Death Wish

by Lindsey Menges

  “Is there something else?”

  She nods, and I’m surprised when she reaches forward and grasps my hands between both of hers.

  “Thank you.” Her voice swells with emotion and her eyes are watery.

  “F-for what?”

  She drops my hand to wipe away a stray tear. “For everything. Right now, thank you for warning us about the danger Robin’s in.” She looks back at me, that same emotional smile on her face. “But it’s more than that. Thank you for not turning her in. Thank you for hearing what she had to say, and for joining us.”

  I start to protest but she raises a hand. I close my mouth.

  “I know you aren’t a full agent, and no matter what you tell the Chief I can tell you aren’t completely sure about all of this.” She motions to the cave, indicating the entire operation, and I flush, not realizing anyone could see my lack of complete devotion. “But thank you for giving us a chance. For giving her a chance.”

  Her gaze softens when she says this, and I suddenly realize what she’s saying. Understand why she’s so grateful to me for what I’ve done.

  I smile then. “You really love her, don’t you?”

  Kelly blushes. “I think I do. I mean, I know we’ve only been together a few months, and most people would say that that’s not long enough to fall for someone…”

  We both look over at Robin, her face stern while she listens to the instructions her leader gives her. And when I look at Kelly, all I can see is unabashed adoration for that woman across the room. I smile, thinking of my own love for Harrison.

  “Yeah, they might say that. But your love is written all over your face.”

  She looks back at me, the blush on her cheeks only making her look more lovestruck.

  “Thank you, Eliza,” she says again.

  “You’re welcome, Kelly. And even though I’m not a full agent, I’m still going to do everything I can to keep her safe. To keep you both safe.” She nods and grasps my hand one more time.

  We break apart, her to her partner and me to the exit. Darian moves over to my side and asks if I need help finding my way back to the surface, but I turn down his offer. I wonder if he feels guilty about what he said to me during the party. But I would rather make my way back alone. I could use the time to think. As I move through the tunnels, I realize that this is the first time in a long time that I’ve had the silence to truly reflect on my situation.

  It’s funny. Kelly was completely right when she said that I’m not one hundred percent devoted to the cause. But I don’t know why. Is it their methods? That would make sense, but their actions with Robin’s Life Chip have made it clear that they won’t put anyone else in harms way until they can shut down the entire Chip system. Is it my love for my career that holds me back? That… could be it, but after helping Jenny and re-living my own hellish memories, my devotion to the job has definitely gone down.

  I hit the outside of the maze and move forward to the dark hole in the wall. I press my fingers to the metal back of the dumpster, and it slides away instantly. A rush of cold air slams into me. My eyes widen. An unexpected snow storm cropped up while I was underground. I lament my lack of a jacket, but then I remember that I left one in the office.

  I’ll head over there now, and see if I can find any information on how to shut down the entire Chip system.

  I move down the cold sidewalk, nimbly side-stepping the few pedestrians out this late, and when I hear their terrified whispers I finally realize my hesitations for fully joining the Revolutionaries’ cause.

  It’s because I’m afraid.

  Staying with the Godparents is safe. Staying with the Godparents is all I’ve known my entire adult life. And staying with the Godparents means I won’t be executed if the Revolutionaries are caught.

  I look up at the sky, gray storm clouds with a red haze drifting by overhead. A snowflake hits my eye and I look back down, blinking away the drop of frozen water. I shove my un-gloved hands in my pockets and move a bit quicker.

  I’m only twenty-four years old. I’m afraid to devote myself fully because I don’t want to die.

  And I don’t think the Revolutionaries can guarantee my safety.

  *

  Twilight is settling in around me when I enter the Godparent building. The rush of warm air that greets me is a welcome change from the chill outside. I rub my hands over my arms to fight off the remaining cold and head down the carpeted hallway to my office. As I move I see that all of the Godparent offices are empty. Usually around this time everyone has left, unless they are a preparing for a Wish fulfillment that was specified to take place late at night. Even though the floor is carpeted, it is so quiet in the building that I can still hear my footsteps echo in the silence.

  I reach my office at the end of the hallway and open the door. The lamp on my desk is off, but the dim glow from the hallway casts light inside. I can just make out my emerald green coat draped over the back of my chair, its golden buttons glinting softly in the light. I move over to the chair, but just as I am reaching for my coat a shadow passes across the room. A figure blocks the doorway. I spin around, clutching my jacket to my chest in defense.

  “Godmother Hayworth?”

  The hallway’s light is behind them, so all I see is their silhouette cast in shadow. I can’t see their face, and I can’t help but be afraid. Did they follow me? Do they know about the Revolutionaries? Have I ruined everything somehow?

  “Uh, yes? Can I help you?” I subtly shift my weight, paranoia insisting that I may need to fight.

  “Calm down, Godmother. I’m from the main Security Branch.”

  The figure steps into the room and flips on the light switch, flooding the office with sudden illumination. She is a few inches shorter than me, even with her four-inch-high black stilettos. She’s wearing a black suit with a grey camisole underneath, has short, honey-blonde hair and dark, almost black eyes. She walks forward and hands me a Wish Submission folder.

  “There was some sort of clerical mix-up, and we received this Wish at Headquarters by mistake. The assignment is scheduled for tonight.” She glances at her watch while I take the folder. “Actually, it’s due to be completed in a half hour.”

  “A half hour?” I repeat, taken aback by the short notice. I open the folder and peruse the submission, only to be immediately confused. “Um, the target’s name isn’t listed, and there isn’t a physical description.” I look back at the strange woman. “Shouldn’t I have more information? And besides, my trainee isn’t here, and neither is my normal partner.” Why would she pick me for this assignment? And why do I have so little time to prepare?

  “As you can see,” she says, giving me a look that says she thinks I’m pointing out problems to aggravate her, “there is a description of what the target will be wearing tonight: navy blue peacoat, black jeans, and a knit olive green hat. And from what I saw, they want a surprise death—they don’t want to see you coming, and don’t want to know when their death will happen. They gave a copy of their schedule and whereabouts throughout the day, so you can find them and complete the mission without any problems. I’m sure a Godparent with your level of experience will be able to handle that without a partner.” She turns around and leaves the room. But even when she’s gone, she still calls from down the hallway, “Again, I’m just returning a misfiled Wish Submission. Not my problem.” The sound of her footsteps gradually fade away.

  I turn around, irritated by her attitude. “Someone’s in a lovely mood tonight…” I mutter. I sit down at my desk and open the folder. She was right—the client’s outfit and whereabouts for the day are listed on the submission. The Wish states that they want a quick death and don’t want to see it coming. I have gotten more of these types of Wishes than I can count. The people who want to die but are afraid of the actual process will almost always request either a surprise death or a death while they’re sleeping. I usually like having backup for surprise Wishes in case the target fights back, but I suppose the Security branch
woman was right. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble handling this solo.

  I glance at the clock above my door. It’s almost nine. According to the chart, the target will be getting off of work right now and walking home down a nearby street. I know that there are multiple alleys down that street, so I can hide in the shadows of one until they pass by and complete the Wish. Because this is a surprise Wish, there’s no need for me to don a disguise. I grab my earpiece and Life Chip Extractor from the folder. I consider bringing the gun with anesthesia bullets to knock the client out first, but the bullets would take too long to kick in. And besides, they cause unnecessary pain. I leave it behind.

  I don my coat while I exit the building, buttoning it up to protect against the extreme chill in the air. My breath fogs in front of me, sending white clouds into the air. I pull on a pair of black gloves. I look around to ensure that no one is nearby, and head for the street that the target will be on.

  The file said the target would be heading south, so I head north up the road and find an alley to hide in. Because they don’t want to see their death coming, I can’t exactly poke my head out to see when they’re close. I will have to wait until after their shadow passes and sneak up behind them. I dart into the alley and crouch behind a dumpster to wait for my target to pass by. They shouldn’t be here for a few minutes, so I press my fingers to my earpiece to report in.

  “This is Godmother Hayworth,” I whisper. “I am waiting in an alley forty feet north of the Main and Grand Avenue intersection to intercept target. Estimated time for target to arrive is three minutes, and estimated time for Wish completion is three minutes thirty seconds.”

  I wait for a response, but nothing comes. Confused, I take out my earpiece and look at it, but nothing appears to be wrong with it. It’s not that late at night, so I would have thought that some administrative staff were still in the office. They must have gone home early. I shift my weight to keep my blood flowing for when the target comes. The moments pass in silence, my breath still sending white puffs into the dark alley air.

  Something about this Wish feels… wrong, somehow. The late notice, the lack of communication with Headquarters, and the Wish being delivered by a Security officer instead of a Clerical member—it doesn’t all quite fit together. I start to stand, considering leaving and asking questions in the morning, but I’m worried that my questioning any assignment will bring suspicion down on me. And that is the last thing I want. So I crouch once again. I’ll ask questions after the Wish is complete.

  Lone footsteps echo down the abandoned street. I peer around the edge of the dumpster and the light from the street lamps reveals an elongated shadow coming down the sidewalk. I move back into the darkness and stare at the tendrils of light reaching into the alley. The footsteps become louder, and within seconds I see the target’s shadow darken the patch of light in front of me. They pass the alley and the shadow leaves, the patch of light now clean of any darkness. I count to three in my head and then get up, speeding to the mouth of the alleyway. I look out onto the sidewalk and sure enough it’s the target: they are wearing the described clothing and walking away from me. All I see is their back moving down the street.

  I slip out onto the path and reach into my pocket to grab my instrument. I place the Life Chip Extractor in between my teeth, biting down on it like the bit of a bridle. I inhale slowly, bounce on the balls of my heels for a moment, and then rush forward. The distance between me and the target closes in an instant. I leap onto their back. The target—who I now know is a man—lets out shout of surprise, and I cover his mouth with my left hand to muffle it. I slash down across the back of his neck with the Extractor’s knife. The bright red wound opens, and I pull back the Extractor while the client struggles, trying to reach back and pull me off. I shift my weight so that only my left leg is wrapped around his waist, and use my right foot to kick at the backs of his knees. He stumbles, and both of us fall onto the pavement. I click the Extractor’s button and plunge the end into the incision on his neck. I feel the click which signals that the claw has a hold on the Life Chip.

  And then, as my hand is pulling the Extractor back to remove the Life Chip, I notice something.

  The struggle with the target shifted his hat around so that his hairline is now exposed. Time seems to slow down to a crawl, but despite this I’m still unable to stop my arm from pulling backward. As the Extractor pulls free of his neck, his Life Chip in its grip, I see that his hair is curly, golden blonde, and tipped with blue dye.

  The entire world freezes. I don’t understand—why is the target’s hair the same style as his?

  And then the horrifying reality hits me.

  I just completed a Wish submission for Harrison.

  “Harrison!” I scream, turning him over. His eyes are barely open, but as soon as he sees my face they fly wide open. “Oh no, no! Harrison, no!”

  What just happened? How could I have not known that Harrison was the person struggling under my grip? Sure, when you complete Wishes your body seems to act of its own accord, all the hours of training accumulating into smooth and decisive motion, but this. This can’t be real.

  I panic, moving over to lift his head onto my lap. My fingers find the gash in his neck and run over it erratically, as if my hands can undo what they just did. I rip his Chip from the Extractor and try to force it back under his skin but it won’t go in. My hands quickly become covered with his slippery-sticky blood but the wound still won’t heal.

  “Elly?” He moans, his voice horrifyingly quiet. “Oh God, I-I knew they—”

  His sentence is cut off as his body starts shaking, his organs shutting down one by one. He gasps violently and grips the front of my coat. I was frozen in shock when I couldn’t replace his Chip, but the feeling of Harrison’s fingers pulling me ignites something inside. I move my shaking hands forward and pull him to my chest, cradling the man I love. His skin is paling at an alarming rate.

  With his precious last moments, Harrison looks at me as I stare down in horror and whispers, “I love you forever, Eliza.”

  His body shakes with one final, shuddering breath. I can’t do anything but sit here, my arms wrapped around his now-motionless body, and watch helplessly as the light goes out of Harrison’s eyes forever.

  Wish 29

  I don’t remember anything after that.

  No, wait. Yes I do.

  I remember screaming.

  Yeah.

  Screaming.

  And some crying.

  Lots of crying.

  I also remember thinking a single word over and over.

  Why?

  Then everything went black.

  *

  When I come to, I’m lying in a bed in a small, dimly lit concrete room. My head is throbbing, but when I try to lift my arm to touch my forehead I find that my wrists and ankles have been lashed to the metal frame of the bed. A jolt of fear runs through me. But before I can panic Robin is standing over me, looking relieved.

  “Eliza! Oh thank God, you’re awake!” Her eyes glisten with unshed tears. “How are you feeling?”

  “I…” I realize that I have no idea what’s going on, and look up at her through squinted eyes. “Robin, where am I? What’s going on?”

  “You’re in Revolutionary headquarters,” she tells me, reaching forward to push a stray hair away from my forehead. “The doctors had to restrain you because you kept thrashing around. They couldn’t give you the sedative otherwise.”

  “Sedative?” I groan, still confused. “Why would I need a se—”

  Suddenly everything comes crashing back.

  “Harrison!” I scream, wrenching forward and struggling against the ties. Robin jumps back, her expression switching from relief to fear. “Robin. Robin, where’s Harrison? Is he okay? He’s fine, right? Robin, where is Harrison?”

  The unshed tears in her eyes escape, and she lets out a small whimper. “Oh, ‘Liza…He’s… Oh God… I’m so sorry, ‘Liza…” She chokes back a sob. “Har
rison’s dead.”

  As soon as that sob reaches my ears, my world comes crashing down.

  I stop writhing and collapse against the bed. My head falls back on the pillow and I stare at the ceiling.

  “‘Liza? E-Eliza, are you okay?” Robin whispers, her voice still thick with tears.

  I barely register what she’s saying. I’m suddenly catatonic. I hear Robin say more, but the words don’t distinguish themselves. My limbs feel excruciatingly heavy and impossibly light all at once, and even though nothing is there I could swear a brick of lead is crushing my chest. My eyes are open but don’t perceive anything, until I notice a crack in the ceiling above me.

  The crack starts as a thin, barely visible fracture, but as it continues its journey across the concrete it spreads out into multiple branches. Those branches become deeper and continue dividing until they must have spread too much, because there is a large hole in the ceiling where the spider webbing cracks end. From my viewpoint on the bed I can’t see what’s in the hole—it’s just a dark, empty void.

  “Eliza… Please, can you talk to me?” Robin whispers, placing her hand over mine.

  I snap.

  “Don’t touch me!” I shriek, violently rattling the frame as I jolt my hand as far away from hers as it will go. She gasps and snatches her hand back, clutching it to her chest. More tears pour out of her wide, wet eyes.

  “‘Liza, don’t—”

  “Shut up!” I scream, every bit of rage I feel poisoning my words. “Why the hell are you crying? You didn’t know him! You stupid, idiotic bitch, why are you crying? You didn’t know him!”

  She is openly sobbing now, her fists pressing up against her eyes. Her back is hunched, making it look like she’s collapsing on herself. This only enrages me more.

  “God, you are so pathetic! Stop crying!” I try to move, but I am pinned to the bed and only succeed in rocking the bed. “And untie me! Let me go, dammit!”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” a deep voice shouts from the other side of the room.