Ethan's Song

by Jan Carol

  Hesitating, Jenà complied. Her fingers dug into the covers at her hips, getting prepared to hear the worst.

  "H-m-m-m," the man gave her the doctor sound when he finished looking. "I think a little penicillin is needed. Does it bother you at all?" She shook her head, a bit of a frown on her forehead. "Think you could swallow pills, or would you rather an injection?"

  Her eyes grew wide. "Pills." She still whispered in her gravely way.

  "Ethan tells me you’re allergic to lemons, or citric fruits." She nodded, because it really was true, though she usually watched what she ate, and never had a reaction quite as bad as she was letting on. "I’ll have to go to my room to get the medication." He stood, looking over at Ethan. "She’ll be all right." The younger man seemed to relax at the doctor’s words.

  "It’ll be better in the morning, I’m sure." Jenà assured them both. "It always is."

  "I don’t know about that." The doctor turned back to her. "It could take several days to a week to clear that mess up."

  Her expression changed. Why would he play up her condition, knowing there wasn’t one? What did he have to gain from it? Did he know something about Ethan’s anger that would cause him to shield her from him?

  "I suggest you remain quiet until I tell you otherwise." The doctor warned her with seriousness. "We wouldn’t want that voice permanently damaged, would we?"

  "No," she whispered hoarsely, getting a look from Ethan that told her to listen to the doctor.

  "I think he meant to quit trying to talk." He walked out of the room with the older man. "I appreciate your time, John. I’m sorry to have dragged you away from your wife." His voice was getting harder to hear. "I’ll bring the pills back..." The outer door shut quietly as they both left.

  Jumping from her bed, she went into the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. Closing the door, in case Ethan knew she was faking and was waiting to catch her, she locked it. Opening her mouth as wide as she could, she was surprised to see that her throat was spotted with white dots. The next thing that she wanted to know was if she could talk. "This can’t be." Her voice wouldn’t go much over the hoarse whisper that she had been using on purpose. Opening the door, she was walking back to her bed. "I can’t believe this."

  "I thought you were told not to use your voice." Ethan was walking into her room. "What are you doing up?"

  "He didn’t say I was confined to my bed." She argued back. "I had to go to the bathroom." She didn’t tell him why, so didn’t feel she was telling him another fib.

  "Am I going to have to stuff your mouth to keep it shut?" He was beside her at the foot of her bed.

  "No." She couldn’t help talking. She did it all the time.

  "In bed. Right now." Ethan ordered, going into the bathroom to fill a glass with water. "I don’t want to hear another peep out of you, do you understand?"

  Silence filled the room. Sitting on the bed, she picked up the discarded book, opening it to the first page, planning to start it from the beginning again. Maybe she could concentrate on the words now, since she wouldn’t be able to do anything else. If Ethan had his way, she was thinking, she’d be kept in bed until the doctor said she was fine. The thing that was worrying her the most was whether or not she would be allowed to be alone.

  Ethan came back in her room, carrying a small package and the glass of water. "What do you think you’re doing? I said in bed, didn’t I?" He handed her the glass, taking a pill from the envelope. "After you swallow that, I want you in your nightgown, or whatever it is you wear, and I want you in those covers." Watching her swallow the pill, he took the glass, getting a defiant look from her. "I mean it, Jenà. Do I have to undress you?"

  "You’re always threatening me. Get out of here so I can..." Her words stopped at the look on his face. "I know, shut up." She felt a little relief, knowing that her lie had come to be the truth. It was eerie, though. "What..." She had turned to ask him what she had eaten earlier, but remembered she wasn’t supposed to ask anything. With a deep sigh, her shoulders sagged as she walked to her dresser, pulling out one of the short gowns she owned. Right about now, she wished she owned one of the long, flannel type, seeing that Ethan wasn’t going to leave.

  "If you must say something, perhaps I can get you some paper and a pencil." He talked through the bathroom door. "I’ll be back in a few minutes. You’ll be all right?"

  She opened the door a crack, giving him a disgusted look. "Yes, Ethan. I’ll be fine." She just couldn’t keep the words from spilling out. Closing the door she finished dressing.

  She was in bed when he came back. "That’s better," he told her with another triumphant smile. "I’m glad you’ve got a book. It’ll keep you busy, for a while, at least."

  Jenà reached up for the paper and pen he was holding. In large letters, underlining each of the words, she wrote the message she had for him. IF YOU’D GO AWAY, I WOULDN’T BE TEMPTED TO TALK SO MUCH!!!

  "You’re probably right about that. Is there anything I can get you?" He felt a little pity for her, as he spoke and she couldn’t, not without being told to shut her mouth.

  The pen scribbled the letters N and O, but then she wrote out that she wanted to know what her last meal had consisted of.

  "Let’s see." Ethan stood beside the bed thinking. "There was rice with a sauce, veal cutlet, spinach a-laEdward." He stopped when she began writing again. "I’ll have to ask. I don’t know what he puts in it. You rest."

  BUT I’M NOT TIRED! I’M NOT SICK!! Her hand wrote as fast as it could.

  "I’ll come back in a bit to keep you company. Would that be all right?" He watched her fill the whole page with her answer, larger N and O than before. He looked down at her for an explanation.

  "Because when you are around me..." She forgot again.

  "Write it." He barked at her. "I understand. Got it loud and clear. The doctor told me you needed rest. He actually told me to leave you alone." He chuckled. "I wonder what he was thinking?"

  "Yes, I wonder, too." When he looked at her with narrowed eyes, she lifted the paper she’d written first, then smiled mock sweetness up at him.

  "I’m going. You don’t want me back tonight?" He looked disappointed at the shake of her head. "I’ll come check on you in a little while anyway. Someone needs to tuck you in, and turn off the light."

  When left alone, she closed her eyes wondering if this was a blessing, or if she was being punished her for making up the story. Either way, she was going to have to put up with Ethan’s caring ways. It seemed he was going to do everything for her. How much energy was it going to take if she was to shut off a light? She would have to get up to use the bathroom. He couldn’t do that for her, could he?

  <<<< >>>>

  SHE HAD fallen asleep reading her book. Feeling it being taken away from her hand, she stirred a little, opening her eyes to look up at him. Her smile received one in return.

  "You are a temptress, Jenà." His words were a whisper as he bent, placing a kiss on her forehead, though he wanted to touch her lips with his.

  "Good night, Ethan," she whispered, putting one hand to his whiskered cheek.

  His hands took hers as he closed his eyes. "I’ll bring your breakfast in, but not real early."

  "Honest, I’m..." Her words were cut off by the fingers he placed on her lips gently. Then he left, turning the light off as he went out the door.

  Her thoughts were on the door he went out of next. She didn’t think she could rest, knowing it was unlocked. Throwing the covers back, she walked through the two rooms, using only her bedroom light to find her way.

  Back in bed, she lay awake for a little while, wondering what the next few days to a week, the doctor had sentenced her to, was going to be like. How soon before she could start talking, without being told not to? When could she resume singing, the thing she loved to do most? Sleep took over shortly after the last question went through her mind.

  <<<< >>>>

  WAKING EARLY, Jenà showered and dressed in her jeans and pullove
r sweater. Sitting in the front room, she picked at the strings on her guitar. She had already tried using her voice, which was no better than it was the night before. She couldn’t remember feeling more like singing than she did this morning.

  After a while she got restless. Having no idea when her breakfast would be brought in for her, or even if Ethan would be up anytime soon, she decided to go upstairs for at least a cup of coffee. The thought of leaving a note for him passed through her mind, but she dismissed it with a quiet laugh. Just because he acted like she was his possession, didn’t make it so.

  Many of Ethan’s guests were in the dining area having coffee, awaiting their morning meal, when she walked in. Near the kitchen door, Jenà found the doctor beside her, a smile on his face.

  "You’re looking nice this morning, Miss Wisdom. But you really shouldn’t be up and about for a while. You should get plenty of rest." He looked at her as if she were quite ill and hadn’t sense enough to realize how serious it was.

  "I’m fine." She mouthed, not particularly wanting to hear him tell her that she shouldn’t be using her voice yet. "I came to get a cup of coffee." Her lips moved in slightly exaggerated movement, forming each of the words so he could read them accurately.

  "Open your mouth and let me take a look at you. Is there any pain this morning?" He stood waiting for her to do as he said.

  Looking around the room and then back at him, she mouthed quietly again, "Not in here." There were too many people for him to expect her to let him examine her at the moment, even if it was just her throat. She would feel quite embarrassed.

  "Fine." He didn’t seem to be put out because of her refusal. "You get your coffee and I’ll meet you by the stairs and we’ll go down to your room. I’m sure Ethan is up by now, anxious to know how you’re doing."

  "Really, doctor. I’m fine." She forgot and tried to use her voice.

  "It doesn’t sound much better. Have you taken your pill this morning? You should eat with it, or it could upset your stomach." He watched as she shook her head in silence at his question, then he went back to the table where his wife sat talking to another couple.

  Jenà walked into the kitchen, smiling as she saw Flapjack at his stove stirring frantically. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t have gotten his attention in the noisy room. Walking to where the large percolator sat, she took one of the china cups and poured the steaming coffee into it. She thought how nice it was not to be told she shouldn’t be doing even that.

  "Hello Jenà." Jenni’s voice was a bit cold, coming from the pantry door. She stood holding a bag of flour.

  Mouthing without a sound, she smiled as she said, "Good morning," in large rounded words. Walking toward the pantry, she moved away from the counter where the empty flour canister sat, waiting to be refilled.

  "Is there something wrong?" The woman asked as she passed her, placing the bag on the counter beside the canister.

  Turning as she watched her ex-roommate, she spoke as loudly as she could. "Lost my voice. I must have eaten something with lemon in it. I’m allergic to it."

  "What a shame. I hope it isn’t permanently damaging to your singing voice. That would be a darn shame." Jenni sounded sympathetic, as she continued her job. She looked very tired.

  "No. I’ve gone through this before, though not this bad. I’ll recover, says the doctor." Standing near the pantry door, she watched all the commotion in the kitchen as she drank her coffee. "It’ll probably take a few days before..."

  "Jenà!" Ethan’s deep voice rang out, coming from the diningroom door. "I know John hasn’t given you permission to exercise your voice yet. What are you hoping for? A few weeks or months of not being able to sing rather than just a few days?"

  She had jumped and closed her mouth when he nearly yelled her name, using such a tone she knew he meant business. Turning her head to him, she answered. "No, I’m not." Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the cook had also turned in Ethan’s direction to see what all the noise in his kitchen was about.

  "Downstairs! John is waiting to look at your throat again." When she didn’t move, he stepped toward her. Taking the half empty coffee cup from her hand, he gave it to Jenni as he took Jenà’s arm, leaving the room with her.

  "How dare you!" She squawked. "I’m not yours to order around, Mr. Ayers."

  In a tone close to hers, though his was in deeper anger, he spoke with narrowed eyes. "Are you going to be quiet, or do I have to kiss you in front of everyone to shut you up?"

  "Don’t threaten me, Ethan." Jenà walked ahead of him as far as his hold on her would allow. Her own anger becoming harder to control, as her breathing seemed to become more difficult. It felt as if her throat was closing on her. By the time they reached her room, she was gasping to get any air.

  Ethan hadn’t seemed to notice, as far as she knew. Silently he was listening, then opening the door, he swung her up in his arms and took her to her room where the doctor was waiting.

  She felt dizzy. She was breathing too quickly, but not deep enough, panicking because she didn’t know what was happening to her. Her arms went limp around his neck as everything went black around her. She could hear their voices near her, but couldn’t understand anything they were saying. The bed was under her, but that was all that her mind registered.

  When she opened her eyes again, she found there were no more problems with her breathing. She felt calm, relaxed. Taking a deep breath, she looked around the empty room. She was going to get up, but found she was too weak. Pushing the covers half way down, she noticed she was back in the gown she had pulled off earlier.

  Ethan walked into her room at that time. "Are you planning to go somewhere?" He sat on the side of her bed after pulling the covers back over her, blocking her from getting up. "You are to stay put for a few more days; doctor’s orders."

  She looked at him angrily. "How did..." His hand covered her whole mouth.

  "You will not talk, or I will have the doctor come give you something to put you to sleep again." He removed his hand, smoothing out her hair on the pillow.

  "How did I get back in my gown?" She demanded in silent lip movement. His smile was answer enough for her. "You didn’t!" She accused with her lips as well as with her blue eyes.

  "I did." He confirmed. "You passed out and the doctor gave you something to calm you. You really shouldn’t get so angry, Jenà." He ran his fingers down the side of her face, outlining her jaw, then touching her lips. "You are so beautiful." He spoke on a deep sigh.

  Moving slightly, she grabbed his finger between her teeth, biting down hard. It felt like he had pulled her front teeth out when he jerked his hand away from her. "Maybe that will teach you to leave me alone." She spoke in a childish pout, in her hoarse voice.

  "You little brat." He rubbed his finger. "If you weren’t so ill, I’d turn you over my knee for that."

  She could see he was angry enough to do what he threatened. "You and who else?" Her expression matched his.

  "I see I’m going to have to put a restriction on visitations to this room." The doctor leaned on the door frame watching the two of them. "I hope our patient is feeling better now." He walked to the bedside, moving his head quickly, silently telling Ethan to move. "Open up." He was in the spot the other man had vacated, and he talked as he pointed his little light in her mouth. "You know, I’ve seen a simple allergy like yours create big problems. One woman I believe was allergic to freshly cut hay, lived no where close to it. But she went to her friend’s in the country for a short afternoon visit during the haying season. That was years ago. She still talks like you are right now. Her vocal cords were damaged beyond repair."

  Jenà searched his face. He looked serious enough to be speaking the truth, but she wondered if he was just trying to scare her into being quiet as ordered. Could it be true that she might never sing again? She didn’t know what would become of her if that was to happen.

  The doctor, finished with her, turned to Ethan. "I suggest if you don’t want to be a cont
ributor to her loss, you either stay completely away, or quit causing arguments."

  Jenà smiled as he put the blame on the man standing there, still rubbing his finger. Maybe now she would get the rest she was commanded to get.

  "I told the kitchen that you would be ready to eat soon, so they should be bringing in something shortly. You’re to take one of these pills, too. You’ve already missed one, and if this happens again, I’ll take these away and give you injections. I ordered rest, and you will get it, one way or another." Having said his piece to both, the doctor turned and left, closing the bedroom door.

  Ethan picked up the paper and pen on the table beside her. "I guess we got told." He no longer showed the pain she had inflicted on him. "Keep this beside you, and don’t open your mouth except to put food in it."

  Bringing her right hand up to her brow, Jenà saluted smartly. Her anger was subsiding, but she wished to be alone. Picking up the things he had put beside her, she wrote just what she felt. GET OUT! Setting the things aside, she turned over away from him.

  "Don’t be angry with me, Jenà." He spoke softly, bending over her. "I’m only concerned about you." He kissed her cheek lightly, then left, closing the door again.

  The deep sigh that came from her brought unwanted tears. She felt sorry for herself, what else could she do at that moment? If she was to get up, she knew she would be chased back into bed, either by Ethan or the doctor. She didn’t want to read, knowing she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on any of the words. She would just lay there and cry, since it was what she really felt like doing.

  It wasn’t long before a tap at her door alerted her to someone coming in. A cart was wheeled in, Westley doing the pushing, to the side of her bed before he stopped. He stood there waiting for her to turn toward him.

  "Jenà?" His voice was quiet, in case she was asleep. Her arm came from her side, her hand waving him to go away. "I was told to make sure you were comfortable. If you’ll let me, I’ll prop you up and put the tray over your lap."