Three Loving Words

by DC Renee

  “So?”

  She was right. So? Operation Make Enzo Jealous just got a new stepping-stone.

  Enzo’s overbearing demeanor ended up working in my favor. I flirted with his friends for about another hour. I got several pinches under the table and a few very hard looks, but it was worth it. It was after that hour that Enzo announced he was ready to head home.

  “You’re coming with me,” he announced.

  “My car is at Chandra’s.”

  “You’ll get it tomorrow.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know or care, but you’re coming with me. That’s the end of it.” The look he gave me had me realizing I wasn’t getting my way.

  I said my good-byes and we drove in silence all the way home. I saw his knuckles turn white several times as he clutched the steering wheel.

  The only words he spoke to me were when we finally got home. “You don’t ever disrespect me like that again, got it?”

  I didn’t respond, so he took a step closer. “Do. You. Understand?” He punctuated each word as its own sentence.

  “I didn’t do anything wrong. I just went out with my friends,” I whined.

  “You wanted to be my wife. You asked for it. So now, you have to live with it. You conduct yourself in a manner that is appropriate for a married woman.”

  “I didn’t ask for this!”

  “Yeah, well, it’s what you got. So deal.” He stormed away, getting the last word and leaving me a crying mess. I had never felt good enough for my parents or for my sister, but I never cried. It had steeled my spine, made me tougher, and made it easier to deal with things. And here I was crying all the time with Enzo. I had to stop letting him get to me. I just didn’t know how.

  *****

  The rest of the semester flew by much the same as my life. I’d like to say it was uneventful but living with Enzo was always a roller coaster. You just never knew if you were getting on one with a lot of loops and drops or a kiddie ride. I was able to get my grades up thanks to Luke. The first time Enzo saw Luke after the whole club incident was worth the entire night. I could tell Enzo had thought things were amiss between Luke and me from the things he had told me at the club, and when he saw Luke, he was none-too-pleased. If I hadn’t known better, I’d think that bothered him more than me “whoring” myself out at the club, as he so eloquently put it. Needless to say, I hadn’t gone back to that club or any club all semester. Enzo had ruined that experience for me, much as he damaged everything.

  He was still the same hateful Enzo toward Luke, which brought a huge smile to my face every time. Even if he wasn’t jealous, it still made me happy to know his mood was shot to hell, if only momentarily.

  His attitude toward me never wavered. He still made snide remarks when he could, shot me glances filled with disdain any chance he had, spoke my name as if we were conducting a business transaction, and ignored me almost as much as I ignored him. I continued to ignore him as often as I could, which was pretty much my only defense against him. We argued plenty, and I use that term mildly. It was more as if I did something that disturbed Enzo; he’d belittle me, yell, get in my face, and make me think he was going to do more than he did. He’d get visibly upset when I’d recoil, he’d storm away with the last word, and I’d go cry in my room. I was getting used to the routine.

  I hated him probably even more than he hated me, but I had rarely uttered that sentence whereas he never failed to deliver the three loving words time and time again. I knew living with Enzo was some sort of punishment for something I had done in another life, but I never figured out what.

  The day of my last final of my very first semester at college was a hair away from being yet another form of punishment for my past lives’ crimes. My car was old with many miles, but it had always been reliable. My parents never had a ton of money, but they found some when it was time to buy Nora a car. The used, or rather, the very used Honda Civic was what they got her. It had then been passed on to me when Nora left for school. She had taken good care of it, and I had tried my best as well. But it had one foot in car heaven at all times. And that day, it decided it was going to try out the car clouds.

  I guess I can’t blame it completely on my car. I had been cramming for my exam and ended up staying up later than I had hoped, which in turn had me waking up later than I wanted. I had rushed to make it to my final on time, and I had already been crunched for time when the car wouldn’t start.

  “No, no, no, don’t do this to me,” I screamed at my steering wheel. I pounded on it so hard I honked the horn. When that didn’t work, I talked to it as if it was a person, pleading with it to get me to school one last time and then I’d let go. Nothing. I got out of the car, raged at it, kicked the tires a bit, and stormed inside.

  I didn’t want to bother Luke, but I would if I had to. I looked at the time but realized he was in the middle of a final. I tried Chandra’s phone with no luck. I even dialed Lynn, but she didn’t pick up either.

  I didn’t have much money, but I was more than willing to fork over any cash I had to for a cab if they could get me there in time. Ever wonder why cab companies tell you to call in advance? It was because they apparently weren’t at your beck and call just waiting to pick you up. The cab would only be at my place in thirty to forty minutes, “depending on traffic.” I couldn’t wait that long. I was officially screwed.

  I felt the tears trailing down my cheeks way before my voice registered that it should be wailing along. I had put my head in my hands and wallowed in self-pity. All that hard work, all that time and effort, and all that thought of being independent and making something of myself down the drain. I berated myself for not thinking ahead, for getting myself into this mess, for just being me. I was pretty sure I had been mumbling all these things out loud when I heard the scrape of metal against the table. I looked up from my hands to see a familiar set of keys and hand next to my head. I trailed that hand to its owner. I felt resentment like I never had at that moment. Enzo was mocking me. He knew I had no way to get to school, he must have heard my phone calls and my musings, and he was using that to his evil advantage. I looked at him and how incredibly well put together he was, as always. I tried to envision the detestable glare, his reproachable sneer as he looked upon my red-glazed eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, and puffy face; I braced for the comments I knew he’d make about how this was my fault and that was what I got for trying to make it on my own. I saw none of that; I heard none of that. I saw pity in his eyes, and I heard the sincerity in his voice when he finally spoke.

  “I need the car at one, but that should be plenty of time for you to take your exam and make it back here.”

  “Wha-what?” I stuttered.

  “Just please have my car here back by one,” he responded with a bit of irritation at having to repeat himself.

  “Why … why are you helping me?”

  Enzo seemed to ponder this question. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand as he thought of an answer.

  “I honestly don’t know. But you had better head out if you’re going to make it. So I suggest you go and you can think about all this later.”

  I grabbed the keys from his hand, my fingers brushing his hand. It felt nice, but I didn’t have time to think about that other than it was probably related to being grateful.

  “Thank you,” I told him quietly as I rushed out the door.

  It had been the most surprising Enzo moment thus far. One of the only days I didn’t hate him. I didn’t hate him one bit. In fact, I kind of liked him at that moment.

  Even when I came home and he was back to his old self, “My car better not have a scratch on it,” leaving the ‘or else’ unspoken, it didn’t bother me. I even almost felt like maybe he had put on a hard façade to compensate for his flash of congeniality. I knew that was a pipe dream to think he was secretly a nice guy underneath it all, but that day, I lived in that fantasy. It was only the next day when I “put the cereal in the wrong place,” and got an earfu
l about it that I went back to hating Enzo. The funny part was that I hadn’t even touched the cereal. I had just been dancing and singing a song while cleaning the kitchen after making breakfast for myself when Enzo stomped in and raised hell. It was just another part of my life I was getting used to - hating my husband.

  Fourteen

  Enzo

  I’d never liked to see a woman cry. That was a bit hypocritical considering I had been the cause of many of Paige’s tears, but that was different. I didn’t have a valid reason as to why; it just was. I think all men had a predisposition to inwardly cringe and panic when they saw the first telltale sign of watery eyes. I couldn’t say I haven’t caused many tears to be shed, even before Paige, but I’d always found a way to walk away from the situation, leaving me unscathed and probably an asshole too. Hey, I never promised to be a good guy. And yes, I caused more than a few sobbing moments with Paige, but try as I might, I couldn’t be nice to her. Who was I kidding, I never tried to be nice to her. I did try to be civil, and that worked out pretty well most of the time. Maybe it worked out well about half the time; I spent the other half trying hard not to throw something across the room. Everything she did pissed me off. If she was happy, I was annoyed; if she was singing, I was squirming; if she was dancing, oh, don’t even get me started on what I was feeling then.

  I didn’t even know what troubled me more. Maybe the fact she could be happy no matter what I threw at her, and I knew I wasn’t a peach to live with. But that was what she signed up for, though, so tough. Maybe a small part of me was irritated with the fact she wasn’t that carefree, that cheerful, that happy-go-fucking-lucky with me, but then again, we weren’t friends, and I had never given her anything but grief. What did I expect?

  The ironic part was that I was a pretty relaxed guy, at least around my friends and the people I cared about; I was just something else around Paige. I couldn’t control myself around her. My temper seemed to rise higher than a thermometer could measure. I knew that if she had been a guy, she’d have gotten her ass handed to her on numerous occasions. The funny part was that, to an outsider, she didn’t deserve it. She probably even thought so, too. Yet she had forced this life on both of us. I didn’t have a choice, so it had come down to her, and she had agreed. I gave her one reason and one reason only to believe I’d lay a hand on her, and that hadn’t been my finest hour, but I had kept my promise since then. I didn’t touch her – not the way she wouldn’t want, at least. And I’d never hit a woman, no matter what. Yet she flinched every fucking time I was near her. I didn’t think she even realized she’d cower a bit from me even when we were nothing more than strangers passing each other in the hallway. Never, and I mean never, had a girl shied away from me. They flocked to me as if I was some decadent dessert they had been saving all their calories for. So naturally, I was more than a little ticked off whenever Paige would steer clear for that reason alone. It didn’t help that a very small part actually cared that she thought I was a monster based on a drunken mistake. I probably should have felt guilty, maybe even a little sad, but I just felt frustration mixed with anger.

  In any case, when I heard her bawling that day of her final, I was tempted to turn around and head back to my room. Even when I knew she had been crying because of something that happened between us, I tuned her out as any normal guy would. But this was different. I didn’t know how I could tell, but her crying seemed defeated. Whenever I’d heard the inkling of blubbering before, it was more like self-pity. As much as I hated it, I also admired Paige for her resilience and her don’t-give-up attitude, so curiosity won out.

  After I had learned exactly what had her feeling like that, I had to help her out. I knew how hard she worked to get where she was. I had never worked like that a day in my life, so you’d think I wouldn’t realize the value, but I wasn’t oblivious. I’d also like to think I was pretty smart. Actually, half the reason I didn’t do much work in school was because it bored me. I could have run circles around most of the teachers. I picked things up quickly and wanted the next lesson before anyone else. I learned early on that that wasn’t going to happen, so I stopped caring. The other half was because I didn’t need to work hard. I simply had to look around the extravagant house I didn’t pay for to know that. I had come very close to losing that, but that was now a moot point.

  I was also an asshole, but I was not that much of an asshole. Okay, yeah, I was. But something about the pain in Paige’s voice had me handing her the keys before I even realized what I was doing. It should have been that jackass boyfriend of hers helping her out, but a part of me liked that I was getting to play the hero. When she looked at me as if I was a god, it stirred something inside me, something I liked very much. And I couldn’t have that, so I went back to being a jerk the minute she walked back in the door after her exam. Things went back to our norm quickly after that. I even had the pleasure of running into my lovely wife with her boy toy and one of her friends from the club while eating lunch. That was an interesting day. Her friend’s eyes went wide when she saw me and then tapped Paige’s hand a moment before I pulled up a chair and made myself comfortable. Needless to say, Paige called me obnoxious and a few other choice words under her breath, her friend restrained Luke on several occasions from getting his ass kicked because Lord knew I’d beat him in a fight any day, and her friend had a very amused look on her face the entire time. It bothered me something fierce, like she was in on a secret I should have known about.

  I naturally went and found myself a companion that night.

  So things were pretty usual until about two months later. It had been early evening when I picked up my phone.

  “Hello, may I speak with Enzo Faust?” The very feminine voice on the other end had me second-guessing answering a number I didn’t know, but I knew none of the women I hooked up with would have been that formal.

  “This is he.”

  “Mr. Faust, my name is Monica and I’m a nurse at County Hospital.” Getting a call from a hospital or any medical related number was never a good thing. There were only three reasons they would call you – the first was that there was something wrong, the second was to remind you of an appointment, and the third was by mistake, and let’s face it, that never happened. And when they reminded you of an appointment, you anticipated that call. So when someone says they were a nurse from a hospital, the pit of your stomach drops, no matter what.

  “Your wife has been in a minor accident. She’s all right, but she has some slight contusions and a concussion. We can’t let her leave on her own,” she finished.

  Hearing her say something regarding my wife had my stomach not just dropping but falling through the ground and making its way to the Earth’s core. I hated her, she hated me, I had wished a thousand bad things on her a million times over, but I never actually meant them. Now, if half the things I wished on her boyfriend came true, I’d be doing a happy dance, but not with Paige. She was mine to protect even if I hadn’t necessarily wanted that job or had done my part in it this entire time, and heck, I’d probably continue to be the one she needed protection from, but at that moment, I felt like I had failed. It had been the first true time I’d felt that way. And then realization sank in. They had called me, not her friends, not her parents, not her boyfriend, me.

  “She asked for me?”

  “She’s in shock, sir. I pulled up your information from her insurance file. It listed you as her spouse.”

  “Of course.” I couldn’t help the tiny twinge of disappointment, and I didn’t even truly know why. I contemplated all the different scenarios that could play out. I could leave her stranded, I could find Luke, or I could be a human being and go get her. I’d already spent countless hours trying to tell you I was a shit guy, but I was not that bad. I went and got her.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked the minute she saw me and then winced from obvious discomfort.

  “Looks like I’m your knight in shining armor today, Paige.”

  “I didn�
�t call you. I was about to call Luke.”

  I clenched my fists just hearing his name. “I’m your husband, so they called me. Might want to remember that,” I added as some kind of warning but wasn’t sure what I was warning her of.

  “Why are you here?” she asked again.

  “They told me to come get you.”

  “And you just dropped everything and came?” she asked suspiciously, her eyes searching behind me as if I was hiding something.

  “Of course not.” I chuckled falsely. “I finished what I was doing first. Took my sweet time getting here.”

  “Thanks for coming,” she muttered, “but I’ll call a friend or something.”

  “And prevent me from basking in this? Never.”

  “What in the hell does that mean?” she hissed.

  “It means you are at my mercy. You need me to take care of you, and it feels pretty damn good knowing you have to rely on me. I’ll be putting this in your face for years to come.”

  “I don’t need you!” she whisper-screamed.

  “Tell that to the doctors.”

  “I’m calling Luke,” she announced.

  “Uh, uh, uh,” I practically sang and plucked the phone from her hand. “Sorry, no phones allowed in here,” I replied smugly.

  “Fine, I’ll call him when we get home.”

  “Oh, shut it, Paige. I’m going to fucking take care of you, you’re going to appreciate it, I’m going to torment you about why you got here in the first place, and then I’ll get to hang this over your head for the foreseeable future. It’s a win-win situation.”

  “How in the hell is that a win-win for me?”

  “Because you get to spend all day and night with me.”

  “Oh, so it’s a lose-lose for me?” she mocked.

  “You want to get out of this hospital or not?”

  “With you? I’ll take not.”

  “Suck it up, little girl. I’m getting my way and you’re coming with me.”

  It took another ten minutes of her whining and me towering over her to get her to agree. The doctor signed her out and I drove her home. I was instructed to wake her up every two hours. By the time we made it home, she had fallen asleep in the car. I loved when she slept, so I hated waking her, but I had to. I shook her gently.