Compulsive Fascinations

by N. Isabelle Blanco

  “Come here, baby,” he coaxed in that whiskey voice of his. Cupping the back of my neck, he urged me to move over him. “I want you on my tongue.”

  I didn’t register his meaning until he’d turned me around and made me straddle his face. His cock stood ramrod stiff before me, glistening with my saliva. I throbbed as I stared at it.

  A low growl rumbled from Calum as he grabbed my ass roughly with both hands. “Look at you.” His first lick made every muscle in my lower body tighten and quiver. His second one made me gush, my clit swelling with the beginnings of my next orgasm. “God. You fucking love sucking on me. Get so wet.”

  I spread my legs and lowered my pussy fully onto his mouth, shivering when my nipples pressed into his lower abs. “Baby. Going to come in your mouth.”

  He set in with another growl, rubbing his tongue into my clit with desperate strokes. Palming the back of my head, he forced me down onto his cock, murmuring against my swollen flesh, “Make me come with you.”

  I grabbed onto his shaft with one hand and his balls with the other. Sucking him back into my mouth, I set in with a harsh rhythm, whimpering around his length, delirious.

  “Uhhh, baby.” The vibration of his moan shot through my clit and up my spine. Calum rotated his hips up toward my mouth, sliding his thumb inside me. “Will never get tired of this.” I nearly screamed around his dick when he started sucking softly on my clit, his thick lips teasing my folds.

  His other thumb slid between my ass cheeks, finding my back entrance.

  Bliss. Overload. Too much sensation.

  Not enough.

  I mewled his name brokenly, moving my head faster.

  “Yeah, that’s it, Liv. Take my cum, baby.”

  I sucked harder, frenzied, my hips rocking over his wicked mouth and fingers.

  The tip of his thumb slid into my ass right as he thrust his other thumb roughly into my pussy.

  I started to come, instantly, my scream muffled by his length sliding in and out of my mouth. My vision went black, my hips twisting on his tongue.

  Calum’s cock thickened inside my mouth, his balls so tight it had to be painful. “Take it. All of it. Coming for you, Liv.”

  Another wave rushed through me, my walls collapsing around his thumb.

  Creamy, hot liquid shot into the back of my throat. Still coming, eyes closed, I moaned as I swallowed each gush, hollowing my cheeks and sucking for more.

  Our orgasms kept going, our bodies writhing, his moans and my whimpers in my ear. His hot, slick body straining under my own was all I knew, all I wanted.

  Tears slid out of my eyes, and I didn’t know if it was from the powerful orgasm he’d just wrung from me or what was happening inside my heart at the moment. His body finally relaxed, melting onto the couch, and mine followed, going lax on top of him.

  Still, I gently sucked on him, loving on his softening dick with my mouth, rubbing my cheek against it.

  “Oh, God baby.” Tenderly, Calum caressed the back of my head, the line of my jaw. His hand wrapped around my thigh possessively, as if he had no plans of ever letting me go.

  My heart skipped a beat inside my chest. Funny. Right then, I felt the same way about him.

  Like nothing in the world could ever pry me away.

  4

  My legs were still watery after all those orgasms.

  Excitement and happiness battled inside me. I wanted to give him everything. Wanted him to do to me everything that I’d never experienced, and wanted to be that for him, as well.

  A man like Calum wasn’t an innocent, but he'd confessed that sex for him had always been controlled. I could so see that. Calum’s whole life had been about control.

  My happiness expanded; he was ready to try new things with me. It put me in the position of actually being his first when it came to certain things.

  Too much control equaled boredom.

  I sensed that in him. Especially as of late. He craved the new, the exciting. Maybe he hadn’t known it when we met, who knows, but the need definitely drove him now.

  A shiver broke through me as I remembered what he’d done to me at the bar roughly an hour ago. I’d never forget the way his eyes glowed with the triumph of being the first to finger me in public, the way he’d seemed thrilled at me for letting him.

  And the way he’d played with me on the couch . . .

  He’d owned me.

  I should’ve been scared.

  I was.

  But it didn't dim the excitement, the hum of endorphins going through my body.

  His behavior meant something. Surely his intensity meant I wasn’t the only one being overwhelmed by our attraction.

  The knowledge comforted me.

  It scared me even more. Forget my being ready to be in a relationship. The way I'd started to care for Calum also left me terrified that I would end up wanting one and he wouldn’t.

  No one wanted to be in that situation. It would leave me utterly powerless; and him with the power to walk away whenever he wanted.

  Calum moved around in the kitchen, opening a drawer. I didn’t turn to seek him out. He’d fucked my brains out with his mouth; he planned on doing more to me as soon as we both rested for a bit and we both needed the small break.

  If I caught sight of all those naked, delicious muscles moving around the kitchen, I’d say fuck the break, yes to the sex, and fling myself at him.

  Smiling, I crossed my arms and padded over to one of the metal bookcases against the left wall of the living room.

  I’d been to his house quite a few times during the last few months, but we’d either been too busy fucking, or he’d kept me hostage on the couch, cuddling and watching TV. No chance to look around and analyze his home some more.

  I wanted to. Bad. The curiosity gnawed at me sometimes.

  What better way to get to know a man’s mind than by what he read?

  Delighted at the chance to get some 4-1-1 on him, I looked up and began reading through the spines.

  His phone started ringing from inside his jeans. Absorbed in my task, I barely registered when Calum walked out of the kitchen to search out his phone.

  “Have to take this. Be right back.”

  The sound of his voice surprised me. By the time I turned around, he was already walking down the hall toward his room. I bit my lip, watching his ass flex and bounce with each step, my eyes locked on him until he stepped into his room.

  How odd. He usually never picked up his phone when with me.

  Probably business related. He once told me a family or business emergency would be the only thing to tear him away from me, especially when he had me naked.

  Remembering that brought a huge, cheesy smile to my face. When he said things like that to me, I came close to throwing all caution and paranoia right out the window.

  Or at least attempting to.

  The smile remained on my face when I turned to continue my perusal of his books.

  The corner of an intricate, silver frame caught my eye. Tilting my head, I reached to move the large African carving that hid the frame from view—

  The carving fell out of my hands, landing on the carpet with a thud.

  My heart dropped right behind it.

  Blood roaring in my ears, I stood there, trying to convince myself that my eyes were wrong.

  It wasn't just one frame. There were two. And they'd both been tucked behind the carving, hidden in the corner of the bookcase.

  From within the smaller of the two, a gorgeous black haired woman smiled back at me, her hand resting on her collarbone—her left hand and the huge diamond adorning the ring finger.

  I couldn't even properly name what pounded inside my heart. It reminded me of the day I walked in on Corey eating out Caroline, only this was somehow worse.

  More painful.

  The dread in my stomach made it almost impossible to breath. Still, wrapping my arms around my middle, I forced myself to face the second, much larger picture.

  They were be
autiful together. Both dark haired and so sophisticated. They'd made one of the most gorgeous couples in the entire state. The society pages loved them. I remembered that.

  But I hadn't known Calum back then.

  No escaping it now. Not when it was so blatant and in my face.

  Funny, he once told me their relationship hadn't “been like that”. The way he described it made it seem like zero passion had existed between them.

  I already doubted that, trust me. There's no way two people that sexy can be together and not enjoy each other's bodies.

  The picture I stared at was perfect proof of that.

  Calum hugged her, and Diane returned his hug, her arms wrapped around his neck. They were locked at the lips.

  The huge diamond on her finger caught the flash of the camera, the resulting glint absolutely ridiculous due to the ring's size.

  The dread twisting my stomach up in knots became something else. I cupped my mouth, nauseous from the sudden realization of where I stood.

  This had been their home for years. Their place.

  They’d lived their lives together inside these walls.

  God, I'd fucked him countless times on the same bed they once slept in, had sex in.

  How could I not think about that before? I knew how, damn it. From day one, the man consumed almost all of my rationality. I'd become all but a slave to the need to be with him.

  My body, my emotions, they all wanted to fall for him. Hard.

  Suddenly, I was fucking freezing all the way down to my bones.

  My stomach twisted even more, sick with jealousy and fear. Reality crashed down on my head, smacking me straight out of the fantasy-world I'd been tiptoeing into.

  What the hell are you doing? You knew what you were getting into!

  I had. Diane left Calum the day before we met. Yes, it's true, I managed to put a halt to things that very night—when we'd been in the middle of dry-humping and making out like two horny teenagers at the bar and he confessed the truth to me in the middle of it.

  But, I gave Calum my business card despite everything. Told him to contact me when some time passed, hoping he'd be over his ex by then.

  My justification to myself had been as simple as it'd been delusional. I had never been so attracted to someone on the spot, and his taste on my tongue made it damn near impossible for me to say no.

  I couldn't fuck him on the night after his engagement ended because I didn't like to do messy. It wouldn’t be anything more than sex, I’d rationalized, but I still didn’t want to walk into that type of situation.

  I’d lasted no more than a month. A fucking month.

  In that time, I’d made the most colossal mistake.

  I’d spoken to him all the time over the phone, getting to know him as a person.

  When, in reality, I should’ve kept him at arm’s length, where a body only meant for sex belonged.

  They’d been together for years. They’d been this close to getting married. And I, stupid woman that I am, got sucked into the situation, into him.

  Four months. I’d read somewhere that that’s roughly how much time it takes for a person to fall in love with someone else.

  I’d let it go on for way too freaking long, putting myself in the most vulnerable situation possible. While, the whole time, those two pictures had been neatly tucked behind the carving out of sight.

  What else was hidden throughout his apartment?

  Don’t let anyone lie to you. The cold, hard fact is that people only keep memories when they mean something to them. There’s no reason to keep around photos of someone you no longer care about. It goes against psychological wiring.

  For those pictures to be there . . . I shook my head, refusing to go there.

  I felt brittle. Two seconds away from cracking.

  The cold ache in my heart scared me the most because I suspected what it meant.

  Slowly, I knelt down and picked up the carving. Placing it back on the shelf, I made sure it was exactly as I’d found it: covering the two frames with Diane’s pictures inside.

  That single act broke something inside me. Made my pulse sound so hollow in my ears.

  I took a step back away from the bookshelf, hugging myself. I needed to get out of there. Needed to first pull myself together long enough to do so.

  Two hands wrapped around my hips from behind, pulling me into the naked heat of Calum’s body. “Sorry about that—”

  I stiffened and moved away from him as if burned.

  “Liv?”

  In a rush, I practically ran to where I’d dropped my purse and shoes. I shot toward my dress, laying a few feet away from the couch on the floor.

  Fuck my panties. He could keep them as a memory for all I cared.

  “Livana? What the hell?”

  “I have to go.” I ran into the guest bathroom by the kitchen and locked the door before he could follow me. Of course, that wouldn’t stop him from coming to the door, which he did less than a second later.

  “Livana, what’s going on? Open this door.”

  I ignored him, slipping my dress over my head and sliding my heels on. My reflection in the mirror showed me the mess his loving left behind. Hands trembling, I grabbed a washcloth and wet it, wiping frantically at the dried mascara stains under my eyes and trailing down my cheeks.

  From tears.

  Tears he’d forced from me while giving me unparalleled pleasure.

  There’d be more of them before the night was over. This time, they would be born from pain. I was woman enough to admit that.

  Not in his house, however. Not in front of him, damn it.

  Another two knocks landed on the door. “Livana, you're worrying me.”

  I paused at that, dropping the washcloth and gripping the bathroom sink counter. My skin bristled with insecurity—and even so, hearing the tone of his voice tempted me to open the door and walk right into his arms.

  However, I couldn't. Doing so would be disastrous.

  The way I felt right then, the need to shrink into myself and escape the hurt those pictures caused me, was the loudest warning signal I'd gotten so far.

  I had to listen to that warning signal.

  Get out before my feelings for him kept growing.

  Before it became too late.

  Inhaling deep, I grabbed my purse and spun around. When I swung the door open, Calum stood on the other side, hands braced against the doorframe.

  Still fully naked.

  God, even as angry as I was, the man remained the sexiest, most devastatingly beautiful male I'd ever seen.

  I wanted to eat him.

  Have my hands all over him.

  Worst of all, as I prepared to leave him, I wanted to keep him all to myself.

  Emotionally speaking, he wasn't fully available. I was too greedy to have less than one-hundred percent.

  Especially when it came to him.

  “Livana, what's going on?”

  I refused to look him in the eye. “I have somewhere that I have to be. Got to go.”

  “Seriously? All of a sudden?” His snapped question made it very clear he didn't believe me.

  “Can you please move? I told you I have to go.”

  Of course, he didn't, and I didn't want to risk touching him long enough to try to move him. One feel of his skin would be enough to destroy my will power.

  “Liv . . . You're going to tell me what the fuck is going on. And now.”

  Startled, my head flew up and my eyes landed on his face. He never cursed at me before; I'd never seen so much rage in his eyes.

  How dare he be angry? Was he truly that clueless? “I don't want to talk about it. I just want to leave.”

  “Why?”

  I raised my chin stubbornly. “To which part? Because both have the same answer: there's no point.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” A rough exhale left him and he moved his arm long enough to run his fingers through his hair.

  I saw my chance and took i
t, running out of that bathroom.

  “Livana!”

  I froze at the way he almost yelled my name, but didn't turn to look at him. No point. No point. No point. The urge to stay, to explain, screamed at me—the need to hear what excuse he'd come up with and believe him made my legs weak.

  But that's what couples did. They talked things out.

  We weren't a couple.

  Even if we had been, I didn’t think I’d ever forget that he’d kept and hidden those pictures.

  After all that, I definitely never wanted us to be a couple.

  Liar, my mind shot back.

  “You're running away.”

  My back shot straight, my body whirling around in a blaze of anger. “I am not running. I'm leaving. There's a difference.”

  Calum stormed toward me in all his naked glory, every muscle tensed with the intent of grabbing me.

  I took a step back, hating how my mouth watered for him. My pussy ached to have him one more time.

  A last time.

  “Stay away from me,” I whispered, on the verge of tears.

  I'm such a fucking idiot but I'd done it.

  I'd begun to fall for Calum Alexander and the whole time, he'd still harbored feelings for his ex.

  He froze at my expression, eyes searching mine. “What happened? What caused this? Talk to me, Liv.”

  “What's the point?” I demanded, hearing how hoarse my voice sounded. “I asked you to do one thing before you came back. One thing. And yeah, we both should have waited longer, but you've had four months to get your shit straight, and you haven't been able to. I can only assume that means one damned thing.”

  A scowl overtook his face, the confusion in his eyes so profound that my pathetic, aching heart begged me to give him a chance to explain. “What the hell are you talking about, Livana?”

  And, with that simple question, my anger reappeared full-force, drowning out my heart's pitiful pleas.

  A man, when ready to admit where he went wrong, when he's actually ready to fix the situation, will go with the truth. He could have simply owned up to his little secret, told me why those pictures were still around, and I would've re-thought my decision to leave.

  But he didn't.

  That right there was all I needed to know.