#1 Crush

by Kaia Bennett

  For the rest of the day Nicole avoided Gabriel like he was the plague. As soon as she’d been sure the coast was clear, she bolted from the bathroom, found herself some shoes, another pair of panties to put on, grabbed her purse, and fled the apartment. She went to see a movie, got something to eat, wandered into boutiques and window-shopped.

  Why the fuck hadn't she done this in the first place instead of getting sidetracked by whacking off in Gabriel's room? Every time she thought about it, which was every five minutes or so, she groaned and cradled her head in her hands. She didn't go back until she was sure her sister or Ian was going to be there.

  They didn't go out that night. Jackie and Ian were both exhausted, and she didn't have the energy to complain about it. Gabriel came home around midnight. Nicole was just putting together her makeshift bed on the couch when he walked in, looking like his usual carelessly delicious self in a red t-shirt and light blue jeans. He shot her a glance as he ran his fingers through his hair. She turned her face away and sighed for what had to be the thousandth time that day. At least when he hadn't known what a freak she was, she could have pretended that one day he would turn around and take a second look at her. That was out of the question now. He must think she was some kind of inept stalker.

  "Night, Nicole," he said. The sound pulled her out of her thoughts like cold water. When she looked up, he was standing at the edge of the hallway. His eyes were gentle and his smile was kind. Pity had never looked so sweet.

  "Night, Gabriel," she answered softly.

  That night she lay on the couch trying to sleep. She kept drifting in and out, occasionally waking up just enough to groan and slap herself on the forehead. Rationally, she understood she wasn't the only person to get caught indulging in self love, but rationality did little to quiet her stomach or give her the strength to be able to look Gabriel in the face.

  She turned over onto her side and huffed once more. That was it. She wasn't going to think about it anymore. In the grand scheme of life none of it mattered anyway. This was just one week out of the year that she was going to have to face him. She just had to get through a few more days, and then she could head back home and put this embarrassing day behind her. It took a while for these new reassuring thoughts to stick, but soon they did and she eventually fell asleep, exhausted from the tension of the day. That's when she had the dream.

  She was lying on the couch and Gabriel was walking through the door, looking at her. But instead of him saying goodnight and leaving, he knelt beside her, tilting her face up to his. His lips were soft on hers, just like they were in all her fantasies. She moaned and murmured his name as she gave into the kiss. There was no need to be embarrassed now, not when he was kissing her cheek, down the length of her neck, over the thin fabric of her tank top where it covered her breasts. He kissed down the length of her stomach, moving aside the sheet so her legs could be revealed in her pajama shorts. Strong hands spread her legs and lifted one so that it was draped over his broad shoulder. His eyes were on hers as he kissed her thigh softly, moving up to the indent between her inner thigh and the outer lip of her pussy. He pulled aside the fabric of her shorts, never breaking eye contact with her as he lowered his lips to her waiting slit.

  Nicole gasped, eyes snapping open. Her breathing was ragged and she felt her body shifting, moving to a rhythm that would push her towards orgasm. In an instant, she realized it wasn't because she was touching herself, and it wasn't because of that ridiculously powerful dream.

  She looked down in shock to see Gabriel's head nestled between her thighs.

  Gabriel remembered the exact moment he saw Nicole. Not that he’d placed any significance in it at the time. It was just in passing, some random day when she’d been visiting Jackie on campus during their last year of college. Funny how some things changed, like him no longer pursuing a career in Business to match his degree. Funny how some things stayed the same, like Jackie, Ian and his band. Funny how Nicole managed to fall into each category, the same yet undeniably altered girl. His mind plotted the trajectory of the beginning up to this point, putting together the pieces that led to this awakening of her dual nature.

  Jackie had seen him and called out to him while he was on his way to a class they shared. At the time he’d been walking with his good friend Davy Nuke, the drummer for his off and on band.

  “I’ve got my sister here,” Jackie said, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder. “She’s got a break from school, so her and her friends figured, hey, why not hop a plane to New York and follow this band around for their four-day weekend. And my parents actually let her just cause she got straight A’s this year. Like, big whoop, I did that shit all through high school. Where’s my fucking plane ticket to London? Where’s the justice?”

  Jackie’s sharply pretty features twisted into a grimace. Her boyfriend Ian affectionately called it the kitten scowl and lived to tell the tale, so Gabe couldn’t help but suppress a smile whenever she made that face. “I swear our parents let her get away with murder just ‘cause she’s the baby. Anyway, I’m taking her and her friends to lunch before they head out for the show. Can you take good notes, please?”

  “I always take good notes,” Gabriel smirked. He shifted his back pack and looked over Jackie’s head to the group of girls standing by the fountain in the quad.

  “Yeah, well can you also make them legible? I feel like I’m reading hieroglyphs when I try to read your handwriting sometimes.”

  Gabriel nodded at her typical snark, but he was preoccupied with the scene unfolding across the quad. He watched a red head and a taller black girl laugh as a shorter, curvier Nicole cursed up a storm and shook out her arms. She was covered in the strawberry colored liquid she’d been drinking moments before and was giving the other girls the finger with one hand while she unbuttoned her shirt with the other. She looked similar to Jackie, but she was rounder, softer, maybe a little taller. Jackie had curves but she was thinner and had more edges to her, as if her body was trying to telegraph her personality. Still, even from this distance he could tell she definitely shared some genes with his best friend.

  “Which one’s the little sister?” Nuke asked, laughing a bit when the smoothie-covered girl tossed her shirt at the red head and it clung to her face.

  “Oh, that would be the klutz that spilled her drink all over herself,” Jackie said with a snort and a shake of the head.

  Gabriel gave her a quick once over. He watched her smooth out her hair and inspect the tank top she was wearing under her blue and white striped button down shirt, swiping at the full cleavage peeking out of the top of the navy blue fabric. Then a pair of fingers snapped in his face and he was looking at Jackie’s laser stare.

  “Don’t even think about it.”

  “What?” Gabe said with a wide-eyed guffaw. He even lifted his hands as if complying with her demand to see that he was unarmed.

  “You know what, Vaginator, my sister is adorable and totally off limits. She’s too young for you anyway. She just turned 17.”

  “Jail bait. Got it,” Nuke said, shaking his dark brown hair out of his eyes and titling his head in the direction of the girls. “Although…in certain countries the legal age is…”

  Nuke was suddenly whistling and taken by the cloud patterns overhead at the precise moment Jackie turned to look through him. She had horror movie stares down pat.

  “You know I only have eyes for you, Jacqueline Langley,” Gabriel said with a wink as he started walking backwards towards the direction of class. “You rock my world, Jackie.”

  “Shut up, fool!”

  “I’m saving myself for you, Jackie…” he whispered with all the creepy intensity he could muster before laughing at her expression.

  “Ugh, gross! I’m gonna tell Ian.”

  Gabe laughed at that. He was no competition for Ian, who was built like a quarterback and knew how to disarm even Jackie with a smile and a wink. He’d introduced them, figuring their senses of humor and drive to succeed might complim
ent each other, and Ian had made it clear from that moment on that Jackie was the girl for him. When Jackie nonchalantly asked about “that Ian guy” the day after they met, he knew she was hooked too. His two best friends had nothing to worry about from Gabe other than the occasional creepy joke.

  Nuke started singing Atlantic Starr’s ‘Secret Lovers’ and Jackie turned with a giggle and walked back towards her sister and her friends. Gabe turned then just as Nicole looked up and smiled at her sister. For a second he thought she was going to meet his eyes, but by then he’d already turned away and started the trek towards class, a lining of trees separating him from Jackie and the adorably off-limits baby sister.

  The next time he saw her it was a year later. He knew then that she hadn’t recognized him from that day, but of course he’d recognized her. Same girl, only this time up close. And cute, very cute. It had been an afterthought though. He was with Marta then and Marta was anything but cute. She was a full fledged woman and the first he’d ever allowed to get into his mind and heart. She took up a lot of his mental energy in the early days, and he was both aware of not looking at another girl in her presence and of the fact Jackie didn’t want her friends messing with her sister.

  He didn’t forget though, that when he touched her hand it had given him a shock. He’d been all set to say something but for a moment he couldn’t remember words. Some joke about the infamous Nicole with her impromptu road trips, or how it was nice to finally meet her instead of see her spill smoothies from a distance. He’d just been caught off guard for a second, by her eyes meeting his and the big bright smile she’d given him, followed by her outstretched hand. Then the shock when his hand engulfed hers had stalled all conversation.

  “Sorry,” she giggled, shaking out her hand and then Marta was there introducing herself.

  He decided he really liked her when he brought up a band he liked and she literally made a vomiting sound and rolled her eyes.

  “What? You don’t like—”

  “They are so overrated. It’s one thing to be inspired by Led Zeppelin but they think they are Zeppelin, and that’s the crime, man.”

  Gabriel stared at her open mouthed for a second, and then his lips quirked into an appreciative grin. He couldn’t help but laugh when she covered her mouth and looked at Jackie, who was rolling her eyes.

  “She’s one of your tribe, Gabe, a total music snob.”

  Nicole just shrugged and said, “Sorry,” but he could almost hear the ‘not really sorry’ she mentally said.

  “Hey, I like honesty. I mean, you’re wrong, but at least you’re straight up about how wrong you are. You own it.” Gabe made a pensive face and clenched his fist for emphasis and Nicole laughed.

  He liked the sound, and if truth be told, he liked the look in her eyes and the way her lips caressed her straw when she took a sip of her water. She caught him looking when her eyes snapped up to his. For just a second their gazes met and lingered, flirting with the line of mutual respect and what lay beyond. Something in him relaxed and tensed all at once. It was a refreshing feeling, familiar and new. The Langley women, he now knew, were a mouthy set. It was like getting ribbed by his good friend, but she was in this cute, shy package, softer and sweeter but no less strong.

  Then Jackie snapped her fingers to get his attention and he was drawn back into answering a question about whether he was going to grad school.

  Their first real meeting and he couldn’t have predicted how much that would outline their relationship. She would visit. The handshakes changed into hugs. The shy smiles and blurted declarations about books, music and movies became deliberate and friendly jabs or enthusiastic gushing over shared favorites. She’d tease him for being old school, for still liking tangible things like DVDs, CDs and records. He’d tease her back for being a youngin’ stuck on technology, how everything had to end up on a portable screen except for the books she borrowed. On that front they were united, both loving the feel of a real book in their hands, of smelling the pages and feeling them turn beneath their fingertips.

  They got another year older, then another, and this time around she’d found her way into his room, where they’d share new songs, compare what they thought was great with what they thought sucked. He’d toss her a new book and she’d return a finished one. He even let her palm The Spirits’ new EP, something he’d gotten during a gig where lead singer Meredith Rowe had approached him directly afterwards to tell him she liked his style. Nicole had really connected with their music and so had he. More than anyone could have predicted except for maybe Nicole, his musical partner in crime.

  That seemed like a lifetime ago. And even back then it wasn't that he hadn't noticed her. Nicole was a pretty girl. But that was just the thing. She was a girl. Having just turned 21 at the beginning of the summer, she was six years younger than him. And on top of that she was his friend and roommate’s younger sister. Jackie was crazily protective of her. She’d seen her heart broken too many times to count, had consoled her on the phone within earshot of him when a guy cut and run or when Nicole got bored. While it was also said with joking hostility, she dared any of her guy friends to eye her baby sister as a piece of meat, a conquest.

  She’d been looking after her like a second mother from the moment Nicole was brought home from the hospital. There were pictures somewhere of six-year-old Jackie changing her diapers, for crying out loud. Nicole Langley wasn’t going to be any guy’s piece of ass if Jackie had anything to say about it. And it was established well before and well after Marta that Gabriel wasn’t looking for anything longer than the space of a night.

  So, she quickly went from hot to cute in his eyes. When she would visit in the summer or for a few days on break from school, and he was in the area, he would look. How could he not when her legs were so long and soft looking, her ass so round and firm? And those tits, man.

  Jesus...

  But that was as far as it went, and he was never a guy who wanted to break a woman down to her basest parts just for the sake of fucking her. Not once he got to know her and respect her. He had his own twisted code of conduct now that things with Marta had fallen apart. No relationships, no getting emotions mixed up with sex. He couldn’t be trusted to do both. So, Nicole stayed the baby sister and he stuck to women who asked for only a piece of him here and there.

  None of the pussy being thrown his way had prepared him to come home and find Nicole warming hers up on his bed. He couldn’t get the sight out of his head. Sleeping was impossible. He couldn’t help it. When he tip-toed out of his room, down the dark hallway and towards her sleeping form, he told himself he was just going to talk to her, just talk.

  He stared down at her for a long moment, at the sheets tangled around her legs, probably from tossing and turning in her sleep.

  He was getting hard— harder—staring at her chest rise and fall, the nipples pebbled slightly under the fabric of her tank top.

  He knelt to gently wake her up, unable to help touching her face instead of lightly shaking her shoulder. She answered that touch with a hitch in her breath and slight nuzzle of his palm. Even now, even asleep, she was drawn towards him.

  “Nicole,” he whispered. His fingers lazily danced down her cheek. She moaned when they touched her neck, a sleepy moan that didn’t yet pierce the veil of consciousness.

  His thumb lifted to caress her bottom lip, sliding against the plump flesh. His mouth went dry and he licked his parched lips as he watched her respond to his touch.

  “Gabe…”

  Her hushed whimper, her desperate plea. How had he gone through life not knowing how his body could vibrate need just from the sound of her calling his name? She writhed in her sleep, and he leaned down to press his lips gentle as dream against hers.

  She then went still. Her hand, which had been resting on her stomach slid down her body and rested limply against her inner thigh.

  He smiled, almost laughed at the fact that even asleep he could make her hungry to come. He gazed down the len
gth of her instinctively responsive body, wondering how much she could take before she would wake up, craving the real thing.

  His fingers slid over the smooth skin of her chest, then halted.

  What was he doing? Shouldn’t he wake her instead of molesting her in her sleep?

  “…Gabe…please…”

  Her hand slid between her thighs, which clenched for a moment around it. She was going to wake up soon. His fingers lightly brushed over her right breast and she arched into the phantom light touch, reaching the peak of her wet dream. He couldn’t help wondering how wet she was in real life, and turned his attention towards the slow pump of her hips, which fell open before her face turned away from him and she stilled.

  She didn’t need to call his name again. Not while she was asleep. Her dreams were about to end, and so were his fantasies. He lowered himself down the length of her body, gently lifted her leg to his shoulder, slid aside the fabric of her shorts and pressed his smile to the bare flesh he found there, waiting for him to finally taste.

  Nicole was in the midst of the most visceral and intense dream she’d ever had. She had to be, because there was no way she was awake. Gabriel’s touch had been on her lips, her breasts, and now his mouth was tickling the apex of her trembling thighs. He wasn’t mad at her earlier indiscretion. No, he was far from angry…