by Brenda Novak
* * *
“THAT WAS FUN,” Thad muttered when the elevator doors closed, sealing them off from the rest of the world.
Macy smiled her toothiest smile. “I thought so.”
“And you wanted to make me squirm because…”
“Because misery loves company, of course. Why should I be the one to suffer all the indignities?”
“Hmm, that would probably take a rocket scientist to figure out, but let me take a stab at it—because you’re the one who’s getting paid for it?”
Macy’s eyebrows rose at the sarcasm in his voice. “So the implacable Thad Winters doesn’t like suffering indignities, huh? Well, I figured it out. You think you’re paying me so incredibly well, but actually I’m only making $15.43 an hour. And that includes nothing for the pain of childbirth.”
“But I bet it does include nights when you’ll be doing nothing but sleeping. Am I right?”
“Obviously you’ve never been pregnant. It’s not easy to sleep when you’re pregnant.”
The elevator doors opened and they headed through the lobby and out into the mellow noon sun. Salt Lake had its share of snow in winter, but its gentler seasons couldn’t be more temperate or beautiful.
When they reached her car, Thad leaned against the driver’s-side door to prevent Macy from opening it. “So what’s your point?” he asked.
“My point is, you’re not doing me some big favor.”
“I thought we both understood the favor was mutual. Where else are you going to get the money, Macy?”
Macy ran a hand through her hair, disgruntled that she liked the way her name sounded on Thad’s lips; he said it in such a casual way, as though they knew each other well. For all his preoccupation with having a baby in this unconventional way, she found him attractive. And that made her more nervous and cross than anything else. “I have no other options. You know that.”
“Then we’re in this together, right?”
She nodded. “Yeah, we’re just two peas in a pod.”
He grinned, transforming his face into a boyish version of himself, and Macy had the sudden impulse to duck into her car, peel away and not look back. She’d thought he was handsome with a scowl. Heaven help her if he smiled very often.
“It won’t be as bad as you think,” he promised.
“How do you know?”
“Because we’re going to work together to make sure it isn’t.”
“Giving the team a little pep talk, eh, Coach?” she asked, unconvinced.
“I’ll give the team whatever it needs, just so long as I can depend on you. You’re not going to back out on me, right, Macy? If the lab results come back clean, you’ll see this through?”
Macy stared into sky-blue eyes, alight with Thad’s peculiar brand of intensity, and nearly swayed toward him. She needed to feel a pair of masculine arms around her, wanted the embrace of a mature man with strength to spare. But now wasn’t the time or the place to succumb to primal urgings. Thad might have the strength and maturity she craved, but their initial interview had been enlightening enough to tell her one thing for certain: he was in love with a ghost.
Standing straighter, she vowed to keep shouldering her load on her own, like the trouper everyone said she was. “I’m in it for the long haul,” she promised, partly because her love for Haley would allow nothing else, and partly because she was hoping he’d smile again.
In that, he accommodated her. “That’s better,” he said, and stepped away so she could go. But Macy had the sneaking suspicion he’d just drawn her a little farther into his web, and he knew it.
* * *
“WHAT ARE YOU still doing at the office?” Kevin demanded, sticking his head into the room. “It’s after midnight.”
Thad pushed away from the computer and rubbed his eyes. He’d long since removed his tie, rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, but he longed for a pair of old jeans, a T-shirt and a greasy hamburger. “Macy McKinney needs the money right away. I’m trying to come up with an agreement that will protect my interests if I give it to her.”
Kevin came into the room. “So she is the one.”
Thad nodded, his mind still submerged in the glowing text on his computer screen. “Hang on a minute.”
Rolling his chair back to the keyboard, he started typing again, revising, “Macy McKinney, hereinafter known as ‘Birth mother’ hereby agrees to appear at each and every doctor’s appointment scheduled for the upkeep and maintenance of the pregnancy,” to “Macy McKinney, hereinafter known as ‘Birth mother’ hereby agrees to allow Thad Winters to accompany her to each and every doctor’s appointment scheduled for the upkeep and maintenance of the pregnancy.”
There, that ought to keep him informed of what was going on, he thought. He’d hear the heartbeat, see the ultrasound, make sure Macy was gaining enough weight.
But doctor’s appointments were only once a month. How could he ensure she’d look after herself during the other times? He couldn’t exactly specify how often she had to eat and rest, could he? He considered inserting a clause on basic health care, wondering if she’d agree to a stipulation that she exercise half an hour every day, when Kevin cleared this throat.
Thad looked up to find his partner reading over his shoulder.
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. Why would I be?”
“You’re going to hand the woman a hundred thousand dollars, have her sign this contract and expect a baby in nine months?”
Thad scowled at the censure in Kevin’s voice. “Not exactly in that order. I’m going to make sure she’s pregnant first, have her sign the contract, then give her the money.”
“And after she signs it, are you going to pinkie-swear, too? What do you do if she breaks your little contract? Say she miscarries and refuses to be inseminated again. Or she changes her mind, for whatever reason, and aborts the baby. You can’t exactly sue her. Think about it. You don’t have a legal contract. Last I checked, you couldn’t ‘sell’ a baby in America. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, but it does means any contract trying to enforce your rights won’t be worth the paper it’s written on. She’ll end up with the money, and you’ll end up with nothing.”
Thad stretched his neck, trying to relieve the tension that had built up in his shoulders. Kevin was right about the contract. Deep down, he’d known it all along. But he’d slogged through the verbiage of what he’d like to guarantee, purposely ignoring the harsher reality. Because he was going to give Macy the money. He couldn’t do anything else, would never risk her daughter’s life by demanding she perform first.
“Bottom line, the money’s your only guarantee, buddy,” Kevin continued. “You should work it out to where she gets very little until the baby is born.”
“And if she needs to pay for a bone marrow transplant for her little girl, who is lying in a hospital right now, dying of cancer?” Thad asked.
Kevin stared at him. “So that’s why she came.”
“Right again.”
His partner shook his head. “You’re screwed.”
“Not yet.”
“You are if you’re going to rely on a written contract to get what you want.”
“That might be true.” Thad massaged his temples. Another thought had flitted through his mind while he’d been working on the contract, but he’d resisted it. It returned to haunt him now. It wasn’t a guarantee exactly, but was probably the closest he was going to get.
“There is another way,” he said slowly, the idea taking more definite shape in his mind. “It comes with its own share of risks, but…”
Kevin shifted his weight. “You’re making me nervous, friend. You’re already in this thing over your head.”
“Then I’d better start swimming.” Thad gave Kevin a rueful smile and snapped off his computer. “And I think I just figured out how.”
Kevin groaned. “God, Thad, tell me it’s the backstroke.”
“Not even close.”
* * *
MACY WAS EXHAUSTED. She’d originally planned to finish out the block so she didn’t fall behind in her classes, but finals were only three weeks away and she didn’t dare take the time away from Haley to study.
Neither could she fail, not if she wanted to become a pediatrician someday.
Setting her keys on a side table in her living room, she punched the Play button on her recorder and listened to Lisa tell her, in no uncertain terms, to eat the Chinese food she’d dropped off earlier. The next call was from her mother. Where was she? Why didn’t she keep in closer touch?
Her mother knew she couldn’t afford the long-distance bills.
The last message was from Dr. Biden’s office. The lab results were in. Everything had come back normal.
Well, she wasn’t going to die of AIDS, at least.
Macy kicked off her shoes and sagged onto the couch, too tired to even consider heating up something from the refrigerator. She hoped Dr. Biden’s vitamins were as good as the doctor claimed, because she’d given her body little else in the past twenty-four hours. What she needed more than food was sleep, but she was too keyed up. They hadn’t been able to find a bone marrow donor yet, and they had to have a near-perfect match or Haley’s body would reject the new stem cells. And she’d be worse off than before.
The telephone rang, but Macy just looked at it, too tired to haul herself up to answer.
The recorder came on, and Thad’s voice carried into the room. “Macy? I haven’t heard from you for the past two days. Is everything okay? Call me when you get a chance.”
He hung up just as Macy threw a pillow at the machine and nearly knocked over the lamp. She and Thad needed to talk, but she didn’t want to talk to him tonight. She could take only so much in a single day.
Climbing to her feet, she traipsed into the bedroom and brushed her teeth before pulling on her nightgown and climbing into bed.
At least when Richard ran off, he left her with the few pieces of furniture they’d acquired during their marriage. She still had the oak dining set, the sofa and an old recliner in the living room, Haley’s white bedroom set, a pull-out couch in the den and a queen-size water bed for herself. They were all garage-sale items, but the house she was renting made up for the style and elegance its furnishings lacked. She lived in the Avenues, near the university, where the houses were all unique, old and charming. Some dated back to the 1800s. Tall, shady trees lined the streets, and a mansion that had once belonged to Brigham Young or another of the city’s founding fathers sat on almost every corner. Macy longed for the day when she could buy one of the large Victorians she liked best and remodel it to suit her tastes.
Someday, when she was a doctor and Haley was well…
For now she liked her old-fashioned little house.
The phone rang again, and Macy picked it up without thinking. “Hello?”
“There you are. You had me worried. Is Haley okay?”
Thad again. Macy bit back a sigh and cursed the brain synapse that had shot her hand out for the receiver. “She’d be better if we could find a bone marrow donor, but she’s hanging on while we look.”
“Can anyone do it?”
“It’s not like giving blood. It’s painful, and it’s difficult to find a perfect match.”
“Can I be tested?”
“Sure, but you’ll have to fill out a questionnaire. Have you had unprotected sex in the past ten years?”
“God, you love turning the tables on me, don’t you?”
“I’m sorry. I’m tired.”
“I can hear it in your voice. How’s school?”
“I missed another one of my classes today but at least I made it to pharmacology. I’m not sure I’ll remember anything about the lecture, but I took enough notes to give my hand a permanent cramp.” She stretched her right fingers, remembering her frenetic pace.
“What about the class you missed?”
“I bummed the notes off a fellow student.”
“That’s good.”
“It’s better than nothing. Finals are coming up.”
“I bet you’re excited about that.”
“I would be if I thought I was going to pass,” she said, but she didn’t want to talk about school. “Will you really come in and be tested as a donor for Haley?” She knew the chances of Thad’s being a match were one in a million. All of Haley’s friends and family had been tested, with no luck. But it felt good to know he was willing to do what he could.
“Of course. Maybe if I go through a little pain and suffering of my own, you’ll feel better compensated for childbirth.”
Macy smiled, and climbed out of bed to open the window. A cool spring breeze stirred the curtains and ruffled her hair. “A woman would be untrue to her kind if she didn’t point out that there is nothing as bad as childbirth, but I’m grateful, so I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“I appreciate that, though I’d argue for circumcision as a close second.”
The scent of lilac filtered in from the bushes in back, and Macy relaxed on her bed, letting the down comforter swallow her. “You’d have a hard time getting any support for that argument. Newborn boys don’t have much of an advocacy group, while we woman are a vocal and determined lot. We’re not about to lose any praise for our high pain threshold.”
He chuckled. “Then I won’t upset the balance by disagreeing. When can we get together? There are some things we need to talk about.”
Macy yawned. “I know.”
“Tomorrow?”
Fighting the increasing weight of her eyelids, she struggled to vocalize a reply. Sleep beckoned and she sank into it, despite Thad’s voice in her ear. “Macy?”
“Tomorrow’s…fine.”
“Go ahead and get some sleep then,” he said, and strangely enough the sound of his voice was like a kiss on the forehead, soothing her into unconsciousness.
* * *
MACY AWOKE to the sound of sizzling bacon and the mouthwatering aroma of potatoes and onions. Oh good. Richard’s making breakfast for Haley. I can sleep a little later.
Richard! What was she thinking?
Macy shot out of bed as reality came crashing down on her addled mind like fifty tons of brick. She had classes today. Had she overslept? Would she have time to stop by the hospital and say hello to Haley, as she always did?
She shot a fearful glance at her alarm clock, which registered a mere six o’clock, and groaned. The buzzer wasn’t even supposed to go off until six-thirty. So who the heck was in her kitchen, banging around?
Lisa, of course. Somehow she knew Macy hadn’t eaten last night, and this was her revenge. Lisa knew everything.
After stumbling into the bathroom and brushing her teeth, she made her way to the kitchen, yawning and scratching her tousled head. “Jeez, Lisa, the least you could have done was warn me. Then I could have told you that I didn’t eat the Chinese food because I’d grabbed something at the hospital cafeteria.”
So what if it was only an apple.
“Lisa?”
“Good morning.” Thad stepped around the corner into the hallway wearing a T-shirt, a pair of worn, snug-fitting blue jeans—and a smile that could melt butter from a mile away. “Have a seat. Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“HOW DID YOU get in here?” Macy demanded, anger chasing the dust and cobwebs of sleep away.
Looking shamefaced, Thad frowned. “You said we could talk today.”
“I don’t remember inviting you over for breakfast. And I certainly didn’t give you permission to break into my house.” She shoved a hand through her hair, ignoring the fact that she was standing, barefoot and wearing an old, rather prudish hand-me-down nightgown of her mother’s in front of one of the most handsome men she’d ever met. “Because I agreed to have your baby, you think you own every minute of my life until the baby is born? Wrong! That’s not what you’re paying me for, Mr. Winters. What you get for your money is a child, not nine month
s of absolute control over me and my time.”
He rested his hands on his hips and studied her for a moment. “Is that your last word on the matter?”
“Yes!”
“Damn, there goes the daily-exercise clause.”
“The what? What did you just say?”
He chuckled and turned back to the kitchen and the bacon sizzling there. She followed him.
“Don’t get all worked up, Macy. I was afraid I’d miss you if I didn’t come early, and when I couldn’t rouse you at the door, I checked under the mat. The key lying there was like an invitation to come in. You really should hide it somewhere else.”
“God, now I know how the average burglar justifies breaking and entering,” she complained.
“The average burglar doesn’t fix you breakfast. Surely that’s a sign I come in peace.”
“I’d rather sleep than eat. You just robbed me of half an hour,” she said, but she had to admit that the food smelled particularly good. When was the last time she’d eaten something for breakfast that hadn’t come out of a box?
His smile grew crooked. “Don’t worry. I’ve created a schedule for you that includes daily naps.”
Macy ground her teeth. “You’re kidding, right? What planet are you from? Didn’t you hear what I just said?”
“Hey, I’m not trying to control you. I’m just being helpful,” he said, turning the bacon.
“You’re protecting your investment. Don’t cloak it as something noble.”
“Maybe, but I’ve done quite a bit of reading, and all the specialists agree that it’s important for a pregnant woman to get enough sleep. And exercise,” he added, glancing quickly at her face as if to gauge her reaction.
“That isn’t exactly late-breaking news. But in case you’ve forgotten, I’m in med school. I have finals in three weeks, and I have a daughter who’s fighting for her life at Primary Care Hospital. The last thing I have time for is a nap.”
Captivated by the food in spite of herself, Macy came up behind him to see what he had cooking on the stove. She found a pan on every burner: fried potatoes, pancakes, eggs and, of course, bacon. She hadn’t been grocery shopping in weeks. He must have brought the food with him.
