’m not familiar with the layout, but most bars are the same – near the backdoor for an easy getaway. When I reach the restroom door, I bypass it for the door marked exit. I push it open and take a gulp of the cold air. I need a breather.

  The cold air chills my body temperature and helps me relax. I lean up against the wall and put my head back. Closing my eyes, I imagine that it’s snowing. If I were home in New York, I’d be ice skating or walking down Fifth Avenue with my friends. We’d call it an early night though because of the show. We’d make plans to meet in the morning before rehearsals. There’s nothing like the holiday season in New York City, and I’m sorry that I missed it, but on the other hand I’m thankful because I spent the time with my family, and I needed that.

  As soon as the door opens, I know it’s someone coming to get me. My first thought is Xander and my immediate thought after that is what it’d be like to have him take me against this wall. That shouldn’t be the first thought that crosses my mind. I should want to see him for him, not because of the way he makes me feel during sex.

  When heels appear, I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s Katelyn, who happens to be carrying my clutch, followed by Jenna.

  “Thanks,” I say, as I reach for my clutch. Katelyn stands next to me and Jenna lingers. The only thing missing from this scene are cigarettes and martinis. I sigh, and close my eyes. I don’t want to ask them what they’re doing out here, or why they aren’t with Josie or even the guys.

  “What’s going on with you?” Katelyn asks.

  My eyes fling open. “What do you mean?”

  Katelyn turns to face me. “I know I don’t know you very well, and honestly I’m out here because Harrison said you needed girl time. Jenna and I like our girl time so I told him we’d come check on you.”

  “How’d you know where I was?”

  “Xander knew,” Jenna adds with a shrug. How did he know? Was he following me?

  “Harrison thinks you’re acting strange, and that it has something to do with my question earlier. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot or anything. You and Xander just looked really comfortable together.”

  “It’s fine,” I tell her. I’m not angry or embarrassed. Xander is a catch and wouldn’t be single if he lived in New York or even California. Guys like him, genuine and caring, are hard to come by in the big city.

  “He likes you.” I look at Jenna who shrugs. “He told Jimmy, or that’s what Jimmy said.”

  I roll my eyes. “Jimmy is full of shit, always has been. Xander and I are just having fun.”

  “Is that all you’re having?” Katelyn asks. Her voice is hushed as if someone could hear her. I look around to see who is lurking, but spot no one.

  “Jimmy said you recently broke up with your boyfriend,” Jenna adds.

  “His name is Oliver, and he’s my producer as well. We’ve been off and on for a while, and I just made it off.” I take a deep breath and center myself. “Things with Oliver were good in the beginning. I thought I was in love, but the more time we spent together the more I realized he wasn’t the right man for me. Breaking up though, it’s not that easy when you work with someone. We’d get into a fight, and I’d suddenly be too fat and my hair wasn’t done right.

  “Oliver likes to manipulate me and used my spot as the lead to get me to do what he wants and that’s being with him. When I broke up with him this last time, I boarded a plane. He hasn’t called or texted so I figured he got the gist.”

  “Is that why you’re here and not back in New York, which I might add completely threw your brother for a loop when he saw you guys walk in tonight?” Katelyn asks.

  My shoulders shrug. “I got a text from a friend about Oliver and I thought ‘why waste my time’ and happened to catch Xander before he got too far from the airport. He asked me to be his date tonight.” I trail off, my voice seems sad and I’m not sure why that is.

  “So, what’s the problem?” Jenna asks. Maybe it’s obvious to her that something is wrong. I just don’t know what.

  “I’m not sure,” I say, honestly. “If I could clone myself, I would. I’d go back to New York and stay here and see where things go.”

  “With Xander?” Katelyn asks.

  I nod. “Xander is different. Even in the week we’ve been hanging out, he treats me better than Oliver. But he’s here,” I say, with a shrug.

  The door opens and we all turn our heads. I glance at Katelyn and Jenna, who are both trying to see back inside.

  “You guys go on; I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “You sure?” Katelyn asks with a sisterly concern.

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  As soon as the door shuts, the muffled sound of my cell phone can be heard. Unzipping my clutch, I can’t help but smile at the thought of Xander calling me. He must’ve seen the girls walk back in and wonder about me. I wouldn’t mind if he came out here, we could have some fun. I fumble getting my phone out and end up answering before I can see his face on my screen.

  “I’ve been waiting for you. There’s a nice wall out here that has our name on it.”

  “Does it now? And where would such a wall be since you’re clearly not in your apartment?”

  I close my eyes at the sound of Oliver’s voice and mentally curse my stupid clutch for being just a smidge too small to hold my phone. My heart beats loudly, echoing in my ear.

  “Yvie, answer me.”

  I don’t want to, but he knows I will. “I’m in Beaumont.”

  “You were due home the day after Christmas. Clearly, you’ve met someone.”

  I bite the insid
e of my cheek and nod knowing he can’t see me. “It’s none of your business. We broke up, and you moved on.”

  “On the contrary, my lovely, little ballerina. You tried to break up with me, but I won’t allow it and I don’t know what Lindsay told you, but she’s mistaken.”

  “She saw you with Cami, said that Cami has been practicing in my spot.”

  Oliver laughs, and it chills my bones. “Cami is your understudy. She needs the practice.”

  “In more ways than one, I’m sure.”

  “Such a flippant attitude you have.”

  I roll my eyes and count to ten. “I’m at a party; I need to go. I’ll call you when I get home.”

  “Which will be when? I miss you and need to be with you.”

  I shake my head and don’t answer, ending the call and turning off my phone. I have to be stronger than the person I am when he’s around. I need to be the confident woman I am when I’m with Xander. That woman wouldn’t take Oliver’s shit.

  I look around the gym and count maybe five people in here. A few are the meatheads, the power lifters, hoisting some weights before they go drink themselves into a stupor. Their New Year’s Resolutions will actually start on the second, after they’ve had a day to detox. Tonight, they want the tighter muscles to show through their skintight shirts. It’s a trick all the guys use. Pound out a few reps before you go on a date. When you think you might score, hit the bathroom and get a few push-ups in before you take off your shirt. Girls have been known to do it as well, but with guys it’s obvious.

  It’s been snowing on and off today, creating just enough slush outside that boots are required. Growing up in Florida, I didn’t have many opportunities to see snow until I went off to college. I attended the University of Delaware for physical therapy, and the first time it snowed there I didn’t know what to do. My buddies all laughed at me and took me shopping after class. I had to outfit an entire wardrobe just to get through the cold winters. Shorts and flip-flops weren’t going to cut it. The weather can ruin a lot of plans, and I’m wondering how tonight is going to shape up.