Deepest Desire

by Weston Parker

  "Okay," I whispered and swallowed a thousand regrets. I needed to have him just take me back to my place. I didn't need another night with him to remember when he finally followed through with his threats.

  I turned to face him and watched him until the world faded around me and darkness crept in to take me under. I could have sworn I heard him say that he was falling in love with me before I passed out, but maybe it was part of the fantasy I lived in my head.

  Shit like that only happened in books.

  Chapter 19

  Erik

  "Come here, Kitten. Wrap your arms around me, okay?" I reached down and got her out of the car, ignoring how fucking good she looked in her tight silky top and short skirt. What the hell had she been thinking going out to the club like that?

  There was no way in hell a million men weren't going to hit on her, and it wasn't the one that offered her a drink that bothered me so much. It was the bastard waiting in the dark to snatch her up and use her sweet body all night for his pleasure.

  I ignored the fact that I was very much that bastard in most aspects.

  "Almost there." I turned and bent my knees to type the code into the panel on the front door before pushing the door open and walking into my place.

  Grace felt good in my arms, right. She curled up and snuggled against me, making a soft sound of satisfaction.

  I walked to the back bedroom and laid her down, taking off her boots and socks and tucking her into my sheets. It took everything inside of me to walk to the door and not strip her down and wake her up. I wanted to make love. To feel what the fuck it felt like. Just once in my life. Was it different from fucking?

  It had to be. It was in the books.

  I walked out into the living room and ran my hands through my hair as my insides ached. My father was right about her. She was a good woman. The best.

  After making myself a quick sandwich, I dropped down on my couch and leaned back, letting the conversation with Cole and Nate run through my head. The bastard was only watching out for me. Both of them were. Fuck, all of them were.

  "What choice did I have?" Cole leaned toward me menacingly.

  "You better back up, mother fucker." I took the last step between us, pressing my chest to his and growling.

  "Hey, guys. Fuck. Come on." Nate pulled us apart. "Cole wanted in and now he's in. You know as well as I do that being part of this shit doesn't mean he listens to you or me. He belongs to your old man like the rest of us do."

  "Why would my father have you watching me like I'm a goddamn fifteen-year-old kid?" I barked and put my finger in Cole's chest.

  "Because you're acting like one." He swatted my hand away and narrowed his eyes. "Grow the fuck up. Women come and they go. This one is no different unless you make it this way."

  "This is none of your goddamn business, cop."

  "Erik." Nate moved in front of me. "You're not a hired hand, dude. You're not a disposable asset that can be replaced. You're the next Don after your father. The old man protects his shit like no one I've ever seen. Why the hell wouldn't he protect you?"

  He had a point, and yet being a grown man and having another man trail me left me on edge.

  "Stay outta my shit." I pointed to Cole and turned to walk back toward the club. Grace was inside, and even if it was my last night with her, I was getting in her panties one more time.

  "Grow up and I will."

  Bastard. He was lucky he had my father's protection. I reached for my gun and laid it on the couch beside me. The sound of Grace crying out had me on my feet. I jogged to the bedroom to find her on her back, her beautiful face contorted.

  "Hey. It's just a dream." I dropped down beside her and wrapped my arms around her.

  She blinked a few times, lost in a haze from what I could tell. Her bottom lip poked out, and my heart broke in half. I was in love with her.

  "It was horrible," she cried.

  "What was, baby?" I pressed my chest to hers and kissed the side of her neck, taking in the sweet smell of her perfume as my body hardened.

  "We were finally married, but you didn't want me anymore." A sob lifted out of her, and I hated myself. "You didn't love me anymore."

  I squeezed her tightly and kissed her ear. "It's just a dream. Let it go."

  "Don't leave me. Please." She gripped the back of my t-shirt and continued to cry against my neck.

  After she calmed down a little, I shifted and laid down in the bed with her. She curled up against my chest as we laid on our sides and fell back to sleep.

  I laid there for hours, running my fingers through her hair, memorizing the sweet curve of her hip, the long line of her thigh, the way she whimpered when she slept.

  Fuck me for wanting a normal life. The only way to get it was to kill my father, which wasn't happening. I loved the old man and still respected him. He was all I had left of my mom and Delaney. Grace would find another man. One worthy of her time, her attention, her body.

  ***

  I woke in a cold sweat, Grace having turned from me sometime during the night and curled up. I was pressed to her back; my erection tucked between the soft curve of her ass. She'd taken off her clothes sometime during the night… or I had.

  "Shit," I mumbled and reached down to run my hand down her side until I found the soft junction between her thighs. "You awake, Kitten?"

  She mumbled and rolled her hips, waking me up farther. "Erik?"

  "Yeah, baby." I reached down and gripped my cock, lifting a little to press into her silky opening. My body lit on fire as I worked myself deep inside of her. The flood of lubrication that dripped down my shaft and covered the bed below us had me panting with need.

  "Make love to me," she whispered and lifted her top leg as she groaned with each slow thrust.

  "I don't know how." I reached up and brushed her hair out of the way before leaning over and kissing the back of her neck as I rocked in and out of her tightness. I kept my hand between her legs, rubbing her swollen clit in rhythm with my thrusts.

  "I'm gonna come." She arched her back and cried out, but I kept my speed steady, my fingers pressed tightly to her as she rode out her release.

  "I can feel you contracting, your body milking mine, Grace. Such a bad girl." I licked up the long line of her neck and tugged on her clit carefully. "Come again for me."

  "I want to."

  Rolling her onto her stomach, I crawled on top of her and sat up, straddling the back of her thighs as I ran my dick down her ass and pressed back into her heat. She groaned loudly, and I collapsed against her, wanting to feel her skin pressed tightly to mine.

  I wedged my fingers between her and the bed, locking onto her hips and using my grasp to pull myself in deeper. She lifted her ass a little, and I bumped against her, fully tucked in her tightness.

  "Fuck, baby." I ran one hand up her side and reached up to move her hair again before pressing my teeth into the top of her shoulder as I fucked her with long, hard strokes. The feeling of her soft ass bouncing against my stomach caused my nuts to tighten. I needed to get a rubber, but I wasn't fucking moving an inch away from her.

  "I love the way you fuck me." She tensed and came again, pulling and tugging at my dick so hard that I had no choice but to fly over the edge with her.

  I moaned against the back of her neck and wrapped her in a tight hug from behind, my hands touching every place I could until my high wound down.

  "God, you're perfect." I kissed her again and rolled onto my back, panting loudly. "I gotta head down to the city soon. I have a hit this morning."

  "A hit?" She rolled onto her side and pushed her hair back. I'd never seen anything so fucking beautiful before.

  "I murder people for a living, remember?" I reached out and brushed my thumb by her lips as she shivered.

  "Don't talk about it so casually. Please?" She reached out and ran her hand over my chest before stroking my cock. "I like to think you're a bad boy with a mystery job."

  I chuckled and gripped her hand.
"I'm a killer. You know this."

  She nodded and moved to get up. "Did I throw up last night?"

  "You sure did, Kitten." I stretched my arms above my head and watched her walk to the bathroom, her ass beyond enticing. "You ever been fucked in the ass, Grace?"

  "What?" She turned and gave me an odd look. "I was a virgin before we met."

  "Yeah, that doesn't mean much." I sat up and laughed as she flipped me off and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door.

  How the hell was I ever going to give her up?

  I waited until the sound of the shower filled the room to sneak into the bathroom and join her.

  "Hi." She turned and smiled. "Don't you look like heaven."

  "Do I?" I reached for the soap, running my hands over it as she wrapped me in a hug and pulled me down for a long kiss. I'd never been intimate with a woman beyond a quick fuck in the bed or a car. This almost felt a little too much like love.

  I was supposed to be walking away, and yet I was dreaming of houses and kids together, letting her sleep in my bed and holding her hair while she vomited. Something had to give, but for the first time in my long life, I wasn't able to force myself to do anything.

  Maybe Cole was a Godsend. Maybe he would scare her away from me.

  She grabbed the soap from me and moved to her knees as I reached up and adjusted the head of the shower, forcing it to pour hot water down my chest.

  "What are you thinking about?" She reached up and ran her hands around my cock, soaping me up and stroking me while water dripped down her breasts.

  "Fucking you again." I reached down and ran my hand over her hair. "You know this isn't good for us." I brushed my thumb down her cheek and over her lips as she sucked it deep into her mouth and moved up on her knees.

  A groan left me as my legs shook. The type of pleasure I experienced with her was like nothing I'd ever imagined possible.

  "I don't care what's good for us." She moved back and let the water wash me clean as she continued to run her soft fingers over my cock. It grew hard under her touch, and I reached for her, pulling her closer.

  "Right now, I don't either. Suck me off."

  "You're so dirty." She laughed and ran her tongue up my length as I cupped the sides of her face with both hands and slipped my dick into her waiting mouth.

  "No, angel. I'm just straight forward. If I were dirty, I'd have you bent over in this shower, soaping up my dick so it'd slip right into your tight ass."

  She mumbled something, and I laughed, falling more in love with her as her expression tightened. She started to pull back, but I held her in place, rolling my hips and giving her a little more than she could handle.

  "Shh... stop trying to talk with your mouth full." I licked my lips and gripped her hair tightly with one hand while reaching up and pressing my free one to the shower. She knew what she was doing, or she was damn good at figuring it out.

  Chapter 20

  Grace

  "Come with me today. See what I do, Grace. If you still want me after that, then we'll figure something out." Erik moved up behind me in the kitchen and wrapped his strong arms around my waist.

  "No. I can't be a part of that." I cracked an egg into the skillet in front of me. "You know that already."

  "Then this is goodbye?" He leaned down and kissed the side of my neck. "I can't run from this life. It'll find me and put a bullet in the back of my head."

  I turned to face him, running my hands up his thick chest. "Would you be willing to run from it?"

  His expression darkened a little. "I don't know honestly. My father's lost so much already."

  "Your Mom and sister?" I wanted to dig, but I just stood there quietly in his arms, trying to offer support by not asking questions.

  "Yeah." He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. "You said last night that you were scared of something your brother was involved in and Cole messing with you. I'll talk with Cole about laying off, but he's my father's latest lap dog from what I gather."

  "What? He's a cop." I pulled away from him and turned back to making breakfast. "Why would he be helping your father?"

  He chuckled and moved to sit on the counter next to me. "The mafia always has lap dogs in the police force, Grace. It's part of the deal. They keep us covered."

  "That's fucked up." I shook my head, feeling so incredibly naive.

  "Maybe." He reached over and ran his hand down the back of my hair. "And your brother?"

  I hesitated, though I didn't know why. If Erik cared about me, then he would help me figure out what my brother got his ass into, but I really wanted to hear back from Jenna first.

  "My brother?" I smirked. "He's just being a spaz lately. Did I really bring him up last night? I must have been drunk."

  "You were pretty wasted, but it was nice." He jumped down and pressed himself against my back. "You let me in your ass. It was hot."

  "What?" I turned and pushed him back. "I did not!"

  "You did. It was super loose too. Did you take a big shit or were you lying about me being your first?"

  I slapped him in the chest with the greasy spatula. "Liar. I'd feel it this morning."

  He grabbed his cock. "Damn right you would. You'll be limping for weeks when we get to that point."

  I turned and hid my smile from him. I didn't care how wishy-washy he was. I'd take every ounce of time I could get with him. I was interested in making sure that we would have one more encounter a million times.

  Just one more night. One more touch. One more.

  "You sure you have to go?" I called out.

  His voice was muffled as if he were down the hall. "Yeah. I'll find you later, but make sure you watch out for Cole. He's reporting back to my father."

  "And your Dad isn't okay with us being together?" I plated his eggs and turned to face him, extending the plate.

  "No, and you cooking for me is a little much." He winked, grabbed his black leather jacket and walked toward the door. "I told you. He lost my mom and sister. He's not willing to let that happen to me." He opened the door and paused to look back at me. "Don't be here when I get back."

  "Or?" I tilted my head to the side.

  "Or no dick for you."

  "For how long?" I dipped my fingers in the butter on my plate and licked it seductively. "Because you've turned me into a nymph. Someone has to service me. If not you, then who? Cole?"

  "Grace." His tone darkened. "Don't play games with me. You'll end up with blood on your hands, and you won't like me anymore."

  "I was teasing." I huffed.

  "Well, don't, Kitten. Be gone when I get back and take care of yourself, hm?"

  "So, this is it?" I set the plate down and walked toward him, loving the way he hovered in the doorway. He didn't want to go either.

  "Yeah. This is it." He reached for me and pulled me tightly against him before leaning down and kissing me so hard it hurt. "I'll be watching from the sidelines."

  "And beating up everyone I go out with from now on?" I smiled though tears burned my eyes.

  "No. You're no longer mine, Grace. Just don't lean on Cole. That shit doesn't work at all. Find you a good man. A librarian." He kissed the tip of my nose again as a tear rolled down my face. "And if I can get away for a night... it'll be spent with you. I promise."

  "There will come a day when I'm in love, and I won't accept you anymore. Not even for a night." I was pushing my luck, but he had to know it was the truth.

  "And I’ll respect that when it happens." He pulled back, turning and walked out the door.

  I closed it and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing my plate and sitting down at the table by the biggest window. The sun felt good on my skin, reminding me that things were over between us. I wasn't looking to settle down for a while, and being in his arms, even as his whore felt good enough to let it continue for as long as I could manage it. For as long as he would let me.

  A peace settled over me that made very little sense, but I relaxed into it. Whatever happened w
ith Erik and me was outside of my control. Where it should have left me tied in knots, it didn't.

  I finished my breakfast and did the one thing I probably shouldn't have. I snooped around his place, opening drawers, checking in cabinets. The only thing out of place from a normal bachelor's pad was all of the weapons, but knowing what I did about him, those didn't surprise me too much.

  The box of pictures under his bed stopped me in my tracks though. There must have been three thousand of them.

  I settled on the floor beside the bed and looked at each one, smiling, laughing, crying for the next hour. There were so many of him and his sister, each of them showing just how close they were.

  The pictures of him and Nate were my favorite. The smiles on their young faces, the innocence that he no longer had. I fell even further in love with him which wasn't good, but I couldn't help myself.

  The boy with a playful grin and adventure in his eyes still existed. I saw him every time we had sex. I brushed my fingers over a picture of him with his sister and what looked to be his Mom and Dad.

  Sadness filled my chest as I stood and took the picture with me. Erik's father looked so much like him it was uncanny. His handsome face covered with a dark five o'clock shadow, his lips full and sexy, his expression tight and hiding some dark secret.

  And the picture was before he lost his wife and kids. I could only imagine what he looked like afterward.

  I finished cleaning up and grabbed my phone to call an Uber as it rang. Thomas. Good, I could get him to come get me.

  "Where are you?" I answered the phone.

  "Grace. I'm pretty sure I'm next." He was crying. Hard. My brother never cried.

  "What the hell are you talking about, Thomas? Where are you?" Panic raced through me. I didn't have a car, and of course, Erik took his and left his motorcycle at the house. There was no way for me to get to my brother.

  "I'm at your apartment. I let myself in. I hope that's okay."