Three Loving Words

by DC Renee

  Part of me had initially moved her to her bed because she looked uncomfortable, which she normally didn’t. A part of me wanted to feel her skin pressed against mine, something I never truly got to enjoy. And a third part wanted her to know I wasn’t the complete asshole she thought I was, which was ironic because I spent my waking moments making sure she knew what kind of jerk I was. I didn’t want her to wake up yet I did. She didn’t stir. Her breathing stayed even, her lips slightly parted, and she even curled into me as if I was her safety net, like a big cuddly bear that would protect her. I wasn’t her savior, though; I was her enemy. But in those moments, I felt like someone else, someone who wasn’t me. Maybe that was why I really carried her to bed each time I saw her. Maybe I liked being a different person and I couldn’t be that at any other time. When she was awake, she spurned me on just by being in the same room, but this was different.

  I was a bit worried after the first night. She’d wake in her bed not knowing how she got there. What would she think? I waited for some kind of confrontation all day. I figured she’d rage at me, wondering if I took advantage of her in her sleepy state. I couldn’t blame her if she thought that way. I wouldn’t … I couldn’t. But I had …

  I thought she’d threaten me with everything in the book and I actually wondered whether I’d let her; maybe let my guilt finally surface. Yet I knew the minute she’d open her mouth, I’d feel nothing but rage. I couldn’t help it around her. She did that to me. She pissed me off. She pushed me to the edge. She made me feel and do things that I didn’t want to. Yet another reason I hated her. She made me the monster she thought I was. I was aloof, selfish, not altogether caring about anyone or anything, but I wasn’t the asshole until I was around her. She brought it out of me.

  She never confronted me. I waited for the day either she’d wake up as I carried her or she’d argue with me the next day when she found herself in her own bed. It never came. It became natural for me to take her to bed, tuck her in, and leave to my own room as if nothing happened. I always wondered what she thought about waking up in bed, but I never asked.

  Eleven

  Paige

  The first time I woke up in my own bed after I slept on the couch after another “Oh, Enzo” night, I thought I had imagined everything and had never gone downstairs after all. The second time, I was a little freaked, and by the third, I thought I had gone bat shit crazy.

  “Nora, I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me,” I cried through the phone.

  “P, you used to sleepwalk when you were a kid.”

  Hallelujah! I had forgotten that tiny little tidbit of my life. “But I haven’t done that in years and the doctors told Mom and Dad that I’d grow out of it,” I whined.

  “You did, for a while, I guess. But stress will do crazy things to your body. And if anyone is under stress, it’s you. Take it easy, P. You need to relax and stop letting this situation get to you.”

  “I know.”

  “What you really need is to leave altogether, but I know you’re not going to do that, so I simply say that you need to tell that asshole to leave you alone. That or maybe rat poison.” She laughed. “But seriously, you’re roommates and nothing more. Don’t let him get to you. Go do whatever you need to do to make your life better.”

  That exact conversation had me deciding that I was going to cave on Chandra’s requests for me to join girls’ night out. It actually wasn’t so much a request as a demand, and it wasn’t so much me caving as her dragging me out, although I didn’t protest as much as I would have prior to Nora telling me that I needed to loosen up. That was how I ended up at a club. My first one.

  I went over to Chandra and Luke’s place to get ready there.

  “How am I going to get in?” I asked since I was underage. Actually, so was Chandra, but I knew she and her friends had been to plenty of clubs before.

  “With these,” she spoke as she pushed up my boobs.

  “What?” I sputtered.

  “Paige, you’re beautiful with a knockout body, and once I’m done with you, the bouncers won’t be able to take their eyes off you long enough to ask for an ID.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Okay, so it also helps that this place is pretty lenient and doesn’t check IDs as long as you look good.”

  I might not have had much experience with going out and dressing up, but I hadn’t lived under a rock. I had a skimpy dress or two that I held onto for absolutely no reason since I never wore them … until now.

  My hair always had a natural wave to it, with curls that fell over my shoulders. I never really styled it much, just either put some of it up or left it down.

  “Straight or emphasize the curls? Hmm.” Chandra was talking to herself as she held up a curling iron and a flat iron and stared at my face. Her face suddenly lit up as she squealed, “Both!”

  She ended up straightening my hair and then curling the very bottoms. Then came the makeup. I had never seemed to have a problem with doing makeup. However, the way Chandra made my eyes up and had my lips looking plump had me doubting my skills. I’d have to get lessons from her. With the whole package, I looked like a different person, an older woman. I felt sexier than I ever had before.

  “What’s Luke doing tonight?” I asked after we finished getting ready.

  “Boys’ night, but don’t worry, he’s not going to crash our night. He and his buddies are doing an all-night marathon of video games.” Chandra laughed as if she had some secret. I wanted that. And it hit me yet again that I’d never have that closeness with anyone.

  We picked up Chandra’s friend, Lynn, who I had met only twice before, but she later became a good friend of mine as well, and then we headed to the club. It was exactly what I had expected. Loud music vibrated through the walls, the beat pumping through you, forcing you to want to dance even if you didn’t like the song. Everyone was done up as if they were waiting to be discovered for the next best porno, myself included apparently. Bodies moved in sync with each other, having dry sex on the dance floor. I was sure I saw a few people who might have been getting close to losing the “dry” part of dry sex.

  “This is insane!” I yelled over the music.

  “It’s a bit much.” Chandra leaned into my ear. “But there’s something about it. The ability to lose yourself and just feel the music with everyone else around you doing the same; it’s worth it.”

  “What about the guys?” I asked pointing to a guy inching toward a girl dancing near him.

  “I shoo them away on account of Luke, but Lynn sometimes dances with them. Sometimes, she pushes them away, too. Sometimes, she doesn’t come home with me, if you know what I mean.” She winked. “It’s all fun, Paige. You don’t have to go home with them or anything. You don’t even have to dance with them. If they’re persistent, just shove them.” She laughed. “Live a little. Have fun.” She sounded like Nora. And they were both right. I was going to enjoy my night.

  And enjoy, I did. I drank, probably too much, but Chandra swore if I drank some Alka Seltzer before going to bed, I’d be fine the next day. I danced as if no one was watching. So yep, I probably danced like a freak, but I didn’t care. I was actually having a blast. I even danced with a few guys, but once they got too handsy, I let them know it was a no-go.

  It was after a few hours when I felt hands slide down my sides and a body press into my back. It had been happening all night, but the way this guy caressed my body with his hands with sensual yet gentle. It felt nice. It felt more than nice. I put my hands on top of his and moved them both down my legs as I dipped. His body followed mine. I felt like I had just joined the dry sex community. I looked at Chandra so she could give me a nod if he was cute or a shake if he wasn’t. She was turned, telling some guy to back off, so I turned toward Lynn. She had a very attractive guy at her back, too. I caught her eye and gave her a nod just as she gave me one, too. I smiled wide. I knew it shouldn’t matter if the guy I was dancing with was good looking, as long as I was having fun,
but it sort of did matter. I wasn’t sure why, but knowing he was a looker made me feel sexier. Like if I could get a hot guy interested in me, then it must mean I was pretty hot myself, too.

  He moved his head down to my neck so his breath tickled my ear. I felt like a character in a romance book, realizing and feeling every detail about the moment. He breathed in and out, letting the coolness and then heat mix and cause a shiver to run through my body. I could feel his satisfied chuckle at that.

  Then his mouth moved to my ear, his lips just a hair away from brushing it. “I want you.”

  Oh God no, I thought to myself. That voice. It was low and hoarse, sexy and rough, a promise of what could be, and I knew he could deliver. I’d heard it plenty of times. I hated that my traitorous body loved the way his fingers continued to stroke me as his simple but seductive words washed over me. I barely even recognized the gravelly voice. He’d never used it on me. But I knew who it belonged to. I didn’t want it to, but there was no denying it.

  “I want you,” he whispered again, and although my body hadn’t been silent at all, my mouth could no longer stay quiet.

  I turned and pushed away at the same time. “Enzo.” It was a statement.

  “Paige?” His was a question.

  Twelve

  Enzo

  I always liked this club. It had a wide range of beautiful women, from underage college girls who wanted a night of fun to cougars who thought I was God’s gift to them. I could dance when I needed or wanted, but most of the time, my buddies and I got a table and watched. The ladies would usually come to us. I was out with three friends that night, but we had an unspoken rule – every man for himself. If we happened to find a group of four single hot girls, better for us. But it never really worked out that way.

  We hadn’t been in the club for more than a few minutes when Chad spotted my kill for that night. He just didn’t know I was going to mark the territory yet.

  “Hot damn, check out that fine ass.” It had truly been a fine ass. The girl was with two others, who had been facing us. They were both good looking and either would have been good for me, but something about the one whose back was to us was more alluring. Maybe it was the way she moved, slightly unsure but oh-so-sexy. Maybe it was the way her dress clung to every curve, showcasing her amazing body. Maybe it was the way her hair fell down her back, slightly sticky from sweat and a bit mussed from dancing that made it look like sex hair, and it had me imagining all the ways I could grip those locks while I pounded into her. Maybe it was none of those things, but something was definitely appealing about her and I hadn’t even seen her face.

  “You know a body like that has to have a face to rival.” I hoped what Chad said was true.

  “I guess we’ll see,” I spoke as I started striding toward her.

  “What the fuck, man. I saw her first,” he called after me.

  “She has friends.” He knew better than to challenge me for a girl. I’d win, hands down, every time.

  I saw him head for one of her friends, but moments later, she was telling him to fuck off. I didn’t care; I had my hands all over my prize, and the way she felt in them was unbelievable. Her scent was familiar, but I couldn’t place it. It didn’t matter. Her body melted into mine and we moved slowly to the beat, our bodies practically singing with anticipation. Oh, this was going to be good. I looked over at Mikey, who was having more luck with her other friend. He tipped his head to let me know the front of my partner was just as good as her back. That was all I needed.

  “I want you,” I told her, and I felt the tremble of her body. I imagined her body quivering under mine. “I want you,” I repeated again for good measure. She was going home with me. And that was when things fell apart.

  “Enzo.” I heard the voice loud and clear even though she spoke it low.

  “Paige?” I wasn’t sure if I was questioning whether it was really her or whether it had truly been her that had spurned such a reaction from my body.

  “Enzo?” her friend who had pushed Chad away asked.

  “Chandra, meet my husband.” She waved a hand at me as if I was nothing. “Enzo,” she stated my name again.

  “I …uh …” her friend, Chandra, stuttered.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Paige finally asked me, her voice full of questioning and no sense of anger. Well, that was just dandy because as I stood looking at her, I was getting pissed.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” I gritted.

  “I’m out with my friends,” she snapped back, her voice getting a bit of an edge.

  I didn’t know what came over me, but I grabbed her arm and dragged her away. I saw her look back at her friend and shake her head, some sort of indication not to follow, I assumed, but I didn’t give a damn.

  I pulled her into a hallway near the bathrooms where the music didn’t overpower our conversation.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, Paige?” I asked her again.

  “I told you. I’m out with my friends having a good time. Or I was until you showed up.” She sounded frustrated.

  “You look like a fucking whore.” She didn’t look any different from the hundreds of other women at the club, probably even more covered up than some were, but she had no right to look like a temptress in the first place. Showing that much skin was not allowed for her.

  “You bastard,” she cried, and I saw her shoulders heave with the effort to not actually shed any tears.

  “I might be a bastard, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re here parading yourself around and dancing with every Tom, Dick, and Harry.”

  “You danced with me!” she yelled.

  “And I thought you were an easy lay, so that proves my fucking point,” I screamed back.

  I hadn’t necessarily thought she was easy, but I had wanted her. My blood boiled thinking of all the other guys who looked at her that same way. How many people had imagined her naked? How many guys had touched her before I got there? How many people had she flirted with and danced with and led on? I was irrational and fuming and a whole mix of emotions. And it always seemed to be that way with her.

  “And what about your boyfriend? You think he’d like knowing you were rubbing up on other guys’ dicks?” It actually made me smile a bit to think there was trouble in paradise. Hell, I was starting to think I’d rather have her here than with Luke. Even his name left a bad taste in my mouth.

  “That’s none of your business,” she retorted.

  “I wonder how he’d feel about you shaking your ass for everyone.”

  “Is this about Luke or about you?” she asked, her voice full of venom.

  “This is about you! You are my wife and the way you act in public for everyone to see affects me.”

  “And the way you act in public?”

  “Is my own fucking business.”

  “So is what I do,” she stated.

  “No! I will not have this.”

  “What are you going to do, ground me?” she asked hotly.

  “Not a bad idea,” I sneered.

  “You can’t control my life any more than you already do.”

  “You sure about that?” I asked.

  “Ugh!” She held up her hands as if in defeat. “You … you … I don’t even have the right words for what you are!”

  “I’m your fucking husband, so act like you’re my wife,” I said ardently.

  “In name only,” she spoke quietly, her voice sounding slightly forlorn.

  “It doesn’t matter how.”

  “It does to me!” I didn’t even know what in the hell she meant, but it really truly didn’t matter.

  She was starting to push my buttons again. I had wanted to go out and have a good time and here I was about to be stuck babysitting her. No way in hell was I letting her out of my sight with the way she was dressed tonight, and I wasn’t ready to go home. It was more like I didn’t want to have to explain to my friends that it bothered me that every guy, including them, was ogling my wife
.

  I slapped my hand against the wall I had been leaning on as I pushed away from it. I saw her flinch at the sound. It pleased me and infuriated me at the same time. I wanted her to be wary of me but not like that. I had proved time and time again that I wouldn’t touch her, so what the hell was her problem?

  “Dammit, Paige!” I yelled in her face. “We’re in this because of you. So suck it up, little girl, and behave or I’ll make you behave.”

  She opened her mouth and then shut it. Good. I didn’t give her a chance to respond before I grabbed her and started pulling her back to the dance floor.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You think I’d trust you to act appropriately after what I just witnessed? Oh no, no way. I’m watching you closely all night.”

  “I’ll just go home.”

  “And bring yet another fuck buddy into my house? No, thank you.”

  “You’re an asshole!”

  “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m not going home yet, so that means you’re hanging with me for the rest of the night.”

  “I hate you,” she whispered so low I barely heard her over the music, but I did and it struck me cold.

  “I hate you too, Paige. I hate you too.”

  Thirteen

  Paige

  “You didn’t tell me your husband was hot,” Chandra whispered when we got back to Enzo’s table. Lynn and one of Enzo’s friends had hit it off, so I had a feeling we would be hanging out at his table regardless of whether Enzo wanted it anyway.

  “Haven’t you ever heard that a personality changes how good looking a person is?”

  “I believe it. He’s jealous,” she added after a beat.

  “Of what?”

  “Doesn’t matter, but keep it going.”

  “How?”

  “Flirt.”

  “With?”

  She moved her eyebrows toward the two other friends sitting with us.

  “Those are his friends,” I whisper-cried.