Breathless

by Radclyffe

  “If you open it to the day we met, you’ll see why you’ll need that this coming year.” Poppy leaned back against the sofa.

  Julia flipped to the right month and stared at what Poppy had written. “Honey, you don’t have to do this. What we have, and what you’ve given me already, is enough.”

  “The property in Nice comes with an adjacent estate that’s about six hundred years old. Along with the house, there’s a chapel the family owned, and on our first anniversary that’s where we’ll get married. We’re going to do that with all our friends and family in attendance so they can hear me tell you before God how much I love you and how I intend to grow old with you and our children. I also promise I’ll wear shoes, and there’ll be no sand until we start the honeymoon.”

  “Thank you for loving me.” Julia held out her gift to Poppy. “And thank you for opening your heart to the possibility of sharing your life again. Merry Christmas.”

  The ring inside was similar in width to the one Carly had given her, but very different in design—the bark of a palm tree appeared to be etched into the platinum. She held it up to the light to see the inscription inside: With all that I am, until the last sunset.

  When she looked at Julia again she couldn’t get a word out around the lump in her throat but it didn’t matter. Julia moved to her lap and kissed her. They were celebrating their first Christmas together, but they’d already shared the best gift when they’d fallen in love months before.

  *

  Carly stood on the terrace, watching Poppy share the special day with her family. This time she left the doors closed, not wanting to disturb the moment, feeling a sense of peace that had eluded her from the moment she died. That serenity came from knowing that Poppy was healing and that Elizabeth was waking up in her new home with Susanna. Both her lost lambs had found a home and people who would love them as much as she had.

  “Merry Christmas, Poppy. I’ll love you always,” Carly whispered. She waved at Tallulah, who was looking right at her. “Take care of them both, Tallulah, and enjoy the life your parents will give you and the little brother who’s waiting to join you. I’ll visit from time to time and will always be looking out for you all.”

  Lisa Girolami has been in the entertainment industry since 1979. She holds a BA in Fine Art and an MS in Psychology. Previous jobs included ten years as a production executive in the motion picture industry and another two decades producing and designing theme parks for Disney and Universal Studios. She is also a counselor at a gay and lesbian mental health facility in Garden Grove. This short story revisits characters Mary and Beth from her novel, Run To Me. Her other novels include Love on Location, The Pleasure Set, and Jane Doe (forthcoming, 2011). Lisa currently lives with her partner, Susan, in Long Beach, California. Her website is http://LisaGirolami.com.

  Beautiful Burden

  Lisa Girolami

  Two loud yelps sounded from the station alarm. Mary Walston and Tomas Quinones dropped their wooden spoons and Mary turned off the oven. The Christmas Eve cookies would have to wait.

  “Attention, engine five. Respond to a fire at one-seven-zero-zero Mariposa Street.”

  Mary sprinted down the stairs, two at a time. Tomas was right behind her as they joined the rest of the crew on the first floor. Most of their squad was already pulling on the gear that was positioned, as always, in a neat row along the floor in front of their lockers.

  “Attention engines six, ten, and fourteen. Respond to a fire at one-seven-zero-zero Mariposa Street.”

  Their fire engine started up, its loud rumble reverberating off the walls of the garage as the roll up door lifted rapidly. Mary stepped into her pile of gear, pulled it up, and buckled it quickly. A cold, sharp gust of December wind caught in her lungs and she gasped. She grabbed her helmet from the shelf above and threw on her bulky, protective jacket.

  The captain rushed by Mary as she climbed onto the fire engine.

  “Shit,” he said in his usual controlled tone, but his underlying anxiousness hung in the air like strong cologne. Mary’s pulse accelerated. This multiple-engine call was not going to be for a small cooking mishap or an overheated space heater.

  *

  Beth knew it was silly to have the Chipmunks Christmas CD playing while she cooked dinner, but it always put her in a cheery holiday mood. Mary would walk in the door after her shift was over and tease her about it. She smiled. Mary was off work at six and they’d have Christmas Eve as well as Christmas Day together. After opening presents the next morning, they planned a five-mile run through Golden Gate Park and could hopefully spend the rest of the holiday in bed. The television was on in the family room, tuned to the five o’clock news so she could catch the weather report for their run.

  While Alvin sang of wanting a plane that loops the loop, Beth mixed the salad and checked the steak that was marinating. Over the harmonization of Chipmunk voices, the television news anchor said, “five-alarm fire in Potrero Point.”

  She dropped her kitchen towel and hurried to the family room.

  News cameras were already on the scene, and the television images showed an industrial building completely engulfed in flames. The news station switched to their helicopter’s aerial view and the true, immense involvement of the fire became terrifyingly evident.

  Beth’s heart lurched painfully. Since they had been together, Mary had rarely gotten home late from her shifts. Sometimes she had to stay over to wrap up a fire call or to attend a station house meeting, but Beth had never worried much. This fire, however, was enormous; its hunger overwhelmed the old-looking structure that was already buckling from the assault.

  The ground camera panned across the line of fire engines. Number fourteen, number six…maybe Mary’s engine wasn’t…number five. An ominous dread spread through Beth, paralyzing her where she stood. The love of her life was somewhere in the midst of an all-consuming firestorm.

  *

  Mary and Tomas attained access to the roof on the eastern side of the building. They needed to ventilate the building of smoke, heat, and any gases so the interior team could better search for any occupants. She found the scuttle hatch that was farthest away from their ladder. They’d start there and work their way back.

  The roof access room, a small shack only as wide as its door, was close to their entry point. Mary checked for heat and, not feeling any, turned the doorknob. She cracked the door open and a light amount of smoke filtered out. She opened it wide and looked down the stairs. Seeing no fire, she and Tomas made their way to the far hatch on the western side of the roof. When Tomas radioed and got the go-ahead, they opened the hatch.

  A vertical column of searing smoke jetted through the opening and Mary jerked her head away from the singe of radiated heat. “I don’t see any flames.”

  Suddenly, an enormous explosion behind them shook the roof. They dropped to their knees and shielded their facemasks.

  The cover of the middle scuttle hatch had exploded and a five-foot spiral of fire erupted from the opening. A surge of adrenaline rushed through Mary’s veins. The fire could be right underneath them.

  Tomas grabbed her arm. “Let’s go.”

  They had taken four steps toward the ladder at the other end of the warehouse when the roof around what was left of the middle hatch cracked loudly. The fire seemed to have arms that reached up through the opening, flailing around, looking for something to grab. There were two more loud cracks and the hatch collapsed into itself, falling quickly into the blazing hole. The center of the roof shuddered and groaned.

  “Fuck,” Mary yelled.

  Tomas ran to the closest edge. “It’s too far to jump.”

  “We’re going.” Mary cocked her head toward the ladder.

  Tomas nodded.

  *

  Frozen in front of the television, Beth switched back and forth between the two local stations covering the fire. They kept showing the same damn footage of the commotion around the building and kept repeating what little they knew about the c
ontents of the warehouse and those inside. Her future and her life were being played out on fifty-two inches of high-definition plasma.

  “Talk to the goddamned fire chief! Get a report of what the hell is going on!”

  Tears of fear and frustration burned the corners of her eyes. “Report what the fuck is going on!”

  Her cell phone rang and she grabbed it from her waist holster. A bolt of fear ripped through her. The call might be from the station about Mary.

  “Beth.” It was Alder, the woman who had introduced her to Mary.

  “Alder, are you watching TV?”

  “That’s why I called, honey.”

  “Shit. I don’t know what to do.”

  “You’re doing exactly as you should. Stay right where you are, right where Mary can contact you when this is over.”

  “But what if she doesn’t call? What if it’s because…”

  “She’ll call. You need to take a deep breath.”

  “I’m scared to death, Alder.”

  “I know. And it sucks. You know this is part of being the wife of a firefighter.”

  “I just want her home with me.”

  “She’s trained for this. It’s her job, Beth.”

  “I know. It’s her career, actually. And that’s what makes me love her so much. She’s so passionate about firefighting and every time I see it in her eyes, I fall in love with her again. But I’m freaking out a little here.”

  The newscaster reported a firefighter had been injured, but no details were available yet as to the person’s identity.

  “Oh, God, Alder.” She gasped and began to cry. “I love her so much.”

  Beth wanted to close her eyes and block out the fiery images but couldn’t.

  *

  “Go, go, go!” Tomas was right behind Mary as she ran toward the ladder.

  She kept her eyes on the giant hole ahead of her, which looked like the hideous mouth of a subterranean monster gulping at anything nearby. In five more strides, she was upon the hole, staying far to the left to avoid the unstable roof fragments at the edge of the breach.

  That’s when she felt shaking underneath her feet.

  Another explosion threw Mary to her knees. A second scuttle hatch, the one closest to their ladder, had just ripped apart. Fire shot from its mouth as well.

  “Tomas, are you okay?”

  He was also on his knees. “Yeah, but this is some shit.”

  “Come on.” She stood and moved toward the edge of the roof.

  “I’m right behind you.”

  Her radio crackled to life. “Walston, Quinones, copy?”

  “We’re okay, Captain.”

  “Get the hell off the roof.”

  “That’s what we’re trying to do.”

  The structure had been compromised so much that the next footfall could drop them straight down into the deadly inferno below them. But there wasn’t time to call for a truck’s ladder to be raised to them.

  They were fifty feet from their ladder.

  They had to make it.

  *

  “Turn to channel six,” Alder said.

  Beth’s hand shook as she clicked over.

  “Doesn’t seem that the engine companies are having much success keeping this fire at bay.” The reporter paused before continuing. “We have now confirmed that the warehouse contained some kind of combustible material and possible canisters of compressed air, accounting for the explosions on the roof.”

  Columns of ominous smoke belched upward, cutting ugly swaths across the cloudless azure sky.

  “There have been two explosions on the roof of the warehouse,” the helicopter news reporter said as the images switched to the aerial view. “We’ve got reports of two firefighters up there. It looks like they are trying to make it to the far end.”

  The helicopter video images showed the two figures as they dodged a gaping hole in the roof. Their bulky uniforms and helmets made it difficult to distinguish men from women, let alone if one was Mary.

  The station reporter chimed in, “And it looks as though this fire has engulfed all floors of the building. This may be a total loss, and for some, will certainly be a Christmas Eve fire that won’t be soon forgotten. Let’s hope those brave firefighters get to safety.”

  “I can’t stay here, Alder.”

  “You really need to.”

  “I’m ten minutes from Potrero Point.”

  “You won’t be able to—”

  “I’ll call you later.” Beth couldn’t watch the television anymore. She needed some word from Mary, or just some word about her. The police might block her from getting close, but she had to try.

  *

  From her left, Mary saw water from a hose hitting the side of the building just below her. The hissing sound as the water vaporized sent an unsettling chill through her. The temperatures were extremely high, which meant that the building was probably fully involved.

  Twenty feet to their ladder. All they had to do was move from the building’s edge, toward their right, and reach their means of escape. The hole from the second explosion was not more than ten feet away. She slowed her pace, concentrating on the feel of the roof under her feet.

  Tomas must have been doing the same. “Feels sturdy here.”

  Mary looked into the hole and suddenly grabbed Tomas’s sleeve.

  She pointed, through the fire, to four large metal canisters lying on their sides. Their usually concave bottoms had popped out, swollen from over-pressurization. Those small bombs were dangerously close to blowing up.

  “Get to the ladder,” Tomas yelled.

  Angry, black smoke billowed out of the roof access room that she had opened up for ventilation not ten minutes earlier. The smoke covered the top four feet of the access room, racing toward open air. On the floor of the doorway, strange back-and-forth movement from something brown caught her eye.

  She stopped and squinted, trying to focus on what could be moving.

  “What are you doing?” Tomas pushed her. “Come on!”

  Suddenly the brown object took a step out of the doorway. It was a soot-covered puppy.

  She pointed. “Tomas!” And ran toward it.

  “Hurry!” Tomas yelled as she scooped the scared little puppy into her arm and turned.

  Tomas was already at the ladder, swinging his leg over the side.

  A third, deafening blast shook the building and Mary dropped down, cradling the puppy against her jacket. The explosion came from the opening they had been looking into. The canisters had detonated, ripping the hole even wider. The roof between them was now on fire. She couldn’t get to the ladder now.

  “Climb down,” Mary waved to Tomas, “and then move the ladder over here, closer to me.”

  Tomas’s head disappeared over the edge. She crawled to the side of the roof access room that faced the edge of the building. For now, she was alone with the terrified puppy, shivering against her. She prayed that the roof underneath her would hold up.

  *

  Beth followed the clouds of smoke and turned down a side road toward Mariposa Street.

  Christmas Eve. This would be their first. She burst into tears. Please let it be our first.

  Mary had become everything to her. It had been so easy, after she had finally given in to Mary’s loving nature and kind spirit, to fall in love deeper than she ever had. A warm memory of their first run together washed through her. Beth had escaped to San Francisco to lose herself in unfamiliar surroundings but had found instead a familiar heart. Mary had been escaping her own pain and, through running, they had grown closer and eventually realized that their paths were destined to join.

  She’d lived with Mary less than a year and now she couldn’t imagine a life without her. But as she turned onto Mariposa Street and saw the army of fire engines, hoses, police cars, news vans, and chaos, she let out a cry of anguish.

  Please let her be safe.

  She gripped the wheel and drove until a police officer waved her to a stop.
She backed up and parked in the driveway of a closed-down warehouse.

  *

  Mary looked up at the news helicopter that circled overhead. Beth’s exquisite face flashed before her. She prayed Beth was unaware of the fire. These were the calls that brought firefighter’s partners to panic and dread.

  How she wished she were home by now, kissing Beth in the kitchen and getting ready to sit down to their first Christmas dinner. How lucky she had been that Beth had given her a chance. They had come from different backgrounds, but they were more similar than she had originally admitted. Mary had been patient and so very thankful that she had pushed through her own fears of commitment. Beth had rescued Mary from pain, from her hidden sadness, and from her fear of giving her heart away again.

  Overwhelmed with love, she gulped in a deep breath, feeling the sharp twinge from too much smoke.

  The puppy began to whimper.

  “I’ll save you, little one.” Like Beth had saved her.

  *

  “I’m looking for Mary Walston. She’s with engine five.” Beth had found a fire lieutenant at the perimeter of the fire containment area.

  “You have to stay back, ma’am. This area is too dangerous.”

  Beth moved away and found other firefighters half a block away, all facing away from her looking upward at the building. As she got closer, she saw the big patches on the backs of their uniforms. SFFD Engine 5.

  She scanned the last names emblazoned above their patches. Blake, Rodriguez, Giovanni, Cooper.

  “Coop,” she called.

  The firefighter turned around. “Beth,” he said, but his eyes weren’t squinting, happy to see her.

  “Where’s Mary?”

  His lips pressed tightly and then he looked down.

  “Coop?”

  “She’s on the roof.”

  Her eyes followed his gaze upward.