We Were Forever
Page 16
“This place is beautiful, Janice.”
“Thank you. Let me help.” She takes the presents out of my hands and disperses them underneath the Christmas tree.
“Hey, mom.” He kisses her on the cheek, and she hugs him back. I’ve never seen this side of their relationship and it tugs on my heartstrings to see Ryan experience that side of her that I know he’s longed for all this time.
“Well, hello. You sure have gotten big. Would you like a cookie? I think Santa brought some just for you,” she whispers. “If it’s okay with mama, of course,” she says, looking to me for approval.
I nod, unable to keep the smile off my face. Things may be weird between us for a while until we get used to it but she’s trying and that’s all that matters. She gets her all set up with a cookie and a cup of milk, before returning to Oliver. I appreciate the time she took to acknowledge Maddy and show her attention, too. The new baby has taken up a lot of our time that used to be solely for her and she’s still adjusting.
“Oh, my baby had a baby.” She puts her hands on her cheeks unable to hide her excitement. “Can I hold him?”
“Yeah, mom.” Ryan laughs and unbuckles him for her and gently places him in her arms. Being released from his seat, he stretches like a little old man, earning him praises from all around.
I sit on the arm of the chair and look at my family sitting before me. I’ve come a long way. We all have. We might fight like hell and say things we don’t mean, but we pick each other up and hold one another together like the glue that family is.
I watch Ryan sit next to his mom on the couch holding our baby, Maddy sitting in the middle, eating up all the love she can get. It’s when Ryan catches my eye and gives me a wink that no one else catches, that I know everything will always be okay as long as we have each other.
“Merry Christmas.” V laughs and throws a snowball at me and runs in the opposite direction to avoid the wrath I’m about to rain down on her for doing that. Woodzy takes off after her and all but knocks her down the minute his body collides with hers.
“You better run,” I call out to her back, but she’s only ahead of me for a few seconds, if that. She glances over her shoulder and knows she doesn’t stand a chance.
“Okay, Okay. I surrender.”
My body blankets hers as we both lay on the snow-covered ground panting for air, our lungs burning from the cold. “You gonna beg for mercy?”
“If you make me.”
“You know I will.”
Woodzy interrupts my mouth on hers, always one to protect her. Still a trader. I’m thankful he loves my girls just as much as I do. I swallow hard at the admission of my own thoughts. The very ones I can’t even bring myself to say out loud. Love.
I brought her up to the mountains to spend Christmas with her. Maddilyn’s with her mom this year and I won’t be getting her till next week. I wanted to do something special for Veronica, even if I don’t know what the repercussions of that might lead to.
I’ve thought long and hard about what’s going on between the two of us. We still don’t do labels but when you wanna kill a man for so much as looking in your girl’s direction, you know you got it bad. And that’s where I’m at. Would I be okay if I let her slip away into someone else’s bed? Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen if I don’t stop being a pussy and treat her how she deserves to be treated.
“Rome…”
“Yeah, V?”
“Move in with me.”
“Seriously? You reverse the roles again, now?” I groan. Killing me.
She throws her head back into the snow and laughs, her blonde hair halos around her. She truly is a motherfucking angel.
“Is that what you want?”
“Only if you’ll stay forever.”
“Forever? Deal.”
“God, you’re so unfair! Dad and V would so let me go.”
“And you’re still too young. I’m sorry, but no.”
“I just want to go live with my real dad.” Maddilyn storms off to her bedroom and the slam of her door is soon to follow. Ryan walks in at the same time, a confused but timid look etched on his face. I slap my oven mitt down on the counter and blow my hair out of my face. I’m covered in flour, and vanilla, and whatever the hell else is in this kitchen to make these stupid cupcakes. I regret volunteering to make four dozen cupcakes for Oliver’s baseball team fundraiser. Between work, and Maddilyn giving me hell, and baseball games and school, I’m going insane. Fucking Karen and her fancy ‘must be homemade’ rules. Next time, I’m hitting up an HEB bakery and they’ll never know the difference.
I type out a text to Roman about his sasshole of a daughter. If I have to endure this on my end, then he’s at least going to hear about it.
Me: Your daughter is driving me crazy.
Roman: Why?
Me: Her mouth. The sass is strong.
Roman: Sounds like her mom.
Me: Ha ha. I’m gonna send her to live with you.
Me: It’s what she keeps telling me when she’s pissed at me.
Roman: I’ll talk to her.
Ryan wraps his arms around me and sweeps my hair to the side to kiss my neck. The touch of his fingertips brushing against my skin is enough to calm my nerves after this hectic afternoon. Even after all these years, he still showers me with love as soon as he comes home.
“What’s going on, babe?” He reads my texts over my shoulder and sighs. He’s as frustrated with her as I am, I’m sure, but he never shows it. Not to her anyway. He IS her dad. Not by blood, but she knows that and holds it over my head every second she gets. Or when it’s convenient for her, like now.
We didn’t bother telling her all the gritty details about how I fucked up for a while, but she knows to an extent that I met Roman in California and that he is her biological father. She’s a smart girl, the rest she can learn later when she’s older, or never would be fine by me, to be honest. It’s in the past and if the need to know ever arises, we’ll face it then. For now, I avoid the topic like the plague.
“She wants some eighteen-year-old man, because that’s what he is, a man not some harmless little boy, to come pick her up Friday night to go to a Slipknot concert till three in the morning. I said no.”
Ryan cringes. “Good call. Remember when I met you at that Avenged Sevenfold concert when we were dating?”
“Oh my God,” I groan. “I’m never letting her out of the house again.” He laughs at my pain and spins me around to hug me against his chest. “I’m sorry she said that about her dad. And that you heard it.”
“Don’t be. It’s fine, Leylah. I mean, it’s not fine but I’ll say something to her. Don’t worry about me. She’s a pissed off teenager, I get it. I’m a big boy. I can deal.” He kisses my forehead and pulls his work shirt up over his head before he heads up to take a shower. “Quit letting her stress you out so much.”
“You should stop working out so much,” I can’t help but mention, since his hard, tan pecs are staring me in the face. “You’re making me look like a sack of potatoes compared to you.”
“You’re not fat, babe. You’re pregnant. You look great.”
I sigh because he’s half right. My body doesn’t do the same things as easily as it did fifteen years ago, and I really should cut myself some slack. It’s easier said than done, of course.
I found out I was pregnant six months ago when we cruised out of the Gulf of Mexico. I spent the entire trip sick as a dog and could hardly get out of bed. After being severely dehydrated and having to get off the boat at port to get medical treatment, viola! Pregnant.
Finding out that we are adding another child this late in the game was the opposite of planned. After having Oliver, I quickly went on birth control until we were ready to have another baby. With Ryan’s vasectomy issues and me being perfectly fertile, I didn’t want to take any chances with a roll of the dice until I was ready again.
Time kept passing by, life kept us busy, and the occasion never happened. I
never expected to get pregnant being on birth control. Sure, you hear about it all the time and you cross your fingers that you’re not in that statistic, and then you pray to the porcelain gods when your period rolls around every month.
I was devastated at first. Having a baby now when my youngest is half grown almost, is not on my bucket list. But every time he or she kicks, and I get that not so gentle reminder that it’s coming whether I’m ready or not, I just look at Ryan and know that we’ve come this far, we can survive anything.
Messy hair, messy kids, messy life. I’m doing it all and not taking no for an answer.
“I’ll talk to her before I leave town tomorrow night. I’m going to shower and clean up and then we can figure out dinner.” He gives me one last kiss, with tongue and that pretty, lopsided Ryan smile, before he disappears upstairs.
Damn she’s beautiful. Even now, when it’s half past midnight and she’s passed out on the couch in one of my t-shirts, because that’s all that fits over her belly anymore, with an almost empty bag of salt and vinegar potato chips laying in her lap. Reruns of her stupid housewife show are quietly playing, the glow of the tv the only light in the room.
It’s hard to believe in a few short months we’ll be adding another member to our growing family. Leylah loses her shit more than she’d like to admit but it’s okay. I’ll always be there to pick up the pieces and gracefully mend them back together, no matter how hard she might fight me on it.
Cloud jumps up on the arm of the couch to be pet as soon as she hears me come through the front door. She’s got to be three hundred years old in human years but she’s still kicking thanks to all the extremities Leylah goes to to spoil her, I’m sure.
“Hey, baby,” I lean down over the back of the couch and whisper, in attempt not to scare her. She wasn’t expecting me home till tomorrow and I don’t want to take any punches to the face in surprise.
“What? What are you doing home?” She blinks through the dark and as disoriented as she may be, she still puts a smile on her face when she sees me home.
“Shh, it’s okay. I came home a day early.” I lean down to scoop her up in my arms and carry her to our bedroom.
My favorite pastime.
We’re about to spend the next three hours not going to bed.
I know it took forever (get it?) for me to publish this book. It brought many tears, late nights, and self-doubt to the fullest, but I made it. I appreciate my friends sticking by my side no matter how many times I asked them if I sounded crazy. And for all the times they said no, even when I know I was. Teri, Tiffany, Kayla…I’m looking at you!
My husband, Josh, suffered through my rants and anxiety daily for YEARS over this book. Bless his heart, he always listens when I just need to vent and tries to offer advice to the best of his ability, LOL. Love you!
My mom always tells me she just wants to read my books. So, here you go mom! Love ya.
Jay, thank you so much for killing my covers as usual. I wish I could wrap you up in a bubble and keep you all to myself!
Virginia, thanks for making sense of my words since 2017.
Most importantly, to the readers that have waited almost two years to get this baby in their hands, I definitely couldn’t have finished this if it weren’t for you. I’ve written so many words and deleted them and repeated no less than ten times just to get this book right and do it justice to the original story. I hope that you are happy with their ending and thanks for sticking it out with me even after all this time!
Xo
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Brandi Aga is a stay at home mom of two boys and three cats. She spends her free time reading, writing, and online gaming with her husband of eleven years. Her love for books quickly escalated the need to tell her own stories. Dark, taboo, and dystopian romance are her favorites, but she reads a little bit of everything. Feel free to reach out and stalk her on all platforms to say hi and keep up with future new releases!
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We Were Memories (Also on Audible)
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Dear Rodeo