Full Circle

by Lynne, Donya

  “Okay.”

  His eyebrows rose. “Okay?”

  “Yes, I’ll try it. I trust you.” And if this brought them closer and introduced her to something new she would end up enjoying, pushing out of her comfort zone would be worth it.

  Hell, their whole relationship so far had been about pushing her out of her comfort zone, and hadn’t she enjoyed every bit of it? Why would this be any different?

  Gratitude oozed from every pore as he closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Thank you.”

  Placing her hand under his chin, she brought his face back up and searched his eyes. “Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me. I know it was hard.”

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t understand.”

  “Well, I do.” She placed a tender kiss on his lips. “But I have to ask. Why were you so afraid to tell me this?”

  He let out a sigh that sounded like relief as he rubbed his palms reassuringly up her thighs. “I didn’t want you to think I’m gay.”

  “What!” She laughed. “Really? You thought I’d think you were gay?”

  His eyebrows scrunched together briefly then he let out a staccato chuckle and glanced away, shaking his head. “Well . . . yeah.” He shrugged. “A lot of men are afraid to admit they like this sort of thing because others will think they’re secretly in the closet or have homoerotic fantasies. So, yeah . . . I was worried your image of me would change, and that you’d think I swing both ways or something.”

  “Uh, no.” She pressed forward and kissed him again. “I would never think that about you. You enjoy having sex with me too much for me to think you’re gay.”

  “Well, I could be bisexual.”

  She shook her head curtly. “No. Just . . . no. You would never convince me of that even if you tried.”

  He snapped his fingers. “Well, damn, there goes my April Fool’s Day joke.”

  “Ha. Funny.” She placed her hands on his. This conversation had gone better than she anticipated. What a relief to finally have everything out in the open. “So, is there anything else you need to tell me? Anything left that you haven’t said?”

  She was ready for this whole sordid ordeal to be behind them so they could get back to planning their future.

  * * *

  Mark’s mind shot to his list. There was still one unrevealed item on it. One he’d crossed off but still haunted him even more now than it had then.

  I want to dance again.

  Rather than push his luck and go for complete disclosure, perhaps he should count himself lucky and call it a day. Karma had handled his latest confession better than he’d expected. She hadn’t completely freaked out or looked at him like he was an alien. Didn’t that count for something? Could he live with getting ninety percent through his list and leave it at that?

  Besides, dancing again wasn’t something he could ask of her. That was something he’d shared with Carol. Something intensely personal that would shatter Karma if she knew he wanted it back. He’d already unloaded enough on her and couldn’t expect her to take up ballroom dance just for him.

  Plus, that item meant so much more than just dancing. So much so he still couldn’t put it all into words.

  “No. That’s it.” He lifted her hand and kissed the backs of her fingers. “You’ve graciously handled everything I’ve told you, both in Saint Lucia and now, and I couldn’t want for anything more.”

  It was the truth. So what if he had to abandon the fantasy of ever dancing again, both metaphorically and physically. He wasn’t even sure he could handle it, anyway. Carol’s duplicity might have killed that part of his universe forever. Dance was all about trusting your partner, and she’d killed that for him.

  But now, with Karma, he trusted again. And he’d found that trust without dancing with her. There was no need to open old doors, which could lead to a major backfire.

  Relationships were about compromise. And this was the compromise he would make for theirs. He would gladly give up this fantasy to have the others. And to have his Karma.

  He pulled her onto his lap. “So, I didn’t scare you off? You’re not freaked out?”

  “No. Surprised maybe. A little. But not freaked out.” She brushed her fingertips across his forehead, combing aside his hair. “And maybe I’m a little aroused.” She grinned in that playful way that hinted at naughty thoughts and secret fantasies.

  “Aroused?” He lay back and pulled her down with him. “Why’s that?”

  “Because . . . what you said about parading me in public . . .” Her lashes fell over her eyes. “That sounds kind of sexy.”

  Now it was his turn to be surprised. “Really now?”

  “Mm-hm.” She nodded dramatically.

  He slipped his fingers up the back of her shirt, finding her warm, bare skin. “And how sexy does it sound? Sexy enough that you’d like to try it?”

  She bit her bottom lip, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “Maybe.” Then she froze and narrowed her eyes. “As long as we start slow. I like the idea of secret touching in a crowded room, but that whole sex party thing might be too much.”

  “Understood.” He rolled her over and pushed her farther into the center of the bed before easing back down between her legs. “You know, I’ve always suspected you had an exhibitionist in you, too.” He pushed up her blouse, lowering his head so he could leave a trail of kisses down her stomach. “You’ve often said and done things that made me think you would get off on being watched. That you enjoy the risk.”

  Her fingers burrowed into his hair. “And you never thought to bring this up before now?”

  He tugged off her shirt then his own. “I was afraid I might have misread you and turn you off if I did.”

  She half-rolled her eyes, smiling. “When have you ever misread someone?”

  He’d misread Carol. Which had led to a level of emotional anguish he never wanted to feel again, crippling him to err on the side of caution every time he thought he knew someone well enough to know what they wanted before they did. At least when it came to the important stuff.

  “Trust me, it’s happened.” He pulled the cup of her bra down and gently closed his mouth over her nipple.

  On the inside, he wanted to tear away the rest of her clothes and ravage her to within a hair’s breadth of maddening pleasure. To consume her so fully she wouldn’t be able to feel where he ended and she began and would lose sight of everything but burning euphoria. But on the outside, he maintained control. As he’d done so many times before, in countless relationships and situations, he quelled his own desires so he didn’t upset the newfound balance that revealing his fantasies had created.

  There would be time enough to stretch her outside her comfort zone into his later. For now, he just wanted to love her. He wanted to be the safe place she had come to know and trust with her own vulnerabilities.

  “I love you,” he said, gliding slowly into her after quickly nabbing a condom and slipping it on.

  “I certainly hope so, Mr. Strong.” She wrapped her legs around his hips and tilted her pelvis welcomingly.

  “Why’s that?” He rose up on his arms so he could gaze down at her perfectly understated breasts, her pale pink nipples forming tight peaks.

  “Because we just bought a very big, very sexy, very over-the-top house together.” She swiveled her hips then unlocked her legs and threw them over his shoulders.

  Jesus, but she was flexible.

  “That we did. Are you ready for this?” He gently rocked into her.

  “Now that you’ve finally shared all your secrets with me, I’m ready for anything.”

  Not all his secrets. But enough of them.

  “Then hold on, Miss Mason.” He rocked more forcefully into her, making her gasp.

  Reaching low, she grasped his hips and dug her blunt nails into his buttocks. An extra shot of arousal flashed up and down his spine.

  She grinned as her fingers played over his ass, sending crackles of lightning up and down his back and legs
as his cock swelled.

  Her gaze bore into his as she pulled him forward. “Shut up and fuck me, Mr. Strong.”

  Growling, he rose to his knees and grasped one strong, slender leg, holding it to his chest as he kissed her ankle. If she wanted fucked, he would oblige.

  That he could do.

  Chapter 13

  Sometimes you don't need a goal in life. You don't need to know the big picture. You just need to know what you're going to do next.

  -Sophie Kinsella, The Undomestic Goddess.

  Karma loved these tender, peaceful moments after sex, Mark’s arms holding her, his face nuzzled in her hair, his warm breath heating her scalp.

  Once again, all was well. Another intense discussion that could have ended with shattered hope and broken hearts had, instead, culminated in the two of them making love and tightening one more notch in the cinch binding them together. They’d made it one step further in this journey of them. An “us.” A real couple.

  She rolled over, facing him. “I think it’s time we told my parents.”

  His palm rested on her naked hip. “That we’re engaged?”

  “Yes.”

  Rolling to his back, he let out a heavy exhale as he stared up at the ceiling. Then he rolled his head and looked at her. “This’ll be tricky. Your dad hates me.” His eyes twinkled in the darkness as he grinned. “I’ve stolen his daughter to the dark side.”

  She propped herself on her elbow and rested her other hand on his chest as she kissed his shoulder. “Well, he needs to accept that this is my choice. And we need to force the issue. He’s never going to come around if we don’t give him a push.”

  “And you want to push him.”

  “You’ll help, of course.” Sirens rang out somewhere in the distance, but she and Mark were tucked into the safety of each other. The rest of the world could be in chaos, but around Mark, she would feel nothing but calm. “And we haven’t even told your parents.”

  “We will. But I believe in making that kind of announcement in person.” He rolled back to his side so they were facing each other again. “I was thinking we could take a weekend off and go to Chicago after closing on the house. There’s this furniture store up there that’s been around for decades. I wanted us to go there and pick out a new bed. Something to start our life together. And my parents are having a party for my mom’s birthday in a few weeks, so that would be the perfect time.” He ran the tips of his fingers around her eye and down her cheek. “We could go shopping . . . buy a bed, maybe a few other pieces of furniture . . . go to my mom’s party . . .” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Announce our engagement.” His smile faltered briefly before brightening his face once more. “How does that sound?”

  “Sounds perfect. For your parents. Now, what about mine?” She dropped her head to the pillow, keeping her eyes on his, enjoying the soothing way his fingers slowly skimmed up and down her arm. “My dad’s going to be a lot tougher customer than your parents.”

  “I know.” He kissed her, letting his lips cling to hers as if imparting reassurance everything would be okay. “How about we keep it simple and tell them we have news and would like to have dinner with them. We can make reservations at a nice restaurant—”

  “Where he can’t make a scene, right?”

  He laughed. “I hadn’t thought of that, but yes, that’s a good point. If we’re in a restaurant, he’s not as likely to make a scene.”

  She tapped the side of her head. “Gotta think of these things.”

  “Absolutely.” He inched closer, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her against him. “So, we invite them to dinner—in a restaurant—and we just tell them we’re engaged.”

  “When? Before dinner? During dessert?” She smirked. “As we’re about to get back in our car and come home?”

  He chuckled lightly. “I say we get it out right away so you’re not worrying about it the whole time. If he gets mad and leaves, then at least our consciences are cleared and we’ve taken the first step.”

  He made it sound so simple, but Karma feared revealing their engagement wouldn’t go exactly as planned. But, as Mark said, at least the news would be out there. The hard part would be over.

  She just wished her dad could be as happy for her now as he had been when Brad proposed. That wasn’t going to happen, though. Dad had liked Brad. He despised Mark.

  But Dad needed to understand she was marrying Mark. End of story.

  They were in this for the long haul.

  Even if they still hadn’t set a date.

  Chapter 14

  True friends stab you in the front.

  -Oscar Wilde

  “Who’s bright idea was it to go jogging in this weather?” Karma shot Daniel a scowl, her nose freezing, her legs tingling beneath her thermal leggings and nylon, water resistant training pants that swished like two plastic bags being rubbed together with every stride.

  Zach, who trotted on her other side, laughed. “Daniel, I think you just got on Karma’s shit list.”

  “She’ll thank me later . . . on her wedding day when she looks absolutely fabulous in her dress.”

  She expelled a derisive huff. “At this rate, I might never get into a wedding dress.”

  Daniel shot her an inquisitive glance.

  “Mark still hasn’t set a date,” she explained.

  The threesome followed a curve along the trail as an icy mist began falling. It wasn’t quite warm enough for rain, not quite cold enough for snow. Just right for miserable mist that made the air feel like ice.

  “Well, honey, what’s that fine man waiting for? A shift in the gravitational forces of the universe.” Daniel paused for a few quick breaths. “Get Mark to commit to a date. It’s not rocket science.”

  She laughed. “Did you just use Mark’s name in the same sentence as the word commit? Do you not see the irony of that?”

  “I thought he was over all that nonsense.”

  “He is, but—”

  “Mm-mm, honey.” Daniel waggled his finger. “He needs to shit or get off the pot. That’s what I say. If he wants to play, he’s gots to pay.”

  “Amen,” Zach said. “He put a ring on it, now he needs to make it real.”

  Karma slowed to a walk, dragging the boys’ pace down with hers. “Okay, you two, cut Mark some slack. He’s working on it. We’re just waiting until we get moved in to the house and get settled. Then we’ll start looking at dates for the wedding.”

  “If you say so.” Daniel jacked his hands up on his hips as he walked, panting. “By the way, how’s that going? The new house, I mean.”

  It had been three weeks ago today that she and Mark had made the offer on the house, which the sellers had accepted four days later, after a quick negotiation on price. Being that Mark had liquidated assets to pay for the purchase with cash, the closing fast-tracked, and they’d signed the paperwork on Valentine’s Day. That night they had a quiet carpet picnic in their new dining room to celebrate. They’d chattered the whole time about moving in, what would go where, which rooms would be used for what. But not once did they discuss the wedding.

  “Everything’s fine. Mark’s already moving in, and I notified my landlord on Monday that I’m vacating my apartment at the end of the month. I’m losing my security deposit, but that can’t be helped.” She waved her hand dismissively. She hated losing the money, but the only way she could get her security deposit back was if she waited to move out until the end of October, and that wasn’t happening, so buh-bye security deposit. “And this weekend, Mark and I are going to Chicago for his mom’s birthday party. While we’re there, we’re going to tell his parents about our engagement.”

  “And what about your parents? When are you telling them?”

  “We’re having dinner with them Friday night.”

  Daniel’s eyebrows shot upward. “I hope you can still go to Chicago after your dad hears the news. Maybe you should wear body armor to dinner.”

  She blew air between her pur
sed lips, making them flutter. “Tell me about it. It was like trying to talk a Colts fan into betting on the Patriots just to get my dad to accept our invitation.”

  “How did you finally convince him?”

  “I didn’t. Mom did. And I have no idea what she said. But damn, it took a week for him to agree just to have a meal with us.”

  Zach bent to one side then the other, stretching. “So, how’s everything else going? How’s your new job?”

  “And your classes? How are they going?” Daniel added.

  “Busy and busier.” She stopped at a fence and used it for balance as she stretched her quadriceps. “I finished my first assignment for Winstrom on Monday, so now I’m just waiting to hear back from my boss, and my classes are intense. Sometimes I don’t finish my homework until after ten o’clock at night.”

  Daniel cringed and exchanged glances with Zach. “I bet that’s putting a damper on your sex life.”

  “Not really. Mark keeps things interesting.”

  Zach made an appreciative noise. “I bet.” He’d made no secret that he thought Mark was—how had he put it?—just about the hottest straight man he’d ever met.

  Daniel gave Zach’s shoulder a light shove. “Hey, you’re taken, lover boy.”

  Laughing, Zach took Daniel’s hand, pulled him close, and kissed him on the lips. “Calm down, handsome. I may be taken, but I’m not blind. I can still appreciate a good-looking heterosexual man.”

  Those two didn’t give two shits what the public thought about their shows of affection. They were secure in their feelings, and even if they weren’t, they were built like UFC fighters. Zach had even recently gotten a tattoo of Daniel’s name across his chest, inspired by Mark’s tattoo of her name on his chest, no less. But now he was obsessed with the idea of getting another tattoo on his back. An eagle with outstretched wings on his shoulder blades.

  Tattoos or not, Daniel and Zach looked like guys you didn’t want to go up against, even though they were as sweet as kittens and didn’t have a violent bone in their bodies. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t shed someone’s blood who threatened them, though. If it came to protecting one another or someone they loved, they could definitely lay down the hurt. But they wouldn’t be the ones starting the fight.