Love's Lost Embrace

by ChaShiree M.

  “Love.” I say tentatively.

  She looks up at me and my knees buckle at the evidence of tears on her cheeks. I drop down in front of her, cradling her face in my hands, and drink every drop of her salty sadness. I never want to see tears from her eyes. Nor be the cause of them.

  “Baby, why are you crying?” Her sobs will be my undoing. For every sob she lets out, my air is sucked out and leaving me suffocating in self-loathing.

  “I just don’t understand. I am so confused, Trim. For five years, I told myself what you said you felt for me wasn’t real. You left me without a word. Not a letter, a card, or anything. You never came home. I have tried to hate you for five years. I just knew Lei told you about the baby and you just didn’t care. But here you are telling me everything I thought I knew is a lie and I…...I just don’t know anymore.”

  Fuck. I hate seeing her like this. Get your head out of the gutter Trim and make this right.

  “Come here baby.” Lifting her up, I sit her on my lap and let her cry into my shoulder. Man, it feels good to hold her in my arms.

  “Baby, do you remember that night?” As fucked up as that night ended, it started out pretty, damn great. My dick must remember too, because he is rising up right under her ass and if the way she is squirming is any sign, she can feel it too.

  “I remember Trim.” She says. Voice husky and deep with sadness and need.

  “I do to baby.” I tell her, while rubbing her ass. “But you need to know the rest. So, I need you to sit here and listen without interrupting me. I only want to talk about this once and then I want us to forget it. Ok? After tonight, nothing else matters but us. You, me, and our son.”

  “OK.”

  Now how the hell do I make this story shorter?

  Chapter Six

  Love

  I have been sitting on this couch for…. hell, I don’t know how long, lost in the memories. The night we made TJ will forever be branded in my mind as the single most wonderful experience of my life. And the worse.

  It was the day of my 16th birthday. He cornered me at school and after making out for what felt like forever, but not long enough, he told me.

  “Be ready tonight, baby. Your grandpa still play BINGO on Friday nights?”

  “Yeah. Afterwards, he goes drinking with his friends. He is usually not home, until sometime in the early morning. Why?”

  “It’s your birthday, baby. I told you I was only waiting for you to turn 16 and not a second longer to make you mine in every way. Time’s up. I am picking you up at seven. I want to be the guy that takes you out to a fancy dinner and gives you roses and shit, but I am too fucking obsessed with getting inside of you. Every day that I don’t have my mouth on you or my cock inside claiming you is fucking torture.”

  I shivered at his words as the warmth spreads over my body and making its way to my face. My nipples had gotten hard and felt heavy even inside my bra. My little cotton panties were soaked, and I had never been happier to have on a skirt than I was in that moment, because there would have for sure been a spot on the front of any pants I had on.

  “So, baby, go home, get cute, and get ready.” With that he kissed me again, pat my butt, and sent me on my way. Even then, he was intense, dark, and broody. For an 18-year-old boy, he was dominant in all the best ways and for some reason I still couldn’t explain it made me feel safe.

  The night had been perfect. He picked me up and drove me to the most expensive hotel outside of town. When I walked into the room, every part of the floor was covered in rose petals. Even the bed. The lights were off, but there were little tea lights everywhere. I remember feeling in awe and special that he went through all of this for me.

  Fading in and out of the memory, I can feel the tears spilling down my face. When I look back at that time, before everything was changed, there wasn’t a person in the world that could have told me he would leave me and not come back. Thinking about the gentle yet firm way he handled me that night makes my body feel itchy, but it makes my heart feel battered.

  I am so lost in the memory, I didn’t hear him when he came down the stairs. More to the point, I didn’t realize I am in a full out sob until I hear him call my name and asks me why I am crying. When I can finally articulate it to him, he sits me on his lap and tells me the truth.

  “That morning when I dropped you off at home, I was so lost in my own head feeling on top of the world, that I didn’t think about the consequences of dropping you off that late or I would have brought you home with me. When I got into my room, I went to look through my window hoping to see you. Instead, what I see is him striking you and wrapping his hands around your throat. Everything went black, Love. It was like a bull to a red flag. Just the thought, that anyone thought they had the right to touch you, let alone hurt you sent me into a rage. I charged out of the house, broke your door down, and raced up the stairs. Hearing your screams, begging him to stop was the last straw. He could have killed you, Love. Fuck no. I wasn't about to let that happen. With literally no thought other than to make you safe, I grabbed him and threw him over the railing.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck needing the comfort, just as much as he does. The memory of my grandfather trying to choke me to death, because I was a slut like my mother for spending the night out with Trim is still hard for me to recall. That my own flesh and blood could do something like that to me.

  “When I got the Sheriff’s office, Sheriff Everhart, tried to pin a murder on me. Lei had the presence of mind to call Dirk Wayland and have him come and represent me. Dirk made the case that I was protecting you, and that the marks on your neck and body would prove imminent danger. So, when he couldn’t pin a murder on me, he tried to get me for statutory rape. Dirk slapped him with a defamation lawsuit if he didn’t drop it, given that Georgia’s law is the age of consent which is 16. The Sheriff tried to claim he knew I didn’t wait for your birthday. The fucked-up thing is, Love, it didn’t matter that I had never been in trouble or that I got mostly A’s. It didn’t matter I worked or tried to be a good person, it only mattered that my father was a piece of shit.”

  His head is hanging, and I can feel the turmoil he is going through. I too know how hard it is to live in the shadow of someone else’s life and mistakes. After all this time, our hearts and souls are still so connected I can feel the strings tugging his in every direction. I squeeze his neck a bit tighter, letting him know I am here and not going anywhere. It’s true. I may still be hurt and confused about all of it, but if I want to continue not lying to myself or anyone else; the truth is now that I have him back, I would be a fool to walk away.

  “Basically, the deal was I had to enlist in the service and not come back. However, I want to be sure you understand, there was never a chance of me not coming back for you. I was always going to make us a family, Love. You were mine from the moment I first saw you, when you were 11 years old and nothing and no one could ever change that.”

  And just like that I can feel my veins pumping again to let the blood flow freely. “But why didn’t you tell me? Write me? Why didn’t Lei?”

  “My sweet baby. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to feel guilty about all of this. And you would have. The thing is Love, I would do it all over again and go to jail just to make sure you were safe. I don’t regret a second of what happened or the consequences. Except, for not being here for you while you were pregnant. As far as why I didn’t write you. Baby, in the Marines we are trained to be killers. Maybe not the kind that kill without reason or provocation, but killers, nonetheless. We are in dangerous situations all the time, never knowing where the enemy is at any given moment. I realized quickly, once I got there that there was no room for distractions, love, or devotion where I was going. If my mind wasn’t 100% focused all the time, one of my fellow soldiers or myself could die. How could I come back to you if I was six feet under? I said this to Lei, and I gather that is also why she didn’t tell me about TJ.”

  Wow. Listening to him talk and
layout the reasons for what he did, I can feel the ice around my heart melting away. I also feel a bit overwhelmed. All the information being thrown at me at once is a bit much. I want to ask him about his time in the service, but somehow, I don’t think now is the best time. Scratch that. I know now is not the best time, because currently his hand is under my shirt, pinching my nipples, and pulling on them trying to turn them into missiles.

  “Enough talking. It’s time to remind you. To remind both of us of who we are to each other.” He whispers in my ear. In one swoop, he lifts me off the chair and holds me in bridal position as he carries me up the stairs.

  Once we make it to my room, instead of putting me on my feet, he lays me on the bed. Where he stands over me with hooded eyes and a tension so palpable, I feel a single shiver go through me, knowing how much he is trying to hold back.

  His eyes take a slow tour over my entire body, taking me in one inch at a time and the perusal itself is making me squirm. I can’t help but be a bit nervous. The last time he saw me with all my clothes off, I still had a 16-year old’s body. Not, that of a woman who has had a child. I have stretch marks now, hips that have spread, and my breast are at least a cup size bigger than they were.

  “Love.” He groans as he wipes his hands down his face. He is clearly trying to control himself and this is good for my ego.

  “Jesus. I have dreamed about this moment for five years. Nothing could prepare me for the real thing.”

  The desire pooling in my panties is probably leaking out by now. With him looking at me like a rare cooked steak, it makes me feel like the sexiest woman alive and makes me feel brave.

  “Trim.” I moan while rubbing my hands across my nipples. Gasping as I feel the sensitivity. Every time I move my hands over the turgid nipples, it sends a bolt of electricity straight to my pussy, while making me writhe and moan on the bed wanting and waiting for him to take me.

  “Don’t fucking look at me like that baby. I was without you and your tight pussy for five years and after only having one taste, which barely whet my appetite, I need to do things my way. I am going to take my time and lick every single inch of you. And you my little temptress are going to fucking let me. Now lie back and spread your legs so I can see the wet spot that is just for me.”

  Holy shit. Who knew that dirty, talk could do it for me? But it obviously does because I know that spot, he is so fixated on has grown bigger just from those words.

  “Shit. Seems my Love likes it dirty. Duly, noted. Oh baby. Look at that wet spot growing.”

  He is driving me crazy. He is not touching me in anyway, but I can feel the nerve endings in my body firing, preparing for what’s to come. My legs are moving of their own volition and squeezing themselves together, while trying to create friction for my pussy which is begging for some relief.

  “I said open your legs and let me see.” He unzips his pants and pulls his cock out of his pants. At first glance, there is nothing threatening about the steel rod between his pants, but after a few strokes it grows immensely, and suddenly I am equal parts scared and more turned on. Holding my legs open for him like this feels decadently dirty.

  “Trim...touch me. Please.”

  “I am baby. I am going to touch you over, and over again. But I am barely in control of myself right now and I want to make sure I don’t maul you when I finally get my hands on you. I have to take some of the edge off first.” He rattles this off while moving his hands up and down his shaft over and over. The head is red, angry looking with the precum leaking out like a drizzle on cinnamon buns. Breathing faster, turned on by the sight in front of me, I lick my lips wanting the taste of him in my mouth.

  “Let me help you, Trim. I want to taste you.” I don’t recognize my own voice.

  “Damn it Love. Are you sure? You don’t have too.”

  “I know. I want to.” He hesitates for a second before slowly walking toward me. I am not sure what I expected him to do, but inches from my mouth he stops.

  “Take your panties off baby. I want to look at your pretty pussy while I fuck your mouth.”

  Slowly and feeling a bit nervous, I move my hands to my panties and wiggle them down my leg. When I get them off, I open my legs back up for him and stare at him upside down waiting for him to put his beautiful cock in my mouth. He says nothing at first, just pushes his pants and underwear all the way down and I have a momentary second of awe. The entirety of his body is so fucking hot.

  Who said anything about a six pack? This fucking sexy ass Adonis in front of my face has an eight pack. Who has an eight pack?

  He finally moves over to me and his hand comes down and caresses my face. When his thumb comes to my mouth, he puts pressure on it demanding I open it without words. His thumb goes in my mouth and I moan around it as I suck it into my mouth like I want to do to his cock.

  “You want it bad don’t you baby? It’s ok. I’m going to take care of you. Open wide.” He removes his thumb and slides is cock across my lips over and over never going inside. My tongue sticks out swiping across it at every swipe just teasing me with the action. Finally, after forever, he sticks the head in.

  “Mmmmmm.” I moan. I don’t know what I thought it would be but his salty, musky, ivory flavor is a welcome taste.

  “Fuck baby. Your hot little mouth feels so fucking good wrapped around my cock. Shit. I wonder if I can get it down your throat.”

  Oh god. His words are causing my body to quake with untapped desire. I can feel my nipples straining toward his mouth as my pussy swells and weeps, begging for someone to touch her. Thinking I could relieve some of my own tension as he saws his cock in and out of my mouth, I reach my hand down but he catches it.

  “Nah ah baby. This is my pussy now. Only I get to make her purr. Now open wider so I can see.” Just at that moment, his cock hits the back of my throat and I gag unprepared for depth. I can feel the saliva dripping out the side of my mouth as my throat, tightens over and over. I feel as if I am suffocating as he pushes further and further. I should be scared. Try to pull back, but I don’t want to. I feel so out of control and wild. So desired and wanton. Finally, he pulls back and the air rushes back in my lungs. I recover and continue to lick and hollow out my jaws. His actions begin to feel frenzied and just when the buzzing in my pussy seems to have reached a fever pitch, he plunges his fingers inside me.

  “What the fuck. How did I make it without this hot as pussy in my face and on my cock for five years? Shit baby. I would love to come down your throat and watch you drink my shake, but I have to be inside you right now.”

  He removes himself from my mouth causing me to whimper, but only for a second. He wedges himself between my legs as his mouth assaults mine. His hands take hold of both mine at the side of my head and he stops kissing me long enough to impale himself inside of me. No prep, preamble, announcement, nothing. It’s everything and too much at the same time. The primal way with which he takes me sends me into a fevered frenzy and I fuck him back with as much vigor.

  “I’m sorry baby. I thought I would be able to last, but this first time is going to be quick and hard. I promise I will make it up to you after.”

  Totally gone, I can’t form the words to tell him its ok. I simply open my legs wider in acquiescence and ride this feeling of divine ecstasy with him. One of his hands comes down to rub my clit and I can feel the zing making its way in my blurry vision.

  “Trim. Yes. Harder. I can feel it. Oh, shit Trim. Yes. So good.”

  “Fuck baby. When did your mouth gets so fucking dirty? Motherfucking tight ass pussy. I love you baby. Cum for me. I’m about to blow. I need you to go first.”

  The muscles and veins on the side of his neck are so pronounced I want to lick them and drive him crazy like he is doing me. So, I do. I lick the sweat from his neck savoring the very essence of him. Allowing it to flow through my veins and become a part of my DNA. This makes him even more feral if that’s possible.

  He pounds in and out of me so hard I swear my tits are
going to bounce off. Being able to feel every nuance of my body enjoying this claiming, is amazing. His head comes down and he sucks my nipple into his mouth, using his tongue and teeth in alternating rhythms. Every nerve ending in my body is alive. The dragging of his cock as it moves in and out of me feels so right. His finger pinches my clit almost to the point of pain and I know this is it.

  “I’m Cumming Trim. Yes. Yes…...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

  “Love. Fuck. Yessssssss. Take it all baby. Shit.”

  Light blinds me as my vision blurs and I am robbed of the ability to speak. I feel as if my body is floating somewhere devoid of light but filled with pleasure. My hearing would have gone if it wasn't for the fact that my ears love the groans coming from him and knowing I was the one who brought him to his knees. So, to speak. My muscles are exhausted, but happy. My body is so sensitive that each kiss he continues to rein on my nipples and neck and everywhere, feels like little needles. How do you recover from something so life changing?

  Taking stock of Trim, his body is still shaking as he comes down from his release. I find myself rubbing his back as I finally begin to relax. Mini aftershocks make the calming process take longer, but it’s a wonder with him still being inside me still semi-hard. He himself seems to be trembling, fighting the aftermath of what I can only deem as cataclysmic.

  When he has finally calmed down, he flops down on the side of me and almost as if we are connected in some other type of way, we both let out a laugh from deep inside and it feels good, to laugh with someone again. No. It feels good to laugh with Trim. Again.