The Daddy Dilemma

by Karen Rose Smith

  Because she might be Kyle’s mother.

  No matter how much he wanted to eradicate that fact, he kept bumping into it.

  Finished eating, he stood and took his dish and glass over to the sink. Sara did the same. Unfortunately, they reached for the handle to the dishwasher at the same time. Their fingers tangled and this time neither of them pulled away. When Nathan gazed into her eyes, he felt a churning inside of him. It was uncomfortable, unwelcome and totally unsettling. He was standing bare chested and barefoot, with only sleeping shorts between him and her cotton nightshirt. The impulse to kiss her was so strong he had to close his eyes. He took a step back, and when he opened them again, he saw she had done the same thing. She was standing in the corner, both hands around her mug.

  He opened the dishwasher, dropped in his plate and glass and waited for her to put her mug in.

  “I have to rinse it,” she said softly.

  When he lifted the door to close it, he didn’t step away fast enough. The next second she was there at the sink beside him, his body practically touching hers. She didn’t wear perfume, yet she did use a shampoo that smelled fruity. Standing this close, looking down at her, he found his gaze going to the V between her breasts under the nightshirt. He knew he should look away. He really should. But he hadn’t gazed at a woman in an intimate way in five long years. His desire and passion and need had been frozen. Now it all woke up and practically bowled him over.

  Sara was biting her lower lip, and he was fighting for…what? Control? Composure? Propriety? He swallowed, mentally pouring freezing water over his libido, and turned away from her.

  “I’ll be leaving for the airport around seven,” he called over his shoulder.

  “Nathan?”

  He stopped, and politeness made him face her again. “What?”

  “Would you like me to make breakfast?”

  “No. I’ll grab a bagel at the airport. Why don’t you just stay in bed.” It was more than a suggestion; it was practically an order.

  Although he didn’t think she was the type of woman who took orders, she nodded. “That would probably be best.”

  As she turned on the spigot, he strode quickly to his bedroom. He had a feeling he’d finish that novel tonight, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to get any sleep.

  Sara was transferring file folders from her desk to her briefcase when Ted Feeney knocked on her open door Monday evening. Whenever she saw Ted, her heart still hurt a little. Not because she wanted to date him again. She’d learned what kind of man he really was. But her heart hurt because of the dreams he’d represented…the ones she’d had to bury. They hadn’t talked for weeks, not since he’d admitted a woman who couldn’t have children didn’t fit into his life plan.

  So why was he here now?

  She forced a smile. After all, they worked for the same firm. “Hi, Ted.”

  “I heard you’re taking time off again.” He was trying for a nonchalant tone, but she heard an edge of disapproval underneath.

  What she did was none of his business. Not any more. Although they’d dated for a few months, she’d realized after her accident that she hadn’t really known him. He’d been charming to her at work and whenever they’d dated. He’d been a caring lover. She’d respected his lawyer-on-the-rise attitude. But he had his mind rigidly fixed on what he wanted in life and he wouldn’t veer from that. He wanted a woman who could provide him with his own children. Case closed.

  She answered his query. “Yes, I am taking some time off.”

  “Just for the holiday?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ve requested a leave for a few weeks.”

  “Do you think that’s wise?”

  She stopped filling her briefcase. “Wise?” Just what was Ted concerned about?

  “You’ve worked harder than any of the associates since you’ve been hired on, put in more hours. You’ve built up capital. You don’t want to lose all that now, do you?”

  She wondered where his concern was coming from. Maybe he thought he’d been too blunt with her when they’d broken up?

  “Something has come up that I need to take care of. I’m not sure how long it will take.” She didn’t know why she was explaining to him. Maybe because once upon a time she’d thought they could have a future together.

  Frowning now, he kept pushing. “Are you looking around for another position? Is that what this is about? Are you interviewing? Because if you are, the higher-ups will get wind of it and you’ll be out of here quicker than—”

  She held up her hand to stop his interrogation. “Ted, I’m not looking for another job. This is something personal and I can’t handle it long distance.”

  That surprised him. “Long distance?”

  “Betty will have an address and number where she can reach me, and I have my cell phone. I’m not going to be incommunicado. Just away.”

  Regrouping, he thought about it, then asked, “Will you be back for the round of holiday parties?”

  Usually the firm threw a Christmas party. In addition, the managing partners had holiday celebrations in their homes. “I don’t know. Why?”

  He looked a bit chagrined at her question. “Well…I’m not dating anyone right now and I thought maybe we could catch a cab together.”

  Catch a cab together? She almost laughed at his choice of words. “Why? You’re not interested in anything serious with me. What would be the point?” she asked, choosing bluntness to get to the bottom of this inquisition.

  “I like you, Sara. I always have. I’ve missed you…especially in bed. There’s no reason why we can’t enjoy the party circuit over the holidays together, is there?”

  “You want to sleep with me until you find a suitable partner?”

  “Is there anything wrong with that?”

  “For me, there is. You and I…I don’t even know if we can still be friends.”

  “Sara—”

  She wasn’t getting into this now, not when her trip to Rapid Creek was on her mind, not when she was hoping beyond hope that Kyle was her son. Wouldn’t Ted just love that turn of events.

  Clicking her briefcase shut, she took her coat from the brass tree and slipped it on over her suit.

  Ted sighed and preceded her out of her office.

  She closed the door.

  Politely, she said, “Thanks for thinking about me, Ted, but right now I don’t know what the next few weeks are going to bring. In the meantime, you have a great Thanksgiving.”

  “You, too,” he called as she walked down the hall and headed for the elevators.

  Inviting Sara Hobart to Rapid Creek wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever done, Nathan decided, as he hung the wreath Val had made on the front door the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. How would Sara being here change the holiday? How would her presence affect Kyle?

  The answers to those questions eluded him as he heard a vehicle roll up the drive. It was his brother Sam’s van. As always, Patches, a mutt—brown, white and tan, and the size of a Labrador retriever—sat in the passenger seat, peering out the window. His one ear stood up, the other flopped over. Patches was his brother’s best friend.

  Sam hopped out of the silver vehicle and commanded Patches to stay. The dog did.

  Nathan glimpsed the cartons packed in the passenger seats, the snowshoes wedged between them, the skis on the rack on top.

  As Sam strode up the walk, his brown hair lifted in the wind. His blue down jacket was unzipped and his jeans were worn.

  Nathan got a bad feeling in his gut.

  As Sam approached, he stepped away from the door. “Are you on your way somewhere?” he asked.

  “I am. And I don’t want an argument from you. I’m on my way to the cabin.”

  The cabin was a place their dad had invested in after his divorce. It was sturdy, built of logs, and didn’t have a lot of conveniences, except a wood stove insert for the fireplace, electricity and running water. Other than that, it held good memories. It had been a place Nathan, his two bro
thers and his father had gone, all of them confused, after Nathan’s mother’s defection. They’d found laughter again there. They’d fished in the nearby lake, waded in the creek in the back and hiked until they were too tired to think about the fact they no longer had a mom.

  “Why now? You’re going to miss Thanksgiving.”

  “That’s the idea. Ben’s coming in tomorrow night and Dad’s still patting my shoulder, telling me I’ll get over Alicia. I’ve been snapping at Eric all week. The concerned look in Corrie’s eyes just makes me want to shut the office door and lock them all out.”

  Eric was Sam’s partner at Meadowbrook Veterinary Clinic in Rapid Creek. Corrie was a vet tech who had worked for them for a couple of years.

  “You think going away will help?”

  “I’m not just going to be spending Thanksgiving away. I’ll be staying up there for a while—to ice fish, cross-country ski and do some research. I need to block out the world.”

  “How long?”

  “I don’t know yet. When I come back, I come back. I’m not going to say goodbye to Dad, because I don’t want to make long explanations. You’re going to be the spokesperson, so do a good job of it and tell everyone just to leave me alone.”

  “Can Eric handle the clinic on his own?”

  “It’s slower this time of year than in the spring, summer and fall. Corrie’s a big help. I’ve contacted Doc Merkle. He said he’ll come out of retirement if Eric needs him while I’m away. So we’re covered.”

  Sam and Eric had bought the clinic from Dr. Merkle after they’d graduated from veterinary school. They’d gone in hock up to their eyebrows, but the veterinary practice was a success and they were closing the gap.

  “Look. I know Alicia really axed you. But do you really want to miss the holidays with us?”

  “The truth is, Nathan, the holidays make me think of kids. I love being around Kyle, but it just hurts too much now. And knowing Alicia aborted our baby just about kills me every time I think about it. Here, I can’t get away from toys in shop windows, Santa Claus peering down from the lamppost in the square and Christmas trees decorated with toy drums. I need this time. So give it to me, okay?”

  In the van, Patches barked.

  Sam waved to him and called, “I’m coming.” Returning his attention to Nathan, he explained, “I want to reach the cabin before dark so I can check everything. I’ve gotta shove off.” He turned to go.

  “Sam?”

  His brother swung around.

  Nathan reached out a hand. Sam grasped it and they slapped each other on the back. “I’ll do my best to explain this to Dad and Ben,” Nathan assured him. “But Kyle’s going to be a little tougher.”

  “Just tell him when I finally do come home, I’ll let him spend a night with me and Patches.”

  To Nathan’s surprise, when Kyle had been tested for allergies, he showed no sensitivity to animals. That was a good thing, because he loved being around Patches as well as Sam.

  “I’ll tell him. But delayed gratification doesn’t go over well with kids.”

  “It will give him something to look forward to.”

  Since Sam had been mostly incommunicado the past couple of weeks, Nathan hadn’t told him about Sara’s visit and his flight to Minneapolis to invite her to Rapid Creek for Thanksgiving. His brother had enough on his mind. By the time he returned to Rapid Creek, maybe everything with Sara would be resolved.

  But as Sam drove away, Nathan realized there was only one resolution he wanted. He wanted the DNA test sample to prove Sara Hobart was not Kyle’s mother.

  Yet, for his son’s sake, could he really wish for that?

  The results of the DNA test would carve out their road to the future. He didn’t like not controlling his own destiny.

  He didn’t like it one bit.

  As Sara descended the steps of the commuter plane, the late November wind buffeted the travel bag that held her computer. She and Nathan hadn’t talked about exactly how long she was going to stay, but she knew DNA testing with private labs took about two weeks. If he didn’t want her in his house that long, she’d make other arrangements.

  And if she was Kyle’s mother?

  All the possibilities swirled in her head. She had to make a living. She couldn’t give up her job in Minneapolis, could she?

  Those kinds of questions kept her awake at night and served no useful purpose right now. Just as her dreams of Nathan the past few nights served no useful purpose. She was deluding herself if she thought he was interested in her. She was deluding herself if she thought she should be interested in him. He was nine years, a marriage and a lifetime of experiences older than she was. They had nothing in common.

  Except maybe for Kyle.

  As she hurried across the tarmac to get out of the cold, she followed other passengers into the Rapid Creek terminal.

  The airport wasn’t very large and she spotted the baggage claim right away, expecting to see Nathan somewhere nearby. She hadn’t talked with him directly. She’d left a message as to what time she’d be getting in. If he hadn’t gotten it, she’d have to call him again.

  A few minutes later, her bag was rounding the corner on the conveyer belt when she saw a tall, gray-haired and balding man approaching her. “Sara Hobart?”

  She nodded.

  With a smile, he asked, “Is that yours?”

  “Yes, but—”

  Reaching for her bag, he yanked the suitcase from the conveyer belt and held it by his side. Extending his other hand, he introduced himself. “I’m Galen Barclay.”

  Sara had been curious about Nathan’s father, and now she’d have a chance to have that satisfied. But she wondered why Nathan hadn’t come himself.

  Balancing her suitcase easily, the older man explained, “Nathan wanted to spend the evening with Kyle. He asked if I’d come fetch you.”

  She wondered if that was the only reason. Or if he guessed spending time alone in the car with her could be as tense as their last encounter. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Barclay,” she said as she shook his hand. “Does the lodge have many guests over the holiday?”

  “We’re full up.” Appraising her outfit, he remarked, “Glad to see you dressed for the weather.”

  She’d worn her white-and-red down parka, black corduroy slacks with a black turtleneck sweater, and black boots. “I left my suits and high heels back in Minneapolis,” she teased, wondering what Nathan had told his father about her.

  “You have a sense of humor! You’re going to need it around my son.”

  As he started walking and she followed, she asked, “Nathan has brothers, right?”

  “He has two, both younger. You’ll meet Ben tomorrow night when he flies in from Albuquerque.”

  When Galen didn’t elaborate on his third son, she wondered why.

  The parking lot attached to the airport was simple to navigate. As they walked, he mumbled, “I guess I should have offered to bring the car over to the door.”

  “I like exercise, Mr. Barclay. I’m fine.”

  He stopped and gave her another assessing look. Then he said, “It’s Galen.”

  “And call me Sara,” she offered.

  With a short nod, he took off again with long athletic strides a lot like Nathan’s.

  After she was seated in a van that had Pine Grove Lodge printed on its side, she commented, “It’s going to feel funny being here without a car. Is there anyplace I can rent one?”

  “No need for you to do that. Besides the lodge’s van, I have my own car. Nathan has an SUV and a pickup. Can you drive a stick shift?”

  “My first car was a stick.”

  “Good. Then you can drive the pickup.”

  “Nathan might not—”

  “Nathan always sees the practical side. He’ll let you use it.”

  Taking a chance, she decided to try to get some facts out of Galen Barclay. “Is it because Nathan’s practical that he wants to do this DNA test?”

  “You mean becaus
e he doesn’t want you popping up sometime, demanding it?”

  “Yes.”

  He turned on the heater full blast. “That’s part of it, I guess, but there are lots of other reasons, too. He and his brothers didn’t have a mom for most of their lives. He saw how Kyle related to you, and it got to him, whether he’ll admit it or not. Then there’s the asthma attack Kyle had. I didn’t see it happen, but it must have been pretty rough. I think it just emphasized the fact that life’s short and maybe Nathan needs to give Kyle more than a good material life. Do you know what I mean?”

  “I think so. But I know he doesn’t want me here.”

  Galen glanced at her, then shrugged. “Maybe not. Still, he knows this test is the right thing to do.”

  The right thing to do. To Nathan Barclay, that’s what this test was. To her, it was so much more.

  Within ten minutes, they’d turned off the main road onto a lane that wound past a lake and through fir trees. When they arrived at the lodge, Sara couldn’t see much in the dark, but she remembered everything about it, from the gables and stone face to its three stories and double hung windows. As Galen passed the lodge, and a lot where guests parked, her gaze focused on a light ahead of them.

  At the walk to Nathan’s log home, Galen switched off the ignition. Sara opened her door and climbed out, automatically going to the back to get her luggage. She’d opened the door and was pulling out her computer bag and suitcase when Galen asked, “What are you doing?”

  “Getting my luggage,” she responded with a smile.

  “You’re our guest. I’ll take those.”

  “I’m not really a guest. More like an unasked for visitor.” She had to admit that out loud so they all knew where they stood.

  “Maybe so, but I’ll still take the suitcase.”

  Seeing that this was a matter of pride for the older man, Sara let him have the bag and then walked up the sidewalk with him. Galen opened the door without knocking, then stepped into the living room. Kyle was sitting on the sofa beside Nathan, watching a DVD. When the boy saw Sara, he whooped and came running to her, throwing his arms around her legs.