Learning to Forgive

by Sam Crescent

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Nothing. I was just putting away some of your clothes.”

  “Trent and Luke are hungry.”

  “I’ll go and see to them.” She brushed past him. David caught her hand before letting her go.

  “Did you have a good day today?” he asked.

  “The day is not over. Will you be staying tonight or disappearing again like you do every year?” She pulled her hand out of his. Her body came instantly alive at how close he was. His musky scent invaded her senses. Did he have any idea how he affected her? She couldn’t stop herself from feeling when he was around. It was like a constant pulse between her thighs with him.

  “I’ll be staying.”

  “Good,” she said, then cleared her throat, repeating the word once again to make herself sound more convincing. “Good!”

  “You look beautiful,” he said, brushing her hair behind her ear. She shivered from the touch, closing her eyes at his contact.

  “Thank you.”

  “You don’t need to be so polite, baby. You’re my wife, and I can pay you compliments when I want.”

  She kept her lips sealed even though she wanted to scream that he’d never paid her a compliment before. Instead, she nodded her head before making her way down the stairs to where their kids were.

  Molly took Trent the next year and the year after that until he asked to stop going to his mother’s graveside. She knew David stopped going but had no idea what any of it meant.

  Chapter Seven

  David loved his sons, but he wanted them to leave so that he could spend some time alone with his wife. Molly had shut off the study where he’d been burning Isabella’s stuff. They were seated in the sitting room. Erica was with Chris while Blaze and Cassie sat together. His other sons were waiting. Molly got up to get the drinks, and the other two women helped her.

  The moment they were out of the room, he turned to the rest of them. “Look, I’m fine. I need you all to leave,” he said.

  “Dad,” Trent said.

  “No, no 'Dad this' or 'Dad that'. Molly is trying to leave me, and I’ve got to stop that from happening. I know I’ve not been the best father, but I love her. I won’t let her go. Please, there is a lot more to this, and I will tell you some day but not today. Please, I’m begging you. Leave,” David said.

  Molly came out with the drinks in the next instant. She handed everyone a cup and took the seat next to him. He patted her knee wishing they were alone. They had so much to talk about.

  He made sure to stare at all of them so that they got the message.

  “That was lovely, Molly, but Cassie and I need to be heading back,” Blaze said, standing.

  Once Blaze declared their need to leave, so did the other boys. He hugged them close when they came to him. David closed his eyes thankful for a great many things in his life.

  “You don’t have to leave,” Molly said.

  “Let them get home. They’ll visit us in plenty of time,” David said.

  “Stay here. I’ll see them out.”

  Molly saw them out while he sat back drinking the remnants of his tea. She came 'round the corner with her arms folded, leaning against the door-frame.

  “You forced them to leave.”

  “I did no such thing.” He opened his arms wide and showed his best innocent face. “Why would I do something like that?” he asked.

  “Because you wanted them to leave. I know you, David. You’d convince them to do anything.”

  He smiled when he saw she wasn’t mad at him. “Will you come and sit with me?”

  She stared at the seat next to him. The smile on her face disappeared. “I need to clean away these dishes,” she said.

  Molly grabbed the tray with the cups then went through to the kitchen. He sighed in frustration. David stared at the picture on the mantle above the blocked-off fireplace. He’d blocked it up with bricks some years ago. Now all that remained was one of those electric fires you can get with the fake flames, unlike in his study where he’d kept the original fire where he’d burnt Isabella’s belongings. The picture had been taken many years ago. It was one of the few he had of Molly. She was surrounded by all the boys in the back garden. He hadn’t taken the picture. Like so many times before he’d been at work.

  Getting angry with himself, he got out of his chair and made his way back up to his bedroom. David went straight for the photograph albums that Molly had kept over the years. He pulled all four thick albums off the book shelf, sat on the end of the bed, and began to look at them.

  With each page he turned, the feeling of dread built in his gut. There were so few pictures of Molly and David together. Most of the pictures were of the boys. How could he have been married for twenty-five years and never had his picture taken with his wife?

  He pulled his wallet out of his pants pocket, flicked the leather open to gaze at the one picture he’d kept of his wife. It had been taken in the hospital on the night she’d given birth to Luke. She held their son in her arms. Her hair was damp, and she looked exhausted. He stared at the picture feeling the love consume him once again. Luke had been a difficult pregnancy for her. It had been a painful process and one he’d struggled through.

  Molly had held on. Her grip on his hand as she pushed had kept getting weaker, but she had refused to give up.

  “What are you doing?” Molly asked, coming to sit next to him on the bed. She didn’t know about the picture in his wallet. David stared at the picture then passed it to her.

  “I was remembering,” he said.

  She took the wallet, staring at the photo. “You took a photo of this moment?” she asked.

  “Not of you giving birth. You had Luke in your arms, and you looked so beautiful.”

  “I look tired and swollen,” she said, handing the wallet back.

  “Not to me you didn’t.” He stared at her for some time. She gazed back at him. The blush he loved seeing filled her cheeks.

  “This was a long time ago, David.”

  “This is our life. I can’t forget about everything that has passed between us.”

  “I’m not asking you to,” she said.

  “Then I want you to go away with me.” The photograph album dropped to the floor, forgotten.

  “Why? Why now?” she asked.

  “Because I need time to make this right.”

  “I think we need to talk about all that downstairs,” Molly said.

  David stared at her. A strand of hair had fallen out of the ponytail. He tucked the loose strand behind her ear, caressing her cheek.

  “I’m not going to screw up again.” David took her hand, leading her downstairs. The fire looked a mess. He sat down on the couch, pulling her down next to him. The empty boxes had been stacked into a neat pile while the rest of the stuff was still in the box. “I guess Chris went through it all.”

  “He stayed over while I was at the hospital. I’m sure he’ll ask for an explanation at some point,” Molly said.

  “What to tell him?” David asked.

  “I’d go with the truth. I think I need to know the truth as well.” She squeezed his hand, offering him comfort.

  “The truth is not always fun,” David said.

  “No, but it pays well to be honest. Will you be honest with me?” she asked.

  He nodded his head.

  “Then I think you need to start from the beginning. There is a story here, and I don’t understand it,” she said, gesturing to the boxes.

  “Do you have a lot of time?”

  “More than you know.”

  David sat back. Molly deserved to know the truth once and for all. Much time had already passed where he’d kept the truth to himself. He no longer wanted to go through his life waiting for these moments to pass him by.

  “Okay, I guess it all started when I was young. My father was completely in love with my mother. She was his everything, as he’d sometimes call her. Never a moment went by when he didn’t think about her
. I was about fourteen, I think, when he sat down and had a real good talk to me. A father-son talk where he told me the birds and the bees story along with this curse or prediction, some might say.” David stared down at the box as all of his old memories swamped him. He took a deep breath then began again. “He told me that it was destined for the Sinclair men to find one woman and to fall in love with her. No other woman would do. Our whole lives would be devoted to the love of that woman.”

  “And you found Isabella?” Molly asked.

  He shook his head. “First, I rebelled against it. At the time, one woman didn’t sound like a lot of fun.”

  She chuckled.

  “Then, I sat down and saw that my uncles and grandparents had never divorced or separated, and I began to believe what my father said. There was one woman out there whom I’d be completely besotted with. So, I worked up the ranks in the family business, and one Christmas party that my folks held, she was there. Isabella Mitchell. She was a family friend’s daughter. I fell for her instantly. At the time, I thought it was love, and now I think it was lust.”

  He stopped to make sure Molly was okay. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. She smiled at him. “I need to hear this, David.”

  “Does it hurt?” he asked.

  “Yes, I never doubted it would hurt.”

  Tears glistened in her eyes, and he wanted to stop talking. There was no way he wanted to make her hurt. “I’m so sorry,” he said.

  “Don’t be sorry. This is your life, and I want and need to hear it. Please, keep going,” she said.

  “Anyway, she was like an ice maiden. Untouchable. My friends at the time had said she wouldn’t even look at them. I thought she was pure and beautiful. If someone was that beautiful and lovely, then she had to be perfect, right? Boy, was I wrong. I married her. She wouldn’t sleep with me until she had a ring on her finger and the marriage license.”

  “Was she a virgin?” Molly asked.

  He shook his head. “I thought she was. She wasn’t. From what I can recall, she slept with pretty much anyone who could give her a lift in the world.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Her father was losing money. She didn’t want to lose her lifestyle. When she saw me looking at her, she decided the Sinclair name was a good meal ticket.” David shrugged his shoulders remembering her vicious words.

  “You don’t know that,” Molly said.

  “Yes, I do. She told me. I shouted at her for flirting with a waiter at a dinner party we’d attended. She slapped me 'round the face and told me that I wanted her for a good piece of eye candy while she would spend my money. At least it was something along those lines. Then she told me how she only married me to get my money.”

  “How did you stay married to her?”

  “She ended up pregnant with Blaze and then Chris and then Trent. I had gone to my lawyer to file for divorce, when she came to me pregnant with Blaze. She was apologetic about what she said.” He stopped at his own stupidity for being fooled.

  Molly cupped his cheek. “You don’t have to say any more if you don’t want.”

  “I do. I need to get this off my chest.” He took a deep breath and pulled out the photo that he hadn’t burned. Isabella, Blaze, and Chris were in the picture. David handed it to her.

  “They look happy,” she said.

  “We were happy. She was different, kind, welcoming. A proper mother.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “She got her figure back. I was happy with two sons and settled, and then she went back to being who she was. A money-hungry woman. While I was at work, she hired a nanny to look after our boys. She was out, drinking or getting some plastic surgery. It was big at the time, almost as big as it is now.”

  “Then she got pregnant with Trent.”

  “Bingo. I was young and foolish and not ready for everything she had to throw at me. I married young, and I paid the price. She was going to abort Trent, like I told you. I threatened to smear her name if she got rid of my child.”

  Molly gripped his hand tighter then handed him the photograph.

  “I threatened to take away all my money and make sure she was left without a penny in the dirt. The whole of Trent’s pregnancy was a nightmare. She screamed and threatened to kill him. It was the worst time of my life. When she gave birth and then died, I was so happy. Do you have any idea what it is like to be happy about something like that?” he asked, turning to her. David felt the tears running down his face.

  “I held my little boy and was told she’d passed. I felt relieved.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I wouldn’t have to tell Trent how much his mother despised him. Can you imagine Blaze, Chris, and Trent learning the truth about their mother?”

  “Don’t Chris or Blaze know?”

  David shook his head. “I can give her something. She never liked anyone knowing how spiteful she could be. When those boys were around she treated them as if they were her whole world. Even I was fooled by her performance.”

  He began pulling out other little items and sheets of paper that Isabella had left. Each memory he pulled out of the box was tainted with her horrid words.

  “I’m so sorry, David. It sounds awful,” Molly said.

  He began to laugh. Molly, his wife, was sorry about the horrible life he’d lived with Isabella. “You’re sorry for me?” he asked.

  She nodded her head.

  “Baby, you should be screaming at me. You were nothing like Isabella, and yet I treated you far worse than you ever treated me. The only thing you’ve ever done to hurt me was hand me the papers for a divorce. That moment was a wake-up call to me.”

  He put each picture back into the box. “I’m going to burn this,” he said.

  “You can’t.” Molly stopped him from lifting the box. “Your heart. The doctor said you need to rest. Don’t do anything stressful.”

  “Will you burn this for me while I watch?” he asked.

  She nodded her head. “If you really want me to.”

  David stared at the box and nodded his head. “I think it is time to let the past go. I’m tired of going over it and coming up with nothing. I no longer want to be held down by it.”

  Chapter Eight

  Twenty years ago

  David stood in the middle of the hotel room sipping a glass of champagne while talking with his friends. Malcolm was standing with him, along with Archer and Elliott. Several more of his friends were dotted around the room. They were celebrating the end of the year. Molly had insisted that he go with his friends that year. She didn’t need him at home, and she’d be fine with the children. He kept checking the phone in the room, just in case. If the music got any louder then he wouldn’t be able to hear the phone ringing. They’d been married five years, and she’d given birth to two sons.

  They were wonderful children, and his other boys were shining under her care. He sipped the bubbly champagne as he walked over to the window overlooking the Vegas sky line.

  “She’ll be okay,” Malcolm said, standing next to him.

  “What?”

  “Molly. She’ll be okay.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why are you worried about her?” Malcolm asked.

  David looked around the room at his friends. He knew each of them had an opinion on his wife. None of them besides Malcolm knew the truth.

  “I know. She’s probably enjoying the freedom of being a single woman,” he said with a laugh. He couldn’t stop thinking about Isabella. Whenever he left for time with his friends or a business trip, he’d learned she was always up to something with another man. Would Molly be the same?

  “She’s not Isabella, David. Last time I checked with my wife, they were sitting 'round the television watching a movie. Molly had made some hot chocolate for the kids while Tilly was sharing a glass of bubbly with your wife.”

  “You’ve talked to your wife?” David asked.

  “Yes, I want some time away, but I
miss her. Tilly is my whole world. When I retire and hang up my medical badge I’m going to spend every waking moment driving that woman crazy. What about you?”

  David shrugged his shoulders.

  “If you don’t start appreciating Molly then you’re going to end up a very lonely old man. Not many young women would have taken on your boys. Even with your riches behind you.”

  “Molly is not like that.”

  “I know, and you should defend her like I do when these people call her a gold-digger.” Malcolm slapped him on the back.

  The rest of the night was spent in the casino. David won some money and then lost some. He moved toward the front desk where he was staying above the casino to see if they’d been any calls for him. When there hadn’t been, he asked for the phone. He dialled the house and waited for someone to answer.

  Molly did on the sixth ring. “Hello.” Her voice came across the phone sounding muffled with sleep.

  “Molly, hi, it's me.” He slapped his forehead at how weak he sounded.

  “David, hi. How is Vegas?” she asked.

  “A lot of noise and money being lost.”

  “And a lot being won I imagine,” she said. He heard her chuckle over the line.

  “What are you doing?” he asked. The moment he heard her voice he didn’t want to stop listening to her.

  “I’m in bed. I was sleeping, but someone woke me up.”

  “Sorry, I thought you’d call or something. I was worried.”

  “I didn’t think your friends would appreciate me calling every few hours, David. They don’t like me at the best of times.”

  He didn’t say anything. His friends, beside Malcolm, hadn’t been the most welcoming. David was struck by the shame of his friends. They’d made Molly’s life hard when all she had done was love him. He knew she did.

  “How was your day?” he asked.

  Some of the female guests passed behind him while he was on the phone. The sound of their giggling annoyed him. “Look, I’m going to cut off for a moment, and then I’m going to my room. Please, don’t fall back to sleep.”

  “I don’t mind, David, if you want to get back to enjoying your time.”