Shifting Again

by Shifting Again (ant

  Supper came, the boys both being so tired from their day that they slept through it. Peedie was awake and surprisingly calm for once, content to lie in her basket and stare up at the ceiling. Erlend had half a mind to put some stars or something on the ceilings of the five rooms of the house, just so that she'd have something to look at to keep her occupied. But she seemed happy enough, one hand in her mouth, the other one grabbing her toes.

  "What are you?" Erlend finally asked as he carried the supper dishes over to the sink. This meal, as with the previous two, Ronan had attacked his food with the same delight.

  "Selkie," Ronan answered tiredly, leaning back so that his head rested on the back of the kitchen chair. "Have you heard of the Finfolk?"

  "Tricksters. My gran said they were troublemakers, all of them, nothing but sea demons," Erlend replied promptly. At his answer, Ronan actually sat up and opened his eyes.

  "The Finfolk are, but they aren't any different than the selkies," Ronan said, resting his chin on his hand. "Your people are from the Norse lands and so are mine. But your Norsemen thought that the Saami, my people, were sorcerers and shapeshifters, so they drove us to the ocean."

  "But you were shapeshifters," Erlend pointed out as he dried off the dishes. "You turned into seals."

  Ronan looked like he was about to disagree before he nodded reluctantly. "I'll give you that. But we weren't evil, like the Norsemen thought. We were just...different."

  Once he finished drying the few supper dishes, Erlend put them back in the cupboard and then took his seat at the table. "So you still live in the ocean? Why don't you just come back to land? It's not as if there isn't enough to go around on the islands." It's true that some mainlanders were moving to Orkney, drawn by the history and mythology of the islands. But more and more of the old blood were leaving with each generation, tired of working tourism jobs or on the farms. God knew that the fishing had dried up years ago, thanks to the commercial fisheries.

  "The old magic still keeps us there. We can come to land on certain days of the year, and if someone steals our skins, we're bound to the land, but we can't come and go as we please." Ronan sounded so old at that moment, to the point that Erlend wondered what his age really was. "There aren't any sorcerers alive left to break the magic. And most of my kin aren't sure they would want to come back in the first place."

  "But you still come to shore," Erlend pointed out. "There haven't been any new stories in years, but the lore is still alive."

  Ronan dropped his hands to his lap, staring at them. "My mother was half-human," he said quietly. "When my gran went back to the sea, she took her children with her. But that was years ago. I don't think any still remember us here." He stood suddenly, stretching. "It's late, and my body isn't used to this, yet..." the selkie said, still not meeting Erlend's eyes. "Should I take the couch tonight?"

  When Erlend began to protest, Ronan smiled at him, still not looking at him. "We can argue over it tomorrow. Good night."

  As Ronan disappeared into the front room, Erlend shook his head. "I don't know what to think," he told Peedie as he picked up her basket. Her eyes crossed as she tried to focus on his face. "Why do I do these things, eh, Peedie? Your mam always kept me out of trouble." He closed his eyes, leaning against the wall. "We've all got a lot to learn, I suspect."

  ***

  He was surprised to find two small bodies in bed with him when he woke up the next morning. "He's not going to be our new mam," Bryn asked as soon as he noticed Erlend was awake. "Is he, Da?"

  Kieran snuggled up to him on his other side. "We don't need someone here to help us," his elder son added, tucking his head beneath Erlend's chin. "We can get on just fine, us 'n Peedie."

  Erlend wrapped an arm around each boy, holding them tight for a moment. "I know we can do just fine," he said, his voice shaking. "And Ronan knows, too. But we're going to need a little help for a while, and he's here to be that help." He sat up, bringing both boys up with him. He looked at each of them, more serious even than when he had to break the news that Kirsten was dead. "This is to help your da out. You two have each other, and Peedie has all of us, but I need someone to help me for a little while." When Kieran opened his mouth to protest, Erlend squeezed him a little. "He's not going to replace your Mam. He can't anyway, since he's a boy, not a girl." That at least got a little giggle out of the boys. "Can you imagine him in a dress?"

  "He would look silly," Kieran admitted with a watery smile.

  He leaned over to kiss both boys' foreheads. "I just ask you to mind him as you mind me or any of your aunties and uncles. And if you want to talk to him about your mam, go ahead. I don't want you to forget, because if you forget, who'll tell Peedie about her?"

  His sons were quiet for a little while. Erlend looked up, not surprised to see Ronan peeking in the doorway. The selkie actually flushed a little, the first sign of embarrassment that he'd shown.

  "We're a family," Erlend said, his eyes on Ronan. "We're here to help each other, even if it's only for a little while. So why don't we try to get along, aye?"

  "Aye, Da," came the boys responses. Maybe it would work out after all.

  ***

  It was the fourth day before his mum called, worried. "There hasn't been a word from you four since Saturday. Are you sure you're all right?" He could hear the anxiety in her voice, which meant she was one step from walking the half-kilometer to their cottage and finding out for herself.

  Erlend looked over his shoulder at the kitchen where Kieran was showing Ronan how to make toast and Bryn was amusing Peedie by dangling a string over her basket. "Everything's fine, Mum. I promise." Ronan had only burned his hands twice warming up Peedie's bottle and Erlend had actually caught him giving Bryn an almost fond look yesterday morning. Kieran still for the most part ignored the selkie and Peedie couldn't tell the difference between people, so long as someone held her. "We'll come down for supper tonight." At that, Ronan gave him a panicked look and opened his mouth to protest. Erlend raised a hand to shush him.

  "I worry, Erlend. You know that. You’re my wee laddie and I can't help wondering if--" His mum's voice caught in her throat. "Come for supper."

  Even before he had hung up the phone, Ronan was already protesting. "I will not be dragged to your mam's like some housewife!" All that was missing was the hard stamp of the foot. Erlend covered his mouth, trying to hide a laugh. "What?"

  Erlend shook his head. "Nothing. You don't have to go." Apparently his mind thought of it at the same time as Ronan's, who began to look guilty. "Second thought, just to make sure you don't burn the place down, maybe you should go with us."

  "I'll not look for my skin," Ronan said quietly, his jaw clenched.

  "I'm sorry that I don't trust you, yet," Erlend answered back in an equally soft voice.

  "Gran and Gramps are nice," Bryn added, tugging on Ronan's hand. "Gramps might look like he'll eat you up, but he's not a wolf. There aren't any more wolves here. Teacher says so."

  "What're you going to tell them?" Ronan asked later as they trudged down the road to the main farmhouse. They could've piled into the car, but Erlend figured they could use the walk to calm down a bit.

  "That you're a friend Kirsten and I knew from university. Mum and Dad have only been as far as Inverness, so you needn't worry about them knowing anything about Glasgow."

  Ronan snorted. "Considering my grand knowledge of a city I've never been to. What if they ask questions about it?"

  Erlend shrugged. "I could tell them you're dumb and can't speak."

  As it turned out, Erlend didn't have to wait for his parents to ask. Bryn blurted it out as soon as they got to the door. "Da found a selkie, Gran! And he's gonna help us with Peedie!"

  Erlend's mum shot him a questioning look. Erlend tried his best to smile casually and shrug. "Bairns."

  His mum snorted, "Bairns indeed," and ushered them inside.

  Throughout the meal, his parents were careful not to ask Ronan any questions beyond "how long do you inte
nd to stay?" and "have you been to the islands before?" Ronan managed to answer both without glaring at Erlend too much. Even Kieran seemed supportive of Ronan, chiming in that the selkie was going to stay with them as long as they needed him.

  "Which is forever'n ever!" Bryn said, grabbing Ronan's hand.

  His mum and dad exchanged a long look, which was never a good thing.

  After a tense enough evening, Erlend's dad showed them to the door. Ronan wandered on ahead, Bryn and Kieran clutching his hands.

  "You needn't make up some story so that folk will accept him," his dad said suddenly. "They might wonder at not even waiting until your wife was cold in the ground, but no one expects you to be alone forever."

  "Dad, I'm not--" He looked at Ronan's backside, the long hair swinging behind him as the boys dragged him along. "He's a selkie, Dad. I stole his skin from the shore after the funeral. I can't--" He rubbed at his eyes with his free hand.

  His mum came up to stand in the doorway with them, chuckling. "Only you, lad," she said, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Only you would find the first selkie in thirty years and bring him home."

  His dad looked from Ronan to Erlend and back again. "A selkie? Y'sure about that, boy?"

  Erlend laughed. "If I hadn't seen him drop the seal-skin with my own eyes, Dad, I wouldn't be."

  Ronan turned back then, watching them clustered in the doorway. "Are we going home ourselves or staying here for the night?" the selkie called across the yard. "You aren't leaving me alone with these two."

  "Coming!" Erlend called back, kissing both his mum and his dad's cheeks. He ran after his family as fast as he could.

  ***

  A week passed, and then two. Halfway through the third week, they'd fallen into a routine of sorts. He and Ronan still switched off every night, one taking the bed and one taking the couch. To compensate, whoever got the bed had Peedie duty. At the end of the first week, his mum dropped a bottle warmer off "so that man of yours doesn't burn down the house one night". Ronan altered between looking startled by the gift and angry at the suggestion. Erlend just shook his head and let it go, knowing that people would think what they wanted to think.

  And apparently the neighbors were already beginning to think it. After three weeks of solitude and isolation, his sisters were beginning to chafe at the bit. Anna was the first to come by in that third week, not even bothering to ring first. Erlend was in his office, going over the breeding histories of some of the farm's cattle when he heard the knock at the door. And because it was at the back door and not the front, he knew it had to be family. Family never bothered to go around to the front of the house. Half of the time, he was lucky if they knocked at all.

  "Da! It's Auntie Anna!" Bryn called from the kitchen, where he and Kieran were watching something on the television with Ronan.

  With a sigh, Erlend pushed his chair back from his desk and went into the kitchen. "Hullo, Sis," he said as Anna hugged him tight, kissing his cheek.

  "That's the man, then?" she demanded in response. She nodded at Ronan and smiled. "Hullo there, nice to meet you, if you'll excuse us..."

  Erlend let himself be dragged back into the office, not surprised to see Anna shut the door behind them.

  "Mum said you had a man in your house. Bloody hell, Erlend. Don't you remember what happened to that head of social work just last year?" Of his four sisters, Anna had always been the most protective of the lot, especially since she was the oldest and he was the second-youngest and the only boy. Throughout Kirsten's stay in the hospital, Anna had pretty much been by his side, watching the boys to make sure they didn't get into any trouble and to make sure that Erlend ate and slept and actually looked at the new baby.

  "Dammit, Anna, it's not like that!" He began to pace about the small room, trying to avoid the desk in the corner and the couch under the window. "We're not sharing a bed, if that's what you're asking. And we're certainly not--"

  "So he's just a replacement for your dead wife?" she asked softly, knowing him all too well. "If he's one of your chums from university, why hasn't he gone back, yet? Your in-laws left days ago, not that you paid them any attention." Anna reached up, brushing his hair out of his eyes just as she used to when he was small. "Erlend, we worry about you. This isn't healthy. And it's not Glasgow, where something like that might be okay."

  "Anna, for the love of God--" Erlend stared down at her, wondering his undefeatable big sister became so small and fragile-looking. She had the same sturdy dark build that all his sisters had, but none of the Kirkness height that the rest of them inherited. "He's here to help me with the children," he repeated, not sure if he was trying to convince himself or Anna.

  "Are you sure?" she asked in the same quiet tone.

  "He's mine, and he'll never leave me," he said finally. "He can't leave me. I have his skin, so he'll have to stay forever--"

  Anna wrapped her arms around his middle, drawing his head down to rest on her shoulder. "Shhh, Moppy, shhh." She rubbed circles in his back the same way she used to when he was a boy. When he finally quieted down, she pulled back from him with a small laugh. "Look at those tears lippering over those eyes," she said, wiping at her own face.

  When he attempted at smiling back, she gave him a squeeze. "So you really think he's a selkie come to shore?" Her eyes were serious this time.

  "You were always the ones asking for the tales," Erlend said, "not me. But I saw him leave his skin, and I snatched it up, just like the stories said."

  "And now he's stuck with you until you release him." Anna looked at the closed door and sighed. "Baby brother, how do you manage these things?"

  He chuckled a little. "Kirsten always said I needed someone to keep me in line." He looked at the door too, picturing Ronan there, his long hair falling into his face as he watched the television with the same intensity as Bryn or Kieran.

  "Just watch yourself, aye?" Anna took his hand, squeezing it. "We're here to help you, Erlend. You know that, right?"

  He nodded, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I know. I promise."

  She left not long after, pausing only to make small talk with Ronan and kiss each of the boys farewell. "You'll come down to the house soon for tea or supper," she reminded Erlend, glancing at Ronan as she left. "And you'll remember what I said."

  "Aye, Miss Bossy-pants," he replied, smirking slightly.

  "Watch your tongue, Moppy," she sassed back, lightly smacking him on the arm. "I expect you to keep him in line, Ronan," she called as she headed down the back steps to her car.

  "Moppy?" Ronan failed miserably at hiding his smile.

  Erlend rolled his eyes. "I had a stuffed rabbit when I was even littler than Bryn, so the girls and Mum decided to call me Moppy and it stuck..."

  Ronan snorted. "That's one bit that I won't forget." He leaned in close, breathing in Erlend's ear. "Moppy."

  Erlend could feel his warm breath against his neck, resisting the urge to turn his head closer. "Little seal," he muttered back, nudging Ronan with his shoulder.

  Ronan laughed. "I guess I deserved that."

  ***

  When the boys were asleep that night, Ronan got up to go to the office, since it was his turn.

  "Wait," Erlend called out.

  Ronan paused in the doorway. "If this is about Moppy this afternoon--" the selkie began.

  Erlend shook his head. "It's not fair, making you take the couch half the nights," he began, not sure where his mouth was going with this.

  "So you're giving me the bed permanently?" Ronan's mouth curved up into a half-smile.

  "Half of it." Erlend rushed on. "It's a large bed, and neither of us take up all of it, and there's no sense losing sleep every other night when I go back to work soon--" He looked down at his hands, clenched in his lap. "Which we haven't talked about, either."

  Ronan made his way back to the table, taking the seat across from Erlend. "You aren't letting me have my skin anytime soon, are you?" the selkie asked finally.

  Erlend r
aised his head, not surprised to see the miserable look on Ronan's face. "No," he answered quietly, feeling even worse than Ronan looked. "I can't."

  Ronan gave a short laugh. "I understand. The lore teaches us that the price for dancing on land is the risk of getting caught. And you did catch me."

  Erlend reached out a hand, covering one of Ronan's. "You're all right with it?"

  "All right? I can't say that I'm pleased with it, but I accept it." As Erlend's face fell, Ronan continued in a rush, "Not that I mind it. You don't beat me, you haven't forced me, and your wee ones are pleasant enough when you get used to them."