Smoke and Wishes (Best Wishes Book 1)

by A. J. Macey

  “How would you know that?” I questioned, skeptical of his assessment. I’d only begun to fight for myself, and it took being torn to pieces and kicked around. Is it even worth it?

  “I see it in you. I recognize that spine of steel behind that broken spirit. I believe it’s there, Lucie.” He stood once he’d finished the last of his food, moving slowly due to his old age. “Thank you for having lunch with a lonely old man.” He chuckled. As he looked down at me, I saw only warmth and acceptance in his wrinkled face. “You just need to believe that fire is there too, dear.” Those words of advice hung heavy in the air as he turned and hobbled out of the dining hall. The white noise was no longer calming as I sat there. Now it was all-together too loud, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Where do I go from here?

  October 18th

  Thursday Afternoon

  Lucienne

  Head held high, and with a purposeful poise in my stride, I made my way into the power building. Jonathon’s words had stuck with me from our lunch on Monday. I knew the more advanced class would be coming in to do practical work on mental attacks and defenses, allowing powers this time. While I still hadn’t spoken to the guys, my goal today was to talk with Cam, if he was up to it. I hope they don’t hate me.

  The advanced class was already filtering into the auditorium when I arrived. I didn’t see Cam or Hudson initially, so I started towards my seat. I was nearly to my chair when I heard them talking from somewhere behind me. Hudson looked frustrated as he glared at Cam, while Cam just looked exasperated. At least they’re talking, I guess. I sighed. Cam walked away from Hudson, shaking his head. I caught his eye and gave a small wave. Almost instantaneously his face lit up, the wide grin he gave me made my heart melt.

  “Hey, Cam,” I greeted quietly when he reached the seat next to me. “I wanted to apologize for not talking to anyone the last couple of weeks, I just needed some time, I think.”

  “Doll, don’t ever feel like you need to apologize for taking time for yourself. I won’t say I wasn’t worried about you, but I am glad you’re ready to talk now at least.” My heart swelled, I really had missed them so much.

  “How’s everything going?” I asked looking across the auditorium at Hudson, who seemed to be purposely facing the opposite direction.

  “Well, most of us are good. The only ones still struggling are the twins and Hudson. Logan and Landon won’t talk to Hudson until he apologizes, and Hudson is being stubborn. Obviously, he knows he was in the wrong, but he’s avoiding what he needs to do. You would think having emotion-based powers would encourage him not to ignore his own, but who knows.” Shifting his attention from Hudson and back to me, a small smile formed. “I promise, he’ll come to his senses. This isn’t the first time we’ve had a fight nor will it be the last. I don’t want you to think this is your fault, Lucie.” Lowering my head in acceptance of his words, I couldn't help the guilt I still felt.

  “I hope so, but I don’t want to make it any worse. I’ll probably keep my distance for a while longer until he comes back around. I’ll text and stuff, but maybe not come hang out yet, if that’s alright. I’ll talk to the others though, so they know I’m not upset with anyone.” Peeking from under my lashes, I risked a glance at Cam expecting him to be upset. Instead, I only found compassion etched into his features.

  “I completely understand. None of us blame you, Lucie, I promise. It’s just a bump in the road.” The professor chose that moment to address the class, so we weren’t able to continue our conversation. Alex slipped in quietly as Professor Dorsial’s confident voice echoed through the room.

  “Alright, class, we’re going to be working on some attacking and defense. So let’s pair up and work down here on the main floor of the auditorium.” Standing, I followed Cam down the stairs to the front of the room.

  “Lucie, I would like you to work with Mr. Nguyen,” Alex stated calmly as he stared at Hudson with a raised eyebrow, almost daring him to argue. Hudson dipped his head and walked over. Rolling my shoulders, I faced him for the first time since that night. An impassive expression masked almost all emotion except for his eyes. His eyes held a deep sadness; the purple was dull and shadowed, not luminescent and bright. Putting on what I had hoped was a blank expression, I stared into those lavender depths. His words from the party echoed in my mind, but they didn’t sting as much as they had that night. I might still be mad at him, but I nowhere near hated him.

  “I’ll go first,” he stated. His usually warm, baritone voice was rough.

  “Fine by me.” Making sure my mental barrier was holding strong I shifted into a fighting stance. Uncrossing his arms, he reached for the leather pouch situated on his right side. I’d always wondered about the miniature satchel-looking accessory but hadn’t had the chance to ask. Fae dust sprinkled throughout the area we were in after he’d tossed a handful at me. While I knew some of the subspecies of fae, I hadn’t read into their items and powers, so I knew nothing about the glittery substance.

  Unsure of the repercussions, I took a step back. The dust morphed into a thin wall between us. Once it was solid, I felt around for it in my mind wanting to manipulate it with my reality warping. I visualized what I wanted it to do. It folded down in half, then continued to fold in on itself until it was almost nonexistent. Hudson had been distracted by my little show of power allowing me to sneak into his mind; his mental shield was weakened by his tumultuous emotions.

  It was a strange feeling, being in someone else’s mind. The marble flooring was familiar, but it was cracked and dingy looking. The lighting was off too. Unlike in my mind, where there had only been a single beam of illumination, flashes of light were going off intermittently. It reminded me of a thunderstorm almost, brilliant flares of lightning brightened the dim landscape.

  Certain aspects could only be described as solely Hudson. A hanging garden was suspended off to one side while other portions had small sections of forest. Unfortunately, the serenity of the space was ruined by the dark, gloomy storm clouds shifting ominously above the hanging vines and flowers. The areas between the trees and grassy knolls were torn to shreds, books and picture frames had been tossed around, everything was destroyed.

  I shifted from one foot to another, astounded at the disarray and desperation I felt here. The sound of crushing glass reached my ears. Glancing down, I tucked my hair behind my ears to see what I had stepped on. My boot was halfway covering a shattered picture frame. Shifting slightly, a family portrait stared up at me. A young Hudson with his arms around two even younger girls, a man and woman stood behind the three of them. Adoration saturated their features. Even in the gloomy atmosphere of Hudson’s mind, the joy and love on their faces couldn’t be diminished. Footsteps sounded behind me, and even though we were supposed to be working on attacks, I couldn’t bring myself to continue with the lesson.

  “What happened here, Hudson?” My voice was quiet and echoed within the destruction, pulling my attention from the glossy photograph.

  “Like you would care, Lucie,” he huffed, his voice was harsh and cold. My heart ached. How could he think I don’t care? If only he knew just how much. I had an idea as I turned to look at him.

  “I do care, Hudson, about all of you.” Tearing down my mental shield, I projected my emotions to him. All of the sadness, anger, and hurt I had been carrying since our fight. The fear of losing them, the warmth they gave me, and the hope that everything would be okay. I knew I was successful when his eyes widened, the sorrow I saw there was enough to break my heart.

  “I know the point of the exercise is to attack and defend, but it looks like you’re suffering enough all on your own, no help necessary.” Gesturing to the destruction around me, I shook my head. Sympathy ran through me; I hated that he felt the need to avoid anything remotely emotional. Someday, if and when things were better, I vowed to help him through that. As an empath, he should be in tune with his emotions, not against them. I pulled out of his mind before he could say anything.

  O
pening my eyes, the classroom surrounded me. Tears rolled down my cheeks unchecked. Quickly, I wiped them away with my sleeve. Hudson opened his eyes; his face stricken when he looked at me. I turned and grabbed my bag before heading to the door of the auditorium. Cam was busy with another student, and I noticed Alex watching me with a frown on his face. Steeling my spine, I walked over to him.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t at our session last week, but I’ll be there tomorrow.” I gave him a clipped nod and started towards the door before he could respond.

  Landon

  Following Logan into Cam’s dorm, I slammed the door shut behind me. Nik, Dante, and Cam we already situated in the living area, somber expressions on all of their faces. Dante in his standard seat, the first armchair within the room, while Cam took the second instead of his usual rolling office chair. Nik leaned against the wall facing the door and living room, his arms crossed in front of his long-sleeved black shirt with Grigori perched on his shoulder.

  This is honestly the last place I wanted to be right now. I wanted to go to the gym and put this aggression to good use, to get some training in instead of being in this tense stand-off. Obviously, pummeling Hudson to a pulp wouldn't be productive at the moment. But it would make me feel better. Logan sat in our usual spot on the loveseat, but I didn’t join him. I had way too much pent up energy to sit down right now. The last couple weeks have been shit, and I’ve been having a pretty hard time keeping a lid on my Rage.

  “I spoke with Lucie today.” My head whipped around to look at Cam. He was leaned back in his seat, ankles crossed while his arms were resting lazily behind his head. The thick frames of his glasses glinted in the light of the room as he surveyed our reactions. “She’s not upset with any of us, not even Hudson, but she doesn’t think it would be smart for her to come back around all the time until we clear the air between all of us. Have to say, I don't blame her. This has really turned into a shit show.”

  She doesn't hate us. I felt like I could breathe again. Since the party, I’d worried she wouldn't want anything to do with us; we had promised everything would be alright after we had sex and we were wrong. The tightness in my chest eased as my fists loosened. The tension eased from my coiled muscles at the news.

  “Then we need to convince Hudson to deal with his shit sooner rather than later. I hate not having her around. Even when I do see her in class, she’s distant and reserved…” Dante was rubbing the back of his head as he spoke. If the tightness around his eyes and the pursing of his lips was any indication, he was having just as hard of a time as Logan and I were. Nik cleared his throat, bringing me out of my inspection of Dante and back to the conversation.

  “While getting Hudson to come around is important, we should probably discuss the reason behind all of this.” Cam’s words cut through me, the tension seeping back in at his statement. Is this about what happened between us? Because I swear, I will…

  “Khloe, Brittney, and the other two bitches have been giving Lucie a hard time since the beginning of the semester.” It was Dante’s turn to look surprised, pinning Cam with a glare.

  “What are you talking about? As far as I knew, they’d only ever spoken when we were around.”

  “Why? I mean I know they’re all petty as fuck, but why would they start in on Lucie?” I resumed my pacing, biting on one of my knuckles. My blood began to boil the more I thought about those bitches confronting Lucie, her feeling alone, like she couldn’t come to us because of Dante and Hudson’s relationships. “And why the fuck wouldn’t you tell us this was happening? How long have you known?”

  “She did not tell us, either,” Nik growled, his voice surprising me. He was almost always silent, usually only observing. If it weren’t for the power radiating from him, I might forget he was in the room.

  “He’s right; she didn’t. We stumbled upon one of their conversations the other day when we went to check on her in the library. They had confronted her about regretting not staying away from you two. She asked us not to do anything about it. It had only been catty girl drama and empty threats. If they escalated and actually did something to cause problems, then we had her permission to intervene. And since Brittney was the one to tell Hudson about you three...” He trailed off, gesturing loosely in mine and Logan's direction.

  “So, prior to the party, they had been cornering her in the library?” Dante looked queasy, noting the pallor of his face. His normal caramel coloring had a sickly green tint. “Why didn’t she come to us?”

  “Because they’re your girlfriends,” Logan spoke up for the first time since we’d entered the room. Sighing, he ran his hands down his face, placing his palms on his thighs. “She didn’t say anything, to any of us, because she didn’t feel it was her place. Can you blame her?”

  “I can’t believe they would do this. I mean, I know they can be a bit territorial, but I didn’t think they would threaten a friend, and for what? Because she’s female?” Dante exclaimed in disbelief.

  “I can. They’re fucking vindictive bitches. Honestly, I have no idea why either of you are with them to begin with,” I ground out, anger lacing my words. Everyone else seemed to have calmed down. The relief of knowing Lucie wasn’t upset with us evident, but this conversation had only managed to piss me off more. We promised to protect her, to keep her safe, and instead of keeping that promise, she had been feeling isolated and alone.

  “My best guess would be that they took Hudson’s inebriation at the party as the perfect opportunity to plant the seed of betrayal. After that, the alcohol in combination with his powers leaking only intensified his reaction.” Cam removed his glasses to clean the lenses; his hazel eyes were darker than usual against his pale complexion.

  A muffled ding rang out into the pregnant silence of the room, pulling my attention to my phone. The sound of my jeans rustling as I dug it out of my pocket was the only noise to fill the space. My heart squeezed when I saw who it was from, Lucie. Wavering words filled the screen as I realized my eyes were filling quickly with tears. Everyone’s eyes were already on me when I glanced up from the screen. Excusing myself, I stepped into the dorm hallway, closing the door on the hushed conversation that had started up as soon as I started walking. Pushing away the intense emotions filling me, I shot down the stairs two at a time, slamming into the front door of the building. The chilly sting of a quickly approaching cold front dried the last of the unshed tears allowing me to make out Lucie’s text finally.

  Lemon Drop: “Hey Landon, I’m sorry for not talking to you sooner. I just wanted to make sure that we’re ok and everything. I understand if we aren’t. I’ll ttyl.” My stomach dropped as my heart thudded painfully in my chest. Rereading the message a few times to cement the words into my mind, I brought myself to respond in the least sappy way I could manage.

  Landon: “We’re all good lemon drop. I’m glad you reached out, I’ve missed you.” I held my breath and hit send. Realizing I was blocking the door to the building, I followed the concrete path around the side where student traffic was almost nonexistent.

  Lemon Drop: “I’ve missed you too, how has everything been going?” I scoffed thinking back to how bleak and terrible things had been within our group.

  Landon: “Not great, but better now, I was worried about you. Spent a lot of time in the gym with Logan when we weren’t in class.” Rough stone stabbed into my back through the thin material of my shirt as I leaned against the side of the building. The temperature of the stucco cooled my skin, which had grown hot with the urge to use hellfire in my anger.

  Lemon Drop: “I’m really sorry, mine’s been pretty awful too. Skipped power testing and my meetings with Alex, but I’m going tomorrow.” I clenched my jaw knowing full well that she blamed herself for everything that had happened and that she was jeopardizing her studies to avoid any further confrontation.

  Landon: “You don’t need to apologize. This isn’t your fault, alright? Everything will be alright. We’re actually all talking right now. Well, ‘all’ min
us the pissy fae lol. But we’ll handle him lemon drop. I stepped outside to get some air, so I’m going to head back in. Text me later?”

  An involuntary smile curled my lip as I slipped my phone back into my jeans. Goosebumps dotted my skin in the increasing bite of the air. A violent shiver wracked through me as I entered the building. Once again taking the stairs two at a time, I let myself back into Cam and Nik’s dorm. Everyone was still in their seats, but the atmosphere was relaxed, the apprehension from earlier had dissipated entirely after having that much needed discussion.

  “Alright,” I started, my tone cheerier than it had been in weeks. “How can we fix this shit with Hudson?” I looked around the room as I finally took my designated seat next to Logan on the couch.

  “If we can convince Hudson that they were trying to break everyone up, he’ll come out of this. I think the only reason he hasn’t dealt with shit is because Brittney is always around. The man can’t take a piss without her trying to follow,” Logan supplied.

  “I might be able to help with that”—Cam had a thoughtful look on his face—“I could persuade them to tell the truth, so he would have to listen. I would need them all together when their guards are down.”

  “The dance? I know Hudson is going with Brittney, and I’ll go with Khloe to make sure they’re all together. That way I can keep an eye on him. I sure as hell want to know what they're going to try and say to cover their asses.” Dante’s voice was shaking, and his pupils morphed into slits, the muscles on his neck and arms quivering under his urge to shift. I nodded, agreeing that the dance would be the best option. For the next hour, we went over our plan, making sure everything would go off without a hitch and that by the end of the dance, we would have our brother and our girl back.