All In The Family

by Roseanne Dowell

  “Oh leave the girl alone.” Aunt Ethel sat down next to Callie. “I have something to talk to you about, dear.”

  Callie put the sandwich on the plate and set it on the table. It was never good when any of the aunts wanted to talk to you. Especially Aunt Ethel.

  “You remember that young fella you dated in high school, Bobby Hansen?”

  “I went out with him twice. I’d hardly call that dating. What about him?”

  “Well.” Aunt Ethel looked at Beatrice Lulu and smiled. “I heard he was moving back to town.”

  “And…?”

  “And he’s widowed.”

  “So?” Callie knew what was coming but damn if she was going to make it easy.

  “So I wrote to him and signed your name.” Aunt Ethel stood and crossed the room.

  “You WHAT?” If Callie could have gotten out of her chair, she’d have choked her aunt.

  “I signed your name. And he wants to see you.”

  “How dare you sign my name? What ever gave you an idea like that? How DARE you?”

  “No need to shout, dear. Beatrice Lulu and Lottie thought it was a good idea. You really need to get out there and socialize, dear.”

  “Aunt Beatrice Lulu and Aunt Lottie thought it was a good idea to write to him and sign my name?” Callie looked at her aunt for confirmation.

  Aunt Beatrice Lulu crossed her arms over her chest, set her legs wide apart and stared her down. “It had to be done and I approved that message.”

  Callie wanted to scream. “I think you’d both better go and leave me alone. I don’t want to say something we’ll all regret.”

  Aunt Beatrice Lulu returned a few minutes later. “Callie, you have a guest.”

  A tall, thin, bald headed man followed her aunt. Callie groaned, and Aunt Beatrice Lulu threw her a murderous look.

  “Walter, this is my niece, Callie Johnson. Callie, dear, this is the man I was telling you about, Walter Hamlin.”

  He shuffled his feet, his lanky body bent as he reached down to shake Callie’s hand. “Nice to meet you. Aren’t you the new police chief?”

  “Thank you. Yes, I am.” Callie’d never felt more uncomfortable with a person in her life.

  Aunt Beatrice Lulu stood there and beamed. “Sit down, Walter. I’ll get you a soda, unless you’d rather have tea.”

  “Coffee if you have it. Thank you.” He crossed the room and sat in the rocker. “So, Callie, what happened? Your aunt tells me you injured your foot.”

  “Yes, someone attacked me, and actually, it’s my knee.”

  “Oh, my. I hope you’re not going to need surgery. Knee surgery is dangerous.”

  Just what she needed to hear. “Hopefully, I won’t need surgery.” Who was this guy and where the heck did her aunt find him? More importanly, how did she get rid of him? At least on blind dates, she could leave.

  Aunt Beatrice Lulu came in with two cups of coffee, set one on the table near Walter and set the other one next to Callie. “I thought you’d rather have coffee with the rolls.” She set a tray of homemade cinnamon rolls on the coffee table.

  She made the best rolls. Of course, Callie couldn’t resist.

  “Well, now. Isn’t this nice?” Aunt Beatrice Lulu sat on the couch. “Walter, tell Callie a little bit about yourself. I met Walter at the bank. He was standing in line behind me. We had such a nice chat.”

  Callie almost groaned again. As usual, her aunt didn’t know a darn thing about Walter. She picked up men in the strangest places – airport, drive-in, dry cleaner. Last one was at the hardware store. She had gone into pick up something for Uncle Ed.

  “Well.” Walter shifted in the chair, took a sip of coffee, and set it down.

  Callie thought she felt uncomfortable. Walter looked like he wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. Her aunt sitting there didn’t help.

  “Well,” he said again. “There’s really not much to tell. I’m a biologist, single, and have my own home.”

  Sounded like a job resume to Callie. She yawned. Aunt Beatrice Lulu threw her a dirty look.

  “I’m sorry, my pain medication makes me sleepy. I’m afraid I just can’t hold my eyes open.” Callie released the brakes on the wheelchair, spun it around, and headed for the bedroom. “Nice to meet you, Walter.” She didn’t stop to see if he replied, didn’t wait for her aunt to push her down the hall. All she wanted was to get away from a very uncomfortable situation.

  Strangely enough, she was tired. What the heck. She had nothing better to do. She set the brakes, stood, spun, sat on the bed and eased her bad leg up, and laid down. Wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

  No more had she woke up and Aunt Beatrice Lulu stood at the doorway. “That was very rude, Callie.”

  “Sorry, but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.”

  “The least you could have done was wait for me to take you back to your room.”

  One would have thought she’d be upset for leaving her with Walter. “I’m not an invalid, Aunt Beatrice Lulu. Nothing wrong with my arms. Besides, I have to keep my strength up somehow.”

  “Well I suppose. Dinner’s ready. Would you like me to help you out of bed?”

  “No, thanks. I can manage.”

  Her aunt stood for a minute and looked at her. Callie thought for sure she’d start a rant, but instead she turned and left the room, mumbling something about her being too damn independent for her own good.

  Chapter 10

  Jim Landry stopped by after dinner. “How ya doing, Callie?”

  “Could be better. I hate being useless. How are things going on the case? Any leads?”

  “Nothin. Not a damn thing. No one was around, so no one saw anything. I told you not to park in that alley. Ain’t safe. You sure you can’t remember something. Anything. Color of his eyes, scars?”

  Callie shook her head. “It all happened too fast. He was on me before I saw him coming. He was a blur. Seems to me there was something about his hand. Only thing I really saw, and that was a blur.”

  “We’ll keep asking around. But to be honest, I don’t think we’re gonna find the guy.”

  “You find anyone to replace Sanders yet?”

  “Nah, the mayor and I think you need to hire someone. He’ll be working for you.”

  Callie had an idea. “Do you think I can conduct my interviews here? It’ll give me something to do. I’m gonna go nuts just sitting around.” Besides, if she was busy working, her aunt couldn’t set her up with the ‘perfect man’.

  “Well now, I don’t see why not. I’ll have Annabelle send a list over, and you can set up your own appointments.”

  “Good. The sooner the better.”

  Suddenly her aunt appeared in the doorway. “Am I interrupting?” That woman moved quieter than a cat following his prey.

  “Uh. No. Actually, I was just fixing to leave.” Jim stood. “I’ll send that list over first thing tomorrow morning. You remember anything else, you know to give me a call.”

  No sooner had Jim left, and Aunt Beatrice Lulu was back. A tall, blond and very handsome man stood behind her. Callie sat up a little straighter. Wow, this one had definite possibilities. Or would, if she hadn’t met William. Still, this was one she might not mind talking to.

  “Callie, this is Bruce Butler. Bruce, my niece, Callie.”

  He glided across the floor, his hips gyrating seductively. A runway model couldn’t have wiggled them better. He shook her hand like a wet dishrag. His blue eyes, the color of cornflowers, sparkled. “Nice to meet you, Callie.”

  His breathy, feminine voice sounded like Marilyn Monroe. Good Lord! Callie glanced at her aunt. Either she hadn’t noticed or didn’t mind. Not sure which. Okay, he might even be a nice guy. But Callie couldn’t get past that voice. It sounded so sissy. Worse, he sat down, crossed one leg over the other and leaned his chin on his hand. A giggle escaped. Rude, but she honestly couldn’t help it. She’d met a lot of guys in her work, but never one like Bruce. Okay, he deserved the benefit of the doubt.
<
br />   “So, Bruce, tell Callie about yourself.” Aunt Beatrice Lulu threw Callie a dirty look. “I met Bruce in the fabric shop. He’s making a quilt. Isn’t that nice? A man who can sew?”

  Bruce leaned back and looked a little more natural. “Yes, well. It’s just a hobby. Something I learned from my grandmother.”

  “How nice.” Quilting? Wasn’t something that interested her. Didn’t know the first thing about putting one together. Hell, she didn’t know the first thing about sewing. Couldn’t thread a needle if her life depended on it.

  “What kind of quilt are you working on now, Bruce?” Apparently her aunt felt compelled to keep the conversation going.

  Bruce, on the other hand, looked uncomfortable with the topic of conversation and ignored her question. “Your aunt tells me you’re the chief of police.”

  “Yes, that’s right.” Okay, it wasn’t an answer that contributed to the discussion. She didn’t particularly want to.

  “Callie’s looking for a new officer.” Again her aunt felt the need to add her two cents.

  “Is that right? How does one go about finding an officer?”

  “The mayor will send a list of applicants. I’ll go through them and decide which ones to interview.” Okay, she wasn’t contributing much to the conversation. She couldn’t help it. That voice just got to her. Besides, even though she’d taken a long nap, she was still tired. The pain medication didn’t help. Callie didn’t even try to stifle her yawn. “You’ll have to excuse me. It’s been a long day and my medication makes me sleepy.”

  Before anyone could respond, she wheeled out of the room. When was her aunt going to learn she wasn’t interested? Apparently, Aunt Beatrice Lulu didn’t believe that she’d met someone. Callie hadn’t spoken to William since the attack. He’d want to visit, and she wasn’t ready for him to meet her family, especially not her aunt. Not that there was anything wrong with them, but they’d interrogate him mercilessly. Was William was ready for that?

  She didn’t have long to wait before Aunt Beatrice Lulu made her appearance. This time Callie wasn’t going to get away with just a mild reproach. Not by a long shot.

  “You, young lady, had better learn some manners. What’s the matter with you Callie? You weren’t raised to be so boorish.”

  No need to reply, her aunt didn’t expect one. She only paused to catch her breath. And she wasn’t finished.

  “This is the second young man you’ve left in a lurch. Do you realize how ill-mannered you appeared? Of course you do. But you just don’t seem to care. It’s not easy finding young men, you know. Bruce was the perfect man for you. He even liked to cook. You can certainly benefit from that trait.” Aunt Beatrice Lulu walked around the room and waved her hands while she spoke.

  Callie pulled the covers over her and sighed. Her eyes could hardly stay open and her aunt rattled on and on. Last thing Callie heard before she fell asleep was something about being an old maid.

  Chapter 11

  The next morning, Callie wheeled into the kitchen. Using the wheelchair was much easier than the crutches. She’d give her aunt that. She poured coffee, took a bagel off the counter, and headed toward the dining room.

  Uncle Ed and her aunt were locked in an embrace. The sounds coming from Aunt Beatrice Lulu were like nothing she’d ever heard before. If ever she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her, this was the time. You couldn’t have fit a strand of hair between them.

  She stopped so quickly the bagel slid off her lap, and her good leg went under the wheelchair. A gasp escaped her mouth.

  It was like a scene out of a movie. Uncle Ed stood. Aunt Beatrice Lulu slid off his lap, fell to the floor and screamed. Floozy jumped onto Callie’s lap, pawing and jumping all over her like a rabid animal. The cat jumped up, scratched Callie’s face, and spilled her coffee over her and the brand new carpeting.

  The welts on Callie’s face developed almost instantly. She tried to push the cat down, but she’d have none of it. She jumped on Callie’s shoulders, slid down to her lap and so did her shirt. Her left breast was exposed for everyone to see. Callie was horrified. How in the hell was she going to recover?

  Aunt Beatrice Lulu pulled herself up on the edge of the table, knocked her juice and coffee cup, her face beat red. Her hands automatically went to her hair, a habit she’d had for years when she was nervous or embarrassed. Not that she was nervous often. Her aunt was the most in control person Callie had ever met. She avoided looking at her.

  Uncle Ed, seemingly unaffected, sat down and let out a loud laugh, “Well, good morning sunshine. How are you today?”

  Her aunt recovered quickly, stood, and hurried to clean up the mess she’d made with the coffee. “Oh for heaven sakes, Ed, can’t you see the girl’s embarrassed. Wouldn’t hurt you to show a little mortification.”

  “For what, kissing my wife? I have a license. Nothing wrong with showing affection. If Callie’s gonna be around here for any length of time, she damn well better get used to it.”

  Callie turned her chair and hurried from the room. The sound of Uncle Ed’s laughter echoed after her. She couldn’t get away quick enough.

  Okay, he was right. Nothing wrong with a kiss, nothing wrong with affection, but there’s kisses and there are kisses. Looked like he was trying to swallow her aunt whole. Not that there was anything wrong with that either. Certainly, neither of them expected her to walk in on them. She over reacted. It just surprised her to see them like that. To see her aunt like that. She’d always been so strait-laced, so prudish. Apparently, her aunt wasn’t as prim as Callie thought.

  At least Uncle Ed didn’t say anything about her exposed breast. How was she going to face him again? The man saw her breast. Okay, call her a prude. She wasn’t in the habit of exposing herself and ignoring it. Never in her life had she wanted to crawl in a hole more. She just wanted to go home. Surely, she could get along there with the wheelchair.

  Fortunately, the doorbell rang before Aunt Beatrice Lulu had time to follow. Jim Landry appeared in the doorway.

  “I brought the lists of applicants. Thought we could go through them together since I know most of them. It’ll still be your decision.”

  “Thanks, Jim. I appreciate that.” Finally, something to keep her occupied and, hopefully, out of Aunt Beatrice Lulu’s focus. Surely, her aunt wouldn’t bring anyone around while she was interviewing, would she?

  Jim followed Callie to her room, pulled out the list of names and sat down in the only chair in the bedroom. Callie pulled her wheelchair next to him. It would be more comfortable in the living room, but no way was she going anywhere near Uncle Ed. Besides, Aunt Beatrice Lulu was bound to come in and nose around. Didn’t need the whole town to know what was going on.

  Jim handed Callie an application. “This here’s Josh Wilton. Good man. Bit young, but we all got to start somewhere. Works over in Northton. Passed the academy last year.”

  “Then there’s Milt Foley. Been with Reed Valley for three years. Wants to relocate. Wife’s family is from Smytheville. Another good man. And finally there’s Sam Vansworth. He just graduated the academy. No experience to speak of.”

  She glanced at all the applications. “Thanks, Jim. I’ll give them each a call and set up the interviews. I appreciate you helping out.”

  Aunt Beatrice Lulu suddenly appeared in the doorway. “My goodness, Callie, you know better than to entertain guests in your bedroom. Especially males.” She turned her attention to Jim. “Come in the living room for heaven’s sake.”

  Jim stood. “I was just leaving anyway, Mz Eberhardt.”

  “No need to rush off on my account,”

  “Not rushing off. Just finished with my work and going fishing.”

  “Well come into the living room for a cup of coffee at least. I made those good Italian cookies you love.”

  “Well now, can’t refuse them, can I?”

  “Coming Callie?” Aunt Beatrice Lulu motioned for her to follow.

  “Huh? Oh no, I’ve got wo
rk today.”

  “Nonsense. Come along. You have all day to work.” Her aunt got behind her chair and pushed her through the door. Not much Callie could do to stop her. Like it or not, she was going to the living room. Didn’t take long to discover why.

  Another of Aunt Beatrice Lulu’s men sat on the couch, waiting to meet her. Callie groaned. Had to admit he was kind of cute with his crew cut, sandy blond hair, high cheekbones and long straight nose. But his skinny lips turned Callie off, especially when he smiled. His large yellowed teeth were crooked. She had a thing about teeth. Not sure why, maybe because she worked for a dentist during her high school years. Not to mention his big, round brown, almost black eyes. Reminded her of cow eyes. Okay, she was being overly critical. But seriously, what was her aunt thinking bringing all these men for her to meet. Especially after Callie told her about William.

  “Jim, this is Carl Hammesfar. Carl, our former police chief, Jim Landry and my niece, the new police chief, Callie Johnson.”

  “Howdy.” Jim reached his hand out and shook Carl’s hand.

  Aunt Beatrice Lulu couldn’t have stopped the wheelchair any closer to Carl without dumping Callie in his lap. Callie smiled. Partly because her aunt was so obvious, and partly at the discomfort Carl showed. He ran his fingers along the collar of his shirt and slid his hands in his pockets. Callie eased the chair back, turned and rolled across the room, picked up a cookie and shoved it in her mouth. She couldn’t think of a thing to say to Carl, nor did she want to.

  “Carl works at the bank.” Aunt Beatrice Lulu beamed as if that was a great accomplishment. Had she said president or even vice president of the bank, she might have been impressed. But a lot of people worked at the bank. Nothing spectacular about that. Nothing wrong with it. It was an honest living. Just didn’t see the significance in it.

  Obviously, Callie was supposed to remark on his occupation that Aunt Beatrice Lulu found so impressive. Good grief, first quilting now the financial world. Only thing she could think of was the horrible economy. “So have you foreclosed on anyone lately?”