Shatter Me

by Anna Howard

  “Make that two!”

  My heart stops at the sound of his deep, gravelly voice and I stand there for a long moment trying to get myself under some semblance of control. But he squeezes in beside of me at the crowded bar and our shoulders brush, making my heart start once more; this time at the speed of a runaway train.

  Keith’s shot is put in front of him and I force myself to turn and face him. “To the lovely birthday girl.” He says and we down our shots.

  I practically slam the shot glass down on the bar top. When the bartender raises a brow to ask if I want another I shake my head. Too much alcohol around this man and I will be in big, big trouble. I pick up my water and attempt to rehydrate.

  “Nice, dress.” Keith comments, moving closer so that he doesn’t have to shout to be heard over the music. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of seeing it before.”

  I shrug. “It was a gift.” Is all the explanation I give.

  “Someone has good taste. Where the panties a gift too?”

  I blink, thinking that I have just heard pure venomous jealousy in his deep voice. But then I realize that it his him being a dick and turn a glare on him. “Yes! And so was the bra.”

  His gaze zooms in on my chest, notices the lack of said bra and darkens. “Of course it was.” He grits his teeth.

  My blond brows raise. “Why are you even here?” I demand. “After what happened at Christmas I thought I would never have to see you again.” I had feared never seeing him again even as I had wished him to the darkest parts of hell!

  “Let’s get out of here and I’ll tell you all of my reasons for being here.” He promises me, his voice sounding seductive now; his eyes dark with something other than anger.

  “Tell you what. You get out of here, I go back to my party and then we will both be happy.” I smile sweetly up at him for a second before letting it turn back into my glare and start to walk away.

  A big, long fingered hand catches my elbow and I am turned back around to face him. “If you won’t leave with me, then at least dance with me.”

  No, no, no. NO!

  Dance with him? With alcohol coursing through my blood? I would have to be insane to even think about it. I wouldn’t be able to hide anything from him then. Not my feelings and definitely not my needs. “I already have a dance partner.” I tugged on my arm, trying to get free of him.

  Keith smiles and nods his head in the direction of the dance floor. “Looks like lover boy has flown the coop.”

  I look over at the dance floor and find that Blake is no longer there. A quick glance up at the balcony shows me that he has taken a break and is laughing with Hunter. I nearly stamp my foot in frustration. “I don’t want to dance with you!”

  “Too bad!” He pulls me further out onto the dance floor until we are swallowed up by the other dancers. The music changes from a pounding techno to a slow, seductive song.

  Around me couples are moving into each other’s arms and there is a new sexual tension in the air. Oh, hell! Sexual tension in the air, alcohol in my blood and Keith holding me close.

  But there is a part of me, that incredibly stupid part, which is already welcoming all of this. I want to be in his arms so desperately.

  Keith pulls me closer and as our gazes lock I melt into the rhythm of the music. Our fingers link and we move as one. The beat increases, and my heart pounds in time with it, my breathing growing shallow. I can smell that rich heady scent that is his alone. It is dark and spicy and…Keith!

  My nipples harden as they rub against his chest. My breasts are swollen and aching and lower liquid desire has pooled.

  One of his hands abandons mine and wraps around my waist. As the music grows more intense that big hand skims over the silky material of my tiny dress and down over my hips. I can’t stifle the small cry that escapes my mouth. With our eyes still locked there is no way he cannot see just how much I want him blazing in my own.

  His hand on my hip gives a firm squeeze and my lower body is pressed firmly against his lower abdomen. Something hard pulses against my stomach and I know just how much he wants me. “Kari..!”

  The way he says my name leaves me weak with wanting and I am going under in a fog thick with my desire for this man. My mouth grows dry and I can’t even blink as we continue to dance for fear of breaking eye contact. Of breaking this spell that he has me under.

  “Let’s get out of here.” He says.

  I am ready to follow him to the ends of the earth if only I can be his! And just as I begin to give in and tell him just that, Bianca starts calling my name.

  “Kari! It’s time for the cake!”

  I slowly raise my head and find my bestie waving frantically from the balcony of the VIP floor. “Kari!”

  Seeing her is like having a bucket of iced water dumped over me. I pull back from Keith. “I have to go.”

  “No!” His left hand is still linked with my right. “Forget about them. Come with me.”

  For a moment I nearly give in. But the episode at Christmas flashes across my mind and I shake my head. “I can’t. Go find Eliza. I’m not interested.”

  “Would you just listen to me?” He follows after me as I head for the stairs. “Kari, please.”

  The please nearly undoes me. I stop and glare up at him in the middle of the dance floor. “You have some nerve, you know that? You couldn’t get rid of me fast enough back in December. I disgust you, remember?”

  “I didn’t mean it! I was just protecting you. And me…” He rakes a hand through his dark hair. “You are so tempting, Kari. And I was so weak then. If I hadn’t done something to get you away at the time…Do we have to have this conversation here?” He glances at the surrounding dancers who seemed more concerned with our conversation than the music.

  “No. In fact we don’t need to have this conversation at all. I’m through.” I brush past him and practically run up the stairs to the second floor.

  Bianca is waiting for me at the top and pulls me into the group already standing around a table with a huge cake and twenty-one blazing candles lit. A chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ nearly deafens me and I force a smile to my face.

  Hunter drapes an arm around my shoulders as my friends sing and I lean into him for a brief moment, needing my step-brother’s strength for a minute. As the song ends and I bend to blow out my candles Keith appears across the table. “Make a wish.” He says.

  I close my eyes and think about what I really want the most and blow.

  Chapter 4

  I have forgotten to close the blinds in my bedroom.

  Warm spring sunshine peeks through my curtains and across my eyes. I moan and pull my extra pillow over my head. After the party last night, which had lasted until well after midnight, all I want to do is sleep. But I have obligations and I need to get in the shower so I can deal with the thousand and one things that need to be dealt with.

  I sit up, glare at the clock on the nightstand that tells me it is only seven thirty and head for the shower.

  Fifteen minutes later, with a damp towel wrapped around my body and tooth brush still in my mouth I go to the kitchen and start the coffee pot. Christian is just coming out of Bianca’s room as I pass it. “Morning.” He grumbles without giving me a second look.

  “Morning.” I grumble back, still not happy to be up so early myself.

  I have just rinsed my mouth out when the security com buzzes. I hear Christian’s low voice saying something and then it is quiet once more. After drying my hair I pull on black dress pants and a white sleeveless turtle neck and step into my favorite checker board heels. Forgoing a jacket I grab my briefcase and phone and head out without even bothering with makeup.

  As I am filling my ToGo mug with strong black coffee the doorbell rings. Christian, who has probably rejoined Bianca in bed is nowhere to be seen. Sighing I gather my things and open the door.

  A florist delivery man is standing at my front door. “Kari Brandon?”

  “Yes…” I am almost hes
itant to answer. Who delivers flowers this early? And why would they be sending them to me?

  “Sign here please.” The man who looks bored and a little grumpy has a receding hair line and a beer gut. He is popping gum and really beginning to get on my nerves even before I have finished signing my name.

  “I don’t understand.” I tell him, not trying to hide my annoyance. “Who has sent me flowers and where exactly are they anyway?” I peek out into the hall and find the corridor deserted except for the delivery man.

  “On their way up in the service elevator miss.” He tears off the top sheet of paper that I have just signed and hands it over. “Couldn’t get them all up in the other.”

  I blink. “What?”

  But just then the service elevator at the end of the hall opens and two other men start extracting dozens and dozens of roses from inside. Yellow roses, pink roses, red and white roses. I gasp and step back to give the men room as they begin placing the beautiful flower filled crystal vases around the apartment. They move quickly and within ten minutes nearly every flat surface is covered in sweet smelling flower arrangements.

  But I still have no clue who has sent them.

  Heart pounding I reach for the card sticking out of the closest arrangement. Fingers trembling I pull it out of its envelope and blink once more.

  Dinner?

  That’s all it says. Nothing more. And it isn’t even signed. Biting my lip I read the next card. We need to talk.

  I am beginning to suspect exactly who has sent all the flowers and I don’t know whether to be shocked, thrilled or angry.

  There are three more cards and I gather them up, tip the delivery men generously and head into the office. I can’t even think about what the other three cards might say because I am already running late for my first appointment.

  Thirty minutes later I arrive at Winthrop Charities. I greet the receptionist with a distracted smile and continue on to the second floor. I took over for my mother, who had been the founder and president of Winthrop Charities. Hunter had nearly forced the job onto me, knowing that my mother would have wanted me to take over where she had so suddenly left off.

  When I step out of the elevator onto the second floor I am greeted immediately by my secretary whom I have also inherited from my mother. Rachel is a thirty something divorcee who is perfect at her job. She kept my working life in such wonderful order than at times I wish she could do the same for my personal life.

  I hand over my briefcase and she gives me a handful of messages that need my immediate attention. “Your nine o’clock is already hear. But I put him in the conference room.”

  I frown. “Why would you do that?” I ask distracted when I see that one of the messages is from Keith and another is from Blake.

  “Because it looks like a florist threw up tulips in there.” Rachel calmly explains as I open my office door and discover that I barely have enough room to get to my desk.

  Once more I am in a jungle filled with flowers. This time it is tulips, which are one of my favorite flowers. There is only one card among the many flower filled vases and I snap it up without bothering to read it. Muttering curses under my breath I turn, slam the door to my office and turn in the direction of the conference room.

  I have to think about work and get through the day. Then…Then I will deal with my annoying stepbrother.

  But three hours later, as lunch time descends on me and I finally have time to breath I find myself glaring once more down at the four cards. Bighting my lip I pull the top one out of its envelope and scan it.

  I know you are mad. But try to give me a chance.

  You mean more to me than you realize. Said the next card.

  I know you are crazy about me.

  I ball the third card up and toss it into the trash can. Arrogant, self-centered…Completely right asshole!

  Finally I extract the last card, the one that had come with all of the tulips and sit back with a gasp. I am going out of my mind thinking about you. I need you! ~Keith~

  I sit there for the longest time, my trembling fingers brushing across the words that have completely shut me down.

  I need him too!

  I had only been deluding myself last night. Every promise that I had made to myself had flown out of the window when Keith had shown up at my party. I didn’t end up giving Blake a chance after all. And sure as hell had not lost my virginity.

  Even as Blake was saying goodnight to me early this morning with a light kiss across my lips I was thinking about Keith and how I wanted to be back on the dance floor with him.

  Even my wish as I was blowing out my candles the night before had been for Keith! I want him to be mine, had whispered through my mind as I had blown out the twenty one blazing candles.

  “Damn it!” I push away from my desk and raise to my feet. I feel suffocated from all of the flowers crowding me and the raging feelings boiling inside of me.

  “Rachel?” I call out as I gather my briefcase.

  She is instantly at my office door. “Yes, Kari?”

  “Do I have anything pressing that can’t wait until Monday?” I ask.

  “No. You are free tomorrow. But you do have a dinner to attend Saturday night for the new Children’s Wing at the hospital.” She reminds me.

  “Good. Use your magic and hold down the fort until Monday. I have something urgent that needs taking care of.” I glare around at the many, many flowers. “And have all of these dreadful flowers sent over to one of the nursing homes. I’m sure there are some old ladies who will enjoy them more than I ever will.”

  “Right away.” Rachel grins at me. “What should I do with the chocolate?”

  I turn, completely surprised by her question. “What chocolate?”

  “The three boxes of white chocolate and caramel truffles that just arrived.” She points to the large white and gold boxes on the edge of her desk.

  I groan. Caramel truffles are my favorite. But no! I am not going to be swayed by expensive chocolates!!! I am not.

  Summing all my will power I ignore the boxes as I pass them. “Share them among the other women.” I tell her even as my mouth waters at the thought of the sinfully delicious sweets going untouched by me.

  “Well, you just gained a group of followers.” Rachel laughs as she lifts the lid of the top box while I wait for the elevator. “There’s a note. Do you want it?”

  “NO!” I practically shout as the elevator doors open. “Tear it up and throw it away.”

  “Right away!” She calls after me, tearing the little card to shreds as I step into the elevator.

  

  I don’t go home. Instead I take a cab to my father’s house in the Hamptons. His other house, just outside of the city is too close to things I want to get away from. I love the Hampton house. There are so many good memories here. Most of them of me and my father playing on the beach.

  I breathe a sigh of relief as I sit on the back deck overlooking the beach. Mrs. Dean, the housekeeper who has been around since my father was in diapers is the only soul around. She has spent most of the evening making me homemade cookies and the sweetest lemonade known to man. I am just starting to relax when my phone starts ringing.

  It’s Bianca. But I know she is just calling to yell at me. She probably thinks that I am going to give in to all the romantic gestures that Keith has been doing all day. The flowers, the chocolates…the incredible message on the card with the tulips.

  And I don’t want to argue with her, because I know deep down that I am giving in. I just don’t want to deal with it right now. I don’t want to admit to even myself that I am half an inch away from falling into Keith’s arms…Or, and I suspect it is all he wants, ready to fall into his bed.

  The call goes to voice mail and within seconds an alert tells me there is a message. But it isn’t the end of it. I get three rapid fire text messages. Can I get no peace? I think angrily as I reach over to turn the damned thing off.

  But as I start to turn it off one of
the messages is still up on the screen.

  Keith is HERE!!!

  I bite my lip, not sure what to do. Heart pounding I fight with myself. Call? Turn off the phone like I should have already done? Groaning I pull up the text messages. The other two tell me that my bestie is concerned about me and wants to know where I am. Belatedly I remember that we are supposed to have a girl’s night out tonight.

  Going MIA for a few days. Do what u want with K & flowers. Not interested!

  Of course the last part is a lie and my gut clenches even as I hit send. But nearly as soon as it is gone I get a smiley face back in response from Bianca. Rolling my eyes I toss the phone aside without bothering to turn it off. I am sure that Bianca will leave me in peace unless something important comes up and Keith does not have my cell number as far as I know.

  Finally I am able to close my eyes in peace.

  

  Friday I have all to myself. I spend it just being lazy on the back porch and taking care of a few e-mails for Winthrop Charities. When I get back to the city on Saturday morning I am so relaxed that I don’t even roll my eyes when I find Christian sprawled out on the sofa when I get back to the apartment.

  “Hey, beautiful!” He greets as I pass on my way to drop off my things in my room.

  “Hey.” I give him a grin. “Enjoying your Saturday off?”

  “I would be if I weren’t dreading having to go back to Japan on Monday.” He sighs. “I hate having to work for my living.”

  I snort. Christian Marshall didn’t have to work a day in his life if he chose not to. He comes from money as big and old as the Winthrop’s. But he had also drifted away from his family’s business ventures and had gotten into a few of his own. At twenty nine he was already a millionaire within his own right. “Yeah, it must be hard.” I call over my shoulder.

  I toss my things on my bed and change clothes before grabbing my phone and wallet. I have to go to a Charity dinner tonight which Winthrop Charities is a big part of and I have nothing to wear.