Myth-Fortunes m-19

by Robert Asprin

  They lowered their spears and ran at Aahz. As they passed under me, I used magik to pluck their weapons out of their hands.

  To my horror, instead of retreating, they continued their onward rush. Without lances in their hands, they bent farther over so their heads were near their knees. The ridges on their backs sprang up into a fan of terrible spikes. Who could have guessed that the spears were the least of their armaments?

  Aahz knew a lot of dirty fighting tricks. Before I could shout a warning, he dropped on his back, grabbed the first warrior by the shoulders, then kicked him backwards into the arms of his fellows. He hit them spines out. They yelled in pain as their fans got tangled.

  I cheered, but my jubilation was short-lived. I had forgotten that the ceiling near which I had taken refuge was a thoroughfare for the Dorsal Warriors. Hands reached through the water and dragged me up into it.

  After having been in a desert for weeks, getting dunked in cold water for the second time in a few days was a shock. I gasped, but kept my nose and mouth shut. The warriors zipped around me, prodding me with their spears. They were trying to force me down the face of the sphere. I didn't want to leave Aahz, and I didn't know how long I could hold my breath.

  I made a big bubble around myself. The trouble was, I didn't have any fresh air to put in it. While I was concentrating on filling it with breathable air, the Dorsals discovered that they could kick the bubble around like a ball. I found myself tumbling head over heels. The fish-men wore expressions of glee. In a minute I would be too dizzy to know which way was up. Then they decided to change the game. They curled up with their arms around their knees, and prodded my bubble back and forth with their spines.

  The air started leaking out in streams of little bubbles. I added magik to the shell to try and keep it intact, while urging it back toward Diksen's office. A group of warriors swarmed around me and kept prodding the bubble downward. I had just enough time to see Aahz in the hands of a dozen Dorsals. He wasn't going without a fight, either. As I passed, he tried to leap toward me. The warriors tackled him and sat on him.

  A solid kick from one of the warriors sent my bubble flying over the top of the sphere of water and down

  the far side. I tried to stop my headlong descent, but I didn't have anything to use for brakes. I stuck out my legs.

  "Yeow!"

  The Dorsals rolled over and stabbed me with their spines. I was starting to get seasick. Enough! I let the bubble pop. The warriors uncurled and grabbed me by the arms. I didn't have very much magik left. I charged up my fingers until they had the stinging power of an Eelectric, a fantastic beast Aahz had introduced me to once. Then I touched my escorts.

  They couldn't make any noise in the water, but they lit up and their bodies went rigid. I kicked loose and crawled through the water. I was at the bottom of the sphere now. If I didn't save myself, I was going to fall right out. I saw the ring-shaped floor of the reception room and grabbed for it. I swung myself up and gasped in a deep breath of air.

  The secretary was back at her station. She recoiled in surprise.

  "Behind you!" she cried.

  I glanced back over my shoulder. Aahz, too, was surfacing, followed by the entire chorus line of a bad water ballet. The Dorsal Warriors grabbed us both and dragged us back in. I reached for the nearest force line and tried to fill my internal supply.

  The next thing I knew, Aahz and I were tumbling downward, driven by Diksen's minions. I refused to let Aahz fall out of the sky again as he had the last time we tried to get in to see the reclusive magician. I made a cup of magik underneath him. Just before he dropped out of the ball of water, it caught him. He floated down toward Balu, who was waiting for us in the sand. I formed another palm-shaped pad of magik for myself.

  "Come on, kid!" Aahz shouted. He reached the Camel and clambered up between its humps. He held out a hand to me.

  I dropped toward my makeshift lifeboat. A phalanx of Dorsal Warriors surrounded me. One of them struck out with the butt of his spear. It hit me in the side of the head. I saw stars. Kicking out blindly against the swimming guards, I felt for the edge of my magikal conveyance and swam over it. I realized, as the air hit me and rushed upward, that I had missed.

  "Skeeve!"

  Aahz's voice floated up toward me through a haze of spinning lights. I saw three or four Aahzes and six or seven Balus. Eight or nine green hands reached out for me. I stretched out for the one that was closest.

  I smacked down on a soft surface. My body stung as if slapped, but nothing felt as if I had broken it.

  "Reach out for me, partner," Aahz ordered. I looked up at the green and black blob moving toward me.

  I put up an arm, but the effort caused the rest of me to push harder on the surface of the sand. I felt myself sinking.

  "The slowsands have him, sir!" Balu cried.

  "Fly, kid!" Aahz shouted. "Come on, you can do it!"

  I reached for the power, but my magikal batteries were nearly exhausted. The slowsands started to creep over my legs, up my side and around my chest. I reached for a force line for a refill. The nearest was the twisting, writhing black line. The rush of magik was overpowering. I felt confused. The magik covered my face. No, that was sand! I picked my head up and spat. I didn't want to suffocate.

  The sand was inexorable. It flowed up around my back and squeezed my chest so tightly I couldn't inhale.

  I threw a skyhook upward to haul myself out. I hung onto the magical line. Balu had nearly reached me, when he disappeared from my view, smothered by the mass of golden brown. My vision went black. I heard Aahz yelling until my ears were filled with sand. The last thing I remember was struggling to move my arms or legs. I felt as if I was encased in concrete. I couldn't draw in a breath. I passed out.

  Chapter 20

  "Sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper."

  —The Seven Dwarves

  My vision cleared, but still all I could see was golden-brown sand. I gasped in air. There was plenty of it, sweet and moist. I was no longer suffocating. What a relief!

  I realized that the layer of sand was a ceiling many feet over my head. I must be in a bubble or something like it. Still, I couldn't move. My arms and legs were bound together as thoroughly as they had been by the slowsands. I looked down.

  I lay on a wooden table. Gilded animal heads on finials marking the corners of the table looked back at me. My entire body was wrapped in linen bandages about three inches wide, lapped in a complicated pattern from my feet to my neck. My arms were crossed on my chest. I had seen the pattern somewhere before. A memory tickled at the back of my mind. That was right! When I was a young boy, my schoolmaster had brought in a speaker, a man who had traveled to exotic lands. He had stories to amaze us, and showed us plenty of strange artifacts he had picked up along the way. One of his exhibits was a dead body in a long box. The corpse had been wrapped from head to toe in bandages just like these. Its face was dried out instead of rotten. It wore an expression of terror and woe, as if it had been buried alive. Was I about to undergo the same torture?

  No. No one was going to stick me in a box! I had to get free, get back to Aahz.

  I had plenty of magical power available, thanks to the force line, but I couldn't figure out how to unwind myself. Instead, I envisioned a pair of giant scissors. I ordered them to start cutting at my neck and work downward.

  At the sound of the first snip, a shadowy figure that I had not noticed before, turned away from the quivering golden light of a table lamp. It advanced upon me, its eyes shining orbs of black onyx, huge in a shrunken, desiccated face. Its mouth was open in an O.

  "No!" it wailed at me. "Don't!"

  I recoiled, but I couldn't get away from the creature until my arms and legs were free. I ordered the scissors to snip faster. The coils of linen flew away from me in a whirlwind. As soon as I could move my knees, I leaped up and off the table on which I had been lying. The skinny figure made for me. I put the table between me and it, dodging this way and that
.

  Then the cold hit me. I started shivering uncontrollably, so much that the figure had no trouble coming

  around and laying its bony hands on me.

  "I told you not to," it said, in a gentle, throaty whisper. "Be calm, Overworlder. You have been almost drowned and battered by the sands. You are safe now. We wrapped you to keep you warm. You are not used to our climate. Sit down on the bier."

  Unable to speak or move, I obeyed. The skinny being picked up the lengths of linen. With lightning fast movements, she, for I must call her she, wove them together. Instead of a shroud, she formed a jacket with a high neck and long sleeves, and all in less than a minute.

  "Here," she said, holding it out to me. "Maybe this will be more comfortable. We didn't want you to hurt yourself while you were recovering."

  I put it on and tied the tapes that fastened it. Not only was it handsome and well made, but it was warm. My shivering slowed down and eventually stopped.

  "Where am I?" I asked.

  "This is the land of Aegis," she said.

  "But Aegis is hot and sunny," I said.

  "This is Lower Aegis," she explained.

  I eyed her. "Are you a Ghord?"

  "No. We of Lower Aegis are Necrops. My name is Aswana. I am a healer of the royal hospital."

  "I'm Skeeve," I said. "How long have I been here? Wherever here is?"

  "You have been in my care for some hours," Aswana said. "But who knows how long you were falling through the sands or from what direction? The slowsands do not release their victims easily. And it is rare that they give us a visitor who is alive, I am sad to say. You must be a powerful magician."

  "Why do you say that?" I asked.

  "First, you were able to clip off your bandages though your hands were tied," Aswana said, her skeletal cheekbones lifting to reveal a toothy smile. "But secondly, you survived your descent. We are glad to have rescued you. We have few visits from those who live above."

  "I don't know why," I said, trying not to cringe away when she laid her hand on my arm. I kept telling myself that she was not like that corpse in a box. She was a living being, and I had seen far worse. She only looked like the living dead.

  "We are very glad that you have recovered. Would you like some refreshments? Come with me. Our king has said that he would like to meet you when you had recovered."

  "I've got to get back to the Valley of Zyx," I said. "My friends. They must think —" I swallowed uncomfortably at the thought. "They might think I'm dead."

  Aswana patted me again, and I tried not to recoil.

  "We will ask the king to help you. He is very wise and kind."

  "Welcome to Necropolis!" said the tall male on the throne. He had a narrow face with high cheekbones

  and straight brow ridges. His cleft chin was nearly fleshless like the rest of his people, but he was not unhandsome in spite of it. Nobles and wise men and women surrounded him. All dressed in clothing woven of the wide linen bands, many studded with amulets and charms. Such skilled tailoring impressed me. It occurred to me that Bunny might enjoy something made by them. I also realized it was a wealthy nation. The king's high-backed throne was pure gold, with inlaid precious and semiprecious stones forming pictures. The nobles' chairs weren't as large or as elaborate, but impressive as well. They also went in for magnificent jewelry, wide collars and bracelets, like those worn by the Ghords of Upper Aegis. The king held out a hand encrusted with valuable rings. "You may call me See-Ker. I am the twelfth of my name to rule the Underworld."

  He beamed. I bowed low and introduced myself.

  "Thanks for rescuing me," I said. "I was pretty sure I was going to die when I fell into the slowsands."

  "They take people that way," See-Ker said, gravely. "Many of them give up hope long before the sands draw them under. You were most fortunate. But since you have reached us safely, we must have a celebration!"

  "But, your majesty," I began. I was concerned that Aahz and the others would be worried about me. The last time they had seen me, I was drowning in slowsand. "I shouldn't..."

  "Of course, you should!" See-Ker exclaimed. "Be seated. You are our honored guest. Let the festivities begin!"

  He clapped his hands. Servants ran in. One of them brought me a gilded chair and helped me to sit down. Aswana took a dainty seat beside me. Short tables with the feet of animals, also gilded and jeweled, were set before us. Servants appeared with tall glasses in gemstone colors for us and filled them with rich red wine. They placed small plates, cut out of polished white alabaster and filled with sliced fruits and nutmeats, none of which I recognized, within easy reach. Unlike the gemstones, the food had almost no color. It looked unappetizing, but when I finally got up my nerve to try a piece, it tasted good. I realized I was hungry. It had been a whole day since I had had anything to eat. I emptied my plate, which was refilled again and again by silent-footed servants.

  See-Ker clapped again, and a dozen dancing girls ran out and began to gyrate upon the wide stone floor, accompanied by robed musicians pounding on drums or plucking at C-shaped harps. The dancers wore colorful garments, made of linen so fine as to be translucent. I gulped as one of them approached me and threw a length of her filmy veil around my neck. She drew me close, gazing deeply into my eyes with her shiny black orbs, but I couldn't find anything seductive about her. To be honest, I liked girls with a little flesh on their bones. These didn't have any.

  The rest of the court appreciated the entertainment, though. The nobles pounded on their chair arms or waved their wine glasses. A few got up and danced with the girls, singing and whooping along with the music. Far from the city of the dead this resembled when I first saw the Necrops, they were a happy, lively folk.

  Still, I couldn't stay to enjoy it for long. I sat through the first round of entertainment. I stood up and tried to get the king's attention after the girls ran off, to loud applause and shouts from the audience, but he pointed and shouted as another group came on, these dressed in loose-fitting trousers and vests.

  "See my acrobats, Overworlder! They are the finest in Upper or Lower Aegis!"

  One of the rail-thin Necrops knelt almost at my feet, stuck a torch in his mouth and blew a stream of fire. I jumped backwards. The king laughed.

  "Good, isn't he?" See-Ker yelled. "I would get indigestion if I did that!"

  The nobles laughed.

  Reluctantly, I sat down again. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy the fun or the honors. I really needed to get back to the surface. I tried to look as if I was having a good time. I pinned a smile on my face for every servant who brought me food or drink, and gave a hearty round of applause to each of the entertainers who bounded on or off the mosaic floor.

  I guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought. Aswana slipped away from my side and made her way to the king's side. She leaned up and whispered in his ear. The shiny black eyes grew wider, and the dried-out face nodded once or twice. Aswana smiled, bringing out those prominent cheekbones.

  As soon as the thirty-piece orchestra finished their concert, the king clapped his hands. "Come here, Visitor Skeeve."

  I approached the king. The musicians made way for me.

  "Are you not happy here in my kingdom?" See-Ker asked. "Have we not provided all that you need? Clothing, food, amusements, friendship?"

  I bowed low. "I'm sorry. King See-Ker, but an accident brought me here. My friends are probably worried sick! I have to get back as soon as I can."

  "We will bring you home as soon as may be," the king replied. "It would be our pleasure."

  I brightened. "Can I go now?"

  "I am afraid not," See-Ker said. "It is bright daylight above us at the moment. We cannot go into Upper Aegis in the daylight. Sunshine can kill us."

  "Your majesty, my friend... he probably thinks I drowned. I want to get back before he gets too upset."

  "I'm afraid that he will already have had much time to be upset," See-Ker said gently. "What was the hour of your departure from them?"

  "Late
afternoon," I said, thinking back.

  "You have been with us a day and a night and a day again," See-Ker said.

  I felt as if I had been struck in the chest. I had been unconscious that long?

  See-Ker gestured, and the servants ran to bring my chair around. I sat without really feeling it underneath me. The king regarded me sympathetically.

  "I am sorry for the shock. It lacks a few hours yet until we may safely travel on the surface. Please accept my assurances that we will go as soon as it is possible. In the meantime, try to enjoy yourself. I offer you anything that Necropolis has to make your stay enjoyable."

  With that, the king clapped his hands again.

  "The entertainment will continue! I summon the players to perform the royal Chi-Kin dance!"

  A group of Necrop men in woven kilts ran out on the floor and began a rhythmic performance of clapping and posturing. Everybody in the audience, noble and commoner alike, joined in. They were

  having fun, but I just couldn't concentrate.

  I also sat through fourteen rounds of Name that Glyph. I got tired of listening to unsuccessful contestants boast, "I can name that glyph in two strokes" because they never could. Next up came a drinking game wherein each member of the audience was furnished with a beaker of wine and a glass. A bard took his place on the stage to tell a story of a long-ago hero. Every time he said the words, "And would you believe it?" they had to drain their glasses of wine. For such thin people, they put away food and drink in quantities a Pervect would envy. I refused to drink myself into inebriation.

  "Why are you so troubled, O Skeeve?" Aswana asked.

  "I'm concerned for my friend," I said. "I'm afraid he's going to try and go up against a magician named Diksen. He was responsible for me falling down here into your kingdom. Have you ever heard of him?"

  Aswana looked astonished. "But of course! His mother, Maul-De, comes from our people. He loves her dearly. His Mumsy is the most important person in his life."