Dead Men Don't Eat Cookies

by Virginia Lowell

  Olivia was tempted to call Del. She’d left him a message about Kurt’s invasion of the Gingerbread House kitchen, but Del hadn’t called back yet. Maybe he was schmoozing with the lab staff while they analyzed DNA results. She picked up her cell phone and checked messages. Nothing. Del might be catching some shut-eye before driving back to Chatterley Heights. She could only hope he wasn’t actually driving home exhausted. No, she thought, he would have called her at once if the DNA results were available.

  Tired or not, Olivia decided to head back upstairs to her apartment. She could brainstorm more on her own sofa, slouching comfortably while Spunky snoozed on her legs. Olivia wedged through the door to the sales floor to keep Spunky from sneaking into the kitchen. She needn’t have worried. No clicking Yorkie claws rushed toward her. Maybe he hadn’t heard her open the door. She flipped on the light. Spunky’s chair was empty.

  “Hey, Spunks, where are you?”

  A furry face poked out from under the heavy curtain that covered the large front window. With an air of urgency, Spunky scurried toward the store’s front door, where he turned in tight circles and whined.

  “Oh no you don’t.” Olivia was well aware of Spunky’s manipulative tactics when in pursuit of nocturnal quarry. “You do not need to go outside. I’ll bet you’ve had your eye on a squirrel, haven’t you?” She opened the store’s door. Spunky shot into the foyer and flew toward the front door. Olivia cringed as he scratched at the door and whimpered.

  “Oh, Spunky, must you? It’s the middle of the night.” But Olivia knew she had no choice, unless she was willing to clean up a mess. “All right, but make it quick. Hang on while I get the extra leash.” She always kept one stashed in a small bureau in the foyer, just in case. When she’d snapped it on and opened the front door, Spunky raced across the porch and down the steps. Olivia stumbled after him, clutching the leash. They reached grass without a moment to spare.

  “That was well and quickly done,” Olivia said. “Now let’s go to bed.” Spunky’s ears perked up, though probably because he’d heard a squirrel. Then a full choir began to sing “Stille Nacht,” in German . . . outdoors . . . at three o’clock in the morning. Well, Maddie did like to begin celebrating the holiday season early. She also enjoyed playing with Olivia’s ringtone. Restraint, however, was not in Maddie’s vocabulary.

  As the musical onslaught began again, Spunky yapped in alarm and took shelter against Olivia’s ankle. She picked him up and felt his little heart pounding. Her cell phone went quiet, so she didn’t check her caller ID. Maybe Del had called with the DNA results. She’d insisted he do so as soon as he knew anything. Well, Del could wait until she was back in her apartment.

  Spunky had regained his nerve. He wriggled free of Olivia’s loose grip and landed on his feet. As “Stille Nacht” once again shattered the silence of the night, Spunky lunged toward a nearby squirrel. He hadn’t a hope of catching it, but he did yank Olivia off balance. She managed to right herself, hang on to Spunky’s leash, and put her phone to her ear. Her mother would never believe her capable of such a triumph of coordination.

  “Hi,” Olivia said, gasping for breath. “Did you get the test results?”

  “Yes, Livie, and I’m not pregnant.”

  “Maddie?”

  Olivia heard Maddie’s distinctive chuckle. “Well, that was fun, Livie, but we don’t have much time. Did I hear Spunky’s squirrel yap? Are you in the store?”

  “We’re outside.” With her free arm, Olivia scooped up her pint-sized hunter. “I forgot to buy puppy pads.”

  “Which turns out to be a good thing,” Maddie said, “because it means you are outside, more or less dressed, and ready to be picked up.”

  Olivia heard a squeal in the background. “Why?”

  “No time. We’ll meet you at the curb in front of the store. Be ready to fling yourself into the back seat.”

  “But Spunky—”

  “We’ll have to bring him along,” Maddie said. “He might come in handy, in case . . .” The sound of murmuring voices came through the connection.

  Olivia had a bad feeling. When she had a bad feeling, it was usually correct. “Maddie, is my mother with you? What are you two up to now? Because I refuse to be . . .” Olivia realized she was talking to air. At that moment, she heard squealing tires. Maddie’s little yellow Volkswagen screeched to a halt at the curb in front of The Gingerbread House. Olivia had never felt so grateful to be the only nighttime resident at the north end of the Town Square.

  The driver’s side window lowered, and Maddie’s head poked through. “Come on, Livie, move those legs. It’ll be dawn before we know it.”

  Spunky yapped happily as he and Olivia slid into the backseat. “This better be really important,” Olivia said as the little car took off.

  Maddie turned on her bright lights. “Ellie will explain. I’ve got to concentrate. We need to get there fast.”

  Ellie twisted backward to face Olivia. “We’re heading for the boarding house, Livie. Something is going on there. I saw two lights, you see.” Ellie nodded emphatically.

  “Two lights . . . Okay, but I don’t see. And, Mom, bear in mind it’s a short trip to the boarding house, so be concise.”

  “I’m always concise, dear, but apparently I’ll need to start from the beginning.” Ellie loosened her seatbelt so she could turn more easily. “You see, it all started with Ida. She was on her way back to town for her evening shift at the diner when she saw a car hit a cat. The car drove on, but Ida stopped, of course. She’s hard as an over-baked cookie, but she loves animals.”

  “Sure, Ida’s a softie. Whatever you say, Mom.”

  “No need to be sarcastic, Livie. However, in the interests of time . . . The cat was injured but alive, so Ida took it to Chatterley Paws for emergency care. It wasn’t far out of her way. Ida was walking back to her car when Lenora caught up with her and begged a ride to Pete’s Diner. Business is business, Ida told me, even though she suspected Lenora would wangle a free meal out of Pete.”

  Olivia bit her tongue to keep herself from interrupting.

  “Dear Lenora . . .” Ellie rolled her eyes heavenward. “She neglected to mention to Ida that she hadn’t told Herbie and Gwen where she was going. Naturally, they would have been horrified.”

  Olivia couldn’t stop herself. “Horrified at the thought of Lenora eating at the diner?”

  “In a minute, Livie, all will be clear. You see, Lenora was, in fact, responding to Binnie’s afternoon blog post, which I suspect you haven’t had time to read.”

  Olivia shook her head.

  “Well, Ida had read it, of course, so she got suspicious when Lenora began to prattle about her play. Ida wondered if Lenora had some wild notion about hunting for more bones or maybe treasure. When Lenora left the diner, it was dusk. After that, the diner was so busy Ida forgot all about the blog and Lenora.”

  “The blog, Mom?”

  “Yes, of course, the blog post is vital,” Ellie said. “Binnie hinted . . . well, actually she came right out and insisted that the old boarding house was full of hidden treasure. Well, not treasure as in gold and silver, but she did mention the Chatterley cookie cutter collection . . . and maybe another skeleton or two. No one takes Binnie seriously, of course.”

  Spunky yapped as Olivia sank back against the seat. “No one except Lenora. Are you sure she hasn’t finagled a ride back home by now?”

  “Positive,” Ellie said. “I called Herbie and Gwen to check. They are frantic. They had no idea she’d left until they’d finished surgery and begun to prepare dinner. By then, it was well past dark. So they called me, and I told them that Ida had given Lenora a ride to the diner. So they called Ida. She said Lenora had left the diner an hour earlier, alone.”

  “So you think Lenora sneaked off to the boarding house to search for the Chatterley cookie cutter collection?” Olivia tried to visualize the t
iny, elderly woman ripping down a wall.

  “I hate to interrupt,” Maddie said, “but we have arrived.” She slowed the Volkswagen to a crawl as it crunched over the disintegrating remains of a private road that once had led around to the back of the Chatterley Boarding House. Calliope and her workers had cleared away much of the debris around the abandoned property. However, they’d yet to tackle the trees that had sprouted behind the building and grown tall over the decades. Maddie killed the engine. “This is as far as the car can go,” she said. “We’ll have to walk the rest of the way.”

  “Wait a minute.” Olivia scooted forward to poke her head between the front seats. “I want to be sure I understand what we’re getting ourselves into here. You said you saw two lit windows, right, Mom?”

  Ellie nodded. “At opposite ends of the top floor, which consists of a corridor between two rows of rooms. There’s a bath in the middle of each side. Come on, I’ll show you.” She stepped out of the car and signaled to Olivia and Maddie, who followed behind, cracking small branches along the way. Olivia kept Spunky close to her chest. There had to be dozens of squirrels nearby. It was a miracle he hadn’t yet gone berserk.

  With the aid of a small flashlight, Ellie led them along a circuitous route through dense trees. They soon arrived at an opening several yards from the building’s back entrance.

  Olivia saw the two lighted windows on the second floor. “Are you sure no one can hear us?” she whispered. “What if Spunky starts yapping?”

  “The windows are closed, dear.” Ellie doused her flashlight. “They are good, thick windows. Dear Imogene made sure that Horace provided the very best construction materials for the Chatterley Boarding House.”

  Olivia loosened her stranglehold on Spunky’s little jaw. “Good for Imogene, but doesn’t that mean we can’t hear anything? What can we possibly accomplish out here? In fact, why are we here at all? Are we sure Lenora is even in there? The workers might have left those lights on.”

  “You forget, Livie . . . I’ve been here once already this evening, looking for Lenora.” Ellie pointed toward the upper left corner of the building. “When I arrived, only that one light was on. I figured it had to be Lenora, and I was just about to go into the building when the other light went on.”

  “But, Mom, haven’t you been checking the building at night for Jack and Alicia? They might be sneaking in to stay warm. They probably think no one would be out looking for them at night.” Olivia couldn’t keep the exasperation out of her voice.

  “Olivia Greyson, I’ll thank you to remember that I am not an idiot. “

  “I didn’t call you an—” Spunky silenced Olivia with a whimpering yap. “Okay, that’s it,” Olivia said. “I’m locking you in the car, young man. Maddie, I need the keys.”

  “We might need Spunky’s protection,” Maddie said as she handed Olivia her car keys. “Take another look at the boarding house windows.” She pointed toward the upper floor of the building.

  “Oh, my,” Ellie said. “Now there are lights on in three rooms. Is the entire town of Chatterley Heights planning to tear down my walls?”

  Chapter Twenty

  Olivia felt uneasy about locking Spunky in Maddie’s VW. His sad brown eyes pleaded with her through the closed window. He would yap unhappily for a while, afraid he’d been abandoned, but at least he would be safer. Olivia pulled her sweatshirt tighter as she made her way back through densely packed trees to rejoin her mother and Maddie behind the Chatterley Boarding House. A wet leaf plopped down on her head, quickening her heart rate. She was relieved to find Maddie and Ellie where she’d left them. As they watched, a light appeared and disappeared in a corner window.

  “Maybe it was a trick of the moonlight,” Olivia said.

  “No,” Ellie said. “I think someone with a flashlight just left the kitchen.”

  Maddie said, “I’ll bet that was Jack and Alicia. They were probably hungry.”

  “Then I’m glad I restocked the refrigerator,” Ellie said. “I wonder if they realize they aren’t alone. I’m not sure how far sound carries inside the building. The original construction is quite solid.”

  Olivia glanced up at the two lighted windows on the second floor. She saw no movement, but the windows were high, and those rooms were generously sized. “Okay, then. Let’s start with the kitchen.”

  “You want to go in there?” Ellie’s eyes seemed to widen in the moonlight. “Shouldn’t we call Del or . . . or someone?”

  “It might be a good idea to let Del know there’s something afoot at the boarding house.” Olivia whipped out her cell phone and punched in the code for Del’s number. She was sent directly to voice mail. “Del, it’s . . . Well, I’m not sure what time it is, but it’s dark. Mom, Maddie, and I are in the woods behind the boarding house. It appears to be occupied, perhaps by several people. Otherwise, all is—”

  “Livie, look up there.” Maddie pointed to the top floor of the boarding house. The light had gone out in the corner room. Within moments, the room next door lit up. “Someone is moving from room to room. What do you want to bet it’s Lenora searching for the treasure Binnie mentioned in her blog post?”

  Olivia scanned the building’s upper level. “So who is in the room at the other end?”

  “I realize you two are more experienced in these matters, but isn’t it time to alert the Twiterton police?” Ellie asked. “I do own the boarding house, and no one has my permission to be in it right now.”

  “That’s no fun.” Maddie checked the time on her cell phone. “If you’re scared, we could call it a night and leave Lenora to fend for herself, but that wouldn’t be right. I vote we go inside and find out what’s going on. Livie?”

  “I think it’s too early to call in the cops,” Olivia said. “Most likely it’s some gullible readers who fell for Binnie’s silly post.”

  “Won’t they all discover each other at some point?” Ellie asked. “The promise of treasure can turn decent people into greedy monsters.”

  “Or they might have a treasure hunting party,” Maddie said.

  “Let’s find out what’s going on.” Olivia signaled them to follow her. “Luckily, we can use your key to get inside, Mom. We should start with the kitchen. If Jack and Alicia have been eating our sandwiches and cookies, they owe us an explanation.”

  “Yippee!” Maddie whispered.

  The three women tramped through wet weeds toward the building. As they approached the kitchen, Ellie whispered, “Stop a moment. I’ve been wondering how all these people got into my tightly locked building. There might be an answer just ahead of us.” Ellie pointed toward steps leading below ground to a small door. “I haven’t had a chance to replace this door, so I padlocked it, thinking no one would even see it.” She grabbed the door’s primitive handle. “The padlock is missing. I should have checked more often.”

  “Well, then,” Olivia said, “let’s join the crowd, shall we?”

  “The hinges are rusty, so the door doesn’t fully open.” As Ellie slid through the narrow space, Olivia and Maddie exchanged a doubtful look. Maddie cringed as she scrunched herself through the opening, and Olivia, who was taller, barely made it. “I think part of my shoulder scraped off,” Olivia whispered. “I intend to leave by the front door, like a normal person.”

  Maddie nodded in agreement. “We will look back on this as an adventure . . . eventually.”

  “Where are we, Mom?” Olivia smelled earth and mold.

  “This is an old earthen cellar below the kitchen.” Ellie switched on her flashlight and aimed it toward the ground. “Be quiet and follow me.” She took Olivia’s hand. Olivia reached back with her free hand and felt Maddie grab hold of it. Ellie must have explored every inch of the building because she seemed to know exactly where she was going and how to get there.

  “Will we reach the kitchen soon?” Olivia didn’t like the scratching sounds she wa
s hearing.

  “We’re almost there,” Ellie said. “Livie, do you happen to have a gun with you?”

  “You know I don’t own one, Mom. I’d only shoot myself in the foot.”

  “You could get professional training, dear. You might want to think about it.”

  “Couldn’t I just take martial arts at your new school?” Martial arts sounded painful but potentially less fatal.

  “I have a black belt, Livie. A gun is faster and more efficient.” Ellie sighed audibly. “I suppose you are right, though. You’d probably trip and shoot yourself in the foot. Okay, here we are. I oiled the hinges on this door, thinking I might want to use this cellar for storage. That was before I got a good look at it.”

  The door opened so quietly that Olivia was surprised when a sliver of light shone on the stone steps below. Her mother poked her head into the kitchen. “No one is here. Follow me.” She held the door for Olivia and Maddie.

  Olivia glanced around the room she and Maddie had organized and tested on Monday, only three days earlier. “I’m sure we didn’t leave this room looking so neat. Mom, did you clean up after everyone left last Monday?”

  “Don’t be silly, Livie. I had too much to do. I didn’t even think about it.”

  Maddie felt the towel hung neatly near the sink. “This is damp. Looks like you were right, Ellie. Alicia and Jack must be hanging out here. I’ll let Lucas know this place isn’t as secure as he thought.”

  Ellie opened a cabinet door to find nonperishable items organized by category. “My goodness, I’m certainly not responsible for such precision and order, and I didn’t observe such a quality in Alicia, either. When this unpleasantness is all over, perhaps I’ll hire Jack as building caretaker.”

  “Good idea,” Olivia said. “Always assuming Jack isn’t an ax murderer.”

  Maddie put a finger to her lips. “I hear something,” she whispered, pointing toward the kitchen ceiling.