The Ties That Bind Us: (The Ties Duet Part One)

by Danda K.

  He shrugs before looking over his shoulder to switch lanes.

  “Dude, girls are complicated as fuck. I’m still trying to figure mine out.”

  He lights up a cigarette and opens the window to the car to let the smoke out. “Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth.”

  “So, how long are we doin’ this?” I point my chin towards the Marlboro Light hanging from his mouth.

  “I don’t know, man. It keeps my head in check. I’m all over the place these fucking days. Between my parents, work, this girl...” He inhales again and blows the smoke out the window. “I’m workin’ on it, though.”

  I nod my head in understanding and turn to stare out the window again, rolling down the window to avoid the stench.

  By the time Morgan drops me off, Cameron’s already heading out for her shift at the bookstore. We exchange the details of our day as she ties up her boots to get ready to leave.

  Giving me a quick peck on the lips, she heads out, closing the door behind her.

  I eye the toys all around the house, still not fully believing I’m a father. The first night two weeks ago was rough, but Emersyn has been as happy as can be since then. She tries to join us in bed sometimes when she spends the night, but I’m afraid if I let her, it’ll become a habit. On those nights, I sleep on the floor in her room.

  I head to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee when my phone rings. It’s Gelissa, so I swipe to answer it.

  “I need you to take Emersyn tonight. I have another job interview.” I huff out an exasperated breath, not because I don’t want my daughter, but because I know she’s lying. I’m starting to feel like she’s using me as her own personal babysitter.

  And, yeah, I love that I get to spend more time with Emersyn, but it bothers me how quick she is to hand her off just so she can go out and party with her cousin.

  “Okay, but you need to drop her off.”

  Without hesitation, she responds, “I’m on my way.”

  Around twenty minutes later, the doorbell rings, and Gelissa walks into the house without any invitation and drops Emersyn’s bags on the floor. The baby runs off and heads straight for the toy bin I put in the living room for her.

  “So what job is this that you’re applying for, Gelissa, a professional con artist?” She gives me a sarcastic ha-ha face.

  “If you need to know, it’s as a server in a very upscale private club for men.”

  I scoff. “So a strip club?”

  She gives me the finger. “It’s a gentleman’s club. It’s classier than a strip club, and I won’t be stripping, just serving drinks, so save your judgment, Jaxon. Not everyone has the luxury of working in a gas station.”

  A low cackle escapes my lips, and I shake my head, knowing she’s so full of shit. She’s going out.

  I hear the jingle of keys in the door before it opens, and Cameron walks in. She stops dead in her tracks and looks between me and Gelissa, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

  Thirty-nine

  Cameron

  Well, this is awkward.

  I had no idea Emersyn was staying with Jaxon tonight. Not that I mind her, it’s the Medusa with the red hair who’s currently taking up space in the apartment that has me wishing I fell into a ditch on my way back home.

  “Hey baby, I thought you had work?” Jaxon gives me an uncomfortable smile. The bitch rolls her eyes at his pet name for me.

  I place my Jansport down on the floor and take off my boots. “There was a mix up with scheduling. I wasn’t supposed to work today.”

  Gelissa checks her nails as Jaxon blurts out, “Gelissa has a job interview.” He gives me a yeah right look and continues, “She needs me to take the baby tonight so she can go.”

  I nod my head and smile tightly as I continue taking off my layers from the cold.

  I walk past Jaxon to head to the kitchen, but he grabs my arm to stop me, placing his usual kiss hello on my cheek. Gelissa clears her throat, and I continue into the kitchen. I listen to their exchange as I open the fridge for no reason other than to be close by and make sure she isn’t going to try and squeeze any more money out of him. They ramble on about some stuff with custody agreements and discuss Emersyn’s upcoming pediatrician appointment.

  I notice Gelissa has been acting much sweeter to Jaxon than usual during their encounters, especially when I’m around. I got her number, though. I may have been closed off to the world for a long time, but I can spot a devious bitch from a mile away.

  Emersyn runs over to her mom, hides behind her legs, and then sticks her head out to play peek-a-boo with Jaxon. He goes along with her, faking shock every time she pops out and yells. Gelissa picks her up, and the baby continues to try to keep Jaxon’s attention. Although this is a completely innocent exchange between Jaxon and his daughter, I know Gelissa is enjoying it way too much. She has a sly grin on her face that I know is aimed right for me, even though she hasn’t looked my way once.

  Emersyn reaches out for Jaxon, and he grabs her and holds her in his arms. She rubs her nose against his then reaches back towards Gelissa. “Mama.” She reaches out for her now, and Gelissa steps closer to Jaxon as he freezes in discomfort. His back is towards me, so he can’t tell I’ve been side-eyeing them the whole time from behind the refrigerator door.

  But Gelissa knows, and I know she’s going along with this just for my benefit. She wants to shove the one thing she does have with Jaxon in my face. The one thing I’ll probably never have, his child.

  At this point, Gelissa is close enough for Emersyn to pull her in by the back of her neck.

  “Mama... Daddy...hug.” Emersyn tries to pull them both in for a group hug, and it’s at this moment Gelissa subtly winks my way as she closes the space between them.

  I swear if that baby wasn’t in such close proximity to her, I’d fly through this kitchen window and throat punch her. Jaxon steps out of the embrace immediately and distracts Emersyn with tickles as she doubles over in laughter.

  Gelissa shakes off his rejection, looking to the side as he continues to play with his daughter. He puts Emersyn down on the floor, and she runs off towards her toys again.

  “Well,” Gelissa drags out the word. “I’m gonna get going.” With a devilish grin, she rubs his arm up and down with her hand. “Take care of our baby, Jaxon.” She bats her eyelashes at him as he grabs her wrist and slowly removes it from his body. Ouch.

  He looks over at the baby before whispering something in Gelissa’s ear, which I’m assuming isn’t too pleasant because she scoffs and forcefully pulls her hand out of his grasp. Adjusting her bag on her shoulder, she storms out without even saying good-bye to her daughter.

  Once the door closes, Jaxon turns a worried eye towards the kitchen. I’m assuming to see if I caught any of their confrontation. God, I hate that bitch. I pretend to be busy, not wanting him to think I’m a crazy, jealous girlfriend.

  Which I obviously am. I feel him behind me as I rinse my hands in the sink.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call and let you know she was coming here.” He squeezes my sides as he kisses my shoulder, so I turn around to face him.

  “You know she still has feelings for you, right?” I look down, feeling insecure.

  “She isn’t capable of having genuine feelings for anyone, Nyx. She’s a narcissistic sociopath.” He takes my face in his hands. “And even if she was capable, I don’t give a shit. She’s the mother of my child, that’s it, so she’ll have to be a part of my life for a long time. But never more than that.”

  “She definitely wants more Jaxon, I can tell. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to get back with you.” I look up at him now, feeling another pang of jealousy rise from my gut. “She may want to try and be a family for Emersyn.”

  He laughs out loud. “Baby, trust me. I know her. She’s way too selfish for any of that. And I would never want anything more with her, so it wouldn’t matter. I love you. You’re the only crazy lady I want in my bed.”

  Wiggling his eyebrows at m
e, Jaxon reaches behind me with both hands and squeezes my butt. I feel better about it now, sure, but a part of me can’t help but wonder if I’m holding Emersyn back from having a mom and a dad.

  Something I never had. Not really anyway.

  “Daddy!” I hear Emersyn’s little voice from behind him as she runs into the kitchen, leaving a trail of toys behind her. She reaches her hand up to give Jaxon a teacup, and he takes a long and exaggerated sip. She takes his hand and drags him back into the living room, where I look to find all her tea set toys out.

  Still feeling discouraged since the witch flew out on her broomstick, I decide to take a shower. I grab a towel out of Jaxon’s room and head for the bathroom, almost tripping over Magnet, who’s stopped to rub his face against my legs. I peek out into the hallway and hear Jaxon still busy having a tea party.

  I put all of my stuff down and walk towards the bed instead. Climbing on, I tap the soft surface to get the feline raccoon’s attention, and he jumps up immediately. Grabbing my book off the nightstand, I get comfortable as he climbs on my lap, purring, and lays between my legs as I start to read.

  I must have fallen asleep with Magnet because the next thing I know, I wake up to Jaxon removing my glasses and placing them on the nightstand.

  “What time is it?” My voice is scratchy as I rub my tired eyes.

  “It’s almost ten, Nyx.” My eyes open in surprise.

  “I’ve been asleep for almost five hours?” I check for my cuddle buddy and notice he’s long gone.

  I hear soft breathing filling the quiet of the room we’re in and look around for where the sound is coming from.

  “I installed one of those video monitors in Emersyn’s room.” Jaxon points towards the little white box he set up on the nightstand. I nod and stretch my arms, feeling more awake and refreshed.

  I get up and head to the dresser for actual pajamas to put on instead of my work clothes.

  Once I have my fleece bottoms and white tee out, I pull my black work shirt over my head and slide my black jeans down my legs. Just as I reach behind me to unclasp my bra, I feel Jaxon’s cool fingers brush against the skin on my back as he removes the clasp for me.

  His warm breath tickles my neck when his seductive voice whispers, “Hey, baby.”

  He kisses me softly on the area, and I feel my body relaxing even more. He hugs me from behind as he looks at me through the standing mirror I’m in front of.

  “I’ve missed you.” He takes my straightened hair and moves it all to one side of my neck.

  I feel the heat creep up my neck when I look over my shoulder at him, responding softly, “I was barely gone an hour today.”

  “I know, I just feel like I’ve been so distracted with Emersyn. Things are a bit different now.” He kisses my lips, my back still to him, and I feel his finger circle my belly button.

  Jaxon grabs the straps of my opened bra and slides them over my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, my bare breasts now exposed in the mirror. He kisses the crook of my neck again, and a slight whimper escapes my lips as his fingers travel lower down my abdomen.

  I catch his eyes in the mirror staring at me as he continues to guide his hand lower and lower. I instinctively press my backside into him, trying to escape the sensation but also begging for more. I look away from the mirror, a bit uncomfortable with watching what’s happening.

  “Look at us, baby.” He turns my head to the mirror. “Look how perfectly your body responds to me.”

  I want to close my eyes, but I’m suddenly intrigued, so I watch what he’s doing. My arousal is already soaking my panties, and once the tip of his finger reaches the elastic rim of my underwear, I take a deep, shaky breath.

  He pulls the material away from my body with his finger, then lets it go, watching as I jump from the slap of the fabric against my skin. Breathing heavier, I watch as his whole hand is hidden underneath the lace, his finger circling the tiny bud there. My knees give out slightly, and Jaxon holds me up with his other hand around my waist.

  “Charming...” I breathe out as a warning, and he moves faster before sliding two fingers inside me, pumping in and out as his thumb works my outside. “Ahhhh...” I’m louder now, unable to contain my desire for him.

  He grabs my neck, lifting my chin with his finger as he whispers into my mouth, “Shhh baby, you gotta be quiet.” He curls his fingers inside, and I arch my back into him, feeling his hardness through his sweatpants. My climax is just on the horizon, and I’m desperate for it to consume me.

  The sound of a quiet knocking on his bedroom door pierces the moment, bringing me to my senses. I separate myself from Jaxon, literally, and throw some clothes over my body.

  “Daddy...?” Knock-knock. “Daddy...?”

  Jaxon adjusts himself inside his pants and wipes his hands off with an old t-shirt on the floor.

  And that’s one way to kill the mood.

  He runs over to the door and opens it to find little Emersyn standing there in her pajamas, blanket in hand, and the bottoms of her pants drenched.

  “Did she sweat in there?” I ask as I point to her bottoms.

  Jaxon looks and shakes his head. “She must have peed through her diaper.”

  He picks her up and brings her into the bathroom. Magnet follows behind him, curious as to where Jaxon is taking the baby.

  It seems the feline child has a thing for the human child.

  Magnet follows Emersyn around everywhere when she’s here and even kicks her toys around as she plays. For a serpent, he’s surprisingly gentle with her. Even the one time she accidentally stepped on him. He didn’t scratch her, just let out a loud meow and ran off.

  I hear the bathwater turn on, and little giggles echo into the room. I peek in and notice Jaxon hasn’t grabbed her any clothes or a towel yet, so I head off to get some, so he doesn’t have to leave her unattended.

  “Here,” I hand Jaxon her things, and he smiles at me, a look of surprise on his face. Okay? Does he think so little of me he’s shocked I’d help make things easier for him?

  I look at Emersyn and see the most adorable little girl with the biggest blue eyes. Her dark blonde curls, button nose, and baby freckles make her look even sweeter. I care about her because she’s Jaxon’s, and I love him. But I’m not gonna lie and say I feel a bond with her, or that I play with her, or kiss and hold her whenever I can.

  In fact, I have yet to hold her, and she’s spent several nights here at this point.

  It’s not personal, and I hope Jaxon doesn’t take it that way. I don’t know how to be affectionate towards a little girl. I was never shown affection at her age. It wasn’t until I met Jaxon that I was even introduced to those feelings. Twenty-one years is a long time to be deprived of tender human touch, so he can’t expect this to come naturally to me.

  Opening up to Emersyn would be a huge step. It would be more than just adoring her or caring for her too. I’d be taking on a maternal role in her life, and it scares the hell out of me. I don’t know how to be a mother figure to anyone, let alone a little girl.

  I watch as Jaxon gives her a quick bath, and I must’ve been standing there for a bit because he’s almost done cleaning her.

  “Can you bring the towel over here?” Jaxon points to the folded one on the sink. I carry it over to him, opening it wide so he can wrap her up in it.

  He picks Emersyn up out of the tub as she giggles, dripping with water, placing her between my arms where the towel is. My eyes widen in surprise as he presses her against my chest. He starts to wrap the towel around her, and my arms are forced to follow suit.

  I feel like I’ve lost my voice, my mouth opening and closing in shock. He notices the panic in my eyes and takes her out of my arms immediately. She blows raspberries through her mouth at him, with no idea that the adult who just had her in her arms has worse emotional regulation skills than she does.

  Once he has her safely in his arms, I turn around and run out of the bathroom. Breathing forcefully through my nose, t
he tears are already pooling in my eyes.

  I hate myself. I hate that I can’t hold Jaxon’s baby and adore her, if not for the simple fact she’s a part of him.

  I hear him call my name, but I close the bedroom door and throw myself on the bed.

  I’m heading into a tailspin that I haven’t experienced since being with Jax. My entire body is tingling and not in a good way. It feels like there’s an army of ants forcing their way inside me and crawling under my skin.

  I rub my arms violently, scratching at whatever skin I can get to. I see shadows of movement under the door as Jaxon tries to get Emersyn settled again.