Dare to Stay (Puppy Love Romances Book 3)

by Georgia Beers

  “Austin…Texas?” Jessica tamped down her uneasiness and put the photo back. She moved to the counter across from Sydney, watched her dish out the pizza, which looked so delicious her mouth watered, despite the sudden sourness of her stomach.

  “Is there another Austin?” Sydney asked with a laugh. “You want beer or wine?”

  “I think a cold beer sounds terrific.” Jessica forced herself to shake off whatever weirdness had enveloped her and focus on the moment. They’d had a great day. Things couldn’t have gone better. Stop looking for things to stress about.

  “You got it.” Sydney turned to the fridge, pulled out two bottles, and popped off the caps. She handed one to Jessica, then held up the other. “I’d like to propose a toast.”

  “Irish,” Jessica said in a mock-scoff.

  Sydney chuckled, but then her expression became serious. She looked Jessica in the eye. “To an amazing job today. You were…so impressive. You did great.”

  “Right back atcha,” Jessica said. “Did you see the final number?”

  “I did.”

  “It’s never been that high.”

  “No?”

  “No. It’s never even been close to that high.”

  “Well, then, here’s to a job well done.” They touched the tops of their bottles together and Sydney continued to hold her gaze as they sipped.

  “I owe you an apology,” Jessica said, surprised when the words slipped out before she had a chance to screen them.

  “You do?” Sydney took a bite of her pizza.

  “Yes. I’m really sorry I was difficult.”

  Sydney watched her, squinted at her a bit. “Difficult? You?”

  Jessica grinned. “Ha ha. Yes, I was. You know it and I know it. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. All the changes you made, the alterations, they worked. You were right. I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you from the beginning.”

  “That’s not how Janet did it,” Sydney said in a high-pitched tone, causing Jessica to burst out laughing.

  “I know. I know. That’s what I mean.” She chewed her bite of pizza, swallowed, and studied Sydney for a beat. Her silky hair. Her creamy skin. Those ocean-colored blue-green eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’re forgiven.”

  They ate in silence, Jessica looking around the apartment from where she stood. Her eyes landed on the humming tank at the end of the couch, its blue light casting an eerie glow on the bare wall. “Oh, hello there, fishies.”

  Sydney chuckled. “That’s Marge and Homer.”

  “Ah, a Simpsons fan, are you?”

  “Used to be. Watched it all the time in college. Laura and I still quote it sometimes.”

  Without taking her eyes from the tank, Jessica asked, “Is she your ex?”

  Sydney choked on the swig of beer she’d taken. “Laura? No! God, no. And she would find that absolutely hysterical.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she could never be in a relationship with me. She’d kill me. We both know it and we’ve laughed about it more than once.” She popped the last bite of crust into her mouth and said around it, “Also, she’s straight.”

  “Ah, well, that does pose a problem. Though not always.” Jessica winked.

  Sydney feigned a gasp. “Why, Ms. Barstow. Are you telling me you’ve bedded a straight girl?”

  “They’re all straight until they’re not,” Jessica said with a lewd wag of her eyebrows. Then she shook her head. “I’m just kidding. And no. I never have. I’m pretty certain both my girlfriends were gay. Well, one was gay. One was bi.”

  “Just two?” Sydney tried to hide her surprise, but was unsuccessful because Jessica saw it immediately.

  “Just two. One at college and one a couple years ago. Neither lasted terribly long.”

  “How come?”

  “Well, let’s see.” Jessica sipped her beer and squinted at the ceiling. “The first one, we were in college. That’s always dicey anyway. Close quarters. Pressure. We were both dealing with our newfound sexuality and neither of us was doing it well. By the end of our junior year, we did nothing but fight, so we called it quits. It was mutual. We’re still friends. We chat on Facebook every so often. I keep track of her life through that.”

  Sydney didn’t comment, just watched her intently.

  “The second one…” Jessica grimaced, took a sip of beer, and studied the label while wondering how truthful she should be. But when she looked up at Sydney, she saw nothing but openness and safety in those eyes and decided to tell the truth. “She wanted me to choose.”

  “Between?”

  “The shelter and her.”

  “No.” Sydney looked shocked, and for that, Jessica was grateful.

  “I’m afraid so. Now, in her defense, I was there all the time. Not unlike I am now.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “She said I worked too much, that I didn’t have enough time for her. That was her argument.”

  “So she threw down an ultimatum?”

  “She did.”

  “Wow. That’s cold.”

  “Well…” Jessica held out her flat hand, tilted it one way, then the other. “Yes and no. I did work too much. I didn’t make time for her. The ultimatum was harsh, but it was the only way she could figure to find out where my priorities were.”

  “And the shelter came first.”

  “Yeah.” She swallowed the last of her beer. “I wasn’t happy about it. Don’t get me wrong. But my grandmother had just died and I was buried in learning the ins and outs of being in charge, not to mention drowning in my own grief that I kept tamped down so I could continue working and not miss a beat. She went home to Boston and I went into therapy. In hindsight, the best moves for both of us.”

  Sydney got two more beers out of the fridge, popped the caps, then came around the counter to stand next to Jessica rather than across from her. She held her bottle up. “To therapy.”

  “You’ve been?” Jessica asked as they touched glass.

  “Oh, God, yes. Hasn’t everybody?”

  “In a perfect world maybe. I went for a couple years, until I started to feel not insane anymore.” She sipped. “I still go back every few months for a ‘mental health tune-up.’” She made air quotes.

  “I think that’s smart.” Sydney was quiet for a moment before saying, “You know, I realized something today during the telethon and it was even more obvious when you met Dr. Green next door.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You’re kind of a local celebrity. A lot of people know who you are when they see you.”

  Jessica gave a nod. “That’s true. Anna has been trying for years to get me to be ‘the face of Junebug’ and I initially resisted. But she’s slowly made it happen.”

  “Was that hard for you and your last girlfriend?”

  Jessica thought about it, took a bite of pizza and pondered as she chewed, as it wasn’t something she’d ever really considered before. “Well, I don’t know that it was hard for her, but I can tell you it was hard for me for a while.”

  “Yeah? How come?”

  “Because I didn’t want to stay here. I was going to New York, remember?”

  “Oh, that’s right. I’d forgotten about that.”

  “But the more known I became, the more people associated me with the shelter, the less comfortable I became with leaving. And then after a while, I didn’t want to leave.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I belong here.” Jessica smiled widely, remembering the day she came to that realization. “It was a day just like any other day. A Wednesday, I think. And it had been crazy. Abuse cases were brought in. Three dogs from a dogfighting ring, two of which had to be put down. There weren’t enough volunteers working. It was a disaster of a day all around. I was exhausted. And it was, like, nine at night and I collapsed in my chair in my office and just sobbed. Cried like a baby. I was so beat up and felt like I’d been running in place all day, running as fast as I could and getting absolutely nowhere. I was so sure
I was failing everybody around me, every animal, and the memory of my grandma. So I moved to put my elbows on my desk so I could hold my head and cry some more and there was a pile of mail that Regina had opened and stacked there for me. And on top was a letter from Maddie, that little girl you interviewed. There was a picture of her and Rex and her letter just gushed about how happy she was and how she and Rex were helping each other learn to get along with their disabilities and she must have said thank you six or seven times throughout and…” Jessica looked up at the ceiling, felt her eyes well up a bit at the memory. “That was it. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. The tears dried up. The doubt just…left. I…I knew.”

  When she looked over, Sydney seemed to be awed, enamored. “That is an amazing story,” she said quietly.

  “It was a big moment for me. I’ll never forget it. And I flash back to it on bad days. So, being known for the shelter wasn’t as hard on me as it was on my then-girlfriend, because she lost.” A beat passed while they sat with that. Then Jessica shifted to lean on the counter. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “Past relationships? Besides Anna, I mean.”

  “You’re hilarious. Yeah, the only reason I’m not doing anything about the scratch on my car is because I kind of deserved it.” Sydney took a bite of pizza. Chewed. “And also, I can’t prove it was her.”

  “Oh, it was her.”

  “You think?”

  Jessica nodded. “It’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do. I’m surprised she hasn’t keyed mine.”

  “Yet.”

  Jessica snorted.

  “Not surprisingly, I have had very few long-term relationships.”

  “You are only thirty, so no, it’s not surprising.”

  “The longest was Claire. We met at my first job out of college, not far from my hometown in Pennsylvania. She was still in college and working as a production assistant part-time at the same station where I’d been hired to write news.”

  “And how long did that last?”

  “Until she graduated and got a job offer in Florida.” Jessica watched Sydney’s face and was sure she detected a quick flash of pain zip across. “She wanted me to go with her, but I had my own plans. A reporting position in a bigger city. It was only a matter of time. So she went without me. And that was the end of that.” It was obvious she was trying to keep it light with her half-shrug and unaffected tone, but Jessica wasn’t buying it.

  “So…she kind of gave you an ultimatum as well.” At Sydney’s furrowed brow, she elaborated. “My career or yours. She said come with me or wait here until you get what you want. That’s essentially my career or yours, isn’t it?”

  Sydney seemed to ponder that for a moment before responding. “You know what? You’re right.”

  “It happens.”

  “I bet it happens a lot.”

  “Well…” Jessica shrugged and feigned modesty.

  Sydney laughed and when their eyes met this time, their gazes didn’t waver and Jessica held her breath. She’d vowed on the way over that she wasn’t making any moves this time, that the ball was firmly in Sydney’s court. So she waited, and the wait paid off as Sydney leaned forward and kissed her. Softly and tenderly, like they hadn’t a care in the world.

  When Sydney pulled back, Jessica stayed still for a beat, licked her lips, then opened her eyes. So many questions careened through her brain, so many words, so many thoughts. What are we going to do about this? Are we just a fling? Are we just having fun? Is there something more here? Does it mean anything to you? Does it mean anything to me? She just needed to give voice to one and the rest would come pouring out. She knew this about herself. If she could just ask one question, put one of them out there, she’d be able to stop this feeling of…of what? What the hell was it that Sydney made her feel? Crazy? Uncertain? Confused? Beautiful? Sexy? Ridiculously turned on?

  Yes! Yes, all of those things! Every one of them. Yes!

  And before she realized she was going to do it, she grabbed Sydney’s face with both hands and kissed her for all she was worth.

  It was the only way to stop the questions.

  Because if Jessica were going to be honest—with herself or with anybody else—she’d have to admit that she really didn’t want any of the answers. Not today. Not now. Right now, she wanted to lose herself. In Sydney’s kiss, in Sydney’s body, in Sydney.

  Any surprise Sydney might have had by Jessica’s move seemed to disappear quickly because in a matter of seconds, she was kissing Jessica back. Enthusiastically. And even as Jessica’s inner voice kept shouting warnings at her, she continued to push herself as close to Sydney as she could get, to pull Sydney against her. Nothing existed but Sydney’s mouth, the warmth of her body, her arms that had moved around Jessica, her hands splayed across Jessica’s back. She could feel every single part of Sydney that touched her as if she left a shadow of heat in each spot.

  They were moving now. They’d gotten halfway across the living room before Jessica had even realized it, and soon they were in Sydney’s bedroom. And everything seemed to speed up. Clothes were suddenly gone, and they were under the covers before Jessica knew it, hands roaming, mouths searching. She’d never become so completely lost in somebody physically before. But being with Sydney…it was bliss. Heaven. Perfect.

  They battled for the upper hand and it was playful, then serious, then playful again. It’s one of the things that makes us so good together in bed. That thought zipped through Jessica’s head just before Sydney’s mouth caused her first orgasm to obliterate all conscious thought. As she lay there in the aftermath, getting her breathing under control, trying to relax her tensed muscles, the rest of the thought appeared in her head: But what about places other than bed? Are we good together then?

  Jessica waited only long enough to let the words sink in before she growled and spun a surprised Sydney onto her back, preferring to lose herself in the glorious body underneath her rather than deal with the simple question her subconscious was asking.

  She knew exactly what she was doing as she took a nipple into her mouth and sucked hard enough to make Sydney hiss. She’d never considered herself a person of avoidance, but yeah, avoiding was totally what she was doing. And in the moment, she didn’t give a crap. She knew the questions wouldn’t go away, but pushing her fingers into Sydney’s body certainly did take her focus from them. She gave her head one hard shake and concentrated on the sensual, sexy form underneath her, on the sounds she could pull from Sydney’s throat, on the way Sydney’s fingers ran up and down her back, then dug in when she arched her back and came, Jessica’s name floating into the air on a moan.

  But Jessica didn’t stop there. She couldn’t. She moved lower, took Sydney into her mouth, started off with gentle movements that gradually became firmer, more demanding, until Sydney’s fingers dug into Jessica’s hair, tugged it as a second orgasm hit, and Jessica basked in the sounds Sydney made, basked in the knowledge that only a few people on earth ever got to hear them.

  Then the only sound in the room was the two of them breathing raggedly. Jessica’s forehead rested against Sydney’s stomach, her fingers still inside, Sydney’s warmth holding them there for a few beats longer as the contractions subsided and Jessica gently slid them out. Letting herself shift up, Jessica tucked her head under Sydney’s chin, kept one leg draped over Sydney’s thigh, and settled against her. She drew lazy circles along her collarbone with a finger.

  “Wow,” Sydney whispered after some time had passed and she was no longer gasping for breath. “You were…assertive.”

  Jessica could hear the smile in her voice. “Yeah, that happens sometimes.”

  “It was awesome.”

  “I’m glad.” She felt Sydney move her head in an attempt to see Jessica’s face, but the angle was impossible.

  “Hey. You okay?”

  “Mm hmm.”

  “Well, that was convincing.” Sydney was trying to keep it light. Jessica could he
ar it in her voice, feel it in the gently movement of her fingertips against her shoulder.

  She doesn’t want to deal with things any more than I do. And something about that understanding made Jessica suddenly sad. “Oh, no. It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s good.” She waited, counting exactly five seconds before she shifted herself to a sitting position and then got out of the bed. “I’m going to head home.”

  “What?” Sydney’s surprise was clear and Jessica heard her sit up, even though she didn’t allow herself to look as she searched for her clothes and got herself dressed. “Why?”

  “Because that’s how this works, isn’t it?”

  Sydney flinched slightly, but she got it, understood completely what was being said; Jessica could see it on her face.

  “This.” Jessica made an all-encompassing gesture between the two of them. “Us. This is what we do. We talk. We have great sex. One of us goes home.” She could almost hear the wheels turning in Sydney’s head as she tried to come up with the right reply. Jessica wanted to stop, to take a breath, but once she’d started, she couldn’t seem to find the brakes. “Besides, you’ve got to talk to Austin, right? Get things set up down there? You don’t need me distracting you from what you really want.”

  “I have no idea. I haven’t really…” Sydney’s voice trailed off, as if she’d just forgotten how to speak. Jessica could feel her eyes on her as she pulled on her shirt, her jeans, grabbed her shoes.

  Jessica knew she was being cold. She couldn’t care, though, because she had to get out of there. If she didn’t, she was going to fall for Sydney and fall hard—it wasn’t lost on her that she may have already done so—and Sydney was only going to leave. She’d made that clear. How many times had she expressly said she wasn’t staying? And Jessica didn’t think she could take it if they started something serious and then Sydney left. It would hurt way too much.

  “I’ll see you around, okay?” With the lamest wave known to man, she fled Sydney’s bedroom, her apartment, her building. She was able to hold the tears in until she reached the street and then she silently cried her way home.