A Piece of Mine

by J. California Cooper

  When she got home Sally was there with James. He said, “This ain’t your home no more. You done left it, so go on away somewhere again, you got your money!” She answered, “Going away six weeks don’t pay for forty years! Go on to your house Sally, this one is mine!” James grunted but took Sally home. He came back to argue all night with Middy and even try to make love. She let him, but she stayed aware of how he felt to her. It was good … and comfortable, but there was no feeling except one of familiarity and that was not enough anymore, somehow.

  Her thoughts in the next two or three months were so tangled. She drove a lot, going nowhere, walked a lot, going nowhere. Laid awake a lot, saying to herself, “Now listen here, enough is enough!” Herself answered back, “What’s enough?”

  One day she went back to the bank and got out enough money from James’ account and went to the lawyers and paid $3000 for the house Sally lived in and deeded it to Sally. Then she got a bottle of champagne, went to Sally’s house to tell her and give her a copy of the deed.

  She told Sally, “You better do something for yourself before it’s too late!”

  Sally said, “But I’m going on 50 years old!”

  Middy answered, “That’s what I mean … you still got time . . don’t waste it! And another thing, I may still want my husband! Now you got your own house, so don’t ever move in mine again!”

  Sally said, “I sure won’t! I rather have my own anyway!”

  Middy said, “That’s smart. Stay that way!” They finished the champagne and Middy left, leaving Sally high as a kite with a smile on her face.

  Middy then went to a piece of their property she particularly liked and told the people they had 30 days to move, to keep their last month’s rent and find a new place. When they had moved, she went in and had it all redone. New paint, new wallpaper, new stove, just new everything! All out of her own money.

  James was fightin mad and arguing and screaming all the time. Couldn’t hardly work, but did. Had his own bank account now, all by himself. But signed the proper deeds for the little house Middy wanted for her own in exchange for her letting all his other future property alone til he died. However all the property and its income was still half hers. She told him, “Take it and do what you want with it when you buy property, just see that I always have some money.” She still takes care of all his home needs … when she is home.

  She commenced to take them trips every six months or so. She go to Africa and Greece and France and everywhere. She took up that sculpture and some painting classes. Sometimes she stay for two months or so. Lately she been stay in six months. House just full of things she bring back to sell. Say she may stay forever one day. Brings me back some material, beautiful, that some woman in Africa makes, cause I love to sew and knit.

  I’m her friend, thats why I know all about it and two years ago, when I was forty-seven years old, I got out and got me a job cause my husband never did save no money! He just always in the street playin after he put in his eight hours! Ain’t spent no time with me in years and years. The TV says he takes me for granted … say he neglects me! So I been saving my money, ain’t spent a dime on nothin but what I really, really, really need! It all goes in the bank! Made my reservation for that place in Switzerland for the rejuvenation, then I’m going on to Africa. Middy has made me a appointment with that lady who makes the homemade material and I’m going to learn it and maybe start a little business of my own. Leavin two days from now! My list ain’t long as Middy’s, but my money ain’t neither and I’ma have to come back and work again, but I don’t care! I’m going where none of the people in my family ever been! I’m going to fly! My mama ain’t never had a chance to do that either, now she is dead and never will have a chance! That map I learned in school, when I could go, gonna mean somethin to me after all these years.

  You may not think so, but liberated is somethin!

  Middy is liberated!

  I can’t hardly wait! I’m gettin liberated too!

  A Jewel for a Friend

  I HAVE my son bring me down here to this homegrown graveyard two or three times a week so I can clean it and sweep it and sit here among my friends in my rocking chair under this Sycamore tree, where I will be buried one day, soon now, I hope. I’m 90 years old and I am tired … and I miss all my friends too. I come back to visit them because ain’t nobody left in town but a few old doddering fools I didn’t bother with when I was younger so why go bothern now just cause we all hangin on? Its peaceful here. The wind is soft, the sun is gentle even in the deep summer. Maybe its the cold that comes from under the ground that keeps it cool. I don’t know. I only know that I like to rest here in my final restin place and know how its gonna be a thousand years after I am put here under that stone I have bought and paid for long ago … long ago.

  After I eat my lunch and rest a bit, I gets down to my real work here in this graveyard! I pack a hammer and chisel in my bags and when I’s alone, I take them and go over to Tommy Jones’ beautiful tombstone his fancy daughter bought for him and chip, grind and break away little pieces of it! Been doin it for eleven years now and its most half gone. I ain’t gonna die til its all gone! Then I be at peace! I ain’t got to tell a wise one that I hate Tommy Jones, you must know that yourself now! . . If I am killin his tombstone! I hate him. See, his wife, my friend, Pearl, used to lay next to him, but I had her moved, kinda secret like, least without tellin anyone. I hired two mens to dig her coffin up and move her over here next to where I’m going to be and they didn’t know nobody and ain’t told nobody. It don’t matter none noway cause who gon pay somebody to dig her up again? And put her back? Who cares bout her?… and where she lay for eternity? Nobody! But me … I do.

  See, we growed up together. I am Ruby and she is Pearl and we was jewels. We use to always say that. We use to act out how these jewels would act. I was always strong, deep red and solid deep. She was brown but she was all lightness and frail and innocent, smooth and weak and later on I realized, made out of pain.

  I grew up in a big sprawling family and my sons take after them, while Pearl growed up in a little puny one. Her mama kissed her daddy’s ass til he kicked her’s on way from here! That’s her grave way over there … Way, way over there in the corner. That’s his with that cement marker, from when he died two years later from six bullets in his face by another woman what didn’t take that kickin stuff! Well, they say what goes around … But “they” says all kinda things … can’t be sure bout nothin “they” says. Just watch your Bible … that’s the best thing I ever seen and I’m 90! Now!

  Anyway, Pearl and me grew up round here, went to school and all. A two room school with a hall down the middle. Pearl nice and everybody should of liked her, but they didn’t. Them girls was always pickin on her, til I get in it. See, I was not so nice and everybody did like me! Just loved me sometime! I pertected her. I wouldn’t let nobody hurt her! Some of em got mad at me, but what could they do? I rather fight than eat! Use to eat a’plenty too! I was a big strong, long-armed and long-legged girl. Big head, short hair. I loved my eyes tho! Oh, they was pretty. They still strong! And I had pretty hands, even with all that field work, they still was pretty! My great grandchildren takes care of em for me now … rubs em and all. So I can get out here two or three times a week and hammer Tommy Jones’ gravestone. Its almost half gone now … so am I.

  When we got to marryin time … everybody got to that, some in love and some just tryin to get away from a home what was full of house work and field work and baby sister and brother work. I don’t know how we was all too dumb to know, even when we got married and in a place of our own, it was all headin down to the same road we thought we was gettin away from! Well, I went after Gee Cee! He was the biggest boy out there and suited me just fine! I use to run that man with rocks and sticks and beat him up even. He wouldn’t hurt me, you know, just play. But I finally got him to thinkin he loved me and one night, over there by the creek behind the church, way behind the church, I gave him somethin he
musta not forgot … and we was soon gettin married. I didn’t forget it … I named it George, Jr. That was my first son.

  In the meantime the boys all seem to like Pearl and she grinned at all of em! She seem to be kinda extra stuck on that skinny rail, Tommy Jones, with the bare spot on the side of his head! He liked everybody! A girl couldn’t pass by him without his hand on em, quick and fast and gone. I didn’t like him! Too shifty for me … a liar! I can’t stand a liar! His family had a little money and he always looked nice but he still wasn’t nothin but a nice lookin liar what was shifty! Still and all, when I had done pushed Pearl around a few times tryin to make her not like him, he began to press on her and every way she turned, he was there! He just wouldn’t let up when he saw I didn’t like him for her! He gave her little trinkets and little cakes, flowers, home picked. Finally she let him in her deepest life and soon she was pregnant and then he got mad cause he had to marry her! I fought against that and when he found out it made him grin all the way through the little ceremony. I was her best lady or whatever you call it, cause I was her best friend.

  Then everything was over and we was all married and havin children and life got a roll on and we had to roll with it and that took all our energies to survive and soon we was back in the same picture we had run away from cept the faces had changed. Stead of mama’s faces, they was ours. And daddy’s was the men we had married. Lots of times the stove and sink was the same and the plow was the same. In time, the mules changed.

  Well, in time, everything happened. I had three sons and two daughters, big ones! Liked to kill me even gettin here! Pearl had one son and one daughter. Son was just like his daddy and daughter was frail and sickly. I think love makes you healthy and I think that child was sickly cause wasn’t much love in that house of Pearl’s, not much laughter. Tommy Jones, after the second child, never made love to Pearl again regular, maybe a year or two or three apart. She stayed faithful, but hell, faithful to what? He had done inherited some money and was burnin these roads up! He’d be a hundred miles away for a week or two, whole lotta times. Pearl worked, takin them children with her when I could’n keep em. But I had to rest sometimes, hell! I had five of my own and I had done told her bout that Tommy Jones anyway! But I still looked out for her and fed em when she couldn’t. Yet and still, when he came home he just fall in the bed and sleep and sleep til time to get up and bathe and dress in the clothes he bought hisself and leave them again! If she cry and complain he just laugh and leave. I guess that’s what you call leavin them laughin or somethin!

  One day he slapped her and when he saw she wasn’t gonna do nothin but just cry and take it, that came to be a regular thing! For years, I mean years, I never went over her house to take food when she didn’t have some beatin up marks on her! I mean it! That’s when she started comin over to the cemetery to clean it up and find her place. She also began savin a nickle here and a dime there to pay for her gravestone. That’s what she dreamed about! Can you imagine that?!! A young, sposed to be healthy woman day-dreamin bout dyin!!? Well, she did! And carried that money faithfully to the white man sells them things and paid on a neat little ruby colored stone, what he was puttin her name on, just leavin the dates out! Now!

  My sons was gettin married, havin babies, strong like they mama and papa, when her son got killed, trying to be like his daddy! He had done screwed the wrong man’s daughter! They put what was left of him in that grave over there, behind that bush of roses Pearl planted years ago to remember him by. Well, what can I say? I’m a mother, she was a mother, you love them no matter what! The daughter had strengthened up and was goin on to school somewhere with the help of her father’s people. And you know, she didn’t give her mother no concern, no respect? Treated her like the house dog in a manger. I just don’t blieve you can have any luck like that! It takes time, sometime, to get the payback, but time is always rollin on and one day, it will roll over you! Anyway even when the daughter had made it up to a young lady and was schoolin with the sons and daughters of black business people, she almost forgot her daddy too! She was gonna marry a man with SOMETHIN and she didn’t want them at the weddin! Now! And tole em! Her daddy went anyway, so she dressed him cause he was broke now, and after the weddin, got his drunk ass out of town quick as lightnin cross the sky and he came home and taunted Pearl that her own daughter didn’t love her! Now!

  Well, time went on, I had troubles with such a big family, grandchildren comin and all. Love, love, love everywhere, cause I didn’t low nothin else! Pretty faces, pretty smiles, round, fat stomachs, and pigtails flying everywhere and pretty nappy-headed boys growin up to be president someday, even if they never were . . they was my presidents and congressmen! I could chew em up and swollow em sometimes, even today, grown as they are! We could take care of our problems, they was just livin problems … everyday kinds.

  Pearl just seem to get quiet way back in her mind and heart. She went on, but she was workin harder to pay for that tombstone. The name was complete, only the last date was open and finally it was paid for. With blood, sweat and tears for true … seem like that’s too much to pay for dyin!

  One night I had bathed and smelled myself up for that old hard head of mine, Gee Cee, when a neighbor of Pearl’s came runnin over screamin that Tommy Jones was really beatin up on Pearl. I threw my clothes on fast as I could and ran all the way and I was comin into some age then, runnin was not what I planned to do much of! When I got there, he had done seen me comin and he was gone, long gone, on them long, narrow, quick to run to mischief feet of his! I had got there in time to keep him from accidently killin her, but she was pretty well beat! He had wanted her rent and food money, she said, but she would not give it to him, so he beat her. She cried and held on to me, she was so frail, so little, but she was still pretty to me, little grey hairs and all. She thanked me as I washed her and changed the bed and combed her hair and fed her some warm soup and milk. She cried a little as she was tellin me all she ever wanted was a little love like I had. I cried too and told her that’s all anybody wants.

  When I was through fixin her and she was restin nice and easy, I sat by the bed and pulled the covers up and she said, “Hold my hand, I’m so cold.” Well I grabbed her hand and held, then I rubbed her arms tryin to keep her warm and alive. Then, I don’t know, life just kept rollin and I began to rub her whole little beautiful sore body … all over … and when I got to them bruised places I kissed them and licked them too and placed my body beside her body in her bed and the love for her just flowed and flowed. One minute I loved her like a child, the next like a mother, then she was the mother, then I was the child, then as a woman friend, then as a man. Ohhhhh, I loved her. I didn’t know exactly what to do but my body did it for me and I did everything I could to make her feel loved and make her feel like Gee Cee makes me feel, so I did everything I could that he had ever done to me to make me feel good, but I forgot Gee Cee … and I cried. Not sad crying, happy cryin, and my tears and my love were all over her and she was holding me. She was holding me … so close, so close. Then we slept and when I wakened up, I went home … and I felt good, not bad. I know you don’t need nothin “forever”, just so you get close to love sometime.

  Well Pearl got better. When we saw each other, we weren’t embarrassed or shamed. She hit me on my shoulder and I thumped her on her head as we had done all our lives anyway. We never did it again, we didn’t have to!

  Pearl wasn’t made, I guess, for the kind of life she had somehow chosen, so a few years later she died and Tommy Jones picked her plot, right over there where she used to be, and put her there and the tombstone man put that old-brand-new ruby colored gravestone on her grave. The preacher said a few words cause there wasn’t much to pay him with and we all went home to our own lifes, of course.

  Soon, I commence to comin over here and sweepin and cleanin up and plantin plants around and this ole Sycamore tree, Pearl had planted at her house, was moved over here before Tommy Jones got put out for not payin rent. I planted it ri
ght here over where Gee Cee, me and Pearl gonna be. I likes shade. Anyway I was out here so much that’s how I was able to notice the day Pearl’s tombstone disappeared. Well, I like to died! I knew what that tombstone had gone through to get there! Right away I had my sons get out and find out what had happened and they found out that Tommy Jones was livin mighty hard and was mighty broke and had stole that tombstone and took it way off and sold it for a few dollars! You can chisel the name off, you know? But I can’t understand what anyone would want a used tombstone for! I mean, for God’s sake, get your own!! At least die first-class even if you couldn’t live that way! Well, we couldn’t find how to get it back so that’s when I started payin on another one for her, and yes, for me and Gee Cee too. They’s paid for now.

  In the meantime, liquor and hard livin and a knife put Tommy Jones to rest, and imagine this, that daughter of theirs came down here and bought ONE gravestone for her DADDY!!! To hold up her name I guess, but that’s all she did, then she left! Ain’t been back!

  Well, life goes on, don’t it! Whew!

  Now I come here over the years and chip away and chisel and hammer away cause he don’t deserve no stone since he stole Pearl’s. He never give her nothin but them two babies what was just like him and then he stole the last most important thing she wanted! So me, I’m gonna see that he don’t have one either! When it’s through, I’m gonna be through, then the gravestone man can bring them two stones over here, they bought and paid for! And he can place them here beside each other, for the rest of thousands of years. I’m in the middle, between Gee Cee and Pearl, like I’m sposed to be. They don’t say much, but Ruby and the dates and Pearl’s on hers, and the dates. Then my husband’s name and the children on mine and her children’s on hers. And that’s all. I mean, how much can a gravestone say anyway?