Annie's Recipe

by Lisa Jones Baker

  “Don’t you think our community was a bit harsh on Levi’s dad?”

  “Honey, the Ordnung has been around for years. Those who choose not to follow it know the repercussions. Rules are rules.”

  Still holding the colander, which became heavier by the second, Annie focused on keeping it perfectly still. Her arms shook a little. “But wouldn’t God want us to forgive?”

  Her mother pushed out a sigh as the last drop of yellowish mixture came out of the stainless-steel cooker. Hot steam hit her face. Annie was glad to return the colander to the sink and step away from the intense heat.

  She sat down on a beautiful dark walnut chair made by her father and looked up. Annie searched her mom’s face and awaited a response. None came. But it didn’t matter. Annie knew what her answer was.

  * * *

  With a combination of uncertainty and great excitement, Annie approached Pebble Creek. The crisp fall air smelled of burned leaves; neighbors had cleaned their yards. A light haze of smoke lingered before evaporating into the environment.

  As she took in the vast area that led to Pebble Creek, she breathed in slowly and appreciatively and pressed her lips together in awe. The land was beautiful, and this particular parcel boasted the only hill in the predominantly flat area.

  Annie looked around; she stepped carefully, occasionally lifting the bottom of her dress so as not to trip on sudden inclines in the ground. As her left foot succumbed to a hole, she quickly caught herself to avoid a fall. Regaining her balance, she carefully began to increase the speed of her pace, anxious to see Levi.

  She considered the significance of their meeting, and automatically, her lips lifted at the corners in a bittersweet combination of contentment and sadness. Time together was well overdue.

  But she would savor every moment with the best friend she had ever known. It would be like old times. A rare opportunity to relive a piece of their happy past, she reasoned. A guilty seed planted itself in Annie’s chest. She didn’t know why.

  I’m not doing anything wrong; that’s for sure. But I didn’t tell Mamma where I was going. That’s not like me. I don’t intend to be sneaky. I’ve never hidden anything from my parents. And even though Levi’s merely a friend, I figured they wouldn’t want me to have much to do with him for fear our friendship might become something more. I don’t want to alarm them; I don’t think they ever understood what a huge hole in my life Levi’s moving away left. Of course I didn’t talk much about my sadness. What good would it have done? The circumstances couldn’t be changed. I have to talk to him now. At the same time, I don’t want to worry my folks. So . . . there’s no perfect solution.

  After all, Levi wasn’t of their church. Not that she had joined yet. But she would when she was ready. In fact, she couldn’t imagine going any other route.

  Now here she was. She stopped a moment to catch her breath. Lifting her chin and squaring her shoulders, she proceeded up the hill with short, quick steps until she glimpsed the creek.

  As the warm sun hit her shoulders, the air hinted of burning leaves. The thought reminded her that she had a lot to do in her own yard the moment she got home.

  But that would have to wait. Because today she and Levi would both be at the very spot that, long ago, was their meeting place.

  For that reason, Pebble Creek was quite special. Unique. Her times with Levi had been few and far between. As she glanced up at the bright sun, she blinked. For a moment, moisture blurred her vision at the thought of the happy occasions she and Levi had spent here. She smiled with satisfaction. Levi was an important part of her past.

  A soft breeze nudged a single tendril of long hair loose from her covering. Automatically, she tucked it back underneath.

  From a distance, she spotted Levi. Her heart pumped with excited happiness. She waved. He returned the friendly gesture and stepped quickly to meet her.

  “It’s good to see you, Annie.”

  “You too!” She didn’t try to stop the excitement that edged her voice. “There’s so much to catch up on.”

  He glanced toward the path alongside the creek. “Are you up for a walk?”

  She offered an eager nod.

  As they proceeded, Annie’s pulse raced with a combination of excitement and happiness.

  Automatically, she considered the unique person beside her. The boy she had looked up to. Now she had him all to herself. But only for a short time. She frowned. Soon Mamma would need her for chores.

  How could she and Levi cover ten years in just an hour or so? Suddenly, she knew what she’d planned to accomplish was downright impossible. She looked up at him and giggled.

  “What?”

  She bumped into his side to avoid a dip in the earth. As soon as she regained her footing, she turned to him. “I was just wondering how fast the two of us could talk to cover a decade.”

  Offering an understanding nod, he smiled a little. “I know just what you mean. Hey . . .”

  She looked up at him to continue.

  “Maybe we should prioritize. You know, just touch on the important stuff.”

  She faced him and gave a strong shake of her head, resting a set of eager hands on her hips. Raising her chin, she looked him straight in the eye. “No prioritizing, Levi. I want to hear everything. Don’t you dare leave out one detail!”

  He pretended to check the silver watch on his left wrist. His voice feigned skepticism. “How much time have we got?”

  She lowered her chin a notch. “An hour or so. Until I have to help with dinner.”

  As soon as she said the words, a sad rush swept through her, but she quickly ordered it away. There was only time for happiness. She didn’t want to waste a second with him.

  In a thoughtful silence, they traveled slightly up the lone hill. In front of them loomed Pebble Creek’s main body. As if on cue, they sat down side by side.

  “Our sitting stones are still here,” she commented.

  “I know. Remember when we carried them all the way from the creek?”

  “Jah! They were so heavy; we brought them a few steps at a time, then put them down. Seemed like it took forever.”

  He nodded in agreement. “Now, ten years later, here we are.” He gave a quick shrug of his shoulders. “I guess our efforts weren’t wasted.” He swallowed and lowered the pitch of his voice to a more serious tone. “I want to hear all about you.”

  She held up a hand of protest and lifted her chin. “Only after you tell me what you’ve been up to. Start with your family. How are they?”

  “They’re fine.” Levi offered an amused nod. “That’s my Annie. Always taking charge. You’re every bit as direct and straightforward as when we were kids.” The green flecks on his pupils danced when a ray of sun hit them. “Just the way I like you.”

  She smiled a little. She bent her legs at the knees and hugged them, eyeing him with curiosity. “I’m serious. I’m dying to hear what you’ve been doing,” she pressed. A giggle escaped her throat. “Let’s call this our ten-year reunion.”

  “Okay. Then we’d better get talking.”

  “I can’t believe you’re back,” she started. “Over the years . . .” Her gaze lowered to the ground before reconnecting with his. “I’ve wondered about you. I hoped with all my heart that life was kind to your family. I’ve prayed for God to take care of you.”

  He nodded appreciatively. When he looked at her, she took in his appearance. There was a new confidence about him. She guessed it had come with experience and age.

  “That’s so like you, Annie. Always thinking of others. But I’ve kept you in my prayers, too.”

  “Jah?”

  He nodded. “Especially right after we left town.” The corners of his lips dropped a couple of notches. “I had to make new friends, you know.”

  He adjusted his position on the rock. Taking a deep breath, he casually grabbed a stick near his foot and played with it while he spoke. “I’m sure you guessed our move wasn’t without challenges.”

  Not
sure what to say, she held his gaze.

  “After we left, Dad basically started from scratch. I can’t begin to tell you what we went through. Finding a place to live, him finding a job . . .” He let out a deep, agonizing sigh. “It was horrible.”

  She swallowed an emotional knot, quick to note his expression, a combination of regret and resentment.

  “Levi . . .”

  “The anger that I felt . . . I can’t explain it. Like I said, I know Dad broke a rule, but the punishment was so . . . drastic. He drove his work truck.” He paused before adding, “His driver quit and he had commitments, so he was forced to drive until he was able to replace him. It wasn’t really Dad’s fault.”

  Annie wanted to make things right for Levi and his family, but she couldn’t. What had happened had been significant for her, too. A chapter with an unhappy ending, a denouement that couldn’t be changed. John Miller’s truck title was in his company’s name. That was how the Amish did things. It wouldn’t work to put a vehicle in the driver’s name because it would mean that person could take off with it. Annie had been privy to that part of the Miller story.

  Despite Annie’s frustration, there wasn’t anything she could do about the past. She shrugged her shoulders in defeat. “It was awful. But did your Dad try to make things right? Did he think of apologizing for what he did?”

  The question seemed to take Levi off guard. His surprised raised brow made her catch her breath. Still, what she had asked didn’t seem unreasonable to her.

  “I’m not sure. What I do know is that he felt like his friends had abandoned him. It was no different from a cruel splash of cold water in the face. The hurt ran so deep, there was no way to fix it.”

  “If he had apologized . . .”

  Levi raised a defensive hand to cut her off and gave a dismissive roll of his eyes. “Let’s not go there, Annie. Because we’ll never know.”

  A tear slid down Annie’s cheek, but she stopped it.

  “Hey,” he whispered, “it’s not your fault. No matter how hard you try, you can’t control people. And as much as you try to change life, you can’t. All you can do is react.”

  She blinked and accepted the truth. “It’s not a perfect world.”

  He gave a slow shake of his head. “No. But you’re here with me now. That makes it as perfect as it can be.”

  She smiled her relief and nodded. “No matter what happens, our friendship will always be.”

  He glanced away for a moment before looking back at her. “Our bond can never be broken. Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Annie’s sad heart pounded with uncertainty. But time with Levi was precious. She thought of a more upbeat topic. “Your dad was lucky to have you. Even when we were kids, you always figured things out. You helped him build homes as far back as I can remember. Those skills must have come in handy.”

  “I’m his right-hand man,” he said proudly. “At first, no one in the Morton area knew of him, so he did fix-ups.”

  She raised a curious brow.

  “You know, remodeling kitchens and bathrooms and such. Lucky for us, there wasn’t a lot of competition at the time. We finally got our break when a doctor and his wife liked the room we’d remodeled so much, they asked Dad to build a brand-new home for their daughter and husband-to-be.”

  It was quite common for the Amish to have their own businesses. Decades back, when land was cheap, most of them had farmed. But when land prices rose considerably, it became necessary to do other things.

  He shrugged and offered a satisfied smile. “That was his big break, really. After that, his name and reputation spread quickly. We were able to move into a nicer, bigger place, and now we live in a two-story Dad and I built ourselves. And today . . . let’s just say Dad paid his dues and enjoys the benefits of years of sacrifice. He pretty much picks and chooses his projects.”

  “Sounds like you’re okay, then.” She nodded approval and paused to think of the right words. “I’m so sorry, Levi. When I heard what happened, I couldn’t believe it.” She rolled her eyes in frustration. “It was a shock. And it weighed heavily on my mind for a long time.”

  His expression was a combination of appreciation and sympathy. “I wished I’d had the chance to at least say good-bye. But things; they happen so fast, it was like a blur. Suddenly, we left here. The only home I had ever known. Dad hired a driver to take us away. He led in his truck. Everything we took with us was stuffed in the two vehicles. Afterward, the house sold with no problem.”

  “I know.”

  He hesitated. Levi closed his eyes, as if every word was difficult to get out. Finally, he threw his arms to the sky, then dropped them to his thighs as he regarded her with a helpless expression on his face. “It was over, Annie. We quit the only life we knew. We moved on without anyone’s help and survived.”

  The admission prompted her to lay back so her hands held her body up against the cold earth. “I don’t know what to say. I wish I could have helped.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “I would have done anything for your family.”

  He gave an understanding nod. “I know, Annie. You’re a true friend. I’m telling you, don’t even start to imagine what it’s like to see the very people you love and work with . . . and depend on to suddenly treat you differently. When you’re no longer one of them. Most in the community still spoke to him. But not everyone. But even those who did . . . their attitude?” He gave a shake of his head. “Could we have stayed? Of course. Some do. But it would never have been the same. It was easier to move to a strange place than to stay where everyone knew you were no longer one of them.”

  Before she could offer her opinion, he held up a defensive hand. “I’m fully aware that the Ordnung doesn’t allow for deviation. The rules are etched in stone. You can’t erase them. Or edit them. And, obviously, Dad broke one. But . . .”

  A long silence ensued while he closed his eyes. When a lone tear slid down his cheek, salty tears stung Annie’s own eyes, and regret encompassed her heart and soul. If only John Miller hadn’t crossed the line. If only the rules weren’t so strict. If only she could undo the past for Levi, she would. Why on earth did it have to be this way?

  His voice softened, “I know what you’re thinking in that busy head of yours.”

  “You do?” She raised a challenging brow. “Okay, enlighten me.”

  He pressed his lips together. “When we were kids, you always prayed for everyone to get along. You longed for a perfect world. I’ve always thought of you as a dreamer.”

  She smiled.

  “And even though we’ve been apart a decade, that doesn’t change anything, Annie. Because I still know your heart. You want every story to have a happy ending.”

  She gave a slow nod of agreement. He was right.

  He leaned forward. He was so close, his warm breath feathered her eyelashes.

  She didn’t move. “You know me better than anyone, Levi. It’s like . . .” She thought for a moment. “It’s as if you can read my mind. And I’m not happy when things aren’t right. I do like happy endings. For every situation. Mamma always tells me something good will come out of something bad. And the truth is . . .” She stood and walked in the direction of Pebble Creek.

  When she turned, he was right behind her. She looked up and breathed a hopeful sigh. “We’re here for such a short time. And I’ve always been taught that God supports forgiveness and love. Of course I want things to be right. Especially for your family.”

  She drew her hands over her chest and closed her eyes in a plea that must give away everything she felt. “Levi, I would be lying if I said I didn’t want things to be the way they used to be.” She pressed both sets of fingers together so hard, her knuckles popped. “I pray for it. And I’ll never give up. In my heart of hearts . . . something good will come out of this. I know it.”

  She dropped her arms to her sides and lowered her voice. “I don’t want you to leave. Ever. But only God knows what will happen in the end, and we have
to go through setbacks to get there. It’s really hard to be patient.”

  She eyed Levi for a response. To her disappointment, he merely looked away. Together, slow steps took them back to their spots. But her mind flitted in every direction. She’d had her say.

  Mamma always told her to keep some things to herself. That people didn’t need to know her every thought. But that was Annie’s way. She was a straight shooter.

  She couldn’t bear the thought of losing her best friend again. He was like her partner. The person she needed beside her to be complete. She wasn’t sure why this feeling was suddenly more powerful than ever; she only knew her emotions were so strong and frustration came at her from every direction.

  With one desperate moment to try to make things better, she added, “Levi, I’ve always been taught at church that God has a plan for each of us. In fact, Old Sam brings it up all the time.”

  Before he could respond, his grin brought a smile to her face. “Sometimes we don’t understand why things happen. Especially, if they hurt us.”

  She paused for effect, and he nodded with understanding.

  She drew in a thoughtful breath and held his eyes. “At times, it might seem like things are falling apart. It’s easy to give up. To let the bad get the best of us. But we can’t let go of hope, Levi. God rewards the faithful.” She softened her voice. “I strongly believe that.”

  A cool breeze caressed the back of her neck as she continued. “We only know what’s happening at the moment. We can’t help it because we’re human. But God is fully aware of our every step. And that includes what happens in the end and all we go through, good and bad. So, Levi, your dad’s story and ours must have happy endings.”

  She pressed her lips together. “Promise me you believe it, too. And that you’ll keep your faith.”

  She took in his expression, which was a combination of surprise and confusion.

  “You really believe that, don’t you?”

  Pressing her lips together, she nodded. “I know it.”