The Ties That Bind Us: (The Ties Duet Part One)

by Danda K.

  The one in the bomber eyes us warily as we pass them. I notice two teardrops tattooed under his eye and quickly avert my gaze. Jaxon pulls me protectively into his side, matching his intimidating stare.

  I’ve grown so used to Jaxon’s free spirit and carefree attitude, it’s moments like this, and the night I was attacked, that remind me how intimidating he can be. Jaxon isn’t just a life-sized teddy bear with blue eyes; he turns grizzly, fast.

  We enter the building and head straight for the elevator to wait. Still feeling uneasy about the guys outside, I stand as close as I can to Jaxon until the elevator’s ping goes off. The sliding door opens, and a child runs out laughing as a woman yells at him to slow down. We step inside, and he presses number six and watches as the doors slide closed.

  Bouncing on his feet, Jaxon rubs his hands together nervously. “What if she cries when I take her?”

  I lift the plastic bag I’m holding. ”That’s what the toy is for.” I rub his arm encouragingly. “It’ll be fine, Jaxon. I bet she’ll be excited to go to your house.”

  He looks at me now, his expression growing tight, making me wonder if I’ve said something wrong.

  We don’t have time to address the tension because the elevator doors open, and we’re staring at the hallway. Jaxon stays still as I mentally nudge him to move.

  As we walk down the hall, some doors have kids yelling behind them, some have music playing, others are completely silent. We approach Gelissa’s door, and Jaxon freezes again, staring at it for a minute before knocking. The door opens abruptly.

  In front of us is a very petite brunette, almost like me, but I’m surprisingly curvier. Her hair’s up in a messy bun, and she’s wearing nothing but a camisole and leggings. “Yeah?” she asks, impassively.

  Jaxon stands tall. “Is Gelissa here?”

  “Hold on.” The girl, who I assume is Gelissa’s cousin, slams the door in our faces, making it clear this family shares ill-mannered tendencies.

  After what feels like forever, the door opens again, this time with Gelissa holding Emersyn. The baby is bundled up in a purple winter coat and white sparkly crochet hat with a puffy ball on top.

  As I take another look at Jaxon’s ex, I can’t get over how gorgeous she is. Her curves are perfectly proportioned, and she has an abundance of cleavage showing through her thin tank top. There are also light freckles under her eyes and around her nose, which make her bright green eyes pop. It’s not until she speaks that you realize she’s actually ugly and mean.

  Handing Jaxon an overnight bag, Gelissa runs through things he should know about Emersyn before adding, “I need you to take her for two nights. I have a job interview on Friday that I need to prepare for.” She bounces the baby on her side while she awaits his response. I step back slightly, unaware of how this conversation will escalate.

  Jaxon’s words are unsure when he explains, “I work on Friday. I don’t know--”

  She cuts him off. “Why can’t your mousy little girlfriend here do it then?” She points her judgmental chin at me and turns back to him.

  Oh shit, no. I feel like there’s a golf ball inside my throat as I shift on my feet, panicking but trying to hide it.

  Please, please, please, don’t ask me, Jaxon.

  He looks at me from the corner of his eye as I stare at the ceiling, trying to avoid confrontation with both of them now.

  Shaking his head, he says, “I’ll figure it out. It’s fine.”

  Looking overly pleased with him now, Gelissa hands the baby over to Jaxon, catching him off guard. He’s jumbled with her at first, but once he guides his arm under her thighs and secures her back with his other hand, he seems much more confident.

  In an attempt not to scare her, Jaxon bounces Emersyn just like her mom did before, and she stares at him curiously.

  Gelissa clears her throat, distracting Jaxon from his moment with Emersyn.

  As he looks her way, she sticks her hand out expectantly. Jaxon rolls his eyes as he adjusts the baby in his arms to reach into his pocket. He takes out a hundred bucks and slaps it into the palm of her hand. Gelissa eyes the bill, unimpressed.

  I know this girl’s game, and Jaxon better not fall for it.

  Jaxon’s eyes narrow. “If there’s anything else you need for my daughter, let me know, and I’ll go pick it up personally. I’m not gonna be your personal bankroll, Gelissa.”

  She glares daggers at him as she shuts the door.

  Emersyn’s still staring at Jaxon like she’s memorizing him. I watch as he looks back at her again, adoringly. His eyes turn glassy, but this time happiness adorns his face. He straightens her hat and adjusts the bottom of her coat as he admires her, and it’s the most genuine exchange I’ve ever witnessed between a father and his daughter.

  I take out my phone and snap a quick picture of them, knowing Jaxon would love to have this memory saved.

  He finally speaks to her, bringing his eyes to meet hers. “Emersyn, I’m your da--”

  All of a sudden, she sneezes right into his face, stunning him. He pulls his head back, and I spot the baby spit shining on his cheek from here. He stays frozen for a few seconds, blinking rapidly, until he finally wipes his face with the back of his hand.

  He turns to me, and I’m trying, trying so hard to keep a straight face, but there’s no stopping the smile that pulls at my lips and the laughter that follows when Emersyn also starts belly laughing.

  “Something funny, Nyx?” He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, and I cover my mouth with my hands to hide my smirk.

  “I guess this sums up parenthood, huh?”

  All three of us are laughing as we head back down the hall to take Emersyn to her new home for the next couple of days.

  One YouTube tutorial later, Jaxon finally gets Emersyn buckled in, and we’re heading back to Coney Island. Other than the clicker when Jaxon switches lanes and the occasional noises coming from Emersyn in the back, the truck is filled with silence.

  By the time we pull up to the house, Emersyn’s fast asleep holding a pink polka dot blanket and stuffed unicorn. We park in the garage, and Jaxon carefully unbuckles her to carry her to her little bed.

  When he comes out of the room, he drops her coat and hat over one of the kitchen chairs and rummages through the shopping bags from Target. “Wow, I didn’t realize I bought so much stuff.” He takes out a few sippy cups and examines them.

  “I’m pretty sure you just paid Target’s entire electric bill for the month.” I furrow my brows at the pillow he bought.

  “You do know those are for breastfeeding, right?” I point to the U-shaped pillow.

  He raises his eyebrow. “I thought it was like an innovative way for kids to sleep, like one of those body pillows.” He shrugs and continues to go through the bags.

  I crinkle my nose. “Yeah...pretty sure it’s still a nursing pillow.”

  There’s a little voice calling out from the second bedroom. Emersyn’s awake.

  Jaxon turns to head to the room, but when he does, we find her already standing by the kitchen entrance with her blanket in her hand.

  Emersyn yawns. “Mama, now.”

  Jaxon kneels down on one knee, resting his forearm on his leg. “Mama’s not here, Emersyn. You’re gonna stay with me today.” He places her hand on his face. “Your daddy.”

  As he picks her up and carries her into the kitchen, she immediately eyes all the toys and tries to reach for them. Jaxon grabs one and takes her into the living room so she can play.

  I give them their space as they play for well over an hour. While they get to know each other, I prepare some turkey burgers and fries for dinner. I don’t know what a kid her age should eat, so I open a box of mac and cheese and start to boil the water.

  We’re just taking the last bites of our burgers when we notice Emersyn rubbing her eyes and growing irritated. “I’m gonna put her pajamas on.” Jaxon stands up and carries her out of the kitchen. He comes back a few minutes later, and I hand him her sippy cup fil
led with milk.

  It takes about an hour, but she’s finally down. Jaxon kept trying to rock her in his arms and read over ten books to get her to sleep.

  Jaxon falls onto the bed, shirtless, and lies on his back, pulling the blanket over his body. It isn’t long before his chest is rising and falling steadily and light snores escape his lips. His grey sweatpants peek out through the covers as he adjusts his legs underneath.

  I lie down next to him and pull the blanket up to my neck, feeling the warmth from his body through my white pajama shirt when he pulls me closer to him.

  My eyes finally flutter closed when a scream tears through the house, coming from Emersyn’s room.

  Jaxon jumps out of bed so fast he hits my head with his elbow in the process. He looks around the room frantically, confused about where the noise is coming from.

  His eyes widen as he remembers his daughter in the other room and runs towards her. I stay rooted to the spot, the sound of her screaming bringing back familiar memories I don’t want to acknowledge.

  I hear Jaxon try to soothe her in the other room. She seemed to be a pretty chill baby during the day, so I’m sure she’ll calm down soon. And if there’s anyone in the world who could talk down a person in distress, it’s Jaxon.

  Thirty-eight

  Jaxon

  Why won’t she stop crying?

  I’m doing everything possible to get her to calm down, but nothing’s working. I rocked her for twenty minutes and even tried to read a book again, but she didn’t even seem to notice I was there.

  It’s as if she’s in the middle of a full-blown nightmare but awake. Fuck. Maybe I should take her to a hospital? What if she’s in pain? It’s one o’clock in the morning, so I know her pediatrician isn’t available.

  Emersyn’s been screaming for over an hour, and I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to help her calm down. Cameron comes to the door to check on us, cringing as Emersyn’s screams grow louder. This can’t be easy for her either. Cameron has zero experience with babies and just started to work through her emotions with adults. “I Googled what she’s doing, and it seems like it could be night terrors!” she yells over the screams.

  I’m bobbing Emersyn up and down in my arms as she pushes off me, trying to squirm out of my reach. “So what should I do?!” I yell back at Cameron as I rub the baby’s head, and she quiets down.

  “It says a change of scenery and as little communication as possible. Pretty much, you just have to let her ride it out, but somewhere other than where she started screaming.”

  Emersyn’s screams return as I nod in response. I can feel her tears dripping on my shoulder. Cameron walks out and heads towards the kitchen.

  I try calming Emersyn in the hallway. No dice.

  Her cries are breaking my fucking heart. I have the sudden urge to find some sort of scientist and offer to be their personal fucking guinea pig until they come up with a cure for these night terrors that Cameron mentioned.

  I decide to try my room since the living room and kitchen are out. The lights are on there, and Cameron’s probably cleaning every fucking surface insight at this point. When we walk into the room, Emersyn’s still crying, but the screaming has at least stopped. It’s mostly deep, shaky breaths and whimpers, so I hug her tighter and slowly rock her again, feeling her body ease back to a calmer state.

  She picks her head up off my shoulder and looks up at me, rubbing her eyes, then reaches up to pull at the longer strands of hair on my head. Emersyn isn’t hurting me, and I’ve seen her do this before with her mom, so I’m wondering if it’s just something she does.

  She lunges her body towards my bed and points to it, so I walk over and lay her down. Emersyn looks for something, eyes frantic, the first signs of another meltdown surfacing. Fuck. A lightbulb goes off in my head, and I realize she’s probably looking for her blanket.

  I turn to make a mad dash into her room but find Cam standing in my doorway with her arms out, both the blanket and unicorn in her hands.

  I approach her and retrieve the items, kissing her on her forehead. If only this girl knew how natural her instincts were, she’d have such a different perspective on her abilities.

  I sit beside Emersyn and place the items next to her as I kiss her gently on the forehead. She grows quiet as her breathing becomes steadier. I turn to stand up and grab the nightlight I bought, but her little hand grabs hold of my pants to stop me.

  “Daddy?” It sounds like both a statement and a question.

  “Yes, baby girl, Daddy’s here now.” I mean this in more ways than one.

  She reaches her arms out for me, so I slowly climb into bed with her as Cam turns and heads back down the hall.

  I watch her go as my daughter climbs on top of me. I’m on my back as she rests on my chest with one hand gripping her blanket and the other arm reaching up to hold onto my hair, twisting it between her little fingers.

  In a matter of minutes, she starts blinking slowly, her mouth parted in the most innocent way as she drifts off into a deep sleep.

  I stay there for forty-five minutes, afraid I’ll wake her by standing too quickly. I gently guide her off me and place her in the middle of the bed. She rolls onto her belly as I hold my breath in a panic. Emersyn squirms a bit but ends up adjusting herself with her little behind in the air and her blanket squished under her belly.

  It’s at this moment I realize I’d burn the entire world to ashes for this little girl.

  Once I have her safe and secure in the center of the bed, I head into the kitchen to check on Cameron. I smell coffee but find Cam asleep on the couch with her red Christmas blanket covering her. She’s hidden underneath it except for her fuzzy socks poking out at the end.

  I know I got annoyed at her yesterday for making that comment about Emersyn coming to my house. As if this place isn’t hers just as fucking much as it is mine. I don’t want Cameron feeling disconnected. I want her to feel like my baby girl is joining us both here.

  But I can’t rush her.

  This is all new to me, but the entire world is new to Cameron.

  And I won’t force her into a position like this. If she wants to bond with Emersyn, I want her to do it naturally, kinda like she did with Sam.

  I turn off the lamp next to the couch and head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Cam took out my favorite Christmas mug, the one that says Jingle these Bells with a pair of bells mimicking, well, balls. I internally laugh at the pun behind the joke and can almost feel Cameron’s eye roll from her sleep.

  I pour myself a cup, sit down at the table, and look around our tiny home. What was supposed to be time for me to decompress has now turned into me making a long list of all the things I need to do.

  A list. Go figure.

  I finally got Cam to send her list to hell where it belonged, just to create one of my own.

  But, this one’s different. This list isn’t about the things I need to do for myself. It’s about the things I need to do for Cameron and my daughter. My daughter. Holy shit.

  I look down at what I have written on the small notepad.

  -Different job

  -Bigger apartment

  -Call Abe about custody

  -Christmas shopping

  I’ll start with the last thing on my list, spending this week Christmas shopping for both my girls.

  For my daughter, who I already adore enough for fifty lifetimes, and Nyx, the most selfless woman I’ve ever met, the one I’m head over heels in love with.

  ◆◆◆

  “You can definitely talk him down, Jax. Especially since you’re going for a base model,” Morgan whispers to me as we sit at the salesman’s desk in the dealership.

  I know this already, but I let him do his thing. He obsesses over numbers, which is probably why he went into accounting. It does come in handy, though, like right now when I need his budgeting expertise.

  I won’t go higher than two-hundred a month for a car. Especially if I’m sticking with a sedan instead of givi
ng in to the itch to get a truck. I wanna save as much as I can now until I get a good job and can afford a bit more a month.

  When the car salesman returns, we go back and forth a bit, and I settle on the newest Hyundai Sonata in metallic black. It’ll take about a week to get it, but the weather’s still decent enough for my bike, and any day I need to do something with Emersyn, I can always use Sayeed’s truck.

  On the drive back to my house, I get an email notification from Abe confirming he got the signed custody agreement from Gelissa.

  She gave me the exact terms I asked for, which is a relief. It also states I’ll have child support payments deducted from my checks accordingly, which is another reason I need to find another job.

  I filled out an online application for a construction company, so with some luck, they’ll call me for an interview.

  My silent prayer gets interrupted by Morgan, who’s still rambling on about this same mystery girl that’s driving him crazy. Although now she has a real number, and her name’s Emily.

  “Dude, one minute she calls me to tell me she wants to see me, then an hour later she’s canceling saying she already made plans with friends. I don’t fuckin’ get it. Any other girl I would’ve peaced out quick and lined up the next warm body to bury my dick in. But there’s something about this chick. I don’t know, maybe it’s the fucking chase.”