Smoke and Wishes (Best Wishes Book 1)

by A. J. Macey

“We’re sophomores, the other two in our group, Dante and Hudson, are juniors,” Cam added. He and Nik had been relatively quiet, which was typical for Nik, but not so much for Cam. The wary look on his face led me to believe he was still a little suspicious of Gabe and Elijah.

  “Cool, cool. We’re sophomores, too!” Elijah added enthusiastically before tossing the ball. It spun around inside the cup, but before it could be counted as a win, I leaned over and blew into the cup. My previous pong partner had used that trick to get the balls back and win our match, so I thought it might be worth it to try. The ball lifted from the cup and rolled over the side of the table. Silence reigned and when I glanced up, I realized all eyes were on me. A furious blush rose in my cheeks and radiated down my neck and chest.

  “What?” Insecurity bled into my question. Was I not supposed to do that? Are there rules?

  Everyone laughed at that, even Sadie who was using me as a crutch. Afterward, the game passed easily. I wasn’t too bad, but it seemed my only real talent in the game was preventing the guys from getting any cups.

  Gabe lined up his final shot and sank it, I didn’t even have time to process what had happened before Sadie thrust the last cup into my hand. Despite losing, we had done surprisingly well, only leaving two cups on the table, which we also had to drink apparently. My chest and stomach felt warm from all the alcohol we had consumed. If I had to take a guess, I’d say I was somewhere between buzzed and tipsy at this point.

  The distinct sound of the Bitch Crew’s cackling drew me out of my warm and fuzzy state. Sinking into the stool next to Cam with Nik standing slightly behind me, Grigori settled onto my right shoulder. He nuzzled into me, his wing flicking through my hair. Please, don’t come in here. I was enjoying my time with my friends without them, but I must have upset the universe yet again because they, along with Dante and Hudson, came waltzing into the game room. When I saw who was with Madison, my heart stopped.

  No.

  No no no.

  “Lucie? Holy shit! What are you doing here?” Declan, an old friend from high school, had his arm slung over Madison’s shoulders. Breathe.

  “Declan, hey. I, uh, actually go to RSU.” I coughed trying to clear the knot in my throat and calm the pounding in my chest.

  “Really? You’re a supe? That’s awesome.” He looked around the room, a confused look on his face. “Where’s Noah? You two are never more than a foot from each other.” I felt my hands begin to shake as my vision dimmed.

  “We aren’t together anymore.” My voice cracked, the words leaving a bad taste in my mouth. No one seemed to notice anything was going on with me except my guys. Sadie had gone to the bathroom right after we finished our game, so I had no easy escape route. I need to get out of here.

  “Seriously? You two were the it couple back in high school. I always thought he’d toss a ring on your finger as soon as you both turned 18.” My stomach lurched at the thought of being tied to Noah for the rest of my life. The pleasant buzz I had been enjoying just moments ago had taken an ugly turn leaving me feeling like crap.

  Shaking my head, I swallowed hard to keep my sudden nausea at bay. I think I excused myself, but I couldn’t be sure, the roar of my pulse in my ears drowned out all sound as I moved from the room. Grigori squawked at the sudden movement, his wings carrying him to Nik. The Bitch Crew was eyeing me with speculative looks while my guys were all looking between themselves. As soon as I was clear from the game room, I ran as fast as I could in my growing panic. Pushing out into the back yard, I found a small path to the tree line and took off into the cold night.

  Dante

  Not even five minutes after Lucie left, the tension in the room had easily tripled. Khloe was talking with the other girls, thankfully, leaving me to sit with the guys. She and her friends were wearing on me, and I couldn't stand to hear their nonsensical gossip anymore tonight. We had all been sitting silently as we waited for Lucie to return, but that was beginning to seem hopeless. Logan and Landon simultaneously tilted their heads towards the hallway.

  Dipping my own in response, I leaned over to tell Khloe I’d be back. Hudson moved to do the same, balancing what had to have been his eighth beer between his fingers, but Brittney clung to his arm before he could pull away. Waving his bottle in my direction, I figured he would be placating her for a while and head out after. Before turning down the hallway, I caught a glimpse of Brittney handing Hudson a small black object. She seriously couldn't wait five damn minutes to give him something?

  I couldn’t help but worry about Lucie as I made my way to the backyard. She was so pale as she fled from the room. Something had terrified her. When Hudson finally caught up, his face held a harsh frown which caught my attention. I made a mental note to ask him about it when I got the chance. We were all standing slightly to the side of the house, where our conversation wouldn’t be heard, and formed a small huddle.

  I was too concerned about Lucie to pay much attention to the girls. I noted they had followed us, but were heading towards the woods instead of crashing our impromptu meeting. Good, we need to figure this out, and I don’t need Khloe bitching at me.

  “So,” Cam started, “I think it’s safe to assume that Noah is the abusive ex.” Silence met his statement. I could only assume the others were thinking the same as I was, about the scars marring Lucie's beautiful porcelain skin. The bruising painted across her torso at the beginning of the semester. My blood boiled in my veins at the thought of that guy ever being near her again, which meant this Declan kid was a threat.

  “It would be frowned upon to kill him, right? That’s illegal, yes? Someone remind me it’s illegal or I will go do it right now.” Landon was angry. So angry that he was pacing slightly and his voice was shaking. Red pulsed in his eyes, the color glowing within the black depths before subduing only to repeat the cycle. Lucie seemed to have affected all of us on the same level. She’s our Lucie.

  “Unfortunately, it is,” I replied. Looking over at Hudson, I realized he had been extremely quiet and closed off since we left the house. “You okay, dude?” Rage reverberated through him as fury burned in his luminescent eyes. Apparently, everyone's emotions are running too high right now. He looked up from where he’d been glaring at the ground to pin the look on the twins.

  “You slept with Lucie,” he ground out. His voice was low and slightly slurred, which wasn’t too surprising considering the amount of alcohol he’d managed to ingest since we arrived. When I finally processed what he had said, my skin felt tight. The urge to shift and fight was strong, but I held it back. I had only shifted once before, and it was not a pleasant experience, certainly not something I wanted to do again anytime soon. I looked to the twins, but the blank expressions they held clearly showed they were unphased by Hudsons statement.

  “Is that really the issue right now?” Nik interjected before either Logan or Landon could respond. “Our focus should be on making sure Lucie is safe, she is probably having a panic attack right now. Who cares who slept with who.” His arms crossed over his chest while Grigori shot off into the woods, probably to go look for Lucie. My eyebrows had crept up my forehead at the amount of words that came out of his mouth. Pretty sure he hadn't strung along more than five words in a single sentence in years.

  “Who cares? WHO CARES? Two of our brothers,” he spat the word and aimed a deadly glare at the twins before continuing, “slept with Lucie! They didn’t even tell us. What kind of family would do that?” Hudson’s voice was nearing a yell on the last of his rant.

  “First of all, I don't believe you are entitled to that kind of knowledge, Hudson. They, nor Lucie, answer to you, and being angry because they didn't jump to inform you of what transpired is just fucking petty.” Cam’s voice had taken on a harsh quality. He stood in a wide stance, arms crossed over his chest as he reprimanded Hudson. Turning to Logan and Landon, he asked, “when?”

  Nik and Cam didn't seem bothered by the revelation, and when I really thought about it, I wasn’t either. I couldn’
t say that I was pleased to learn about it, especially like this, but my initial surprise gave way to acceptance. You can’t have her anyway, I reminded myself. Guilt ate at me with that thought. Khloe may not be the woman I planned on staying with forever, but it was still wrong of me to contemplate my emotions for another woman while we were in a relationship.

  “Movie night,” Logan said. Almost a month ago, my chest ached to know Lucie could be with them and not me. Hudson turned away from us and began pacing, roughly pushing his fingers through his hair.

  “A month ago? You fucked her a month ago? A day after we agreed to make sure she was safe and to not push her and then you two fucking assholes go and do that? How could you take advantage of her like that?” Hudson roared at the twins. His eyes had taken on an ethereal glow, and I could feel his power radiating from him. For anyone else that wouldn't be much of a problem, but for supes that can influence emotions like he can, the excess power leaking into the area will only add fuel to the fire. Here we go…

  Lucienne

  Cold seeped through my jacket and seemed to leech me of all warmth. Darkness surrounded me until I felt like I’d never make it out. I couldn’t shake the sensation of him, his hands around my neck, the pain that radiated through my entire body. Everything hurt, and it just wouldn’t stop. I tried to remember the twins advice on grounding myself when in the midst of a panic attack. Feeling around, I realized I must have been on the floor in the woods. Twigs, grass, and dirt caked my hands. I took deep breaths, trying to utilize the senses available to me. Pine filled my nose, the clean and bright scent of the outdoors surrounded me.

  I was leaning against a tree when my vision finally came back, his voice and the feeling of him faded into the night. There was only silence for a moment before I heard footsteps in the distance. I tried to push off of the tree and right myself, but stumbled to the side with stars in my eyes. Finally, with the lightheadedness under control, I pushed to my feet right in time for the Bitch Crew to come through the trees.

  “Hey, Lucie,” Claire sneered, “I just wanted to see if you were alright. You ran away pretty quickly. Are you worried about Noah finding out that you’ve slept with Logan and Landon?” I felt a knife straight to my gut. If he found me, he would kill me. I could barely think. I tried pushing passed them, but they closed ranks. “I’m sure Declan would be more than willing to help his good friend out, Noah should know if his girlfriend is off being a whore behind his back.” They don’t understand, they think this is just some petty relationship drama. He can’t find me.

  “What do you want from me?” My voice cracked against the quiet of the forest.

  “Stay away from them. You stay away from them after tonight, and Noah won’t have to find out.” I nodded. I loved my guys, but I couldn't risk it. Never again. All I could focus on was breathing. Their shoes filled my vision. Apparently, I had started staring at the ground. “Besides”—Claire chuckled—“pretty sure their family is fucked now, all because of you.” Her voice was condescendingly sweet. My head snapped up to look at her.

  “What the fuck did you do?” I demanded. People like this really exist? These conniving, manipulating, backstabbing...

  “Oh, I just let Hudson know what you and those twins do in your free time,” Brittney added, her soprano voice mimicking Claire’s sickeningly sweet tone. My stomach dropped, but before I could run to make sure the guys hadn't destroyed themselves over something so trivial, a thought occurred to me.

  “So, basically what you’re saying is, Hudson is more concerned with my sex life than he is with you?” My voice was low, menace and anger at the situation laced every word. I couldn’t help the satisfaction I felt at having trumped the plastic bitch. At Brittney’s astonished expression, I pushed through Claire and her to run down the path towards the house.

  As I neared, shouting and the distinct chant of ‘fight’ could be heard. Clearing the trees, I saw a circle of people surrounding an area of the backyard. A few choice words were thrown my way as I elbowed through the crowd to find my guys in the center. Dante was trying to hold back a seething Hudson while Cam and Nik held back equally pissed off twins.

  “Fuck you! How could you think we would ever take advantage of someone like that? Especially her! We’re basically your brothers, you should know us better than that! But no, you’re too busy fucking ignoring your feelings and burying your head between that bitch’s legs to see how you feel about her!” Landon screamed at Hudson.

  “Stop! Just stop it!” I shouted from the edge of the crowd. They continued to strain against the arms holding them. “What the fuck are all of you fighting about? You’re better than this! You’re a family! Pull your heads out of your fucking asses and see what this is doing to you!” Stepping between Hudson and the twins, I turned in a small circle to yell at all of them. Varying expressions of surprise, relief, and anger met me when they realized I was the one screaming at them.

  “Oh, look who it is!” Hudson broke out of Dante’s arms to throw his own out wide. I guess Dante didn’t think he would be much of a threat with me in the middle. “Hey, Lucie, were you going to tell us you fucked them? Or were you just going to make your rounds, princess?” His voice was very slurred, eyes bloodshot as he looked at me. Who the hell does he think he is?

  “I’m only going to say this once, Hudson, so you better be fucking listening,” I stepped up to him until we were almost flush to one another. My harsh tone kept his attention on me. “No one, and I mean no one will ever get to dictate what I can or can’t do with whoever I do or don’t want to do it with. I’m a fucking adult just like you, and you don’t see me picking fights over your fucking bitch of a girlfriend, do you?” The anger and heartache I felt towards him had me shaking, but I pushed on. He needed to hear this as much as I needed to say it.

  “I suggest you keep your judgmental bullshit to yourself in the future and don’t come at them or me again. Quit being such a fucking asshole. You used me, Hudson. Every look, every touch, every time you told me I was beautiful. It was just some weird way for you to one-up the other guys.” Now he stepped back, the look on his face was a mix of horror and guilt. Lowering my voice, I didn't consciously decide to say the next part, but since the Khol game when I realized that’s what he had been doing, it had been bothering me.

  “If anyone has taken advantage of me or my feelings, it was you.” I stepped back, worried that if I continued, my anger would give way to the panic gnawing at me, the memories of the confrontation I’d had with Noah pushing their way forward. “Goodbye, Hudson.” I turned on my heel and walked away from them. The night air chilled the sweat coating my body when the reality of the situation crashed down on me. What have I done?

  17

  October 15th

  Monday Midday

  Lucienne

  Everyone’s conversations and monotonous daily tasks merged to create an almost soothing white noise. The dining hall buzzed with people fluttering in and out. Some of the tables held groups of students who had a lull between classes, while others grabbed something quick through the line before immediately leaving. Staring at nothing in particular, the movements of the room were a blur from my spot in the back corner. I’d been operating on autopilot, going to class while avoiding the guys at all costs. Skipping my power testing, isolating myself in my shared classes, because I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them after that night at the party. Shame, embarrassment, guilt, and fear all swirled through me whenever I saw them.

  Each time I’ve caught a glimpse of my guys, they were separated; the twins on their own, Cam and Nik together, Dante alone, and then Hudson with Brittney. I have no idea if they were trying to work it out, but I couldn’t help but feel responsible even though I hadn’t done anything wrong. Well, I probably could have handled Hudson’s drunk outburst better. I groaned, guilt eating away at my empty stomach. All of them, excluding Hudson, had tried to reach out to me. My heart ached at knowing they wanted to talk things out, but Claire’s threat rang cl
early in my ears. I didn’t want this distance between us, any of us. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do anything about it. Am I being smart...or am I once again allowing an outside force to dictate my life?

  “Miss Lucie, would it be alright if I joined you for lunch?” Startled, I glanced up to find the front desk secretary from the Administration building, Jonathon Reiter, standing in front of my table holding a tray piled with food. I nodded and went back to fiddling with my applesauce. “Is everything alright, Lucie? You didn’t come by the office for your session with Dean Renaud on Friday, and Professor George said you haven’t come to power testing the last couple weeks. Is something going on?” His wobbly voice was soft and kind, not holding judgment.

  I knew the dark circles under my eyes were prominent, my hair was more of a mess than usual, and my clothes were hanging looser on my already thin frame. I hadn’t been sleeping or eating much in the last week. Night terrors and the resulting stomach pains had been taking their toll. Jonathon began eating quietly as I figured out how to respond, the silence was comfortable. I stared at my tray not seeing any of it.

  “I’m just having a rough go of it right now. I’ll be back to my normal schedule this week, Mr. Reiter.” Fatigue bled through my slow response. Wayward tears filled my eyes as I thought about just how abnormal my week would be without my guys around. I had gotten a taste of normality and friendship, and now I craved it more than ever.

  “Lucie, dear, please call me Jonathon.” Unsure of what to say, I stared blankly at the spoon in my hand. His next statement caught me off guard, “I remember when I met the love of my life.” My brows furrowed as I waited, he paused his statement to take another bite. “You remind me of her. She was quiet and withdrawn, but she had this fire within her, you see. She’d had a rough couple of years when we met. But when she stood up, when she fought for herself, when that fire lit, she was unmatched.” Where was he going with this? “I see that ember in you, Lucie. I see the flame behind that quiet, shy outer shell.” Glancing up at him, his gaze was penetrating, as if he could actually see into me. It made me straighten up from the hunched position over my tray, willing the words to be true.