Once Pure

by Cecy Robson

Problem was she was broken.

  And I was the cause.

  I promised myself to become a better man, and build a better life for me and maybe for us if she’d give me a chance. Buying my gym was the start. I just didn’t have a clue what I was getting into.

  I was trying to make sense of my utility bill a month after buying my place. Holy shit. Heat costs how much?

  Derek knocked on my office door. “Hey, Kill. Someone’s here about the office and computer work.”

  I thought he was messing with me, especially when he kept grinning as he looked down the hall. That job I’d listed didn’t pay shit. “Fine. Send ’em in.”

  I expected some old lady or a snot-nose kid who wasn’t qualified. I swear to Christ I turned to stone when Derek stepped aside and Sofia strolled in. She stopped so abruptly, she almost fell into the room. “Ah, hi, Killian,” she stammered, trying to hold on to her computer bag when it slipped from her shoulders. Her cheeks pinkened and her gorgeous face looked back at me.

  Derek eyed her up and down like he wanted to bite her ass right there in front of me. “Don’t you have shit to do?” I yelled at him.

  Sofia glanced at him as he disappeared, before returning her attention to me. She pushed one of her long curls back behind her ear. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

  “I’m the new owner,” I told her.

  I can’t be sure if those were my exact words. I was too busy gawking at her and recognizing her presence for what it was—my chance at redemption, my chance to make it up to her. I could watch over her, make sure nothing bad would happen to my Sofia.

  My Sofia? Aw hell, I guess she was.

  She returned my smile. That was all it took for her to knock me on my ass. I was a fierce and dangerous MMA fighter.

  I didn’t stand a chance against this little thing.

  When I finally kissed her…damn, I knew there was no going back. But fuck, when we started messing around, I completely lost my shit.

  But then she said the words she wasn’t supposed to say: “I love you, Killian.”

  God help me. She might as well have torn out my heart.

  “Don’t say that unless you mean it,” I told her. “I’m serious. You don’t play around with that word.”

  I was actually begging her to take it back. She didn’t love me. She loved the man I was supposed to be for her—the one who kept her safe. But when her soft green eyes met mine, and her bare skin curled against me, I knew she meant it.

  I should have told her everything then, except I didn’t. Instead I waited for her to fall asleep to tell her I loved her, too. It was the first time I’d admitted it. Thing was, I still wasn’t the man Sofia needed.

  She found out the hard way what kind of man I really was, and just like I couldn’t protect her, I couldn’t stop her pain.

  “You were supposed to be different,” she said, crying so hard every word hit me like a punch. “I was supposed to mean more to you than this!”

  She didn’t understand what she meant to me. Christ, my world fell apart when she left. But she was right, being with her out of guilt was bullshit, and not what she deserved.

  I spent the next few weeks doing nothing, barely talking, and ready to war with anyone who pissed me off. Nothing mattered the whole time Sofia was gone—my career, my business, my family, nothing.

  Curran texted me at home the week after we got back from Vegas. I almost didn’t answer it, figuring he was just checking in.

  I’m at Teo’s party with some of my boys. The one thanking his mechanics and staff.

  I didn’t text back. Instead I flipped the channel, even though I was barely watching the damn flatscreen.

  Sofe’s here, he texted back when I didn’t reply.

  That got my attention. So did the next three that followed.

  She misses you.

  She told me.

  Come tell her you miss her, too, dumbass.

  I stared at the screen. If Curran was lying I’d…who the hell was I kidding? I was going for her.

  Where is it? I texted back.

  —

  “Wassup?” I asked Teo, trying to stay calm when I found out I’d just missed Sofia.

  Teo smirked as he polished off his Coke. “Evie’s pregnant.”

  Teo was happy. I was happy for him. But I couldn’t help being jealous, too.

  He had the perfect life, with the perfect woman, and now another perfect kid on the way. I had fucked things up with my perfect woman. Jesus…what would Sofia have looked like pregnant with my baby?

  “You all right?” Teo asked me, his frown deep.

  “Yeah. Fine.” I shook his hand. “Congratulations, brother,” I said, meaning it.

  Curran and his friends were taking turns congratulating him when his phone buzzed. Teo reached for it in his back pocket and hit the speaker. “Hey, babe—”

  “Teo, we’re in trouble!” Evie screamed over the cries of her baby. “We’re being attacked, I need help!”

  Teo tore toward his ride with the rest of us after him. “Where are you?”

  “A couple blocks down from the party, at the A and D Pharmacy. Hurry!”

  Curran slipped into the car with his partner as he called in the attack to the closest precinct. The rest of his boys jumped in their cars and hauled ass.

  I climbed into Teo’s SUV, barely managing to shut the passenger-side door before he stomped on the accelerator and we flew out of the lot. He slammed on the brakes when the cops closest to the exit cut him off.

  “Fuck!” he yelled. “Evie, I’m coming. Stay in the car with Mattie and Sofi—”

  “Sofi’s out there with them!” she cried. “They have her. You have to come now!”

  The bottom of my stomach fell out. They had Sofia.

  Mattie kept wailing, Evie kept begging Teo to hurry, Teo was telling her to grab her piece—trying to assure her. Through it all I heard Sofia. Her grunts. Her swings. Her kicks.

  Jesus Christ, my girl was fighting for her life.

  Teo punched it all the way there, bumper to bumper with the squad car in front of him until he saw an opening between two cruisers and drove the car over the sidewalk. The cops piled on top of the two motherfuckers spread across the asphalt.

  Both were bleeding.

  And so was Sofia.

  Curran and his friends collided with me and Teo when we tore out of his ride. I was going to kill those assholes and Curran knew it. “Kill, stop—stop!” he hollered. “Goddamnit, stop or I’ll arrest you!” He knocked me in the shoulder. “Do you think this is helping Sofi? Let us do our job, Kill, and I swear to God me and the boys will protect her.”

  I didn’t move, my focus locked on her shaking form and the blood that dripped from her knuckles. Fucking A, she didn’t need anyone to protect her. She’d already protected herself….

  —

  When the medic was done, there was no keeping me from Sofia, especially when I caught her looking right at me. I crossed the lot. She met me halfway. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, that I needed her with me. Instead, I said all the wrong things and watched as she walked away.

  I spent the night working through all the shit between me and Sofia. I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling when someone knocked on my door. Christ, now what?

  They knocked on the door again, this time louder. Jesus, it’s fucking Saturday.

  I flung open the door to find Sofia there. At first, I didn’t know what to say, hating all the tension between us. But this was my chance to tell her what I felt. So I did, hoping I wouldn’t fuck it up. “When you came back into my life, I thought this was my opportunity to set things right. Like you said, a chance at redemption.”

  She shrank from me, her eyes reddening and welling with tears. Shit. Didn’t she know it killed me to see her cry?

  “Sofia,” I said, watching her tears spill. “I’d spent years living with regret and wondering how I could fix things. I saw our time together as an opportunity to do right by you…but then
we became something more.”

  Her voice shook. “But it wasn’t for the right reasons, Killian.”

  “No. Not at first.” I slipped my hand over hers, careful not to hurt her swollen and bandaged fingers. “When you called me out that day you left, I was scared you were right—that what I felt was for all the wrong reasons.” I huffed. “Been scared and miserable this whole damn time. But then something happened last night, and it changed everything—how I saw you—and showed me what you really mean to me.”

  She didn’t say anything, waiting for me to find the right words. “Teo told us Evie’s pregnant.” I held her hand carefully. “And all I could think about was what you’d look like pregnant with my kid.”

  She stopped moving. I thought I freaked her out until she did that happy cry of hers—the same one as when I gave her the wooden jewelry box. I gathered her to me. I couldn’t stop now. She needed to hear everything.

  I opened my mouth…and everything I felt poured out in a rush. “I want to marry you, Sofia. I want to make babies with you, and grow old with you,” I rasped. “I love you. God, I am so in love with you.”

  She struggled to speak. I almost couldn’t hear her. “But how do I know that what you feel comes from something pure, and not from the guilt you still carry?” she asked.

  In my voice—in my fucking stare—I begged her to believe what I knew was true. “Because I’ve loved you since the first time I saw your smile and you asked me to be your friend….”

  —

  Sofia lifted her head and blinked her eyes open, smiling when I kissed her. My hand trailed over her growing belly. “How’s my boy?” I asked.

  Her hand covered mine in time to have our son kick us both. She laughed. “I think he’s trying to tell us he’s hungry.”

  “Then I should feed you both.” I rose, pulling Sofia carefully to her feet. I kept my arm around her as we left the yard and walked into the house.

  The day I married her, I swore to her that I’d always take care of her. In another month, I’d have a son to take care of, too. But that was okay by me. A man keeps his promises. Especially when it comes to those he loves.

  For Jamie and Nic for believing. And for my children, who hold my heart.

  Acknowledgments

  To Sue Grimshaw, thank you for loving Killian and Sofia’s journey, and for tearing up in all the right places. Your words of encouragement and show of support have meant everything to me. You are a superhero. Seriously, I love the way your cape waves in the breeze.

  To Nicole Resciniti, my agent and the sister who grew in my heart: Nic, you made a contemporary romance author out of me when I was too busy doggy-paddling in the New Adult pool and wondering how the $#%@ I fell in. Okay, I get it now. Love you.

  To team Random House, including Gina Wachtel, Kimberly Cowser, Katie Rice, April Flores, Beth Pearson, Heidi Lilly, and Deborah Dwyer: You ROCK!

  To my husband, Jamie: Oh, babe, I bet when you asked me for forever you weren’t counting on all this. Thank you for making me laugh even during the times I went all crazy Latina on your unsuspecting self. Look at it this way: less time in Purgatory.

  To those who have been affected by abuse, I wish you the peace, healing, and happiness you deserve. I also wish you strength and hope throughout your journey. For more information or help contact www.rainn.org.

  BY CECY ROBSON

  Shattered Past

  Once Perfect

  Once Loved

  Once Pure

  Once Kissed (coming soon)

  Weird Girls

  A Curse Awakened (novella)

  The Weird Girls (novella)

  Sealed with a Curse

  A Cursed Embrace

  A Cursed Moon (novella)

  Cursed by Destiny

  A Cursed Bloodline

  A Curse Unbroken

  PHOTO: KATE GLEDHILL PHOTOGRAPHY

  CECY ROBSON is the New Adult author of the Shattered Past series and the award-winning author of the Weird Girls urban fantasy romance series. A self-proclaimed professional napper, Cecy counts among her talents a jaw-dropping knowledge of useless trivia, the ability to make her hair big, and a knack for breaking into song despite her family’s vehement protests. A full-time writer, registered nurse, wife, and mother living in the South, Cecy enjoys spending time with her family and silencing the yappy characters in her head by telling their stories.

  www.cecyrobson.com

  Facebook.com/Cecy.Robson.Author

  @cecyrobson

  www.goodreads.com/goodreadscomCecyRobsonAuthor

  The Editor’s Corner

  May flowers are abloom and so are our fabulous Loveswept romances—beautiful covers and stories to fill your eReaders to the brim!

  New this month is New York Times bestselling author Tracy Wolff’s next Ethan Frost installment, Exposed—the more time I can spend with Chloe and Ethan the more “happy-happy-happy” I am. Next up is a new storyteller we’ve added to our list, Gina Gordon, and her risqué love affair, Rush, where a bad boy shows a straitlaced law student how to slow down and savor the good things. And what happens when you start falling for your worst enemy? New York Times bestselling author Missy Johnson and debut author Ashley Suzanne tell you all about it in Breaking Noah. The final installment of The Devil’s Den dancers by Violetta Rand also comes out this month, so look for Sin. The third book in Cecy Robson’s Shattered Past series Once Pure, will be on sale as well, where true love lands a knockout punch.

  Western contemporary fans will be thrilled to know USA Today bestselling author Tina Leonard’s Last of the Red-Hot Riders will be available, featuring the toughest rodeo rider in Hell, Texas.

  And, PNR fans, never fear—Witches Be Burned, A Magic & Mayhem novel releases from USA Today bestselling author Stacey Kennedy, where a rookie guardian sworn to combat the undead risks life and love in a world of violence, witchcraft, and seduction.

  New Adult audiences will enjoy Amber Hart’s Captured by You, the sequel to Until You Find Me, in which Raven and Jospin must fight for each other in a world where love is never safe—and power is deadly.

  Meet new friends this month with Loveswept books—stories that invite you on fabulous journeys with some pretty amazing characters. Who knows, you may find a new book boyfriend, too!

  Until next month ~Happy Romance!

  Gina Wachtel

  Associate Publisher

  Read on for an excerpt from

  A Cursed Bloodline

  A Weird Girls Novel

  by Cecy Robson

  Available from Loveswept

  Chapter 1

  I continued to stare at the tiny heartbeat on the screen. “How did this happen?” I asked stupidly.

  “Have you been sexually active, Celia?”

  Dr. Belman’s voice was soft and surprisingly patient. I thought about all the times Aric and I had been intimate in the last few weeks. “Um. Yes.”

  “Did you use birth control?”

  “Yes.” He raised his eyebrows. “It’s true,” I insisted.

  I had started back on the Pill when Aric and I resumed our relationship. Dr. Belman pointed to the monitor. “Every time, Celia?”

  “Well, no. But it was only one night.” That was the truth—sort of. Granted that one night we’d made love four times, but that didn’t matter, right? I looked back at the little beating heart. I guess it does…matter.

  Tears streamed down my face. Although I completely freaked, I couldn’t help smiling. Aric and I are having a baby.

  Dr. Belman removed the internal monitor, the same monitor I insisted he use to disprove the pregnancy test results. I thought he was just in obstetrician mode when I explained my symptoms and he had me give a urine sample. Extreme fatigue and nausea could have been related to anything I might have contracted on my recent international trips.

  “Are you all right, Celia?”

  I sat up and wiped my trickling tears. “Yes. No. I’m not sure, but I will be.”

  “Do you f
eel the young man responsible will be supportive?”

  Don’t you mean the young werewolf? “In time. Aric is just going through a lot at the moment.” You see, Dr. Belman, he was severely burned and disfigured three days ago, in Chaitén, Chile, trying to save the world from a seven-headed fire-breathing demon.

  “Regardless of what challenges he’s facing, if he’s worth keeping, he’ll make you and his child a priority.” He sighed and placed his hand on my shoulder. “I apologize, Celia. I know it’s not my place to speak to you like this, but you are a nice young lady and deserve a good man.”

  “I appreciate your concern, Dr. Belman, but Aric is a good man.” He’s just hurting.

  Dr. Belman tapped my arm and regarded me thoughtfully. “If you say so, I believe you.” He helped me off the exam table. “So, miss, the plan is you will stop taking birth control at once and you will see me in four weeks. Here is a prescription for some prenatal vitamins.”

  I pushed my long wavy hair from my face and stared at the script. Somehow the piece of paper officially announced I was becoming a mommy. Another tear escaped my eye. “Thank you, Dr. Belman.”

  On the way home, different scenarios of Aric’s reaction played in my head, and I wondered how to tell him. He hadn’t called, though he’d said he would. It was rare for him not to stay true to his word, and even more rare for him not to check on me.

  My head spun with worry. The demon hadn’t just marred Aric physically, he’d brutalized his self-esteem. I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel and entertained my options. I couldn’t call his Warriors. If Aric’s Pack Elders found out, his friends would surely be punished and so would Aric. I also couldn’t involve my sisters. They would suspect something, and in this case, Aric should know my news first.

  Will you be happy for us, Aric?

  Four days ago, I wouldn’t have asked myself that question. I would have known based on the depth of our feelings, and from the intimate moments in our past. I remembered one day in particular when we first began living together. We lay in bed facing each other. Aric traced my jawline with his finger as he spoke. It tickled and made me smile. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”