Make Me Whole

by Marguerite Labbe

  “Yeah, I think he’s pretty special.” Galen smiled and squeezed his hand. “I’m at his museum right now, and we’re in the middle of shutting it down for the night. Then we’re grabbing something to eat.”

  “You do not know how happy that makes me.” His dad hesitated. “I’ll let you get back to him, but you’ll call again right?” Doubt crept into his dad’s voice. “I want to hear all about him and you. You’ll call?”

  Guilt made him want to squirm in shame. He really had let it get this bad. “Yeah, I’ll call you this week. I promise.”

  Nick hung up the phone and stared at it for a long minute, trying to work through all the complex emotions and thoughts that crowded his brain. On the one hand, he wished his dad had let him tell him about the statues, but to know that he’d been so wrong about his dad’s feelings over him being gay… that lifted the worst of the weight.

  “Could have gone better?” Galen asked, leaning into him.

  “Actually no, I think it could’ve gone a lot worse.” Nick looked over at him as a hope that he hadn’t dared to believe in surged to the surface. “I think maybe things might be okay.”

  Galen smiled and kissed him. “That’s what I was wishing for, for you.”

  Nick twisted toward Galen and cupped the side of his neck. “You feel okay? Lykon didn’t screw you up, make you dizzy?”

  “I don’t think we have to worry about him for a while. You scared him pretty good.” Galen kissed him again and smiled against his lips. “Come on, I think we’ve both earned a drink.”

  “CLOSE your eyes,” Galen insisted to Suzane as they stopped just before the new exhibit.

  “Please tell me you didn’t find some more mysterious statues while I was gone,” Suzane said as she closed her eyes and extended her hand for Galen to guide her. “We’re well into April, and the opening is only two months off. If you add anything new it’s going to make the whole exhibit seem cluttered.”

  “Nope, nothing like that.”

  “And nothing else weird has happened? You can tell me. I prepared myself.”

  “I’ve gotten used to the weird,” Galen said with a chuckle. “And nothing else has happened to freak me out. We’re good, I swear.”

  Galen steadied her as he led her toward the first part of Ella’s finished mural. It stretched from the entrance down the entire length of the next wall on either side, the colors vibrant, the scenes flowing from one to the next against a mountainous background. Ella had outdone herself. The robed women showed sisterhood and intimacy in the clasp of hands, a head bent toward another with smiles as secrets were shared. It wasn’t as blatantly erotic as some of the other pieces in the room, but there was a cupped breast there, a flash of thigh in another place. It was simply beautiful.

  “Okay, ready? You’re going to swoon.”

  “Get on with it, you. I’m not getting any younger.” The comment struck Galen with a bittersweet blow. The last chemo treatment had laid her low for days. And he’d missed her fiercely while she’d been gone with her sister. At least the time off had done her some good. Her color was back, and her attitude was all there.

  “You’re still my lady of the spring,” Galen teased, moving to the side so he could see her face. “You can look now.”

  Suzane’s eyes popped open and delight suffused her face. “Oh, it’s perfect. So much more than I imagined.” She moved closer, studying all the little details, and then slowly walked down the length of the wall and back. “You could stare at this for hours and keep finding something new to look at. Where’s Ella? I have to congratulate her.”

  “She and her girlfriend took off for parts unknown for a bit. You know how Ella is. Besides, she put in weeks of work. She needs to recharge.”

  “She’ll be back for the opening, won’t she?” Suzane cast him a look of appeal. “You can’t let her duck out. She deserves every bit of the praise she’s going to get.”

  “Ella assured me that she and Nicole will be here,” Galen replied with a smile. Ella had balked at the idea of attending the opening until Galen reminded her she was more than welcome to bring Nicole.

  “I can’t wait.” Suzane turned around, taking in the room that was coming together piece by piece. By the look in her eye, Galen knew she was picturing how it would look the night of the reception, and he had to grin. If there was anyone more excited than he was about the opening, it was Suzane. “So who are you bringing?” Suzane said with a sly smile. “Don’t count on me being your date. My son finagled that invite. And I swear if you say you’re going alone, I’ll kick you.”

  “As a matter of fact, I do have a date,” Galen said, then lifted an eyebrow as Suzane’s expression turned to surprise. “What? You didn’t expect that, did you?”

  “I knew it!” Suzane tapped him on the arm with her fist. “Knox told me that you actually left on time almost every night while I was gone and that a guy was hanging around, though he didn’t say who. You haven’t done that in months. I look forward to meeting whoever has dragged you out of your self-imposed isolation.” She paused and narrowed her eyes at him. “It’s Nick, isn’t it?”

  Galen grinned and polished his nails on his shirt, delighted by the way she started tapping her foot. He’d really missed her. “Maybe.”

  “Ugh, you’re impossible.” She threw up her hands and headed for the door. “I’m sparing you the indignity of me digging for details. I have a ton of e-mails and paperwork to catch up on.”

  “You do that, and I’ll go see if Heather needs anything up front before I get started on my own work. It’s about time we opened our doors for the day. Hey, Suzane,” he called as she reached the entranceway, striding briskly in her impossible heels. “It’s damn good to have you back.”

  Suzane laughed, the sound rich and warm despite the lingering circles under her eyes. “Darling, I’m too ornery to go anywhere.”

  Galen smiled and waited until the sound of her heels faded before he turned toward the second unfinished statue of Dexios. There were times, like now, when he could almost see a mirage of Lykon kneeling before him, still clad in his armor, leaning to take Dexios’s cock in his mouth.

  The echo of Lykon stirred inside of him, but at least this time he didn’t struggle to come out. Not since Nick had made his threat. Almost a month had passed, and nothing had changed, except for those momentary glimpses of what the statue could be like if it was whole.

  Well, nothing had changed with the statues anyway. He’d had weeks of nightly evenings with Nick, really getting to know him this time instead of being afraid to look past the surface, weekends filled with him. And if Galen was afraid he was falling when he left Nick all those months ago, that was nothing compared to how he felt now. Nick made him believe in second chances. He made Galen feel like he wasn’t so broken anymore.

  Nick had loved him once, maybe did again, and Galen still couldn’t say what he felt for Nick in return. The words caught on his tongue, froze his throat. And maybe the remaining hesitance was why neither one of them had pushed that hard for sex. Galen wanted him without a doubt. There were nights when he left Nick’s place, or when he walked Nick to the door of the apartment, where the sexual tension had him about to come out of his skin. He needed to get over this last hurdle, this fear of losing someone else he loved. It wasn’t fair to Nick.

  Galen needed to tell Nick about the night that Bryan died. He deserved to know why Galen had been in such a bad place for so long. Because apparently, the fear of loss still had a hard hold of him. He’d talk to him tonight. Galen smiled and touched Dexios’s elbow. Maybe the conversation would help them both. He wanted to unburden himself to someone he trusted and to show Nick he could open up to him the way he wanted. The statue in front of him shimmered, and the image of Lykon became a little sharper, a little stronger.

  “Galen! Galen!”

  Galen was startled out of his reverie by Heather’s frantic voice, and the mirage in front of him faded away. He bolted for the hallway and caught Heather’s sho
ulders just before she barreled into him. “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s Suzane. She collapsed.” Heather’s blue eyes were wide with panic, and all the color had left her face. “She’s unconscious. What do we do?”

  A chill seized Galen’s heart. “She just left me and she was fine. What the hell happened? Where is she?” He took off down the hallway with Heather right behind him.

  “I stopped by her office to welcome her back, and she was on the floor. There’s blood. What do we do?”

  “Is she breathing? Did you call 911?” Galen yanked out his phone as Heather stammered behind him, fumbling for an answer.

  “I’m sorry; I didn’t know what to do. I can’t handle dead people. I go all to pieces when someone’s hurt. And blood… I can’t do it, I just can’t.”

  Galen spun on her and stopped her babbling with a stern look as fury and terror seized hold of him. She’d left Suzane on the floor and didn’t call an ambulance. She was just a scared part-time college student who’d gone for the first help she’d thought of. “Calm down, take a deep breath. Now, go around the back to meet the ambulance. You’re going to have to direct them to her office.”

  He didn’t wait for her answer and continued on. The 911 operator answered the phone as he reached her office. To his profound relief, Suzane was pushing herself up to a sitting position, her wig askew and dark curls straggling in her face. Oh thank God. He steadied himself with his hand on the rail before moving toward her.

  Galen dropped to his knees to steady her and winced at the sight of a lump on her brow and the blood that oozed from the cut there. “Hey, take it easy. Don’t try to get up. I think you whacked your hard head pretty good.” He answered the 911 operator’s questions and hung up after she said help was on the way.

  “I don’t need a damn ambulance,” Suzane muttered, attempting to straighten her hair. “I’m fine, got a little dizzy. See, all better now.”

  “That’s too bad,” Galen replied, taking in her slightly unfocused look and the icy chill in her hands, “’cause they’re already on their way. Looks like you might have a concussion.”

  Suzane groaned and pushed him, but it lacked her usual strength. “Call them back and cancel it.”

  “Nope. And you’re going with them too, if they recommend it, or else I’ll call your son,” Galen said with false cheer, trying to hide how worried he was. Was it just a dizzy spell or was it something worse?

  “You wouldn’t.” In the distance he heard the ambulance, and it brought back memories he’d rather forget, waiting for another ambulance, holding someone else he loved in his arms. This time it would end much differently.

  “Try me, sunshine. Just try me.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  GALEN sat in the waiting room, his elbows on his knees, his head down and hands clasped over the back of his neck. The doctors wouldn’t tell him a damn thing, and they wouldn’t let him back to see Suzane either. He would have to wait until Clint, Suzane’s son, arrived before he would get an update. The only thing he did know was that she hadn’t been admitted yet, and he could only hope that was a good sign.

  He had come in with her, shouldn’t that count? It didn’t, he knew that, no more than it had counted when he’d wanted to sit with Bryan until his family got there. Galen squeezed his eyes tight against the memory. This wasn’t the same. Suzane had knocked her head. The worst-case scenario would be that she had a concussion. They’d patch her up, maybe observe her overnight. They might have to keep an eye out for more dizzy spells. That was it. She would be going home.

  There was no chance of her being dead in there while Galen waited out here on the vain hope of a miracle. Telling himself that didn’t help any more than telling himself that the dizzy spell was a random incident and it had nothing to do with her cancer. What if… so many what-ifs crowded his mind, and his thoughts bounced from one to another. He couldn’t do this again. He would go out of his skin if he waited here any longer.

  He wanted to call Nick again. He knew that if he could get a hold of him, from whatever meeting Nick was in, he wouldn’t be waiting alone. Nick would drop what he was doing and come right over. Galen straightened and picked up a magazine to leaf through. He stared at the pages with unseeing eyes, unable to stop thinking about how Nick would be there for him.

  That was the problem. Galen wished he knew if he could give Nick the same commitment in return. He wanted to, but he didn’t know if he could open himself up to being that vulnerable again. Not after being slapped in the face with another hospital scare. Fear had grabbed a hold of his guts and was hanging on tight. If something happened to Nick… he didn’t know what he’d do.

  That same sick fear also told him it was too late to save himself possible future heartache. Galen was too invested in Nick now. So, he’d better do something and do something quick to stop this freak-out he was having.

  He tensed as he sensed Lykon stir, but for once there wasn’t the least bit of a fight for possession. The last time Lykon had struck so fast he’d barely had time to register the attack before he took control. Galen supposed the man must’ve taken Nick’s threat as a serious promise.

  Good. Just because he sometimes liked to surrender control to someone he trusted didn’t mean he wanted someone else to come along and yank it from him.

  He jerked his head up as the door opened, then deflated when the doctor who came in moved toward a waiting couple. He tried Suzane’s son’s phone again and still no answer. Poor kid. He was going to freak when he got the message. He tried Nick again, both his work and his cell phone, only to have both go straight to voice mail. Galen hung up without leaving a message and shoved his hands in his pockets. He could sense Lykon even stronger now and knew even without the struggle that the man was dying to emerge, but he didn’t.

  This time when the door opened, Galen didn’t move. He continued to stare at the magazine, his brain still caught in the same looping thoughts of wishing Nick were there, all mixed in with worry over Suzane and attempts to think more positively before he had a meltdown. Someone sat down next to him, and Galen was enveloped by the scent of a very familiar perfume.

  Galen’s eyes stung as he looked over at his mom. She’d always had a knack for showing up whenever one of her kids needed her the most. He didn’t know what instinct led her, but it was dead on. And now she was here with her too curly, graying hair pulled back into a messy bun, with her faded T-shirt, worn sweatpants, and enormous purse stuffed to the point of not being able to snap shut. She must have come straight from the gym, determined to lose the last twenty pounds that she’d been trying to lose for as long as he could remember. He kind of hoped it never happened.

  “I picked up Suzane’s son from his class, and he’s talking with the head nurse now,” Anna Kanellis said without preamble and pulled out a tin of mints from her purse. She popped two in her mouth and offered him the tin.

  “How’d you know I was here?” Galen asked and took a mint for himself.

  “I called the museum looking for you, and Heather told me what happened. I got a hold of your sister, and she’s going over to help.” She fixed him with a stern look over the rim of her glasses. “You take on too much. You need to stop and ask for help sometimes. It really won’t hurt your pride, I swear. Maybe sting it, but you’re a big boy, you can take it.”

  Galen scrubbed a hand over his face. Oh God. Heather. He hadn’t even thought about her running the place by herself, especially after the scare she had. He was an idiot. “Thanks, Mom.” He’d have to call and give her an update as soon as he had one.

  “You know I don’t mind.” She patted his hand. “How are you holding up?”

  Galen shrugged and tried not to think about all the reasons for that question. He did not want to remember, even if they kept intruding anyway. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “That doesn’t say much. You wouldn’t not be here until you had answers, especially with Suzane being alone. You’d stay, no matter how much it hurt you. Now,
tell me again, how are you?”

  “Honestly? I’m a mess.” He was sitting there contemplating running again from the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. He could lose Nick. The way he lost Bryan, the way he lost his dad… maybe even Suzane if the treatments stopped working. The thought made him want to shudder. Walking away meant losing him for sure. Nick wouldn’t give him a third chance, and he couldn’t blame him. Walking away meant that he would hurt Nick more than he already had. So, it wasn’t an option.

  His mom slid her arm through his. “And you’re blaming yourself too, no doubt.” Galen shifted in his chair. She knew him so well. “You’re nobody’s keeper but your own. So stop assuming responsibility for others. They won’t thank you for it.”

  Easier said than done, even if she was right. “So why’d you call the museum and not my cell?” Galen asked. She must’ve called the main line and not his office number if she got Heather. “What are you up to?”

  “I am up to nothing. You’re implying that what I’m doing is wrong.”

  Galen patted her hand on his arm. “Not wrong. Underhanded, maybe. Sneaky, definitely. But not wrong.”

  “You’re letting your imagination run away with you.” His mom scraped the escaped curls back from her face and retied her bun. “I wanted to invite you to Sunday dinner. You haven’t been in a long time. And since I knew the excuse you were going to give me, I planned on nipping it in the bud before you tried.”

  “Meaning you were going to harass poor Heather or Knox or someone else into covering for me on one of our busier days.”

  “I’m not even asking for a whole day. I think you can get off early one Sunday every couple of months.” It would be better if she at least looked exasperated about it; instead, the expression of insistent reason made him squirm now almost as much as it had when he was younger. Well, it was only a matter of time before she renewed her pledge to see that he was doing more than working all day, every day.