Breathless

by Radclyffe

Julia wiped her eyes with the tissue Emily had given her and said, “Mrs. St. Claire, I’m so sorry—”

  “Julia, call me Emily, and don’t apologize for giving your emotions an outlet.” The driver took a left and stopped in front of Commander’s Palace restaurant. “I spoke with Poppy after you three returned from Carly’s Sound. One thing I heard in her happy tale was the absolute lightness of her voice. Poppy Valente is happy again, and it’s because of you.” The driver stood outside the car but Emily made no move to get out. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that happiness that she always had in abundance.”

  “She was in love then.”

  “She’s in love now,” Emily said, tapping on the window. “Come on, let’s take a walk first.”

  Julia buttoned her jacket, feeling considerably underdressed next to Emily.

  “The place we’re going, they won’t care about the jeans, trust me,” Emily said.

  Julia took the arm Emily offered and followed her across the street to the entrance of a cemetery that was full of what looked like small brick houses all painted white. Emily led her down a few rows, stopping at a modest grave topped with a family name she didn’t recognize. The newly added bronze plaque had Carly’s name on it with the appropriate dates, and the words, “Wife and Mother.”

  “Her ashes are where she wanted to be.” Emily sat on the bench across from the tomb and patted the spot next to her. “On that island and in the waters she shared with Poppy is where her spirit will live on, but Elizabeth wanted something more permanent to mark her mother’s memory. She buried that little tin Carly found for herself.”

  Sitting beside Emily, Julia looked down at her hands, her focus on the ring Poppy had given her. “I didn’t know.”

  “Neither does Poppy. Elizabeth did it before Poppy came home. She put the last physical link to her mother in with her grandparents and hasn’t wanted to tell Poppy. I imagine she thinks Poppy has borne enough pain for ten lifetimes.”

  Julia gazed up at the plaque again, and it made Carly as real as she’d ever been to her. “Why are we here? Do you want me to tell Poppy about this?”

  “Poppy is important to me, so I want us to become friends. Since you’re important to her, I assume you must know about Carly.”

  “I asked Poppy about her,” Julia said, not knowing how to continue.

  “The other woman, huh?” Emily teased.

  Julia laughed at how perceptive Emily was. “The perfect other woman. There’s no way to compete.” Mortified, she stopped talking. If Emily’s intent was to set up a trap for her, she’d walked into it effortlessly. “I’m sorry. You must think I’m a horrible person, talking ill of the dead.”

  “You’re honest, my dear. Never apologize for that. It’ll be the only way to keep Poppy, and from our friendship all these years, I know she isn’t one for games. But don’t waste your time thinking about Carly and what was. That will drive you mad. Think instead of what a special person you must be to have driven the hermit from her cave.” Emily took her hand as if to be of comfort.

  “What did you think of Carly?”

  Emily took so long in saying something, Julia thought it was the most polite way not to answer the question. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to—”

  “Carly was a woman who for too many years just went through the motions of her life—daughter, wife, mother, and volunteer. As if she knew what was expected of her, and that’s what she delivered. She did it with such ease and grace that some envied her life. They envied the window dressing, but I dug deeper because she was my friend. Carly was one of those rare individuals who people gravitate to, and it was unfortunate that for someone who could’ve had her pick, her first choice was Thomas.”

  “Matlin and Kelly told me a little about him,” Julia said when Emily stopped to take a breath.

  “Now that you’re here, I’m sure you’ll get around to meeting Thomas. Myron and I attended their wedding all those years ago and it seemed like a perfect match. He was charming, ambitious, and good looking.”

  The parallel between the man Emily was describing and Poppy jumped out so she couldn’t stay quiet. “Sounds like the perfect mate. Actually it sounds like someone I know and love.”

  Emily laughed and shook her head. “Don’t make that mistake, dear. It’s true your love is all those things, but her ambition is different from Thomas’s. Poppy’s ambition is for everyone she comes in contact with, whereas Thomas’s drive is fueled by finding ways to enrich only himself. Carly’s first marriage became a struggle for control, and he tried every trick he could think of to break her.”

  “Doesn’t sound very pleasant,” Julia said softly.

  “It wasn’t, and I’m sure Thomas will have much to explain for his actions when he meets his maker. But he didn’t control her as much as he thought. There was never any fire in Carly’s eyes, and her smile never went past her lips. She was good at pretending she was happy, but she never really was. Then the impossible happened. She left him, and the reasons why made the rumors epic even in a town like New Orleans. The stories were dying down and then the real golden couple came back to town.” Emily made air quotes for the moniker. “Carly came home to prove the stories true, a young lover with a passion for life and an even bigger passion for her. As a bonus, it didn’t hurt that Poppy had become successful in the resort business.”

  “I heard about the tango and your party.”

  “Ah, Matlin and Sabrina. The part I’m sure they left out was the guts it took to face those who’d had so much fun talking about her. The elite had only heard Thomas’s side of the story, but that night Carly Valente showed those ninnies who she really was. Even the mask couldn’t hide it.”

  “What?”

  “The fire in those green eyes. The only thing brighter in the room that night were Poppy’s when she looked at her.”

  “Thank you, Emily. I feel so much better now,” she said, laughing.

  Emily joined in as if knowing what she’d found so humorous. “Believe it or not, there’s a point to telling you all this besides answering your question.”

  “What, to prove my assumption Carly was perfect is right on target?”

  “Julia, an old friend called on me a few weeks ago, and there was something very different about her but also something familiar. The eyes, Julia, those gorgeous blues never lie when it comes to the way she feels. For Poppy, her eyes are truly the windows not only to her soul but to her heart. I’m so happy my prediction was wrong.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I always figured Poppy would eventually find someone she could spend her life with. But while you spend time and money, you share a life. There’s a difference. My father was a bit of a gambler, and he was fond of one saying: It only takes losing everything once to make you wise to the games of chance. Smart gamblers always hold something back so they never truly get burned, and Poppy’s smart. When I looked at her I saw the hand she was holding.”

  “I guess I’ll always get to hear about how she was and settle for that.” Julia tried not to show how much that hurt but couldn’t stop her lips from quivering.

  “Julia, in my opinion, you’re sitting at the table with someone who’s pushed all her chips back into play. There is no woman alive or dead who can beat your ante now, girl.”

  “Thank you,” Julia said softly. Maybe, maybe it was time for her to step out of Carly’s shadow.

  *

  Poppy, holding Tallulah in her arms, watched the Town Car pull up in front of the Piquant, grateful the doorman had overheard Emily and Julia say they were going to lunch earlier. She opened the door for Julia, kissed her cheek as Julia climbed out, and passed the baby into her arms.

  “You look like you had a good lunch,” Poppy said. Julia seemed more relaxed than she had earlier.

  “I did,” Julia said as Emily’s car drove away. “Are you busy now?”

  “I’m all yours for whatever you have in mind.” Poppy took Julia’s hand. “And I do mean that…I’
m all yours.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry I’ve been acting like a nervous cat lately. There’s something I’d like to show you.”

  “Then lead the way.”

  “We’ll need to take the Jeep.”

  Poppy drove, following Julia’s directions, and pulled up in front of the pinkest house she had ever seen. She rested her elbows on the steering wheel and just stared. Please God, let pink not be her favorite color. The sound of Julia unbuckling Tallulah’s car seat snapped her out of the visual stimulation overload.

  “It has four bedrooms plus a great master suite, and wait till you see the yard,” Julia said enthusiastically as they walked across the lawn.

  Poppy regarded the large flock of plastic pink flamingos in the side yard, thinking of the papers she’d signed that morning giving Elizabeth the house that was only a block away.

  A very cheerful real estate agent waited on the porch. “Ms. Valente, I’m Georgia Easel with the Western Group. Want to step inside and take a look around?”

  Not really, but I think my vote is severely limited here. Poppy shook Georgia’s hand and smiled, hoping it looked sincere. “I’d love to.”

  Julia stopped right inside the door. “I know you already have a house here, but when we talked about what came next, you said maybe we could start fresh in someplace that would be ours. If you’re not ready for that, I’ll be okay with staying at the Piquant as long as you need to, so don’t think this is something I’m forcing on you.”

  Poppy blinked. The deep purple of the foyer made the outside color look good. The adjacent living room was a shade of red that only looked good on cars and lipstick. Not the response Julia was after, apparently.

  “Is something wrong?” Julia asked.

  “You love this place, huh?”

  Julia handed the baby over as if trying to decipher her question. “You can’t hate it already, we just walked in.”

  “I don’t hate it. I’m just asking if you like it.”

  “Are you kidding? This place’s great. Come on and I’ll show you why I think so.”

  The back room Julia led her to had been used by the owners as a family room. Large windows afforded a great view of the pool surrounded by what appeared to be thousands of cactus plants. Beyond that was a large overgrown patch that led out to Audubon Park.

  Poppy stopped blinking and squinted, since she was now having a hard time adjusting her eyes to the combination of sun streaming in the windows and screaming bright yellow walls. Even the baby buried her face against her shoulder for relief.

  “Ms. Easel, could you excuse us a moment, please?” Julia asked, prompting Georgia to head to the front of the house. “You hate it, don’t you? You can be honest, honey. I don’t want you to be miserable for the next sixty plus years.”

  “It’s just that it looks like Sherwin Williams threw up in here. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but white’s my favorite color. And all those prickly plants out there wouldn’t be safe for Tallulah.”

  “What’s the matter, honey, pink’s not your color?” Julia turned Poppy away from the windows and looked her in the eye. “Honey, I’m not moving into a house that has more colors than a crayon box, and you’re not acting any differently than I did when I first walked in here. My one salvation is Susanna was with me to point out the potential buried under the rainbow—like the great floors and molding the original builder put in. As for the yard, imagine a canopy starting from the house extending over half the deck. The shade would make this room bearable in the mornings. And a big bulldozer to knock down all the cacti. You have to remember you’re getting a landscape architect in the bargain, and I’m not a big fan of cactus either.”

  “How about the outside color?”

  “White happens to be my favorite color, too, in houses anyway, and we’ll have a party to set the flamingos free if we decide on this place. Since I’m so nice I’ll let your lack of faith in my tastes pass this one time.” Julia reached up and kissed Poppy until a small pudgy hand slapped the top of her head. “Now stop looking at the walls and let’s go upstairs.”

  Julia’s choice wouldn’t require near the work Poppy’s first house had needed, so they signed a contract of intent and gave Georgia a check along with their bid. Just the look on Sabrina’s and Matlin’s faces when they saw the decorating nightmare would almost make the purchase worthwhile.

  “Thank you,” Julia said on their way back to the Piquant. “You sure made that easy.”

  “Buying’s easy, but the easiest part is making it a home with you and Tallulah. I should be thanking you for giving me everything I didn’t even realize I needed. And a house was high on my priority list since I gave one away this morning.”

  “You gave your house away?”

  “Elizabeth will be happy there, or at least I hope she’ll be as happy as Carly and I were when we lived there. You and I deserve some place where we can start making our own memories.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, baby, but I know a group of people who’ll adore you maybe as much as I do.”

  “Who?” Julia asked.

  “Think how much the neighbors are going to love you when the paint crew arrives carrying buckets and buckets of white.”

  *

  A week later Julia stood in front of the full-length mirror in their bedroom at the Piquant checking the fit of the formal gown she’d picked for the annual Christmas Ball, a charity event to benefit the Carly Valente Trust Fund. In only a short period of time she’d learned to ask, and had received much more than a house. It was like Poppy had come alive making plans for the future, a future she wholeheartedly wanted with her and Tallulah.

  Emily had been right in that Poppy would never forget Carly, but the only one who’d had a hard time separating the past from the present was her. A wasteful mistake she wasn’t about to repeat.

  “I’m so sorry we never met,” she said to Carly, moving to the main room. “Though if you were still here, Poppy wouldn’t have given me the time of day.” She laughed but knew how true that statement was. “I owe you a debt for teaching her how to love as completely as she does, so the part of her heart that’ll always belong to you will be taken good care of by the part that belongs to me.”

  The verandah door flew open just as the elevator doors did and she could’ve sworn she heard the words “You’re so very welcome” in the wind. The voice sounded a lot like the one in her head when she’d picked Carly as Tallulah’s middle name.

  She shook her head as she closed the verandah doors and turned at the sound of Tallulah’s laughter. Smiling, she took in the mutual admiration society made up of her partner and daughter. Tallulah was in her reserved spot in Poppy’s arms listening to her sing, laughing when long fingers would tickle her as she finished up a verse.

  “Mama,” Tallulah said when she saw her.

  Poppy stared. “Wow.”

  “You like it?”

  “I love it, but looking at you may make me forget how to dance.” Poppy put Tallulah on the floor and stepped closer to Julia.

  “Let’s hope not because I’ve been looking forward to this, and it’s for a good cause.”

  After they arrived and were seated with their closest friends, Julia started to relax and enjoy the event. No one was dancing yet even though the band was playing.

  “Darling, care to get the evening rolling for us?” Emily asked Poppy. “I’ve been resting my knee for long enough, and while our usual waltz is a few months away, I thought you’d give me an early Christmas present and dance with me.”

  Trying not to look disappointed, Julia watched Poppy walk toward the bandstand to make her request. Poppy looked fantastic in her tuxedo with a red vest and bow tie that matched her dress. She had thought about Matlin and Sabrina’s story and had hoped to share her own special moment with Poppy when the opportunity presented itself, but couldn’t begrudge Emily her fun.

  “May I have this dance?” Poppy’s question interrupted her spiraling
self-pity.

  “Aren’t you going to waltz with Emily?” Julia realized they were now the center of attention.

  “In a little while, but now I want to dance with you. It’s considered rude to dance the first and last dance with someone other than the lady you came with. It’s the rule of the South,” Poppy said. The band continued playing the soft background music as if waiting for her and Poppy to step onto the dance floor. Poppy sat next to her and leaned in to continue their talk when she didn’t take her hand. “You know what else is rude?”

  Julia shook her head and tried to control her emotions.

  “To have you live one more minute with a picture in your head of me doing something but with a different woman in my arms, even if I loved her with all my heart, especially when I’m in a position to do something about it. Would you like to make new memories with me?”

  “I’d love to.”

  Standing again, Poppy bowed at the waist and offered her hand. “May I have this dance?”

  Dancing the tango with Poppy was like a musical seduction. Feeling Poppy’s body pressed up behind her made her completely forget she didn’t really know how to dance the tango. Poppy’s lead was easy to follow, and she gave silent thanks that the bodice of her dress was a little snug, effectively hiding her response to her lover’s embrace. When Poppy splayed her fingers on her stomach and pulled her closer, her nipples got hard and she was ready to head upstairs. By the end it was a godsend Poppy was strong, since she was the only thing keeping her upright.

  “Promise me we’ll do that again real soon.”

  As an answer Poppy dipped her head and kissed her.

  *

  Two days later on Christmas morning Poppy watched as Tallulah ripped open presents, laughing whenever she was able to tear another piece off the pile of boxes Poppy had gotten her.

  “Mama!” Tallulah waved a scrap of wrapping at Julia.

  “Your mama needs to open her gift.” Poppy handed Julia a flat present.

  Julia removed the wrapping and laughed when she saw the calendar. “A gag gift?”