Annie's Recipe

by Lisa Jones Baker

  He gave a quick, uncertain shake of his head. “You’re amazing, my Annie. Your faith is so convincing. Honestly, I don’t know where you get it. Truth is, I don’t think I measure up to what God wants me to be. I wish I believed like you.”

  “I’m sure you do, Levi. But sometimes we struggle. Because God tests us.”

  She wondered if she made sense and decided to give him an example. “Think of the disciples. What they went through. Their lives were filled with setback after setback. How easy it would have been for them to quit. But they didn’t. They persevered. As far as your family goes, the shunning . . . it was awful.”

  She hesitated before continuing.

  “And don’t ask me why things happened like they did, but it had to be a part of God’s greater plan.”

  More than ever, she yearned to convince him. She looked intently into his eyes. But the expression she glimpsed there was troubled. This made her even more determined to get through to him.

  She paused to choose the right words. “Right now, we’re mortal. We try to make sense of it all, but we can’t. I mean, that’s impossible. But when we’re in heaven with our families, everything will be crystal clear. In fact, we’ll probably wonder why we worried so much.”

  She eyed him for a reaction. Finally, he cupped his chin with his hand. “Annie, there’s something I’ve got to tell you.”

  She eyed him with curiosity.

  “In all the years I’ve been away, I’ve made new friends. But no one matches you.” He leaned closer and whispered, “You’re special.”

  For long special moments, she processed what he’d just said. Her heart fluttered in delight.

  She drew her hands to her chest in a combination of surprise and gratitude. And when she responded, she couldn’t control the breathlessness in her voice. “Thank you, Levi. I’ll never forget that.” She cleared her throat; still, her voice cracked with sentiment. “It’s planted in my mind like a seed. It will be a part of our friendship that will stay with me forever.”

  Not wanting to become too emotional during their limited time together, she tried to slow the excited beat of her heart to a calmer pace. For some time they sat side by side and gazed at Pebble Creek.

  “Do you believe how serious we are?”

  They laughed.

  “I know!” He waggled a hand in the air. “That only reinforces that we’ve been apart too long.” He offered a friendly nudge.

  Automatically, she forced the subject to something less personal. “I’m curious.”

  “About what?”

  “Do you have hobbies?”

  The mood changed with a snap of two fingers and she breathed a sigh of relief as he faced her. “You won’t believe this.”

  “Try me,” she teased.

  “I’m a volunteer fireman.”

  She straightened up with new excitement. “Jah?”

  He gave a proud nod.

  She thought for a moment. “Of course you are. How could I forget?”

  “What?”

  She widened her eyes in sudden recollection. “When we were kids, you were fascinated with rescue workers. I’ll never forget when Old Sam’s shed burned and the firemen showed up. You were only this high.” She estimated with her fingers above the ground. “And you were in awe of the guys who jumped out of that big red truck. Everyone around was concerned about the fire, but you were intrigued by the hoses. You asked all sorts of questions.” She giggled. “One of the men even gave you his hat to try on.”

  He joined her in laughter. “I won’t deny it. And my fascination stayed. When I got older, I read every book I could about firemen. It just so happened a small town near us asked for volunteers.”

  “And of course you signed up.”

  “Yup. I went through training.” He eyed her from his peripheral vision. “It was pretty tough.”

  “How many fires have you put out?”

  “So far, two.”

  She nodded approval. “There’s not a better way to help your community.”

  “There’s way more to it than serving, Annie. It’s rewarding.” He touched a proud fist to his chest. “You can’t put a price tag on hearing the relief in a father’s voice after we pull his son from a second-story house. Or the excited look on a widow’s face when we rescue her cat. It’s really something to make such a contribution to people’s lives.”

  He raised an uncertain brow. “I’m thinking seriously about what you said about God’s plan for us, and that every step, good and bad, leads to the final result. And it makes sense. My parents’ expectations have changed since we moved away.”

  He took a deep breath and leaned closer. “Right now I’m torn. I’m at a place in the road where I don’t know my next move. Since high school graduation my folks have wanted me to go to college.” He gave a casual shrug of his shoulders. “I understand why they’d want that. But wouldn’t it be a waste of time and money if I’m not sure what I want to do?”

  “Maybe.”

  “I struggle to figure out my purpose in life. But to tell the truth, I’m not sure what it is. And when I put pressure on myself to decide, I only get stressed.”

  Her heart warmed at his honesty. “Maybe you’re trying too hard. Maybe . . .” She shrugged. “It will come to you if you don’t worry about it. Pray about it, Levi. Then you’ll know. Maybe not tomorrow. Or the next day. Be patient.”

  A happy giggle escaped her as she stood. He got up at the same time.

  “Why, just look at you. The world’s at your doorstep. You’re healthy. You’ve got both arms and legs. And there’s not a doubt in my mind you can do whatever you set out to. But surely it’s gonna take time to decide what that is. It’s not as easy as knowing what to have for dinner. Or what time to get up in the morning.”

  He nodded agreement. “You’re right.”

  They took a few steps. His expression became more subdued. It reminded her of the calm after a big thunderstorm. Those interesting flecks in his eyes stopped dancing and eventually disappeared. The excited edge in his voice went away. “You know, that’s what I miss most about you, I think.”

  “What?”

  “Your confidence in me.”

  She squared her shoulders. “I’ve always believed in you. That’ll never change.”

  He nodded appreciatively. “I remember when we were kids, I never worried about anything really. Because you were always my cheerleader.” As if feeling the need to explain, he darted her a wry smile. “You know, sports teams always have the girls on the sideline who root for them? And what’s cool is that they clap even if you’re down.”

  He lowered his tone to a more emotional pitch. “That’s what you do for me.”

  Annie pressed her lips together thoughtfully. “How could I not believe in you?”

  She considered what he’d said about college. In a way, she wished her own path was as open as his. She would like to have the opportunity to do whatever she wanted. But Amish girls were pretty much expected to marry early, raise a family, and help support their husband’s career by doing bookwork and such. Her life had already been planned for her to an extent really. But that was okay. She wanted to follow that likely path. What the church and her parents expected. Still, to her dismay, a tinge of envy swept through her. She wasn’t proud of this unusual sensation. She would have to pray to rid herself of it.

  Why did she suddenly feel jealous of Levi for being able to choose his occupation? The question nagged at her.

  She’d started teaching after the eighth grade. As far as education went, he was mountains ahead of her. But that didn’t matter. They’d always had mutual respect. Something unconditional. He’d never tried to change her and never would. Since Levi had left, she hadn’t replaced him. She couldn’t begin to.

  They reclaimed their stones. “Have you ever thought of working with your dad as a career?” she asked.

  Levi leaned back a notch, dug his fingers deep into his jeans pockets, and hooked his thumbs over the tops. �
��Yup. Still do. I think he’d like that. Dad and I get along well. But right now, my future’s up in the air.”

  He paused, then said, “Annie, I hope God will show me my path. I pray every night for guidance. Whatever choices I make now could affect the rest of my life.” He shrugged. “I’m sure if I’m going to spend time working, I want to do something I love. When I’m old, I’d like to be able to say I’ve enjoyed my life. How about you?”

  When he looked at her, she felt her cheeks flush. She wasn’t sure why, and silently scolded herself.

  “You’re blushing!”

  She rolled her eyes. “No, I’m not.”

  He hesitated. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Annie. I used to love that about you. I’d even tease you just to watch your cheeks redden. And . . .”

  “What?”

  He grinned sheepishly.

  She crossed her arms over her breasts and sat up straighter. “You liked that I blushed?”

  He nodded.

  “When did I turn red?”

  “All the time! I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it. Not that you should. The color’s becoming to you. Think of how fortunate you are.” He winked. “English girls spend money on makeup to get that look, but you’ve got an advantage over them. I think God made you with a built-in shade of reddish-pink. Consider it a gift.”

  A laugh that was a combination of surprise and happiness escaped her, and he joined in.

  Annie wished she could stay there and talk forever. Whatever she said, Levi supported her.

  “Remember when Old Sam and Esther let us keep that kitten in his barn?”

  Levi leaned back onto the stone and crossed his ankles, biting on a clover he’d pulled from a patch as he spoke. “I’d forgotten. But now it’s coming back.” He snapped his fingers. “Autumn, we called her. I remember the day we found that little bit of a thing by the creek, all lost and alone. She clung to us like we were parents. We couldn’t decide who should keep her, so we shared her.”

  “I’ll never forget her silky hair. And it was an unusual shade of brown.”

  “Like leaves in the fall.”

  “That’s why we called her Autumn. We took her to Old Sam and asked if we could keep her in his barn. Of course he let us. I think Esther fed her as well.” Levi shook his head. “There’ll never be another Esther; that’s for sure.” He lifted an inquisitive chin. “Whatever happened to Autumn?”

  Annie gave a reluctant shrug. “She left the barn at night. Sam fed her at sunrise. One morning he waited for her, but she didn’t come back.”

  He gave a sad shake of his head. “Do you have any pets?”

  “I’d like another kitten, but right now Mamma says we have enough to take care of with the cattle and horses. How about you?”

  “I have a golden retriever. After we moved, we adopted her from the Humane Society.” He swallowed.

  Annie was fully aware that the shunning didn’t prompt happy memories. Yet she yearned to know about his life.

  “I think it was compensation for taking me away from you.” He rolled his eyes.

  She drew in a happy breath. “Really?”

  “Yup.” A long silence passed between them. Then he said, “It wouldn’t be a good reunion without a walk to the end of the property.”

  They stood at the same time. As they walked alongside Pebble Creek, they threw small stones into the shallow water to see who could make the bigger splash.

  Levi’s voice was soft. “By the way, I’ve been wondering: Did you ever make it to Six Flags? Our English buddies used to tell us about the rides. You always wanted to go. We talked about it and planned to do it during Rumspringa.”

  Annie smiled a little.

  “So did you make it there, Ms. Mast?”

  She paused at the way he’d addressed her. When she spoke, it was in a more serious tone. “Why on earth would I go without you? It wouldn’t have been fun.”

  As he walked her to the end of the property, she told him what she’d done the past decade. About learning to make sponge cakes, her relationship with Old Sam, and her coveted role as a teacher. She went on to tell him that the girls her age didn’t much interest her and about her goal to become the mother of lots of happy children.

  Not long after that, they said good-bye, and Annie continued home. She had spent the most perfect day of her life with Levi, but now her heart sank. There was no confidant like him. Not even Old Sam. She knew she could be happy the rest of her days spending every afternoon at Pebble Creek with Levi Miller. He had returned. And she wished more than anything he could stay.

  Chapter Three

  Jake was waiting at the front door. When Levi stepped inside, the little guy looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. Even in October, he was barefoot; his pant legs were rolled up, revealing a small set of shins. His dark suspenders looked a size too large against the boy’s narrow shoulders.

  The picture in front of Levi prompted a laugh.

  Remembering his manners, he looked into the kitchen and waved. “Good afternoon, Aunt Abigail.”

  At the gas stove, she offered a slight nod. “Levi. Sure is nice out there.”

  “Can we go feed the squirrels?”

  Jake’s pressing tone didn’t surprise Levi. Animals were the little boy’s favorite pastime.

  Levi nodded toward the boy’s mother. “Better ask your mom.”

  Automatically, the two glanced at the woman stirring what smelled like cream of celery soup. Raising a dark brow that was a combination of skepticism and amusement, she nodded and smiled. A dismissive hand followed. “Go on. But make it fast. Supper’s almost ready.”

  Outside, the barefoot boy led Levi to the side door of the old barn and pointed up to a shelf of dried corn ears. Levi glanced around at the bales of hay stacked neatly on the far wall, extending up to the roof. Most of the building was cordoned off for cattle.

  Happy memories flooded his mind as he continued to absorb the ambience. Brown containers of grain loomed in the distance. Levi breathed in the old familiar scent of the farm and smiled a little. He knew that to his English friends the smell would be revolting. But to him, for some strange reason, it sent a comforting, familiar sensation through his entire body.

  Little Jake interrupted his thoughts, nudging his arm and pointing to a shelf with his free hand.

  With a swift motion, Levi easily reached for an ear of corn and handed it to the kid.

  “Denke.”

  Without responding, Levi pulled another one from the pile. Looking down at the wide, eager eyes, he said, “One for you and one for me. Deal?”

  Jake’s grin was endearing. The boy’s eyes beamed with joy. “Jah.”

  Outside, quick, impatient steps took the boy to the family well. Levi followed. The Miller family was one of the few in the area that didn’t use city water. The copper pump stood in the middle of a large, circular concrete slab. Standing on the edge, Levi helped Jake shuck the corn and let the yellow seeds drop.

  The breeze caressed the kernels and pushed them away from the well. As if on cue, two brown squirrels appeared. They stopped to stand on their hind feet, as if they deliberated whether to come forward. Levi stood perfectly still. So did Jake.

  A long silence ensued while the squirrels studied the food with keen interest. Finally, one after the other, they stole some kernels and ran away. In the distance, three other squirrels contemplated their options. While they did so, from out of nowhere, another moved forward.

  This animal was at least a size smaller than the others. The white patch on his head made him easy to identify. He proceeded to Jake’s feet and grabbed a kernel. But to Levi’s surprise, the creature didn’t rush away; instead, he lingered and ate at his leisure.

  Jake laughed and pointed. “He’s mine.” With a slow, steady motion, the boy bent to pet the squirrel on the head. More to Levi’s amazement, the animal looked up at Jake and chattered. Obviously, the two were friends. The creature was obviously tame.

  T
he amusing interaction between animal and child continued. Levi smiled at the pair. “What’s his name?”

  Jake glanced at Levi and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  Levi raised his brow. “You mean he doesn’t have one?”

  Only appearing interested in the small creature that chattered without stop, Jake didn’t respond. But Levi persisted. “Jake, if he’s your pet, you have to call him something. Otherwise, he won’t feel special.”

  As soon as the words came out, Levi realized how ridiculous he sounded, but after all, he was talking to a five-year-old.

  Jake handed his corn to Levi to shuck it.

  “Levi! Jake! Suppertime!”

  The two glanced at each other. With an encouraging nod, Levi motioned to the squirrel. “Time to say good-bye to your friend.” But when Jake turned, the small animal had disappeared.

  Levi wrapped an affectionate arm around the youngster. “Come on. Your mamma’s waiting for us.”

  On the way to the house, Levi threw his shucked ear in the dumpster. The half-finished corn remained on the ground.

  Inside, the enticing aroma of cream of celery soup prompted Levi to lick his lips. It was his favorite. And, to his benefit, Aunt Abigail’s was the world’s best. His stomach growled as he and Jake hung their coats on their respective hooks. Jake’s was closer to the floor.

  “Did you think of a name?”

  All smiles, Jake looked up. “Friend.”

  Levi chuckled.

  After supper, Levi bonded with Jake until bedtime. When his little hand was in Levi’s large one, a strange, wonderful sensation swept up Levi’s arms. He reasoned it was from all the unconditional love Jake gave him. His little cousin reminded him of himself at that age. Trusting. Loving. And the way Jake looked at him melted Levi’s heart.

  Levi recalled his own childhood. He didn’t have to try hard to remember his strong trust in Annie. Although he had protected her, she, in turn, had been his security blanket. She’d looked out for him, too, with a motherly affection. He grinned. Her smallness hadn’t made her any less protective and nurturing.

  And he’d never forget leaving town. As he and his folks had pulled away with their driver, wondering how they were going to start over again in a new place, he had yearned to talk to his best friend. He hadn’t known how she could help to make things better; yet he’d been sure she could. Unfortunately, that opportunity hadn’t presented itself.