REPRESENTED

by K'Anne Meinel

  “I have a father and a brother in Kansas where I come from, but then I’m sure your research told you that.”

  Karin grinned, she was right, she already knew that. “Do you want children?” she asked curious.

  Cassie immediately shook her head, her mane of blonde curls shaking with it “no, I don’t want to bring a child into this world, it’s too messed up. I was too messed up for too long. Now, I’m too old.”

  “I had mine very young. When they were grown I became the success I am today. I am glad I didn’t wait or I would never have had them at all. They are a bonus. Now that they are adults I can enjoy them in ways I couldn’t when they were growing up. I’m glad I had them. I wouldn’t want them at this age though. You’re not too old if you really wanted one though...” she said kindly watching Cassie’s face.

  “I enjoy children, it’s not that I don’t, but for a long time I had to be selfish for my career and now, I just don’t think I do want them. It happens that way sometimes.”

  Karin had to agree. She saw so many people who just should not have them and did anyway. She dealt with the brilliant authors who wrote of childhoods screwed up by well-meaning adults who should just never have had children. She thought it was sad but no one knew how touched she was by it. She did her job for them regardless of how screwed up they were or her personal feelings. “Won’t you regret not having them when you’re old and gray?”

  “I’ll have you then won’t I” Cassie grinned as she leaned in and kissed Karin very lightly on the lips. It was the first time they had kissed today and Karin was pleased. She looked around afterwards and said “let’s get some food” as she rose and pulled Cassie up from their reclined positions.

  “Are you afraid someone will see us?” Cassie asked amused. She had come a long way from hiding her sexual orientation and she didn’t want to be with someone who was ashamed of it.

  “I’m hoping no one will sell pictures of Cassie Summers making out with a strange woman and damaging her career further when you’re starting to rebuild it. I’m not afraid of kissing you in public or even holding your hand if that’s what you’re asking but I don’t want to be front page news on the Enquirer or any other tabloid. I would rather start this with respect and friendship and not the pressure of public opinion about whether we should even be together.”

  Cassie could respect that. Karin was right once again. That was an annoying habit of hers....

  Late that afternoon they returned to Karin’s room because she had to finish some work on her computer after a phone call she received, Cassie could see that Karin was tired of baby-sitting clients as she spoke harshly into the phone to someone. She finished what she had to on the computer and then shutting it she stared out at the late afternoon sun as she folded her hands. Cassie came up behind her and began to knead her shoulders. Karin closed her eyes enjoying the sensation. Cassie leaned down and began to kiss along her neck, Karin leaned her head away so more of her neck was exposed. She shivered and goose bumps appeared on her arms from her enjoyment of Cassie’s lips along her neck. She sighed deeply. The sensations that Cassie was causing was also causing her to have a conflict. She wanted this woman, there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted her, but she wanted to wait too.

  Cassie spun her in her desk chair. The chair had no elbow rests and Cassie straddled her as she began to kiss her on the lips. Karin grabbed her and held her in her arms as Cassie began to grind lightly down. Karin groaned quietly as they kissed deeply, their tongues doing a ballet. Karin’s hands caressed along Cassie’s back and she arched against her as she touched there. Cassie’s own hand had started by cupping Karin’s face and then caressing along her neck and then inside her blouse along her shoulder before cautiously caressing down her chest and hesitantly going inside her bra. Karin gasped as she came in contact with her nipple pulling back slightly Cassie saw that it was a good gasp and not a bad one. She leaned down and began to tongue Karin’s now exposed nipple. Just then Karin’s phone went off. Glancing at Cassie who got up off her Karin gave her an ‘I’m sorry’ look before answering it.

  It wasn’t a pleasant phone conversation. Whoever had interrupted them got the cold Karin Myers that people knew and were frightened of. They were verbally flayed and not because of the frustration she was feeling from being interrupted. People just didn’t want to work sometimes and it was part of Karin’s job to make them want to, to motivate them, to demand the best of them. Sometimes she was nice about it, sometimes, like today, not so nice. The phone call lasted a good ten minutes but by then Karin got what she wanted and hung it up in disgust. Turning to Cassie she saw she had recovered her equilibrium.

  “I’m sorry about that” she said apologetically.

  “That’s okay, you’re here to work” she smiled as she walked over to resume her position but Karin stood up instead.

  “I don’t think that was a good idea” she told Cassie looking deeply into those amazing gray eyes.

  Cassie looked at her unhappily. The green jade eyes were as hard as the rock she likened them to. “Why not, you wanted it as much as I did?”

  “I know I do, I want you. I really do. It’s just that I want the rest just as much if not more. If you can’t understand that I don’t know what else I can say.”

  Cassie did understand but for some reason she just wanted the sex so badly. “I must sound like a sex starved hick...” she berated herself.

  “No, I want you just as much. But I don’t want the sex to be the only reason we see each other. Let’s just avoid it for the time being, please?” she asked as she held out a hand which Cassie grasped. Pulling slightly Karin pulled her into her arms and just held her, she smelled heavenly and Karin breathed her in. She laid her head on Cassie’s shoulder away from her neck which she desperately wanted to bury her nose in. She just held her.

  Cassie did want more, too much, too soon. She sighed deeply, held in Karin’s arms she let the hormone surge pass. They ended up just holding each other in their arms and sleeping together that night which was very nice but not at all the degree either wanted at that point, they would wait, they didn’t know when yet, but they weren’t in a hurry.

  The next morning Karin drove Cassie to the airport and dropped her outside the terminal. They kissed lightly on the lips before she drove away. They had enjoyed a last breakfast together before they both went back to their jobs. Cassie to Los Angeles to finish recording her single, Karin to a bookstore and later a lecture podium to help her client’s sell their books.

  Karin was in Robinson’s department store in Portland thinking seriously of sending Cassie a gift but couldn’t decide what to buy her. They had spoken on the phone for hours every night they could when Cassie wasn’t performing or Karin wasn’t working. She had found a couple of marvelous blouses for herself and the saleswoman was in the back getting her several of the same style in various colors for her as she stood there waiting. She noticed a little girl checking out the perfume counter, something all little girls should do, play dress up. She was a pretty little thing and Karin watched her intently, she looked familiar but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why. Then it hit her, she was in Portland, one of her brother’s and his girlfriend lived here as well as their daughter. That was why the little girl looked so familiar. Karin looked around to confirm her thoughts and saw Cindy talking with a sales clerk. Then this little girl who looked just like her brother was Carrie, her niece. Karin walked over, keeping a respectful distance, and asked her “Aren’t you Carrie Myers?”

  The little girl looked up at her frightened that a stranger would talk to her and know her name.

  She smiled warmly “It’s okay, I know you don’t know who I am, but don’t you remember me? Haven’t you seen pictures?” Karin asked.

  The little girl didn’t say anything as she examined the strange woman’s face. She looked familiar but Carrie didn’t know her.

  “I’m your Aunt Karin, your father’s sister” Karin informed her and waite
d. She gave the little girl a healthy amount of space in case she was frightened enough to bolt. She didn’t want to scare her, just say hello.

  The little girl looked up at that information and stared at her curiously. She had always wanted to know her father’s family and only knew them from the few pictures she had seen of them on the internet. Her daddy had very few of them at their home. She recognized the woman now but having not met her before that she remembered was still hesitant to speak to her.

  “You met me once; I think you were four at the time when your parents came back for a visit. You met my son Caleb and your other cousin Lynn.” At the mention of those names the little girl relaxed a little. She had played with her cousins in her own mind numerous times. She remembered those cousins from the pictures. She made up stories and had conversations with them all the time.

  “Caleb is my son” the strange woman repeated to her for clarification.

  Carrie nodded remembering the fun she had in the hotel pool with her much older cousin. He was memorable, this dressed up woman wasn’t.

  “Carrie, what are you doing? Talking to strangers?” another voice broke in.

  Karin grinned at her brother’s girlfriend. They had been together for so long that you could call it a common law marriage but they had never officiated it so she was still just his girlfriend. “Hello Cindy, Carrie is being very good about not talking to me, however I talked to her....” she said quietly.

  Cindy looked at this elegantly dressed woman in surprise. She had only met her on one occasion and had her boyfriend’s rather one sided opinion of his little sister to know her by. The woman before her was very well put together. The pictures she had on the internet didn’t do her justice. “Well hello! What are you doing in Portland?” she asked in surprise as she recognized her.

  “I’m here for a client on business, we are going up to Seattle next” Karin informed her pleased that she had been recognized and not had the police called on her for talking to her little girl, she had seen the alarm on Cindy’s face at first.

  “Does Seth know you are in town?” Cindy asked as Carrie looked on. She was relieved the pretty lady wasn’t talking to her now and was looking at her more intently now that the focus wasn’t on her.

  Karin shook her head “no, he doesn’t. I just got in and I don’t have to meet my client for several hours so I thought I’d get some shopping done.”

  Just then the saleswoman return carrying the blouses in the colors that Karin had requested. Handing over her credit card she left with them to ring up Karin’s purchases.

  “You should come to dinner” Cindy offered.

  Karin smiled tightly “that’s not necessary but can I buy you two lunch” she offered generously. Carrie looked up hopefully; she wanted to know her daddy’s family and had only talked to one of her Uncle’s by phone.

  “Well, we have to be home by 3” Cindy began as she looked at her watch.

  Karin grinned, she was a brilliant negotiator. “It’s only noon, I think you have plenty of time.”

  The saleswoman returned with a bag and a slip to be signed and Karin signed after looking at the total. She took the bag and thanked the woman for her assistance before turning back to Cindy and Carrie “at least let’s have a strawberry sundae” she smiled as she knew she had Cindy with that one, what kid could resist ice cream?

  They made their way to the coffee shop in the corner of the store. After placing their orders Cindy asked “so you’re here on business?”

  “Yes, one of my clients has a book signing tomorrow and I’ve arranged for a lecture at the local college. We will be in Seattle the day after tomorrow and we have three book signings there.”

  “So you’re a manager?” Cindy asked curiously, she had no idea what this sister of Seth’s did; they weren’t close living halfway across the country.

  “Not really and yet I am, I’m a promoter. I arrange things such as press releases, the signings, the lectures, I hold hands, I get the behind the scenes things ready and waiting for the clients so that everything runs smoothly” Karin explained. It simplified it this way, she didn’t get into the details of what she all did, it confused people. She usually told people she was in PR, but that opened another can of worms.

  “You didn’t call Seth?” Cindy asked, knowing the answer before she asked. Seth would have told her.

  Karin shrugged “why, he is busy, I am busy. It’s not like we are close or anything” she said it matter of factly; she didn’t feel bad about it at all, not after all this time.

  “Well you are in town, it would be nice to see you while you’re here. Why don’t you come to dinner?” Cindy tried again. She didn’t understand why this sibling annoyed the heck out of her brothers so but the two brothers barely spoke to her unless they had to.

  “I’m not sure...” Karin began but Carrie interrupted.

  “Please, won’t you come?” she spoke for the first time.

  Karin looked at her little niece. She hadn’t had daughters of her own and she wondered if they would have looked so much like her brother if she had. Her son’s certainly did, they looked exactly like her two brothers. She didn’t regret them. This would give her a chance to get to know her niece however brief it was. It would annoy her brother though. “I don’t think your dad would be too happy about that” she tried to gentle it.

  “Daddy would be happy to see you” Carrie insisted with her six year old logic.

  Karin couldn’t argue the complexities of her adult relationship with her older brother, especially with a little girl. She glanced at Cindy and resigned herself. Maybe she could do it. She just needed to keep her mouth quiet and not say anything to piss him off, that shouldn’t be hard...

  She arrived at the address Cindy had given her using her GPS. They lived on the outskirts of town in an old farmhouse. Karin was surprised to see chickens and a peacock strutting around near the front door as she knocked. Cindy answered the door and welcomed her in. Karin handed her a bottle of red wine “they say that is one of the best grown locally” she said.

  “Oh, that’s great” Cindy replied wondering how the evening was going to go. Seth had been absolutely surprised by who she had invited to dinner and not really too pleased.

  Karin greeted an excited Carrie. After having lunch together and sharing a strawberry sundae they were now the best of friends. Karin hadn’t been able to finish her own sundae so Carrie had helped her. Cindy hadn’t appreciated the sugar rush her daughter had all afternoon but it had been a one-time thing and Carrie hadn’t stopped talking about her Aunt Karin since. Seth had been pelted with questions about his little sister that he would sooner have not answered but Carrie’s enthusiasm he hadn’t wanted to squash.

  “Hello Karin” Seth said in his own way. He had mixed feelings about this little sister of his. They had only seen each other a handful of times in the last two decades. He didn’t know her and what he did know he hadn’t liked. They lived at opposite ends of the country so they didn’t run into each other often. This woman in his front hall conflicted with the girl he had known so long ago, the pesty little sister that he remembered.

  “Hi Seth, how are you” the elegantly dressed woman asked. She was a surprise to him. The scruffy T-Shirt and jeans girl he had known was long gone.

  “I’m good, how are you?” he asked. This was not the woman he thought he knew through family gossip.

  “I’m good, I guess they told you I bumped into them at the store today” she smiled and he was surprised at that too. She had totally changed, and grown up.

  “Yes, Carrie has talked about nothing but” he grinned.

  “Here, let me take your coat” Cindy said as she helped Karin off with a rain coat that revealed an even nicer suit underneath.

  They talked about superficial things through dinner and with Carrie there they came back repeatedly to even more superficial things. Had anyone known Karin they would see how uncomfortable she really was. She explained so that Carrie could understand w
hat she did for a living.

  “I heard you live in New York?” Seth asked eventually.

  “I have an apartment I own there but I still have my house in Milwaukee” she explained.

  “Why do you still have that?” he asked annoyed as though that didn’t make sense.

  “My stuff is still there” she explained as though it may perfect sense.

  “That’s a pretty expensive storage unit” he pointed out.

  She nodded and had to agree. She tried to go home to Milwaukee once every two weeks or so but it was extremely difficult and expensive. “It’s the boy’s home for as long as they want it” she knew that excuse about the expense wouldn’t hold with this penny-pinching brother of hers but it was the best she could offer.

  The dinner went fairly well until somehow Karin mentioned ‘her girlfriend’ and her brother immediately got tense and irritable. She wasn’t going to apologize, the fact she was gay she knew bothered her brother’s, they felt like it was some kind of threat to their masculinity or something but she wasn’t going to let it bother her. She knew who she was, she wasn’t sorry for it and if they didn’t like it, it was their problem, not hers. She ended the night soon after that but it was Carrie’s bedtime anyway. She gave Carrie one of her business cards and wrote on the back her personal cell number as well as her email address.

  “When you’re older you can call me or email me if your parents think it’s okay” she told the precocious little girl.

  “Okay!” the little girl said excitedly. No one had ever told her to email them before.

  “It was very nice to meet you again Carrie. I hope to hear from you occasionally” she told her awkwardly. She knew she probably wouldn’t but then who knew.

  She gave Cindy a similar card and a hug as she took her leave nodding to her brother in goodbye. It had been a pleasant evening but she knew at some point something would ruin it. Carrie fortunately hadn’t been aware of it but Cindy and Seth certainly had. Karin suspected Cindy didn’t care about the fact that she was gay but apparently Seth still did. Why did it matter? It didn’t affect his life....