No Going Back

by Karen Foley

  “We’ll make a stop at the military supply office. They’ll have a helmet and a flak vest that you can borrow while you’re here, and we’ll review the protocol for how to respond if the warning sirens should go off.”

  To hide her dismay, she stared out the window as they drove, pretending an interest in the buildings and military vehicles they passed. “Does that happen very often?” she finally managed, relieved that her voice didn’t betray her inner fear.

  “Not too often. As I said, we have a pretty good surveillance system set up on the perimeter, but a strike could occur at any time, so it’s best to be prepared.”

  “Of course.” She wondered what she would do if a strike happened during the night, when he wasn’t with her? “So just where are these bunkers?”

  “They’re situated about every one hundred yards throughout the base,” he assured her. “Don’t look so worried. You’ll be fine. I’m not going to leave you, so if anything should happen, I’ll be right there with you.”

  That’s what Kate was afraid of. She was more or less accustomed to being in the company of good-looking men, most of them associated with the music industry. But she wasn’t used to having male attention focused on her. Most of the men she knew were only interested in how her association with Tenley could benefit them. Kate had simply been a means to an end, or completely invisible. Having Chase’s full and undivided attention made her feel funny inside, as if she was either very fragile or very important. No man had ever acted as her protector before, or even indicated that he cared one way or the other about her well-being.

  As the Humvee drove across the base, Chase pointed out various buildings along the way, including the base exchange store, a small post office, a recreation center and a fitness center.

  “You seem pretty familiar with this place,” Kate observed. “Do you spend a lot of time here?”

  He shrugged. “This is my fourth tour. I’ve spent time on just about every U.S. base in the country at one time or another.”

  They pulled to a stop outside a large building constructed of corrugated metal, which Chase explained was the supply center. Inside, Kate saw it was really a warehouse filled with floor-to-ceiling shelves loaded with bins and bags. She followed Chase up and down the aisles as he selected items seemingly at random. Finally, when his arms were full, he made his way to a small window where a uniformed soldier dumped everything into a duffel bag and had him sign a hand-receipt.

  “Think you can carry this?” Chase asked, handing her the duffel bag.

  Kate took it from him, and nearly buckled under the weight. “What do you have in here?” she asked, grimacing. “Rocks?”

  Reaching out, Chase took the bag from her as if it weighed nothing. “Your new protective gear.” He grinned. “You won’t be required to use it here unless we come under attack, but when we head to some of the FOBs, you’ll need to wear it whenever you go outside.”

  They returned to the Humvee, and Kate watched as Chase stowed the duffel bag in the back of the vehicle. “What’s an FOB?”

  “A forward operating base. Those are the smaller bases that are essentially on the front lines, away from the central command centers. They don’t have much in the way of amenities, which is why they really appreciate it when entertainers come out to visit them.”

  “Are FOBs dangerous?”

  “They can be,” he acknowledged. “Some more than others.”

  She digested his words silently, envisioning a primitive, fortresslike base surrounded by a perimeter of thick mud walls, sandbags and concertina wire, while terrorists lurked behind rocks and bushes, just waiting for the right moment to launch an attack.

  “Having second thoughts?” he asked perceptively.

  She tipped her chin up and met his eyes determinedly. “Of course not.”

  He studied her face for a long moment, and then raised a hand to briefly cup her cheek and rub his thumb over her jaw. “Good,” he said.

  As he climbed back into the Humvee, Kate put her fingers where his hand had been. In that instant, she understood that Chase Rawlins posed a greater danger to her than any mortars or insurgent attacks.

  7

  CHASE WANTED NOTHING MORE than to get Kate Fitzgerald settled in her own quarters so that he could get away from her, even for a few hours. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t stop his imagination from retreating back to his housing unit at Bagram, and his bedroom, where he could once again envision her spread out beneath him. He hadn’t meant to kiss her, but when she’d pressed her lips against his own, he’d been unable to resist her softness.

  She’d smelled like sugar and vanilla and he’d wanted to consume her. He still couldn’t believe he’d lost control the way he had. His only excuse was that he’d been in Afghanistan for way too long, away from everything soft and feminine and sexy. But goddamn, when he recalled how gorgeous she’d looked on his bed, with her luscious breasts in his hands, he grew aroused all over again. He could have taken her right then; could have used her welcoming body to satisfy his own raging desire.

  But he didn’t want her like that. He had nothing to offer any woman right now, not when he was committed to the Army and still had six months left of his current deployment. Kate didn’t deserve to be used, and he wouldn’t let himself take advantage of her, even if she thought it was what she wanted.

  After he’d left her, he’d gone over to his command headquarters building, intending to catch up on the reports he was required to submit regarding the hunt for Al-Azir. But he’d been so distracted and aroused that he’d finally headed across to the fitness center and worked out his frustration on the treadmill and weight machines. Then he’d found himself in front of his housing unit just before dawn, imagining Kate inside, sleeping in his bed. He’d been tempted to go in and wake her up and finish what they’d started, but common sense had overcome his libido.

  For the first time, he wished he could be more like his twin brother, Chance, who never passed up an opportunity to get busy with an attractive woman. At least, he used to be like that. Now Chance was fully committed to the pretty Black Hawk pilot, Jenna Larson, who had flown them from Bagram to Camp Leatherneck. They weren’t talking marriage—at least not yet—but Chase knew there was no way his brother was going to let Jenna get away. He was happy for both of them, but he wasn’t looking for something similar. He didn’t need to complicate his life with a relationship that had zero chance of going anywhere, no matter how appealing he might find Kate.

  When he’d first learned that he would escort her to each of the bases, he’d contacted the USO at Camp Leatherneck and had learned that Kate could stay in the tent designated for the other performers. Chase suspected it would be very much like the one at Bagram Air Base, only this time there would be no other women bunking with her; she would be completely alone. Since he didn’t have his own housing unit on Camp Leatherneck, Chase wouldn’t have the option of letting her sleep in his quarters.

  As he suspected, the Humvee drew to a stop in front of a large tent, nearly identical to the one at Bagram. The wind had picked up and buffeted the canvas sides, causing them to billow out and suck back in. Kate stared out the window and Chase was unable to read her expression.

  Climbing out of the Humvee, he opened the back and whistled to Charity, who bounded down and began exploring the area around the tent. He grabbed Kate’s duffel bag and waited for her to join him.

  “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?” she asked. The wind picked up tendrils of her hair and blew them across her mouth, and Chase had to resist the urge to brush them away with his finger.

  “I doubt there’s much difference between these accommodations and where you stayed at Bagram,” he said reasonably. “I spoke to the woman over at the USO, who said this is where all the entertainers will stay while they’re here.”

  He pushed through the entrance of the tent, sensing Kate directly behind him. The tent was larger than the one at Bagram, with at least three dozen bunk beds lined up a
long the walls. The USO staff had hung curtains between the bunks in an effort to provide some privacy. But where the other tent had been sparsely outfitted, this tent was equipped with metal lockers and several small refrigerators. Chase set the duffel bag down inside the door and turned to look at Kate.

  “Please tell me you’re joking,” she finally said, turning to him. “There is absolutely no way that Tenley can stay here.” She gave a disbelieving laugh and gestured toward the cots. “She’s the only female in her band! Are you actually suggesting she sleep here with a bunch of guys, with only a scrap of material separating her from them?”

  Chase crossed his arms. “Well, she’ll have you to protect her.”

  “No way. There must be somewhere else. What about the time Carrie Underwood visited? Are you telling me that she stayed here?”

  “No. She stayed in a private housing unit, but unfortunately we don’t have any available at the present time.” He gestured around him. “This is the alternative, and if it’s adequate for the other performers, I have to believe it’s adequate for you and your sister.”

  Kate blew out a hard breath. “I knew the conditions over here would be harsh, but to have her sleep in the same tent with a dozen guys?” She gave Chase a helpless look. “Really, Chase? There’s nothing else available?”

  “Is she in any danger from her own band?”

  He could see Kate considering this before she shook her head. “No, but it’s not…appropriate. The point is, she shouldn’t have to bunk with her band. She’s an impressionable young girl, and she should have her own private accommodations. Wait…” She turned and stared at him. “Did you say I’m also staying here?”

  “I did.”

  Chase watched her expression turn from dismay to horror.

  “Am I supposed to sleep here tonight? Alone?”

  Oh, man. He knew her words weren’t an invitation, but he couldn’t prevent his imagination from surging.

  “Unfortunately, I don’t have my own private housing unit for you to crash in,” he said.

  Kate’s gaze locked with his and awareness flared in her eyes. Chase knew she was remembering what had happened between them, and when her lips parted on a soft “oh,” he realized he had to leave. He couldn’t stop thinking about the previous night, and now it seemed he couldn’t stop talking about it, either.

  “You’ll be fine,” he assured her. “Let’s go over and check out the concert venue, and then grab some lunch.” He glanced outside. “This storm is going to be here before dark, so we should go soon.”

  “Before we do that, is there someone at the USO that I can talk to?” She gave him a pleading look. “You don’t know Tenley. She’ll be miserable if she has to stay here.”

  “Kate, trust me when I say I do understand. But this isn’t Bagram Air Base, and they just don’t have the resources here that Bagram has.” He gestured toward the metal bunk beds with one hand. “This is what’s available, and I’m sorry if it’s not up to your usual standards, but it’s what you get.”

  Blowing out a breath, she picked up her pink duffel bag and dropped it onto the nearest bunk. “For myself, I don’t really care where I sleep. But Tenley deserves better.”

  Chase found his resolve crumbling beneath her obvious distress. At the same time, he couldn’t help but admire how doggedly she looked out for her sister.

  “Okay, look,” he said, scrubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “Let’s go over and talk to the USO folks. Maybe they can figure out alternate arrangements for the two of you.” She gave him a grateful smile, and he raised a hand to forestall the words of gratitude that he knew hovered on her lips. “Just don’t get your hopes up. They may not have anything else to offer you. When I talked with them, it sounded like they were stretched pretty thin.”

  Kate made a sound of frustration and sat down heavily on the bunk. “I don’t know why I came over here,” she lamented softly. “What was I thinking? Russell tried to talk me out of this, but I thought it was our only chance to save Tenley’s career.”

  Chase had no idea who Russell was, but he felt a surge of jealousy that Kate somehow relied on this man. Worse, it sounded as if she was on the verge of tears. He could handle her anger and her indignation, but he wasn’t sure how he would deal with her tears.

  “Okay, c’mon,” he relented. “Let’s go over to the USO and then we’ll take a quick look at the concert venue, okay?”

  Kate didn’t meet his eyes, but she nodded. “Okay.” Her voice was subdued.

  Chase frowned. Was she crying? He was torn between wanting to go to her, and wanting to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction. In the end, cowardice won out and he retreated toward the exit.

  “I’ll wait for you outside,” he said.

  The Humvee had departed. Chase would spend the night bunking with a Marine Corps battalion, and had given the Humvee driver instructions to drop his protective gear and duffel bag off at their tent. Now he wondered if he hadn’t been a little hasty in sending the guys off. The wind was still blowing, and the small rocks and dust that it kicked up made it unpleasant to be outside for any length of time. When Kate finally emerged from the tent, she looked composed, but resolute.

  “All set?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  She didn’t say anything else, and Chase didn’t ask. He was just relieved that she wasn’t crying. He could pretty much deal with anything, but not tears.

  “The USO office is about a ten-minute walk from here,” he said as she fell into step beside him. The wind was at their back, so they avoided the worst of the debris that was flying around. But when they finally reached the office, they were both covered in a fine coating of dust. The USO was housed in a large, one-floor building and consisted of a lounge equipped with oversize leather chairs, flat-screened televisions and a bank of computers and telephones. At least a dozen soldiers were sprawled in the chairs watching television, or sat at the computers, connecting with family members and friends back home. Chase could see two civilians inside the office, and pointed them out to Kate.

  “Do you want me to come with you when you talk with them?”

  “No, I can take it from here. This is what I do.”

  Chase sat down in a chair where he had a clear view of the office, and watched as Kate went in and closed the door behind her. Through the glass windows that separated the office from the public lounge, he could see her negotiating with the two USO representatives. She had her little planner with her, and was busy taking notes as she talked with the women. They were smiling and nodding, and she reached into her oversize shoulder bag and withdrew what looked like a handful of oversize glossy photos of Tenley Miles. She handed one to each woman. They spoke for several more minutes, and then Kate came out, looking extremely pleased with herself.

  Chase rose to his feet. “All set?”

  She smiled at him and tucked her planner into her bag. “They’re going to provide a semi-private housing unit for Tenley when she arrives. She’ll stay in a unit with me and two other women, but at least she won’t have to sleep in the tent with the band members.”

  Chase had to give her credit. He had talked with the USO representatives in the hours before Kate had arrived and had been told in no uncertain terms that the only option was for her to stay in the tent.

  “I’m impressed,” he said to her as they left the building.

  She gave him an arch smile. “It’s amazing what a little bit of charm can get you. You should try it some time.”

  He grinned. “Didn’t you notice? This is me at my most charming.”

  To his relief, she laughed. “Yeah, right.”

  “So where are you staying tonight?” he asked. “I’ll make sure your gear gets moved to the new location.”

  “Unfortunately, it looks like I’ll be in that tent by myself until the performers arrive. Then the two women at the USO are giving up their own beds for Tenley and me.”

  “Really? And where will they stay?�
��

  Kate shrugged. “They said they can put some cots in the USO office and sleep there for a couple of nights.”

  “And you’re okay with that? You don’t mind displacing other people for your own convenience?”

  Kate gave him a level look. “Not for my own convenience, for Tenley’s. And it’s not as if they’ll be sleeping outside. They offered to do this. I didn’t ask them to.”

  Chase didn’t know why he should feel so disappointed, but he did. He admired the fact that she would go to any length to ensure her sister’s safety and comfort, but he didn’t like how easily she could disrupt other people’s lives to do so.

  “Does she have any idea that people bend over backwards to accommodate her, or does she just expect it?”

  He watched as Kate drew in a deep breath, and then stopped to face him. “If you have a problem with this, Major Rawlins, maybe you should assign somebody else to escort me around. This is why I came over here—to make sure Tenley has everything she needs. She has no idea how much work goes into preparing for a concert. Like I said before, she’s just a kid. She has enough to contend with, without having to worry about the logistics of where she is going to eat, sleep, etc. That’s my job.”

  Charity gave a soulful whimper, as if sensing the tension between them.

  “Okay, then,” Chase said. “Let’s go over and make sure the concert site meets with your approval.”

  They walked in silence after that. As much as Chase was attracted to Kate, he couldn’t help but think this assignment was a waste of his time. She could clearly take care of herself. Meanwhile, part of his team was up in the mountains doing his job for him. He wondered how they were doing, and how soon he could rejoin them.

  Beside him, Kate’s shoulders were rigidly set and she stared straight ahead. Even as they toured the staging area where the bands would perform, she pointedly ignored him. She made some notes in her planner, and examined where the bands would wait backstage, but didn’t give him any indication of whether she approved of the site or not. But he’d seen Kate’s face when she’d thought Tenley would have to stay with the other band members, and he knew that her misgivings stemmed from a true concern for her sister.