A Talent for Surrender

by Madeline Bastinado

  Heat and excitement boiled in his gut like lava. He was panting like a steam train. He was going to come. He shortened his strokes and Sarah followed suit. She sucked on his cock, tightening her mouth around it and Dan let out an involuntary grunt of pleasure and surprise. She pulled softly on his scrotum.

  He fucked her face in short urgent strokes. Icy shivers slid along his spine. The tension burst. He gave a final deep thrust and arched his back. He began to howl in triumph and release.

  He was coming in her mouth, pumping out streams of hot sperm. She swallowed it all, making soft little murmurs of satisfaction and pleasure. It kept on coming, like a tidal wave, knocking the breath out of him and making his knees wobble.

  His fingers gripped her hair, pressing her face against his throbbing cock. He howled out his pleasure and relief, head thrown back and eyes closed. When it was finally over he looked down at Sarah and smiled. He stroked her hair.

  She gave his softening cock a final reluctant kiss and released it. ‘Well, now, you were a horny boy.’ She sat back on her heels and looked up at him. ‘And you seem to have had a shave. I can’t help feeling there’s something you’re not telling me . . .’

  Ten

  A week later Dan and the crew went with Hellfire 2000 to a party thrown by the artist Jude Ryan to celebrate her new exhibition. Dan did a piece to camera and wandered around the gallery looking at the sexually explicit exhibits. He found himself particularly drawn to the sculptures. Mostly they featured naked men and women in chains, cuffs or ropes.

  There was a life-size bronze of a naked woman on all fours, her head raised as if gazing into the eyes of her lover. Her breasts hung beneath her, nipples erect, and it was obvious to Dan that her chest was heaving with excitement. He bent down and put his face inches from hers. He almost expected to feel her hot breath on his skin.

  ‘Do you like it? It’s called “Surrender”. It’s one of my particular favourites.’ She held out her hand. ‘I’m Jude Ryan.’

  Dan looked up and saw a tall woman with long dark hair. ‘Yes . . . yes. I do.’ She was wearing a simple red dress that emphasised her curves. He got to his feet and only then did he notice that she was holding a slender black leash at the end of which knelt a man who was gazing up at her with exactly the same look of adoration as the sculpture. He shook her hand. ‘She looks almost real. How do you do that?’

  She laughed. ‘That’s where the talent comes in. Though the three years at art college helps too. Apparently you’re going to interview me later. I’m looking forward to it.’

  ‘Me too.’ He noticed that she had striking eyes. They seemed full of life and humour. They were compelling and hypnotic.

  ‘But, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to move on. I’ve just spotted the art critic from London Now and I ought to butter him up.’ She smiled at Dan and turned away.

  Dan watched her walk across the room with the young man following at her heels. From the ease with which he moved on hands and knees Dan thought he must have had plenty of practice.

  He left Dave, Rick and Dennis to get some shots of the partygoers while he went off to the buffet. He’d loaded up his plate and was looking around for somewhere to sit when he heard a familiar voice.

  ‘If I didn’t know better I’d think you were stalking me.’

  ‘Jo.’ He turned to look at her. ‘I could say the same of you.’

  Jo picked up a morsel from the buffet table and popped it into her mouth. She was wearing a black dress with a fitted bodice and a sweetheart neckline. Around her throat was a simple black ribbon and her hair had been swept up and twisted into a French pleat. Her skin was pale and flawless and Dan thought her décolleté looked as though it had been dusted with iridescent powder. Her lips were glossy and red.

  Jo shrugged and smiled enigmatically. ‘I’m here because of Sam. She and Jude Ryan are old friends. Do you like her work?’ She tapped her fingernails against her wineglass.

  ‘I didn’t know it until today but yes, I do. It’s very . . . powerful.’

  ‘And so is she. Have you met?’

  ‘Only briefly but I’m supposed to be interviewing her later. I’m looking forward to it.’

  ‘And did you meet Michael?’ Jo smiled and Dan thought he could see a playful glint in her green eyes.

  ‘Is that the man who was kneeling at her feet at the end of a lead? She didn’t introduce us.’

  ‘Yes, that’s him. He’s an artist too.’

  ‘Really? I didn’t know that.’

  ‘He used to be famous for graphic images of men dominating women. Quite cold actually . . . I always thought there was something hard and soulless about them. Unlike Jude’s work . . . there’s something quite moving and . . . I don’t know . . . tender about her art. But Michael’s work totally changed when he met Jude.’

  ‘That sounds intriguing. What does he do now?’

  ‘Exactly the opposite. He’s got an exhibition coming up, you should go. He creates beautiful heartbreaking images of submissive men surrendering to powerful beautiful women. They’re quite something.’ She leaned in close. ‘As a matter of fact I’ve got one of his sculptures in my bedroom.’

  ‘I see.’ He lowered his voice. ‘And do you find it inspirational?’

  Jo laughed. ‘Still trying to get me to admit to being kinky, I see.’

  ‘You can hardly blame me for trying. Are you saying Michael was dominant before he met Judge?’

  She nodded. ‘He was famous for it.’

  ‘But, surely, we know our own natures. It’s not possible to change from one extreme to its opposite just like that. He must have been submissive all along.’

  Jo shrugged. ‘That’s certainly what Jude believes. He was always submissive, he just didn’t know it until he met her and she unlocked that part of him.’ She sipped her drink, never taking her eyes off him.

  Dan leaned in close. ‘And what do you think?’ He could smell her perfume and feel the heat rising from her skin.

  Jo looked at him silently, her beautiful lips curved into a smile but her brow creased by a frown. Finally, she spoke. ‘I’m a chameleon. I spend my days being competent and professional and my evenings putting myself into my characters’ heads. I think we are all capable of feeling and believing an infinite variety of things. What we are is fluid not fixed.’ She paused to sip her wine.

  ‘With certain people, or in certain circumstances, we may be one way yet another person brings out something completely different in us. A dominant powerful woman may meet a man who she longs to kneel before even though she’s never felt that way about another soul. It’s how the two of them connect.’ She was smiling as she spoke and her cheeks glowed pink.

  ‘That’s interesting.’ Dan couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  ‘Haven’t you ever had a partner with a particular sexual interest which you’d never considered? It might be spanking, or sodomy, or dressing up. You go along with it because you don’t feel strongly either way and you want to please her and much to your surprise you turn out to love it and you want to do it from then on, with other partners.’ She looked into his eyes, waiting for an answer, and Dan felt a slow slither of pleasure slide along his spine.

  He nodded. ‘Yes, I have, as a matter of fact. I have a lover who likes her nipples abused and, at first, I was frightened of doing it but now I love it. She bucks underneath me like a volcano and I love being able to let go – to not worry about hurting her or going too far. It’s a special and intense thing between us and I’d be sorry if it had to stop.’

  ‘There you are then. And, perhaps, when you’ve had your session with Sadie you’ll discover a few more things about yourself that you didn’t know.’

  ‘As a matter of fact I’ve already had it.’

  ‘Really? I’d really like to know what you thought of it.’ She swirled the wine in her glass. ‘But if you think it’s too personal, I’ll completely understand.’

  ‘No, no . . . I’d love to talk about it. How about if you
come to dinner at my house. Shall we say Friday at eight?’

  ‘Yes, I’d like that. Thank you.’

  ‘And perhaps you’ll finally put me out of my misery about whether or not you’re kinky. After our dinner the other night I realised that we’d barely even spoken about you.’

  Jo laughed. ‘I promise you I’m not being deliberately mysterious. I tell you what . . . I’ll give you twenty questions on Friday. I’ll even play truth, if you like. I’ve nothing to hide.’

  ‘Really? That’s not how it seems.’

  Jo shrugged. ‘You just haven’t asked me the right questions yet. But you’re an investigative reporter. There’s plenty of time before Friday for you to come up with a suitable list. You can probe as hard as you like. I always enjoy a good grilling.’

  Dan opened his mouth to speak but Jo interrupted. She laid a hand on his arm. ‘I’ve got to go, I’m afraid. I’ve got another appointment and I don’t want to be late. See you on Friday.’ She squeezed his arm and walked away.

  Dan walked down the hall to answer the doorbell. At the bottom of the stairs he paused and looked at himself in the full-length mirror. He’d dressed simply in black jeans and a plain long-sleeved T-shirt. He’d shaved for the second time that day and his hair was still slightly damp from the shower. It looked wavy and unruly. He ran his fingers through it, pushing it back off his face.

  The bell rang again and he hurried down the hall and opened the door. ‘Jo. Sorry to keep you waiting.’

  He held the door open and she stepped inside. She was wearing a black silk shift dress printed with enormous scarlet daisies. It scooped low in the front and Dan could see the top of her breasts and the dark hollow between them.

  ‘No problem. I wouldn’t want to interrupt an alpha male’s grooming ritual.’

  The hall was narrow so that their bodies were practically touching. She looked up at him. Dan felt his cheeks colouring. He closed the door.

  ‘You saw me looking in the mirror?’ He felt foolish and wrong-footed and not for the first time in her company. The quivery feeling of disquiet beneath his ribs was beginning to feel like an old friend.

  She nodded. ‘But don’t worry. I take it as a compliment.’ She sniffed the air. ‘And is that Antaeus I smell? You’ve obviously made an effort. Does that indicate an eagerness to please, do you think?’

  He laughed. ‘You’re suggesting I have a submissive nature? You’re not the first woman to bring it up, actually. Come through to the kitchen. We can have a glass of wine while I prepare the starter. It’s this way.’ He walked towards the kitchen.

  ‘Sure. What are we having?’ Jo followed him down the hall. Her high heels clip-clopped noisily against the wooden floor.

  ‘Nothing fancy. Chilli and garlic prawns to start and fillet steak and salad to follow. Sit down and I’ll open the wine.’ He pulled out a chair and Jo sat down.

  They enjoyed a relaxed meal at the kitchen table. Jo cleared away the plates from their first course while Dan prepared the steaks. He could feel her eyes on him as he cooked and he could feel the fine hairs on the back of his neck growing erect.

  She was funny and sharp and disarmingly honest and Dan found himself stealing furtive glances at her like a fourteen-year-old with a crush on his teacher. He was fairly certain that she’d noticed, though she didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he thought he’d noticed a look in her eyes, and a slight difference to the way she carried herself; as if she was fully aware of his admiration and accepted it as her due right.

  ‘This crème brûlée is delicious. I love it but I always think it’s too fiddly to make yourself.’ Jo ate a mouthful of her dessert.

  ‘I can’t claim any credit, I’m afraid. Marks and Spencer’s.’ Dan noticed that she narrowed her eyes in pleasure when she ate.

  ‘Really? Well, you’d never be able to tell.’ She scooped up the last spoonful and ate it slowly. ‘I could easily eat another one.’

  ‘I only bought two. But you’re welcome to the rest of mine.’ Dan slid his half-eaten dessert across the table.

  ‘Why don’t we share it?’ She cracked the crisp sugar with her spoon and dipped it into the creamy custard beneath. She brought the loaded spoon to her lips and sucked it clean, never taking her eyes off Dan.

  She filled the spoon again and held it out for him. He leaned forwards and wrapped his hand around hers and pulled it to his lips. He sucked the crème brûlée off the spoon.

  After the meal, Dan carried their coffee through to the living room on a tray. Jo sat on the sofa with her legs crossed at the knee. Dan followed the curve of her calf with his eyes all the way down to her narrow ankle. Her stockings were black and sheer. They glistened softly in the light. Her instep was high and curved and he could just see a hint of the top of her toes.

  He picked up his coffee and sat back. When he looked at Jo the expression in his eyes instantly told him that she knew he’d been admiring her legs. He shrugged and smiled.

  ‘I’ve been on tenterhooks all evening waiting to hear about your session with Sadie.’

  ‘Ah yes . . .’ Dan smiled. ‘It was extremely memorable.’

  ‘But in a good way, I hope?’

  ‘Yes, I think so.’ He put his cup down on the coffee table. ‘I don’t think I’d admit this to another living soul but I found it all incredibly intense and erotic even though – and this is the strange part – it was also totally humiliating. In some ways I felt utterly powerless and emasculated, yet at the same time it was totally liberating and exciting. Do you know what I mean?’ He was conscious of Jo’s eyes on his face.

  She nodded slowly. ‘Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.’

  ‘I don’t understand it, really, but somehow the whole experience has made me feel sort of liberated and fearless. I didn’t have to worry about my performance, or her responses, I just surrendered. I felt as though there were no barriers between the two of us so there was no barrier to pleasure and no end to it.’

  Jo nodded. ‘There’s a saying among kinky people. “When the ropes are on the outside the ropes on the inside dissolve.”’

  ‘Yes . . . yes, that’s how it was.’

  ‘Well, it sounds very exciting for you.’

  ‘It was. It was . . . incredible . . . I know I keep saying that, but it was. Though, seeing Jude Ryan and Michael together the other night has made me realise what was missing from the experience.’

  ‘That sounds intriguing. What was missing?’ Jo sipped her coffee.

  ‘Intimacy . . . commitment, connection, that indefinable something that makes it personal and real. For the first time I can see that kinky sex is not just consensual abuse but intimacy, trust . . . love even.’

  Jo put down her cup on the coffee table. She turned to face him, tucking her legs beneath her on the sofa. ‘And does that mean you want to explore that for yourself?’ Jo’s voice sounded soft and casual but the expression in her eyes was deadly serious.

  Dan could hear his own heart beating. He looked at Jo. Her eyes glistened. He allowed his gaze to slide down her creamy throat to the curve of her breasts. Finally he spoke. ‘I think there’s a part of me that longs to experience it even though I understand that, if it’s real, the fear and difficulty will be as intensified as the pleasure. But, yes, I think I would. With the right partner.’

  He looked at her face again. She was smiling. For a moment, she met his gaze, her eyes shining and intense, then she looked down into her lap.

  ‘I hope you haven’t forgotten that I agreed to answer your questions. I’m ready for my interrogation. You can even shine a light in my eyes, if you like, to create the right atmosphere.’

  Dan didn’t even have to think about his first question. ‘Are you kinky? And, if so, are you dom or sub?’

  ‘Do I have to be either? I hate labels. If I have sex with women does that make me bisexual? I don’t think so. If you put labels on your sexuality you have to try to fit yourself into someone else’s definition. I prefer to think of myself as open to an
y experience that’s pleasurable or interesting.’

  ‘Isn’t that avoiding my question? Even if you don’t label yourself, surely you must have preferences.’

  ‘I’m sorry. It’s not my intention to evade any of your questions. You’ve shared your soul with me, I’ll do the same.’ She reached down and removed her shoes. She dropped them onto the floor with a thud. Dan knew that she was deliberately teasing him by making him wait for her answer. She massaged her feet for several seconds before carrying on.

  ‘I’m mostly dominant, though it wasn’t always the case and, occasionally, I switch with one of my lovers. But not because I feel submissive . . . I just enjoy the pain and surrender. My first kinky experiences were submissive and I’m sure it was allowing myself to do it that put me in touch with my personal power and helped me, in a way, to find out who I really am.’

  ‘So what sort of thing do you do sexually?’ Dan noticed that her feet were unusually small for a woman of her height. He had to fight the urge to touch them.

  ‘Let me see. I’m pretty open, really. Whipping, fisting, cutting, toilet games. I like to strap on a cock and fuck a man because nothing brings home to a man quite how powerless he is more than that.’ She smiled as she spoke and Dan knew she was deliberately trying to shock and arouse him. And it was definitely working.

  ‘So, what’s the most extreme thing you’ve ever done, do you think?’

  She shrugged. ‘I suppose it depends on what you mean by extreme and what your particular limits are.’

  ‘Well . . . have you drawn blood – like that scene in Maîtresse?’

  She nodded slowly. ‘And I enjoyed it. Edge play produces extreme emotional and physical responses and can create and deepen an intimacy to a degree that most people can never even imagine.’

  Dan’s cock was tingling. His breath caught in his throat. ‘Have you ever done anything really disgusting?’