Once Pure

by Cecy Robson

  “Let’s try it and see.” He shrugged. “If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.”

  He left and disappeared up the steps while I remained standing in the middle of his kitchen like an imbecile. I heard him open his bedroom door and heard him step over to what seemed to be his closet.

  What was he getting? Fuzzy cuffs—leather straps? My hand gripped the chair in front of me. Dear. Lord. What if he came down with chains? He wouldn’t, like, have chains, would he?

  My pulse raced as I heard him jog down the steps. He held up an old silk tie, dark blue like his eyes. “Do you think this will work?”

  I didn’t know much about bondage. Who was I kidding? I didn’t know anything at all. But I imagined there were worse things I could bind him with. “Ah, sure?”

  The edges of his lips curved. Apparently I amused my manservant…or whatever it is the binder calls the bindee.

  “Okay. I’m all yours,” he said, trying to hold in his laughter.

  Killian positioned himself directly in front of the chocolate couch with his back to me. He let the silk tie dangle from his fingers. It took me a moment to move and even longer to reach him. I crossed the room, the soles of my feet slick against the smooth wood. Nothing had even happened yet and I was already sweating down to my toes.

  I reached for the tie and grasped it hesitantly. “H-how should I do this?”

  “Pretty bow?” he offered.

  I laughed when he did, his demeanor helping to ease some of the tension.

  I examined the tie. It was long enough that I could wind it around each wrist a few times before joining it at the center. “This looks familiar.”

  “It’s the tie I wore for confirmation.”

  The color drained from my face until he burst out laughing.

  I dropped my hands to my sides. “That wasn’t funny.”

  “Yes, it was,” he said, laughing harder.

  I giggled. Okay, maybe it kind of was. I stretched out the tie and took a breath. “Okay, here goes.”

  As planned, I wound the silky fabric in even sweeps around each wrist, then tied it in the center in a loose knot. The binding itself wasn’t tight, but it kept his wrists linked together. In truth, Killian could still overtake me with his strong legs. But something about him being bound like this gave me a sense of security I hadn’t expected.

  “What do you want to do?” I asked, my voice sounding oddly husky.

  Killian straightened, his voice lowering as well. “Whatever you want me to. Your call.” He turned slowly to face me, then lowered himself to the couch, the position of his hands tilting his hips upward.

  To see him like that, waiting for me, increased my breathing. This time, I wasn’t afraid. No…this time my body was simply responding to what was to come. I moved forward, standing close enough so that my knees touched his.

  Killian remained patient, waiting in silence for me to make contact.

  I lifted my skirt and straddled him. “Hi,” I whispered.

  “Hi, beautiful,” he answered, just as quietly.

  My hands smoothed across his shoulders. God, I loved the feel of him…and knowing I could touch him any way I wanted to.

  Our kiss began slowly.

  So did the grind of my hips against his lap.

  At Killian’s groan, my hips swiveled harder. “Do you like this?” I asked, digging my short nails into his shoulder to help me burrow deeper.

  “I like everything you do to me,” he whispered against the small space between my breasts. He tugged on the center clasp of my bra with his teeth and it snapped open, whipping back and exposing my breasts.

  Killian’s tongue flicked over my dark areolas, tickling and enticing me. But I wanted more of him against me. I finished unbuttoning the top of my dress and slipped it down to my waist before removing my bra. In one motion, I fell back against the couch, pulling him on top of me.

  It was now his turn to grind his body against mine with hard heavy strokes while his teeth remained fastened to my left breast. “Mmm, Killian…”

  I yanked off the rest of my dress so that only my panties remained. This was the most Killian had ever seen of me, but having him tied made it okay. And in many ways, it made it better.

  Killian released my breast, nibbling his way down to my belly. I gasped when he buried his face between my legs, his hot mouth against me. His actions surprised me. But instead of closing my legs, I opened them for him and pushed up on my elbows to watch.

  He peered back at me. “Will you let me lick you?” he asked, his voice guttural.

  Every soft part of me hardened. As much as my body seemed to want to give in, I wasn’t sure I was ready for him to see me so intimately. But as I sensed his desire, and his eagerness, any modesty I had dissipated.

  I shoved the crotch of my panties aside.

  “Oh, fuck,” he gasped.

  I screamed in total ecstasy when Killian rammed his mouth against me. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I hadn’t expected anything close to what he had to give. His tongue swirled and his mouth sucked, pulling my folds with audible smacks.

  My whimpers turned to moans that morphed into more screams. I dug my heels into the couch, writhing and unable to keep still. The chills overtaking my back in waves were unfamiliar, but I knew what was happening long before my body jerked out of control.

  My orgasm released violently, shooting out through my legs, making them quiver and weaken. Part of me fought it, bracing for something awful to happen. Killian pushed forward, his mouth taking more of me until I finally succumbed.

  I cried out his name, my back arching so severely I thought my spine would snap. In my mind, this wasn’t supposed to be so sweet or last this long. Killian disagreed. He kept going, eager to taste more.

  Tears leaked from my eyes, blinding me, until the sensation finally ceased. My left leg collapsed onto the floor, and my left arm draped over the side of the couch. If I hadn’t been lying in the center, my body would have followed in one flaccid heap.

  I couldn’t control my breathing or my racing pulse. Lying there, barely able to do more than breathe, I finally understood what the big deal was about sex.

  Holy amazeballs. I only wish he’d shown me sooner. I blinked my eyes open. “Killian…that felt so good.”

  He didn’t answer. I sat up, realizing I was alone. I hurried toward the stairs to find the silk tie abandoned halfway up and his black T-shirt draped over the top step. My hand reached for the tie. I wasn’t sure why he’d left it until I heard his labored breaths coming from his room.

  I hurried up the steps, snatching his shirt up when I reached the second floor. Although I’d all but run, my steps slowed as I neared his bedroom.

  My hands clutched the tie and his black T against my bare breasts. I could feel my heart pound against my balling fists. I knew what he was doing, but I still froze in the doorway when I reached him and saw.

  Killian was spread along his white comforter, his teeth clenched, his hand stroking. I watched him move up and down on himself, his movements slowing when he noticed me, but failing to stop.

  The scene unfolding before me was like a fantasy out of my most impassioned dream. The tie and shirt slipped from my grasp as I walked toward the bed, my head dizzy with desire from watching him. I wanted to help. I didn’t want him alone, especially after what he’d done for me downstairs….

  He kept his focus on me as I stopped in front of his bed and yanked off my panties. His eyes widened, taking me in. Naked. I was finally naked for him.

  I crawled to his lap. Although traces of my shyness remained, my eyes never wavered from his. My right hand reached for his base, my left just a little bit lower, taking control. I licked the tip, causing him to groan and tilt his hips upward. “Teach me what to do,” I begged him.

  Killian dragged his body upward, to sit and, I imagined, to watch. I followed along, my hands remaining in place. He didn’t say anything, so I swirled my tongue around the top. “Do you like this?”
r />   He scrunched his eyes closed. “Yes.”

  “More?”

  He nodded slowly.

  And I put him in my mouth.

  At first I went down just a little, but then I noticed the harder my suction, the more tightly his fingers gripped the wrought-iron bed frame. I continued, going deeper when Killian asked, drawing tighter when he groaned, moving faster when he pleaded, until Killian grasped my shoulders and hauled me off him.

  I kept my hand on him, watching him finish.

  His eyes burned with heat when I finally glanced up. “I want more,” I admitted. “Can we keep going?”

  He paused briefly before wrenching my thighs toward his face.

  Chapter 9

  I woke up when I heard Killian moving around the suite. I rolled onto my side to see him fall on his knee and tie his sneakers. A sexy smile inched across his face. “Hey.”

  I hugged the pillow over my naked body, feeling shy, but not so shy that I couldn’t smile back. “Hey. What time is it?”

  “A little after five.”

  No wonder I was tired. “You’re going for a run? Now?”

  “You mean considering we’ve barely slept and after everything we did?” He chuckled when I buried my face in the pillow. I glanced up again when he sat on the edge of the bed and played with one of my curls. “It’s hard to sleep, knowing you’re naked beside me,” he said quietly. “I figured I’d go for a run and then maybe come back and wake you.”

  I squirmed a little. I was too reserved to tell him he could have just woken me and no way would I have complained. Images of how we’d teased and played flashed in my mind like the remnants of a perfect fantasy. Except it had all been real. Killian and I were growing closer.

  “Last night meant a lot to me,” he said, as if reading my thoughts. “But I want to make sure that you’re okay with everything that happened. Any regrets?”

  This time it was my turn to smile. “No. I liked being with you.”

  His hand passed along my bare back. “Did the tie help?”

  I nibbled on my bottom lip. The tie had provided that security I’d needed¸ but as the night progressed, it was no longer necessary. The only thing missing between us was him pushing inside of me. Last night, I was almost ready for it. Now that some time had passed, it remained that frightening leap of faith to take. But I didn’t want to focus on any fears that remained. I’d rather focus on the progress we’d made. “It made me feel secure,” I admitted.

  “Then that’s what we’ll keep doing. So long as you need it.” He scanned my body, then shook his head. “I’d better go, before I don’t.”

  I pushed up to a sitting position when he stood. He seemed tense all of a sudden. But I wasn’t sure why. “Is something wrong?”

  He shrugged. “Nah. Just a lot on my mind with regard to my upcoming match.”

  “Anything you want to talk about?”

  My question made him smile. “I guess if I can’t talk to you, I can’t talk to anyone, huh?” He fell into a deep leg stretch. “The deal is, I’ve met and beaten my opponent once before. But since then a lot’s changed. He has my old trainer working with him. He’s gonna know what to expect. If I don’t focus, or switch it up enough, he’ll figure me out and I won’t win.”

  Okay, I wasn’t liking the sound of this. “Gil switched sides?”

  Killian glanced up from his lunge. “Gil’s always been about the money. He thought Marsh—the guy I’m taking on—had more potential. When I told him to bounce, he went straight to Marsh, figuring he’d get me back and make more bills in the process.”

  “So who’s training you?”

  “No one. I’m on my own this time.”

  I rolled onto my belly and folded my arms in front of me. I didn’t want to doubt Killian. But this was a high-stakes professional match he’d agreed to. He needed more than just himself. “Do you think it might be better to have input from someone else? Sometimes it’s hard to be objective and catch your own mistakes.”

  “Finn and Wren have offered to help—record some training, sparring—this way we can analyze what I’m doing wrong, decide what’s working and what all I need to cut.”

  “You may need more than just family this time, sweetie.”

  The intensity in his focus lessened when I called him sweetie, but it resurfaced quickly. He shook his head. “I’m done with trainers who are only out for themselves—risking my hide to fill their wallets. It’s not fucking worth it. I have a plan, and a strict regimen that I’m following. I also set up a couple of sparring matches with some guys the Boss used to know. They’re tough and know the biz. Most have mixed it up professionally.”

  I adjusted my position on the bed. Richie “the Boss” Mancini had trained Killian and my brother since they were kids at his gym in Center City. He died of a heart attack a few years back. The Boss was a good man. He didn’t have kids of his own, but he took those he trained under his protective wing and gave them someone to look up to. Hulking men the size of giants, from all ages and backgrounds, attended his funeral. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. It was one of those rare times I’d seen Killian and Teo cry.

  “Just be careful,” I said, quietly.

  Killian switched legs. “Will you go with me?”

  “Running?”

  He laughed, a little too hard. “No. I mean to the fight.”

  “You want me to go with you to Atlantic City?” I asked slowly.

  “Why not? You’re my girl, aren’t you?”

  I returned his smile. Yeah. I was. “Who else is going?”

  “Wren, my brothers. We usually go out to a late dinner after I’m done with the press.” He rolled his head, to loosen his neck. “Afterward, I usually head back to my room and unwind.”

  “Alone?” I held out a hand when I realized how that came across. “I just figured if it’s A.C.—lots to do there—and lots of people.” I fiddled with the edge of the sheet tucked beneath me. And lots of women out for a good time.

  “My family usually hits the casinos. I don’t. All the adrenaline pumping through me before, during, and after the match leaves me wiped. I don’t need more noise. Rather leave all that behind me.”

  That was what he said, but I wasn’t blind to Killian’s hotness. It wasn’t just his ripped body, Killian’s face teetered on that fine line between boyishly cute and ruggedly handsome.

  What sucked was I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

  I could see Killian skipping out on his family to return to his room. What I couldn’t see was him spending the remainder of his night alone. Killian would have company if he wanted it. All he had to do was ask. No woman in her right mind would deny him.

  He tickled my chin. “The hotel usually hooks me up with a sick suite. You’ll like it. We can order dinner in if you want. But if you’d rather walk around A.C., see the sights, check out the beach at night, we can do that, too.”

  Alone and away in Atlantic City with Killian. It sounded like heaven. I only hoped I could get through the match. It was hard watching him fight, watching him take a hit. My father had struck me enough times for me to know how much a blow can hurt. “I don’t know, Killian….”

  In my silence Killian leaned forward. “I want you with me, Sofia. But I get that the attention might be too much for you.”

  I angled my head. “The attention?”

  “There’s lots of press. A shitload of interviews, photo ops, and cameras constantly shoved in my face when I’m out. It’s the part I won’t miss when I retire.”

  “I can understand that,” I agreed. Killian’s public persona was unparalleled. He wasn’t loud, pretentious, or flashy like some of the other more notorious fighters. But he knew how to draw attention and keep it, despite his laid-back and reserved personality. The real him came out only around those he trusted.

  I smiled, knowing I remained among those select few he could be himself around. That knowledge made it easy for me to reach a decision. “Okay, I’d love to.”

/>   He smirked. “Love to what?”

  “Go with you to A.C.,” I answered, meaning it. “I think it would be nice to get away together.” His expression warmed when I met his face. I crinkled my nose. “The only thing is I don’t turn legal until September.”

  “Don’t worry about it. You’ll be with me. It won’t be a problem.” He lowered himself to kiss my forehead, but then paused and met my lips instead when I lifted my chin.

  My fingertips lifted to stroke his face, my arousal stirring when I realized I could still taste a bit of me on him.

  Killian broke our kiss, swearing. He kicked his shoes off and joined me in bed, rolling me on top of him.

  —

  It wasn’t until much later that Killian left for his run. I used the time alone to shower and send Teo a text. I told him about Gil and how he was now training Killian’s opponent. Teo had never thought well of Gil and had often referred to him as “that sleazy bastard.” I wanted to let him know he’d been right about him, and that Killian was now on his own.

  Teo responded with a brief text, thanking me for telling him, but not much more than that. I thought maybe he was still mad at me for spending time with Killian. I didn’t press him; instead I decided to Skype with my sister, Lety, in England. There was a lot I needed to discuss with her, and I hoped I wouldn’t lose my nerve.

  I set up my laptop in the dining room and made the connection. I smiled when I saw my beautiful sister yawn and wave back. An oversized white sweater covered her hourglass figure. As thin as she was, she had perfect round breasts and a backside most women would kill to have. Yeah, nature hadn’t been as generous with me. “Hey. Did I wake you?”

  She was in a bedroom. It was all I could make out. Well, that and Brody’s feet dangling off the bed. She pushed her long, wavy hair away from her face. “It’s two in the afternoon here. We’ve just had a long day.”

  Considering what type of long days Killian and I had been having lately, I had a feeling I knew what she meant. She peered around my shoulder. “Where are you?”

  “Killian’s.”

  “I figured.” She laughed. “Teo was bitchin’ about you staying with him.” She reached for a mug of steaming liquid and took a sip. “How are things between you?” She laughed again when all I did was blush. “That good, huh?”