All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3)

by Fabiola Francisco

  After she calms down, I let her choose what she wants for dinner, and promise her a special dessert, too. We make due with the life we have, but I want her to be happy. After tossing out dinner ideas and getting rejected, Rae finally announces she wants pizza for dinner. Then, she grabs the cake mix in the cupboard and says she wants that for dessert.

  I tie her apron around her and then put on mine before we get to work making pizza dough and mixing the cake ingredients.

  The sound of a knock interrupts our cooking and alerts us of an unannounced visitor.

  “I’ll answer it!” Rae yells and runs to the door.

  “Not without me!” I holler and follow behind her.

  “It’s Jason,” she exclaims after peeking through the window near the door.

  “What?” I screech, quickly twirling my ponytail to make it more presentable as Rae swings the door open.

  “Hi!” Her squeal is deafening.

  “Hey,” Jason laughs. She hugs him, gaining herself a megawatt smile from the handsome man, who showed up at my house unannounced.

  “I made you something.” Rae runs to the drawing—still on the floor—and hands it to him. “It’s a guitar,” she explains before he has a chance to analyze it.

  “I love it. Thanks, Rae Rae.” He musses her hair, causing her to laugh.

  “We’re making pizza and cake for dinner. Do you want to eat with us?”

  “Rae, I’m sure Jason has plans.”

  “Actually,” he looks at me, “I’m free as a bird and hoping you two are as well. I do love homemade pizza and cake.” He winks at me.

  “Awesome.” Rae bounces the short space back into the kitchen. “Mommy was just letting me lick the spoon.” The corners of her mouth are full of chocolate cake and we both laugh at her.

  “I never would’ve guessed,” Jason replies. He looks at me and smiles softly. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” I glance around the house to make sure it’s not too much of a mess. Fortunately, Rae is a pretty neat kid, and the only stuff lying around are her crayons and coloring book.

  “You left your hair tie in my car. I went to the diner, but Joyce told me you were already home.”

  “So you came all the way over here to bring it?”

  He shrugs. “I was already in the neighborhood.”

  “That’s a sorry excuse.”

  “Well, I know how much these things mean to girls.” He holds up the black hair tie. “My sisters used to flip when they would misplace theirs.”

  “Sisters?”

  “Yup, I’ve got two of them, both younger than me.”

  “Oh.” Using a hair tie is a sorry excuse, and I’m sure he knows it. I have more than one, and while I hate losing them, his visit isn’t about a hair tie.

  “So, what can I do? I love cooking.” He rubs his hands together and stands next to Rae, taking instructions from her on how to roll out the dough. I stand, dumbfounded and in disbelief, as I watch them interact. I see why she wants him around. Their bond has been instant. What happens when he moves on with his life and leaves us behind? No way he actually wants a relationship with me.

  We sit at the small, round table in the kitchen with pizza on our plates and a cooling cake on the counter next to the sink. The smell of pizza and sweetness lingers in the air.

  “Do you like the pizza?” Rae asks Jason. Since he’s arrived, I’ve been the background music to the tune these two play.

  “It’s delicious. You’re going to make a great chef one day,” he compliments.

  “Yeah. I want to have my own restaurant like Joyce. Mommy and me can work together.”

  “That would be fun,” I tell her. This is the first time she brings up that dream. She always says she wants to be a baker, but never mentioned owning a restaurant.

  “I’m sure you two would have the most popular place in town. You don’t find pizza like this just anywhere.”

  I look at Jason and smile gratefully. He winks again and takes a bite of his pizza.

  “Rae, use your napkin,” I remind her. She grabs her napkin and runs it across her mouth. Pizza is always messy with her. I giggle as she smiles in victory, but still has a spot of sauce on her cheek. “Here,” I say, and wipe it off.

  “I’m glad you came. Mommy said we wouldn’t see you again, but she was wrong.”

  I shut my eyes and frown. Kids have no filter.

  “I’d like to see you again, but that’s something your mommy and I will talk about. Adults are different than kids.”

  I smile in gratitude at his response, somehow backing up what I told her earlier.

  “That’s what she said.” Rae pushes her plate, leaving the crusts uneaten.

  Once we finish eating, Rae cuts the cake into uneven chunks and I help her serve it on plates.

  “We didn’t have any frosting, but we’ll have some next time,” she hands Jason a plate.

  “This is perfect. Frosting is too sweet sometimes and I like tasting the cake.” He takes a spoonful and says, “Yum. You’re definitely going to be the best baker in town.”

  Rae laughs at his words, but her smile shows me that she is happier than a pig in mud at his compliment. Is this what having a family would be like? We wouldn’t be living in a trailer park, that’s for sure. Should I have searched and told Rae’s father I was pregnant? I wouldn’t have even known where to begin. His face is a blur from that night, no recognition to hold him accountable. Besides, I’ve never believed staying with someone because of a pregnancy was the right choice, especially when you’re strangers.

  “Do you like it?” Rae asks me.

  “Yeah. The cake is delicious. You did good, baby girl.”

  “It’s Rae Rae,” she reminds me. I sigh and Jason laughs. “And you’re Caz,” she points at me. I feel as if no matter what happens, Jason’s memory is already woven into our lives.

  After dinner, Rae colors a little longer while Jason helps me clean up the kitchen.

  “You don’t have to help.”

  “I want to.” Jason stands next to me as I wash the plates and he dries them for me. “I know I kinda showed up here and interrupted your dinner. Sorry about that.”

  “Kinda showed up? More like you did show up,” I tease.

  “Potato, potahto. But, I can’t stop thinking about you. This isn’t a line I grabbed from some cheesy movie. I know, I know, I don’t even know you,” he chuckles when I raise an eyebrow. “But I’ve seen enough to know I want to. I want to help you discover what your dreams are and watch you offer your daughter the best life she can have.”

  “It’s complicated with her around. She already expects to see you everyday, and this is only the third time she’s seen you. I always thought if I ever met someone, and that was a big if, I’d get to know the man really well first, before introducing him to my daughter. This is backwards. It’s almost as if she’s gotten to know you before I have. It’s confusing for her.”

  “So let me get to know you.” He angles his body toward me. “Let me show you who I am. It’s easy with her because she came right up to me, offered me a cookie, and started talking as if I was her best friend. I guess kids are less guarded in that sense.” He casts his eyes down a moment. I place my hand over his.

  “They’ve got it easy, don’t they?” I ask him, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Yup.” Jason continues drying the plate he was working on.

  I’m not the only one with a past.

  Rae falls asleep on the couch after showing us all the drawings she can make and then asking Jason a ton of questions about his guitar. I come back into the living room after laying her down in bed and find that Jason is still sitting comfortably on the couch.

  “Sorry if she asked you way more questions than necessary.”

  “Don’t apologize. I love talking about music. She’s a great girl, Caz.” The use of the nickname Rae and him came up with catches me off guard. I sit next to him, unsure of what to do now. I’ll admit, it’s easier when Rae is around becaus
e I can take a step back and not interact with him as much. Now I have no choice.

  Jason turns toward me. “I know this isn’t how you imagined meeting someone, but give me a chance. I’m not some crazy musician. I’m homegrown and like to keep it that way.”

  “Why?” I fold my hands together and look at him.

  “Because from that first moment I saw you singing one of our songs, I knew there was something about you that I wanted to get to know.” He holds my hand. “I’m old enough to know what I want, but I’ll take my time for the right woman.”

  My throat runs dry. I clear it, staring at him. “I’ve got nothing to offer you.”

  Jason shakes his head. “What I’m looking for isn’t material. You gotta get rid of that self-judgment.”

  “Can we start as friends? That may not be what you have in mind, but I need to go slow, especially for Rae’s sake. She’s already attached to you and she just met you.”

  “Well, we bonded a lot yesterday while you worked.”

  “I know.” My breath slips from my lips.

  “You’re right, I’m interested in more, but I’m willing to get to know you without the pressure of that.”

  I nod, seeing a gentle side to him that I’ve missed before.

  “So, where are you from?” he starts off the conversation.

  “Pleasant View, not too far from here. Are you from Nashville?”

  “Yeah. I’ve lived here my whole life, except for my four years of college when I lived in Knoxville. That’s where I met Cash.”

  “That’s really cool. I moved here after my twenty-first birthday. I was pregnant with Rae and got hired at the diner immediately. Joyce didn’t care that I would have to go on maternity leave, she just wanted to help me.”

  “You look younger than twenty-eight.”

  “You’re quick at math,” I counter.

  Jason shrugs. “I majored in accounting.”

  “Did you really?” I ask, surprised.

  “Yup. Helped a lot in the beginning with the band, before we got signed with the label.”

  “I’m sure it did.”

  “Do your parents still live in Pleasant View?”

  “Yeah.” I swallow the lump in my throat and go for it, ready for the judgment. “My parents are older. I was a miracle child since they were never able to conceive. They raised me as best they could and loved me, but right before I graduated high school my mom got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

  “It was a shock to all of us. The symptoms were there, and my dad and I recognized them after we got the news. I got a job at a bar and my dad worked as hard as he could. When he wasn’t at work, he was taking care of my mom. I’d watch her while he worked during the day, and I’d leave at night to work at the bar.” I rush through the facts.

  “I’m sorry about your mom.” He squeezes my fingers.

  “That’s life. When I found out I was pregnant, I moved out. I couldn’t add more stress to my dad.”

  “What about Rae’s father?”

  I shake my head. “He doesn’t know about her. It was a one-night-stand. Not my proudest moment, but I would never regret having her. She’s the best thing I’ve done in this life.” It’s a challenge to look him in the eyes as I tell him this, but if he wants to know me, then this is part of who I am. I rather lay it out all in the open and let him decide if he truly wants to spend time with me.

  “Anyway, what about you? You said you have two sisters.”

  “I do. They’re younger than me. They used to drive me crazy when we were growing up, but I love them. My parents are divorced, but they have a good relationship. My mom got remarried while I was in college. We’re all pretty low-key, honestly.”

  “Besides the fact that you’re part of a famous band,” I chuckle.

  “That’s my career, and yeah, it’s different than had I been an accountant, but it’s only part of who I am. I love what I do, and my bandmates are my brothers, but at the end of the day, I’m just Jason Stone. I’m a regular guy who likes college football way too much, and playing the guitar on my downtime.”

  “Do you write the songs on your albums?”

  “Not really. Cash is the biggest songwriter. There’s something inside of him that causes him to spit out songs by the dozen. I don’t know how he does it. Cole recently wrote a song that’s a bonus track on our album for his girlfriend, Bri. Ryder and I give out ideas, but we’re better at brainstorming than actual writing. We can all sing, though.”

  “That’s cool. How long have you been playing?”

  “Since I was a kid. I always dreamed of being a musician, but that’s not an easy goal to achieve. I played on and off with some random bands when they needed a bass player during high school and some in college until Cash told me he wanted to start a band.”

  “Accounting was your back-up plan? They’re such different career choices.”

  “They are, but I like math and I’m good at it.”

  “I never went to college,” I get that information out of the way. “I’m not even sure what I would’ve studied. I always liked history, but I never pegged that as a career. The only thing I could do with that is teach, and teaching was never something I was passionate about.”

  “Was there ever a career that felt impossible, but you would’ve liked? How music was for me, and I got blessed to be able to make it happen.”

  “I guess archaeology. It sounds dorky, but I’d love to travel the world digging up old artifacts.”

  “Like a sexy, female version of Indiana Jones.”

  I laugh at the absurdity of that. “Not quite.”

  Jason cups my cheek and smiles. “I feel like you’re finally loosening up.”

  I freeze and wait, wondering if he’s going to kiss me or just hold me. His thumb rubs my cheek and he releases my face and holds my hand again. “Where would you like to excavate?”

  “Somewhere in Europe or Africa. There’s so much history there, ancient civilizations that are yet to be discovered or pieced together.”

  “You do have dreams. You just needed to relax a bit to rediscover them.” He leans back on the couch with a triumphant smile.

  A yawn interrupts the smile covering my face. “Sorry,” I say as I cover my mouth.

  “You’re tired. I’ll get going, but I’m glad I came by. Thanks for letting me crash your dinner. I like you, Caz. We can be friends, but I’m definitely hoping that builds the foundation for a lot more.”

  Speechless, I walk him to the door. Jason kisses me on the cheek and promises to be in touch this week. I have no idea how since he doesn’t have a way of contacting me. Apparently, he likes showing up in places instead of calling.

  I’ve had Cassidy Rae on my mind all day. From the songs we worked on, to the proofs from the photo shoot we received, she’s been on my mind. The songs make me think of her, the kinda romance I want. The photos had me wondering if she’d like them. If she’d have a favorite.

  I’ve only seen her three times—two of those times can actually be called interaction—and I already have this feeling. God, when did I become a romantic like Cash? A part of me was always like that. I wasn’t ready to settle down before now, I guess. The women I’d meet all had an agenda. A quick fuck with the Rebel Desire band member. Being the only single one left leaves me as a more open target for bullshit.

  “Hey, you going home or to Bri’s tonight?” I ask Cole.

  “Going home. What’s up?”

  “Wanna grab a beer?”

  “Fuck. Yeah. Is everything okay?”

  I’ve known Cole the longest, and being roommates adds more to our friendship. When he first started making rounds on Bri, I gave him shit for it and told him to back off. Now I’m making rounds on another woman, and although their situations are different, their guard might be similar. I’m prepared for him to give me the same advice I gave him, but keeping hope that love has changed him.

  “Yeah, just wanna talk about something.”

  “Let’s go to Tap
for beers,” Cole suggests.

  The drive to Tap has me wondering what the hell I’m even going to talk to Cole about. Seems like all four of us are hooked on the women we want. The only problem is that I met Cassidy Rae a few days ago. No way can I be hooked on her, yet. There is something about her simplicity, her heart, that shines around her like the aura my sisters are always talking about. Maybe I should talk to them instead.

  I park my car in the lot near Tap and meet Cole at the entrance, both clad in caps.

  “What’s going on?” Cole asks once we have pints of beer in hand.

  “I met someone.” Cole cocks an eyebrow. “It’s complicated, though.”

  He chuckles and takes a drink of beer. “When’s it not?”

  “No, this is real complicated. Almost Bri complicated.”

  That stops Cole. He tilts his head and asks, “Who is she?”

  I shake my head. “You don’t know her. I met her by coincidence. Although, I’m starting to think there was some kind of divine intervention.”

  “What makes it complicated?”

  “Brother, you have no idea. That day you and Bri went to Pinewood Social, I went out for a jog. I was so in my head thinking about Christie that I somehow ended on the wrong side of town. I found a nearby diner on my phone and jogged over for some water and to figure out where the hell I was. This waitress was cute, humming one of our songs. When she realized who I was, she blanched, but then kept my secret. After pancakes and fresh OJ, I knew her name based on her nametag and that’s it.

  “I couldn’t get her out of my mind, so I looked up the diner and drove over one morning before work. I’ve been showing up randomly since then, driving her home. We had dinner the other night, and the following night I showed up at her place with the sorry ass excuse she left her hair tie in my car. She was making dinner and I stayed.” I breathe heavily.

  “Okay. Why is it complicated?” Cole furrows his eyebrows.

  “She has a kid.”

  “Fuck, bro.” He runs his hand up and down his face.

  “I know, I know, but she’s not like that.”