Beasts Like Us

by Feral Sephrian

  When it came time for the parade, Mateo led them close to where it would begin. People were already lining up for it. They wandered until they found a good spot of their own. The announcement for the start of the parade went up. A few security guards walked at the front, but after them it was nothing but furries.

  Dazi’s first thought was that this is more of what he had imagined the Con-fur-ence would be like: people in fursuits as far as the eye could see with only a few glimpses of human skin. Many were recognizable animals, though for every one Dazi could guess there were just as many hybrids or mythical-looking creatures. Dogs and foxes, or mixes thereof, were the most popular, but all animals from bears to rats to owls had representatives. Dazi even spotted the shark furry from last night’s dance.

  There wasn’t much in the way of music. Some of the furries had musical instruments, like cymbals or hand-drums or guitars. One walked by in a full badger costume tooting a bugle.

  “How the hell is he playing that?” Kesi asked.

  “Some costumes are designed for performers,” Mateo explained. “One of the more popular careers for fursuiters is entertaining, whether it’s dancing, being a mascot, or playing in a band.”

  No doubt most of the furries on parade were incredibly charismatic. They waved to the cheering audience, gave people hugs and high-fives as they passed, and either called out with human voices or used that odd squeaking sound Dazi had yet to figure out. Some danced as they walked. Even the few in wheelchairs, which Dazi wasn’t expecting to see, showed off their enthusiasm.

  A couple dressed as what appeared to be deer/dragon hybrids walked side by side, with the smaller one pushing a stroller. In the stroller was a baby in a shimmering green dragon costume, and it seemed more astonished by its surroundings than anything else.

  “People drag their kids into this?” Kuhma asked with a disapproving sneer. Dazi rolled his eyes. He had had enough of this from Tommo. At least Tommo had the excuse of being a teenager trying to look cool. Kuhma was being a jerk for the sake of not having to like anything. If he kept this up, Dazi would have to have a talk with him.

  “Yeah,” Mateo replied. “It’s like parents who dress their kids up as Star Wars characters or make them wear toddler-sized versions of their favorite team’s jersey. If the kid grows up and doesn’t want to join the fandom, their parents will most likely be a little disappointed, but ultimately it’s the kid’s choice.”

  Kuhma snorted. “All I’m saying is it’ll probably mess the kid up a little when he’s older.”

  Mateo narrowed his eyes. “They said the same about kids raised by single parents or same-sex couples. Quit being fucking ignorant.”

  Even Dazi was taken aback. It shut Kuhma up for sure. Dazi could understand Mateo being frustrated by Kuhma’s attitude. What Dazi couldn’t figure out was how someone like Mateo, who admitted he had spent most of his life in isolation, had developed such a worldliness to the point where he felt the need to stand up for people he didn’t personally know. It was an admirable trait, but it shook up Dazi’s image of Mateo as a sheltered and lonely individual.

  Maybe he doesn’t need my help. Maybe he could stand up to the shamans on his own. But then what am I going to do about my punishment?

  “Look! There’s Rosie!” Mateo’s spirits lifted instantly as he waved to the familiar face. Rose spotted them too and waved back with both hands. She was wearing her new bell collar, which did go well with the black bands on her tail. It was odd, looking into this stream of brightly colored fake fur and knowing someone by name. Dazi wondered if he would see Ron again at some point. Ron wasn’t likely to be in the parade, since he didn’t have a full fursuit, so Dazi waved to Rosie as well.

  After that, Dazi pretended he did know other furries in the parade, that behind some of the strange masks were familiar faces. The painted and glass eyes seemed more friendly. Their antics were more amusing. Dazi waved to them all and cheered when a few formed an impromptu conga line, kicking their feet in unison despite having no music to dance to.

  Someone further up in the crowd put out their hand for a high-five. Half a dozen furries immediately changed their trajectory to give him one. Dazi stepped up and held out his own hand. Six soft plush paws hit him one after the other. The last one in the line let out a whoop that made Dazi laugh. When Dazi turned around, Mateo had the biggest smile on his face Dazi had seen all day. Even if Dazi hadn’t received a mood boost from the enthusiastic furries, Mateo’s smile alone would have been worth it.

  Oh, spirits, if you are merciful, don’t take away that smile.

  Dazi blinked the thought away and tried to focus on waving to his friends. Kesi was catching on as well. She took out her phone and snapped a few photos of the passing parade. Is she doing that because she wants to remember the costumes, or because she wants something to show the tribe? They had seen pictures online, and most of them had been like this, merely photos of people in fursuits, ignoring everyone else who attended in a lesser costume. Dazi took out his own phone and took a picture of the excited crowd instead.

  The tail end of the parade passed by, a pair of foxes flanked by more security guards in bright yellow vests. The crowd slowly began to close over the empty space, and Mateo gestured for the others to follow him.

  “Food is on the main floor, but there are vending machines down by the dealers’ hall where you can get cheaper drinks.” With a look to Dazi, Mateo added. “I’ll pay for lunch, if you guys don’t mind.”

  Kuhma shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. We can chip in.”

  Mateo nodded. He said, “Hey, sorry I snapped at you earlier. It’s just…if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s prejudice. I’ve seen what happens when it gets out of hand. My friends get ostracized because they’re Pagan, or Latino, or furries. I used to get teased because I’m gay, and I’ve been on enough chat sites to know I got off easy. My ancestors were scattered and decimated because they wouldn’t bow before the invaders’ crosses and swords.

  “Basically, the more closed-minded someone is, the more likely they are to lash out when presented with something from outside their comfortable view of the world. I get why you’re edgy, I do, but this is neither the time nor the place. These people come here because they face enough negativity in their day-to-day lives. Keep your attitude to yourself and try to have some compassion, okay?”

  Dazi could see now. It was empathy. Not only did Mateo know of people who were persecuted, but he had firsthand experience as well. Dazi thought of the hardships his own tribe had faced over the years. The stories were passed down through the generations so everyone could remember why they had to be careful, but nothing catastrophic had happened in Dazi’s lifetime.

  Maybe that’s why we came here so eager to find a conflict. We’ve been waiting so long for the next disaster that we’re willing to turn innocents into enemies so we can have someone to fight. I could try to tell everyone that will do more harm than good, but if I’m exiled no one will trust me. Dazi knew Mateo was his best hope, not only to justify his actions, but to teach his tribe to trust again.

  They picked up drinks from the vending machines before heading upstairs for the main course. The smell of frying meat as they approached the small food court made Dazi’s stomach growl. As Mateo had warned, the prices were a little steep, but they agreed to buy a large order of fries to share. Dazi ordered barbecue chicken and sat with his mouth watering while he waited for all their food to be ready. He sipped his bottle of water and fought the urge to turn into a mountain lion and leap over the counter to eat everything in sight.

  Dazi had to exercise his patience a little longer while his friends received their food and they all moved to a table. Once in his seat, Dazi snatched up a chicken wing and tore into it. Kesi scolded him in Shoshoni to eat like a human. With a mouthful of food, Dazi replied in Shoshoni, “I think I could bend over and lick my balls in public and they would think it’s part of my fursona.”

  Mateo’s head tilted at the familiar word am
ong Dazi’s and Kesi’s private conversation. Dazi felt bad for speaking in a way Mateo couldn’t understand, but they didn’t want anyone else overhearing what they were talking about. Rather than remark on it, Mateo said, “So, what did everyone think of the parade?”

  “I liked it,” Kesi said. “Some of those costumes were amazing!”

  Mateo smiled. “Yeah, well, when you shell out two-thousand dollars for a fursuit, you don’t spend it on the crappy ones.”

  Kesi’s jaw dropped. “That’s how much a costume costs?”

  “The simpler ones, yeah. The heads themselves cost about a thousand, especially if you want one with a moving jaw so you can eat and drink without taking it off. Then, depending on how complicated you want the rest of the costume to be, you pay for the fur, the padding, the custom patterns, and some people even install LED lights or sound boxes in their fursuits, if it fits their character. Rosie needed to custom order her head, and the rest wasn’t too complicated, but it cost about twenty-six hundred regardless.”

  Kesi stared silently for a moment. “So…if there were three hundred people in that parade—”

  “Easily,” Mateo said. “I’d estimate it more towards four or five hundred.”

  “And if each suit costs at least two-thousand dollars, that’s…” Kesi’s eyes grew wide. “Holy shit, we just watched over a million dollars’ worth of fur walk by.”

  “Yyyep,” Mateo said, taking a large bite of his burger.

  Dazi took a few fries from their plate at the center of the table and ate them pensively. He had learned so much in only one day. If we had any sense, we would have filmed some of this to show everyone at home. Then again, most of what I know now comes from Mateo. The shamans will listen to him…I hope. Unless they’re more like Kuhma, narrowing their minds until all they can see is what fits their prejudices. Dazi wondered what Mateo’s first impression of their tribe would be like. Will he be sympathetic, or will he shun them for being so defensive?

  Lunch didn’t last nearly long enough. Dazi went back and bought a brownie with his own money. When he returned to the table, their group had been joined by a couple furries Mateo knew from previous Con-fur-ences. Fortunately, they were on their way before they could ask any awkward questions about the Mukua’poan, but Mateo gave them both hugs before they left. Dazi sighed to himself and tried once again to suppress his jealousy.

  From there they wandered into a poetry reading for the last twenty minutes of the event. The author paced the stage as she spoke. She was dressed normally except for a tail similar to the one Mateo had offered to buy, which bounced lightly with each step. Dazi was distracted by it for a little while, until the author regained his attention when she started a poem called, “This Fake Skin I Wear.” It was about day-to-day life pretending to be like everyone else, hiding behind a “human disguise” but not feeling fulfilled. That was a theme Dazi had noticed this weekend, and his distrust of anyone who felt that way was softening to sympathy.

  Kesi seemed to be enjoying herself more. She sat through the entire reading quietly, nodding along to certain verses. Kuhma had his arms crossed half the time and texted for the rest. Dazi snuck a peek at Kuhma’s phone and saw Tommo’s name at the top of the screen. Of course. Everyone in the tribe probably knows by now and they’ll all want live updates. I hope Kuhma is giving a fair report.

  Mateo led them out from the poetry panel. By then Dazi and his friends learned to follow him wherever he chose to go. Dazi did it because he liked Mateo, but he knew Kuhma simply didn’t want Mateo escaping.

  On their way downstairs, they passed a large organized crowd. “What’s that about?” Dazi asked.

  “Voice actor meet and greets,” Mateo explained. “They got a few actors from cartoons and video games and a lot of people line up for hours for a chance to get a picture or an autograph. I waited in one of those lines once. Got all the way to the end, but they cut it off four people in front of me because the actor had to get going. Never bothered with it since.” He shrugged. “To each their own. These guys will be here until sunset, I’d bet.”

  They joined up with the “Are You a Changeling?” game since Kuhma was still curious about it. The game was more fun than Dazi expected. By the end he was fully into it, excitedly and emphatically shouting his guesses about who the changelings were. He himself was a changeling for one round, and while he did feel uncomfortable having people accusing him of being one, he had had enough experience bluffing that weekend to survive until the end of the game. Kesi also played the part of a changeling and handled it well, but Dazi breathed a sigh of relief when the game was over and Kuhma hadn’t been put in that situation. He was doing better, but Dazi suspected he might have cracked under that pressure.

  They wandered for a bit, went back downstairs to get more drinks from the vending machine, then Mateo checked his phone and said, “It’s about time Dazi and I got in line for the animation panel. You are still interested in going, right?”

  Dazi nodded.

  “Okay, then you guys can come wait with us in line or you can walk around, crash another panel, visit the dealers’ hall again, eavesdrop, it’s up to you. You’ll want to get in line for the Therianthropy panel no later than five-forty-five. It attracted a decent crowd two years ago, and I’m sure attendance has gone up since then.”

  Kesi and Kuhma talked quietly before Kuhma said, “We can walk around a bit.” He nodded to Dazi. “We’ll be in touch.”

  Dazi pulled out the event guide so he wouldn’t have to look Kuhma in the eye. He knew what Kuhma expected him to do, but it wasn’t something Dazi could bring up as soon as the others had left.

  They split up, Dazi following Mateo to the animation panel. Dazi gestured to the name in the guide. “So, who is this guy?”

  “He has a web series called Prince of Cats. It’s about a royal family of cats, and there are actually three princes from the same litter, but their father can’t decide which one he’ll make heir to the throne. One prince is gay, one is kinda insane, and one cares more about fish dumplings than he does about being prince. Though, the last prince is pretty smart, he just needs to be bribed with food before he’ll make a decision.”

  “Sounds…cute.”

  Mateo shrugged. “I only looked into it when I saw he was hosting this panel. The animation isn’t the greatest in terms of art style, but the writing is decent. The whole process is probably a lot harder than it seems, but I’m hoping to pick up the basics from this and the one tomorrow.”

  They chatted about Mateo’s plans for the future of his comic while waiting in line. He didn’t intend to make it into a full animated show, but there were certain short clips he wanted to create to illustrate certain actions better. Dazi didn’t mention that he wanted to animate Mateo’s comic. Despite his increasing hopes, his first instinct was caution. There was no point in pouncing if he couldn’t guarantee that he would catch something.

  The doors opened and everyone hustled to find a good seat. Mateo and Dazi got one a few rows back, but the view wasn’t awful. Their host flipped on his headset mic and said, “Hello, everyone, and welcome to One Paw at a Time: Getting Your Characters in Motion. I’m Fredrick Scotts, and I’ll be showing you how to animate motion sequences using Adobe Photoshop and Premiere.”

  Animation was more complicated than Dazi had thought. By now, in terms of technology, he assumed there would be a simple button to make cartoons move. Far from it. Each moving part needed to be animated separately, put in its own layer, and synchronized with everything else so it didn’t look goofy. Even the expert made a few mistakes here and there, which he happily turned into teaching moments. It took the whole hour for him to sketch and animate the bipedal cat in his demonstration, and all it did was take two steps, flick its tail, and wave.

  “Okay, hope you all learned something,” he said. “If you haven’t been scared away from the animating process, join me tomorrow for my follow-up panel, ‘Yips, Yaps, and Lip-Flaps’, where I’ll teach you how to anim
ate dialogue and facial expressions. Are there any questions before we go?”

  Dazi raised his hand. Mateo gave him an odd look, but Dazi tried to ignore that. When called upon, Dazi said, “Can you run this program on any computer?”

  “Can you run this on any computer? Technically, yes,” Fredrick said. “Run it well, no. You need a lot of processing power to put these many layers together, especially if you’re going to add recorded vocal tracks. It’s not something you can do on your tablet in an afternoon, not unless you get something top of the line that’s designed for this kind of work.” He went on to describe the set-up he had at home, but Dazi had heard enough. The desktop his family shared was getting along in years, and it didn’t sound like it would be up to this task. Another disappointment.

  “Do you want to get into animation?” Mateo asked as they left the panel.

  Dazi shrugged. “It looked interesting.”

  Mateo grinned. “Maybe if you did, I could get you to animate for me sometimes.”

  Dazi blinked back a tear. There’s two things I can’t get off my damn mind: fucking him and losing him. I can’t decide if doing both would be worse than doing neither. He sighed and shrugged again, trying to sound disinterested. “Maybe.”

  “So, what do you want to do now?” Mateo asked.

  It wasn’t a matter of what Dazi wanted to do, it was what he had to do. He had to tell Mateo why Kuhma had invited him back to the reservation, and why it wasn’t really an invitation because he didn’t have much of a choice. There was only a short window of time between now and when Kesi and Kuhma would rejoin them. It was now or never.

  * * * *

  Chapter 12

  Dazi was distracted again. Mateo had been trying to lift his spirits all day, but it seemed as soon as Dazi had a moment to think his mind went back to darker places. Whether it was the way Mateo had spoken to him the night before, Tommo’s departure, or lingering awkwardness after that morning, it didn’t matter. Mateo had seen Dazi opening up throughout the day. Watching him shut down again was painful, even these little slips where he became more distant and Mateo could sense his discomfort or negativity.